Erotica Readers & Writers Association
Home | Erotic Books | Authors Resources | Inside The Erotic Mind | Erotica Gallery
Adult Movies | Sex Toys | Erotic Music | Email Discussion List | Links

'08 Authors Insider Tips

Everything About Epublishing
by Angela James
Epublishing: A Different Way
Choosing an Epublisher
Your Milage May Vary
Understand Your Contract!
Reasonable Expectations

by Louisa Burton
The Publishing Biz
Critiquing: To Give and ...
Commerical vs. Literary...
Antiformalism for Fun &...
So You Want to Write a Novel
The Story Idea
Planning Your Novel...

The Write Stuff
by Ashley Lister
5 Steps to Success
Opening Passages
Let's Get Critical
Writer's Block
Learning Lessons

Two Girls Kissing
by Amie M. Evans
Be a Finisher ...
Listen to Your Characters
Conferences: Act Now ...
Starting an Erotic Story
Exercises & Writing Prompts
Revising & Rewriting
Copy Editing
The Manuscript Critique
How to Submit Your Work
Reading as Craft

Guest Appearances

Adventures in e-Publishing
by Lisabet Sarai

For the Love of Man
by Laura Baumbach

How to...Influence Editors
by Alison Tyler

Marketing your e-Book
by Brenna Lyons

2008 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister
Role Play
Busy Doing Nothing
Picture of a Fish & Chip...
What I Did With My Summer

Cooking Up A Storey
by Donna George Storey
Naughty Cookies...
Tie Me Up, Please …
The Smut-Writer’s Holiday
Never Trust the Narrator ...
Compare and Contrast
Following the Pen
Naked at the Farmers Market
Im Easy, But Im No Slut
Good Girl Gone Bad
Pleasures of the Dark Side
Slow, Spare and Sexy

Get All Worked Up
with J.T. Benjamin
Raising Daughters
Jamie Lynn
The Good Old Days
Election '08
Traditional Marriage
Campaign 2008
Free Will

Pondering Porn
with Ann Regentin
Masturbating on SSRIs
Sex and Disability
Besides Ourselves
Adjusting our Contrast

Sex Is All Metaphors
by Jean Roberta
Sex Is All Metaphors
Turn-ons and Squicks
Sexual Truth
Fickle Muse
Porn, Erotica & Romance

Provocative Interviews

Between the Lines
with Ashley Lister
Alison Tyler
Ashley Lister
Debra Hyde
Donna George Storey
Jeremy Edwards
Kristina Wright
Rachel Kramer Bussel

Erotic Hot Spots
by William S. Dean
Interview with Tilly Greene
Interview with Devyn Quinn

Getting Graphic
with William S. Dean
New Times for Readers...
The Future in Words ...
Interview with Fantagraphics

On Writing Erotica

The Accidental Pornographer
by Lisabet Sarai

The End of Innocence
by Lisabet Sarai

Get Them Off in High Style
Helena Settimana

So, You Want To Write Erotica?
by Hanne Blank

Web Gems
Hot Movies For Her

Ashley Lister Submits
                                        Diary of an Erotic Fiction Writer

Picture of a Fish and Chip Shop

I’ve been tinkering with my f-stop over the past couple of weeks. And I’ve also been playing with my new camera. Well, I say new. I had an idea that involved taking a picture. I asked my wife if she had a camera I could borrow and she presented me with one of the gadgets she wasn’t using. The kindness of the gesture was tempered by the words, “You can have this one. It’s shit.”

Naturally she modified that and tried to raise my spirits. “It’s not really shit,” she explained. “What I mean is it’s simple enough for someone like you to operate.” You can always rely on your life-partner to help keep your feet firmly on the ground.

But I appreciated the gesture and she was right about the camera’s simplicity. It has a special feature to correct against camera shake. As I drink an average of twenty five coffees a day (one for each hour I’m awake) my hands do tend to shake a little. Being totally honest, even while in repose, I look like a restless break-dancer with Parkinson’s disease. People say it’s disconcerting being near me because I look like I’m sitting in an earthquake zone. This is why I use a Zippo lighter for the cigarettes. When I was using matches I’d usually shaken the damned thing out before I could get the flame to my cigarette.

So I’ve been playing with the camera for the last few weeks and getting some very interesting shots. Partly this has been done as an exercise to help with the writing. I’m currently working on a series of poems and I wanted a collection of concrete images in front of me to help stimulate my imagination.

It’s not hard to acquire erotic images in my home town. I live in the seaside resort of Blackpool and the tourists are reluctant to wear clothes regardless of the weather or their bodies. Yesterday, during a torrential thunderstorm, I got pictures of tourists wearing bikinis and raincoats. The women were no better dressed either.

But I am constantly searching for new images that will stimulate my muse. I’m looking for character and irony that make me think. Big boobs are also appealing. However, when I saw the drunken tramp yesterday, I immediately reached to remove my lens cap.

“What the hell are you doing?” asked my son.

“I want a picture,” I hissed. I don’t know why I was keeping my voice so low. The tramp was far enough away from us to be out of earshot. And he had that deranged look in his eyes that suggested he wouldn’t be able to hear us above the voices inside his head. “I want a picture of that tramp.”

“He’s drunk and he looks dangerous,” my son observed.

“That’s why I want the picture,” I told him. “Doesn’t his face have character?”

“It looks more like his face has syphilis to me,” my son said critically.

Swigging his bottle of cider, and shouting a cheery, “Fuck off, yah cocksuckers,” at a passing couple, the tramp continued to saunter/stagger in our direction.

I ripped the lens cap off.

My son put a steadying hand on my arm. “He looks like he’s dangerous and he smells like he’s soiled himself,” he said firmly. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I’ve seen you date worse,” I replied cheerfully.

I was wondering if I could offer money to the tramp in exchange for the picture, and then decided against this idea. Not only did I think the prospect of money would spoil the natural misanthropy in the tramp’s face—I also didn’t think I could afford his rates.

And that’s another issue: if you’re saying to a tramp, “Can you break a twenty?” it doesn’t look like you’re a really caring member of society. And I was also worried, if he could break a twenty, the chances were that he might have used the notes he gave back for wiping.

I raised the camera to my eye and prepared to take my shot.

“This is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” my son complained.

I told him it almost certainly wasn’t the dumbest idea, and then mumbled something about planned parentage. I’m not sure he was fully listening. Not that I cared by that point. The tramp was close enough so I could see every grain of character in his weather-worn features. His hair was awry; his cheeks were ruddy and beard-scrubbed; his red-rimmed eyes rattled manically in their sockets. He clutched his bottle of cider with defensive ferocity.

And I wondered, would it be appropriate to shout, “Smile and say ‘Cheese!’”

The tramp turned away before I could take the picture. Admittedly, I could have taken the shot of the back of his head but—compositionally—that wouldn’t have looked very interesting. He then went on to piss against the side of a nearby litterbin.

I raised the camera again but my son was more insistent this time.

“Come on,” he demanded. “Let’s go and take pictures of skateboarders falling over. That always makes you smile.”

Which was true.

And, on the way to the skateboarding park, I got a neat photograph of a poster for a lapdancing bar situated above a fish and chip shop. I thought the juxtaposition within the image suggested irony in the clash of contemporary and traditional cultures. And it had a woman’s naked ass in the shot, so that was good too.

All of which led to the composition of the following poem:

Ode to a Fish & Chip Shop

I’d like to eat your haddock, please
May I then see your menu’s best bits
And, once I’ve finally sated my appetite
I’ll go downstairs for some fish and some chips.

Ashley Lister
July 2008

Read more of Ashley's Diary of an Erotic Fiction Writer in ERWA 2008 Archive.

"Ashley Lister Submits" © 2008 Ashley Lister. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Ashley Lister is a UK author responsible for more than two-dozen erotic novels written under a variety of pseudonyms.His most recent work, Swingers: True Confessions from Today's Modern Swinging Scene (Virgin Books; ISBN: 0753511355), a non-fiction book recounting the exploits of UK swingers, is his first title published under his own name.
Ashleys non-fiction has appeared in a variety of magazines, including Forum, Chapter & Verse and The International Journal of Erotica. Nexus, Chimera and Silver Moon have published his full-length fiction, with shorter stories appearing in anthologies edited by Maxim Jakubowski, Rachel Kramer Bussel and Mitzi Szereto. He is very proud to be a regular contributor to ERWA.
Websites: /

  E-mail this page

Search ERWA Website:

Copyright 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.

'08 Movie Reviews

Almost Perfect
Review by Oranje

The Fold
Review by Ashley Lister

Review by Spooky

Review by Spooky

'08 Book Reviews


Best Bisexual Women's Erotica
Review by Ashley Lister

Best Fantastic Erotica
Review by Ashley Lister

Best Women's Erotica '08
Review by Ashley Lister

Bound Brits (ebook)
Review by Ashley Lister

Deep Inside: Extreme ...
Review by Cervo

Dirty Girls
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Hide and Seek
Review by Ashley Lister

Hurts So Good
Review by Ashley Lister

J is for Jealousy
Review by Ashley Lister

K is for Kink
Review by Ashley Lister

Lust Bites
Review by Ashley Lister

Open for Business
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Review by Lisabet Sarai

Rubber Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Rubber Sex
Review by Victoria Blisse

Seriously Sexy
Review by Ashley Lister

Sex & Candy
Review by Ashley Lister

The Shadow of a... (poetry)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Review by Victoria Blisse

Tasting Her
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Tasting Him
Review by Ashley Lister

Tasting Him
Review by Kathleen Bradean

White Flames
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Yes, Ma'am: Male Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Yes, Sir: Female Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn


The Art of Melinoe
Review by Ashley Lister

Demon by Day
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Gemini Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

Gothic Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

The Hidden Grotto Series
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The House of Blood
Review by Lisabet Sarai

In Too Deep
Review by Ashley Lister

In Too Deep
Review by Victoria Blisse

Review by Donna George Storey

Review by Victoria Blisse

One Breath at a Time
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Out of the Shadows (ebook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Review by Ashley Lister

Review by Rose B. Thorny

Seduce Me
Review by Ashley Lister

Seduced by the Storm
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Serve the People!
Review by Donna G. Storey

Signed, Sealed and Delivered
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Sunfire (eBook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Templar Prize
Review by Angelika Devlyn

The Wicked Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Wild Kingdom
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Gay Erotica

Review by Vincent Diamond

Best Gay Romance '08
Review by Vincent Diamond

Hard Hats
Review by Vincent Diamond

Review by Kathleen Bradean

Lesbian Erotica

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Donna George Storey

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Ashley Lister

The Night Watch
Review by Lisabet Sarai


America Unzipped
Review by Rob Hardy

Best Sex Writing '08
Review by Rob Hardy

Bonk: The Curious Coupling
Review by Rob Hardy

The Book of Love
Review by Rob Hardy

Casanova: Actor Lover ...
Review by Rob Hardy

Dishonorable Passions
Review by Rob Hardy

Flagrante Delicto (photos)
Review by Jack Gilbert

The Flesh Press
Review by Rob Hardy

Geisha, Harlot, Strangler, Star
Review by Donna G. Storey

The Humble Little Condom
Review by Rob Hardy

Instant Orgasm (sex guide)
Review by Ashley Lister

Man O Man! Writing M/M...
Review by Vincent Diamond

The Not So Invisible Woman
Review by Ashley Lister

Swingers: Female...
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Who's Been Sleeping in...
Review by Rob Hardy