How to Win Friends and Influence Editors
by Alison Tyler

You’ve seen the guidelines. The ones that are intensely specific, down to the Font type and point size. The ones that say you’ll get a good sound spanking (or at least be disqualified immediately) if you don’t follow the rules to a T. Why do some editors treat you like a kid?

Simple. Because writers often completely disregard the guidelines. Not only do some writers forget to pay attention to the rules, occasionally people do exactly the opposite of what is requested.

So here are 11 hints for how to make sure editors will take your work seriously:

1. Follow the rules. If an editor wants a Word attachment, send a Word attachment. (Although I truly do my best to read every sort of file I receive, the ones that arrive as Excel files are ever-baffling to me.) Does the call ask for you to paste your story into an email? Do that. Don’t argue that the italics will go wonky or that your em-dashes will disappear. Trust that the editor knows what he or she is doing. Were you asked to send your bio up front? Send one without moaning, “I am so bad at writing these.” Create a basic bio and update regularly, so you’ll have one handy. (And as a side note: please, please, for the love of god, please don’t tell me how many dogs or cats you have, what their names are, or how long they’ve been on antidepressant medication.)


2. If the word count is specified—do not exceed this number. I have no use for an 8,000 word story if my call is for 2,500 words. Even close calls make more work for me. If I have a 1,500 word max stated, don’t give me 1574. Give me 1500 words. Max.


3. Put your name on the attachment. Unless told not to, put all of your info on your story. Don’t embed it into the file. (I fucking hate that.) Put your name and email on the title page as well as in the cover letter of your email. When I’m downloading hundreds of stories, I don’t necessarily want to print out all of the emails, as well. Playing a game of match the story to the author is a whole lot of no fun.


4. Be willing to revise. I am in love with the writers who say, “I’m not precious. I’m happy to work on this with you.” In fact, “I’m not precious” may be my favorite three words ever. Often, I receive stories with similar titles. On this last call, I had “The First Time,” “The Very First Time,” and “The First Time Since.” Two needed to be changed. I’m lucky that my authors were flexible. Not being flexible may mean that you’ll be cut.


5. Don’t be the first to sub—If you send me a story ten seconds after my call goes live, I’ll know you’re recycling. Editors like to believe that writers are creating pieces just for them. (Unless it’s for a ‘best of’ collection.) Conversely, don’t be the last to sub. Coming in under the wire is fine, but stretching that wire by claiming it’s still May 1st in Australia makes life more difficult for me.


6. If you have a question, put the word QUERY or QUESTION in your email subject line. If the subject line is the name of your story or the title of the anthology, I’m going to think that this is a submission and slip the piece into my folder without reading the email until the end. When it’s too late to answer questions.


7. Know that editors talk. If you screw one editor, she or he will spread your name. Seriously. The plagiarist cycling around three years ago? Everyone knew who to look out for. The person who pulled her story from a collection at the very last moment, wreaking extreme havoc for an editor. I know who she is. The writer who broke a contract with a big-time magazine. I won’t work with him. This is a real basic: The erotic community is too small to go around making enemies.


8. You’ve been invited to submit for a private call. Lucky you! Be sure to ask before you pass around the information. I received the most insane emails from someone I didn’t invite to sub to an anthology. Aggressive, demanding emails—which, I’ll say, is why the writer wasn’t invited in the first place. I’m a quiet person. I don’t like being yelled at. What part of “private call” didn’t the writer understand.


9.  If you change your email address, send an update. I can’t tell you the amount of frustration I feel at wanting to print a story and not being able to locate the author. This has happened to me a handful of times since I first started editing, and I always feel sad at having lost a great story. Keep your editors up to date.


10. Follow up. If you don’t hear from me after several months, I have no problems with queries. Sometimes emails go haywire. Although I always try to keep writers up to date, with the amount of anthologies I work on at once, sometimes I slip up. Remember, however, while you might have subbed a story in July, the call might not have ended until September 1st. Don’t query me on September 3rd.


11.  Finally, an odd note: Don’t sub a story featuring the first name of the editor. I feel naked in a bad way when reading a story about a character named Alison getting her panties pulled down. Also, I’d recommend avoiding names of the editors’ known associates, or of the publishers. Please be willing to change a character name if asked.

For more of my basics, please check out these posts:

• Editor’s Rant: “How to Make Me Want to Fuck You”
• 10 Reasons Why Your Story Didn’t Get Selected: “If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say”
• Writers’ Bill of Rights: “How to Get Me Wet”

Oh, wait—what and about the winning friends part? Well, I’ve known most of my buddies since preschool, and I probably won their friendship by sharing a sticky lollipop. So if you want to send any candy my way, my favorite flavor is Cherry Red.

Alison Tyler
May/June 2008

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"How to Win Friends and Influence Editors" © 2008 Alison Tyler. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Called a “Trollop with a Laptop” by East Bay Express and a “Literary Siren” by Good Vibrations, Alison Tyler is naughty and she knows it. Her sultry short stories have appeared in more than 80 anthologies including Rubber Sex (Cleis), Dirty Girls (Seal Press), and Sex for America (Harper Perennial). She is the author of more than 25 erotic novels, most recently With or Without You (Virgin), and the editor of more than 45 explicit anthologies, including J Is for Jealousy (Cleis), Naughty Fairy Tales from A to Z (Plume), and Naked Erotica(Pretty Things Press). Please visit www.alisontyler.com for more information or www.myspace.com/alisontyler if you want to be her friend.

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