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'07 Authors Insider Tips

by Louisa Burton
Formatting Your Manuscript
Scams / Choosing an Agent
Pitching Your Novel...
From The Call to Published...

Hard Business
From Greg Herren
Who Is Telling This Story?
Itís Work, Not A Hobby
Where Ideas Come From

Sexy on the Page
With Shanna Germain
Plotting Erotic Fiction
Seducing Your Muse
Creating Characters...
Description, Action & Dialogue
Fucking on Paper
Ten No-Nos of Erotic Fiction
Climactic Moments: First Draft
Critique Groups
Revising Your Erotic Story
Finding the Perfect Markets...
Just Submit Already
Rejections and Acceptances

Two Girls Kissing
With Amie M. Evans
Verb Tense Confusion
Coming Up with Story Ideas
Attend a Writersí Conference
The Fundamentals of POV
Should I Sign That?
Etiquette for Authors
Erotica is Serious Work
No Body Writes for Free...
Shameless Self Promotions
The Myth of Writer's Block

The Write Stuff
From Ashley Lister
The Time is Write
The Beautiful People
A Book by Any Other...
Synopsis: the Necessary Evil
Erotica or Porn?
Feedback Whine

2007 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister
What's it like being a writer?
An Apology to Salespeople

Get All Worked Up
With J.T. Benjamin
About Secrets
The Perfect Fuck
About Choices
The Age of Consent
The Kingmaker
Kids and Sex
The Price of Beauty
The G.O.P.
All Worked Up About Hate
Real Men

Pondering Porn
With Ann Regentin
Good Sex: A Physics Lesson
Meet Frankenstein
Thoughts on the Orgasm Gap
The Very Bloody Marys
The Doomsday Erection
Online Threesome Porn

Get All Worked Up About The Kingmaker
by J.T. Benjamin

A couple of months ago, former Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Newt Gingrich made a startling confession. Gingrich was appearing on the daily syndicated radio show of Dr. James Dobson, head of the group Focus On The Family, when he admitted to cheating on his second wife with the woman who would become his third wife in 2000.

But wait, thereís more. It seems that while Gingrich was busy being an adulterer, he was also busy trying to impeach President Bill Clinton for having an affair with famed White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

But wait, thereís more. Itís also turned up that while Gingrich was married to his FIRST wife, he was cheating on her with the woman who would become his SECOND wife, (whom he later cheated on with the woman who would become his THIRD wife).

But wait, thereís more. The former Speaker has cemented his qualifications for the Rotten Spouse Hall of Fame by actually having served his first wife with divorce papers while she was in the hospital, recovering from cancer surgery. His church had to take up a collection for his first ex and his children because he refused to pay alimony or child support. Gingrich also announced to his second wife he was ending their marriage over the telephone, on Motherís Day, shortly after sheíd been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

Despite his admitted failings, Gingrich says he has no problem reconciling his own serial adultery with having hounded President Clinton and the nation through an ugly impeachment over Clintonís infidelities.

Gingrich also says he doesnít think candidates personal lives should be subject to scrutiny in the media.

Of course he doesnít.

And yet one has to ask, what or who the hell would compel Gingrich or anyone else go on a nationally syndicated radio program and admit that marital fidelity isnít necessarily a promise, but is more of a guideline?

The answer to the ďwhoĒ part of that question is, ďDr. James Dobson,Ē on whose radio show Gingrich fessed up. The answer to the ďwhatĒ is, Gingrich wants to be President of the United States, and for him to have any reasonable shot at becoming the Republican Partyís candidate, Gingrich has to obtain the blessing of one Dr. James Dobson. Apparently, begging Dobsonís forgiveness for his indiscretions is the first step.

In case you didnít know, or knew but had simply forgotten, thereís a powerful, influential, well-funded socio-political movement in American society about which Iíve ranted on many occasions. Itís composed of Fundamentalist and evangelical Christian groups and spokesmen who use a selectively strict interpretation of the Bible to justify their political and moral philosophy. This movement holds rigidly ultra-right wing political views, and claims that their views and their relationship with God and Jesus renders them most qualified to run the country.

Iíve dubbed this group the ďHoly Terrors.Ē I donít much care for them.

Itís not their ultra-conservative, far-right wing agenda.

Itís not their advocacy of strict censorship of pornographic, erotic, and even slightly sensual media, in violation of the Constitutional principles of freedom of speech, expression and privacy.

Itís not their assertion that by virtue of their religious faith, they have the right to impose the doctrines of that faith upon the rest of us.

Itís not that they use the doctrines of that faith to justify the condemnation of homosexuality and the discriminatory treatment of homosexuals as second-class citizens.

Itís not that they use contradictory and absurdly illogical positions such as that homosexuals are both depraved degenerates and simultaneously victims of mental illness.

Itís not that they consider sex to be original sin, and that therefore the only legitimate purpose of sex is to produce offspring.

Itís not that they correspondingly try to restrict or prevent any sort of sex that DOESNíT produce offspring, or that treats sex as a pleasurable exercise.

Itís not that in pursuing their anti-privacy, anti-freedom and anti-pleasure agenda they make ludicrous, stupid, and dangerous arguments, (such as that immunizing teenaged girls against human papilloma virus, a sexually transmitted disease which causes cervical cancer and kills hundreds of thousands of women worldwide every year, is a bad idea because it might encourage promiscuity).

Itís not that their solutions to the problems of unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (such as abstinence-only sex education) are ill-advised, naÔve, downright stupid, and simply donít work.

Itís not that they pursue their agenda with a shocking hypocrisy and an equally shocking contempt for freedom of choice and the dignity of all men and women.

Itís not that their hypocrisy, stupidity and contempt corrupts and denigrates the message of the very man they claim to emulate and follow.

Itís all of the above. Itís everything. Itís the total package.

Itís the fact that these stupid ideologues manage to exert an almost complete control over the United Statesí Republican party.

Now, despite my rhetoric and my tie-dyed-in-the-hemp liberal/progressive/tree-hugger/latter-day hippie credentials, I actually LIKE many of the Republicans I know as people. Theyíre members of my immediate family and I have several close personal friends who consider George W. Bush to be a stand-up guy. Iím okay with that. They donít let my liberal beliefs get in the way of their enjoying the pleasure of my company, and I donít hold it against them that they follow the ideology of a bunch of fucking idiots. I mean, nobodyís perfect.

Nevertheless, while I find no fault with Republicans as people, I have grave concerns about the leaders of their party, and of the course they want the United States to follow.

And Dr. James Dobson is the biggest, most powerful, most ideologically influential leader of them all.

Case in point: the state of the U.S. Iraq is in chaos and the rest of the Middle East isnít far behind. The armyís near the breaking point, North Korea is sitting on at least a couple of nuclear bombs, the budget and trade deficits are at record levels, the job market sucks, the economy sucks, the housing market sucks, public school test scores are down, the infant mortality rate is up, gas prices are through the roof and the polar ice caps are melting.

Despite all these difficulties, what is the most critical issue facing Republicans when theyíre trying to decide which candidate to nominate for the 2008 race?

The fact that none of the partyís top candidates has a spotless record when it comes to personal morality and to Dobsonís checklist of acceptable credentials. Rudy Giulianiís been married three times, (including to his own cousin), and heís appeared in public in drag. John McCainís been married three times. Mitt Romneyís only had one wife, but heís a Mormon, which is a disqualification all by itself. None of these candidates, in Dobsonís eyes, meet his exacting standards.

Fred Thompson, former U.S. Senator and current ďLaw And OrderĒ actor, has been making noises about joining the Republican group of candidates. Nope, according to Dr. Dobson. In a March 30, 2007 interview, Dobson said, ďEveryone knows heís conservative and has come out strongly for the things the pro-family movement stands for, but I donít think heís a Christian; at least thatís my impression.Ē This mustíve come as a big shock to the Church of Christ, of which Thompson is a member.

As the 2008 Presidential race heats up, weíve already seen the Republican candidates jockeying for position on Dobsonís list of acceptable qualifications. That means that instead of focusing on issues such as war, the economy, social justice and public health, theyíre obsessing about sex, sex, sex.

Every Republican candidate has condemned gay rights. Every Republican candidate has opposed a womanís right to choose. Every Republican candidate has begun toeing the Dobson line when it comes to sex education and limiting freedom of expression when it comes to pornographic or even slightly erotic media.

Every Republican candidate has been squarely planting his lips on Dr. James Dobsonís ass.

One would hope that any Presidential candidate, Republican, Democrat, or whatever, would believe in respecting the concept of individual liberty when it comes to sexual issues. That whatever consenting adults choose to do behind the bedroom door is their own business and none of that of the government. One would hope that any Presidential candidate would want to avoid pandering to a single, militantly far-out-there core group of fanaticists.

One would hope. But then, one would hope no candidate would be willing to denigrate himself and publicly embarrass himself for the sake of the approval of a single ďkingmakerĒ such as Dr. James Dobson.

One would hope.

J.T. Benjamin
May/June 2007

"All Worked Up" © 2007 J.T. Benjamin. All rights reserved.

About the Author:† J.T.Benjamin says, "I'm a generalist. I write about what interests me, which is just about everything." His resume reflects the diversity of his interests. He's been a disk jockey, insurance salesman, private investigator, journalist, college professor, child advocate, political activist, truckdriver, thief,, lawyer, Indian Chief. He's currently trying to start a hippie commune in the Denver/Boulder area.
Email:† J.T. Benjamin

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