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'08 Authors Insider Tips


Everything About Epublishing
by Angela James
Epublishing: A Different Way
Choosing an Epublisher
Your Milage May Vary
Understand Your Contract!
Reasonable Expectations


FictionCraft
by Louisa Burton
The Publishing Biz
Critiquing: To Give and ...
Commerical vs. Literary...
Antiformalism for Fun &...
So You Want to Write a Novel
The Story Idea
Planning Your Novel...


The Write Stuff
by Ashley Lister
5 Steps to Success
Inspirational
Opening Passages
Let's Get Critical
Writer's Block
Learning Lessons


Two Girls Kissing
by Amie M. Evans
Be a Finisher ...
Listen to Your Characters
Conferences: Act Now ...
Starting an Erotic Story
Exercises & Writing Prompts
Revising & Rewriting
Copy Editing
The Manuscript Critique
How to Submit Your Work
Reading as Craft


Guest Appearances

Adventures in e-Publishing
by Lisabet Sarai

For the Love of Man
by Laura Baumbach

How to...Influence Editors
by Alison Tyler

Marketing your e-Book
by Brenna Lyons


2008 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister
Role Play
Busy Doing Nothing
Picture of a Fish & Chip...
What I Did With My Summer


Cooking Up A Storey
by Donna George Storey
Naughty Cookies...
Tie Me Up, Please …
The Smut-Writer’s Holiday
Never Trust the Narrator ...
Compare and Contrast
Following the Pen
Naked at the Farmers Market
Im Easy, But Im No Slut
Good Girl Gone Bad
Pleasures of the Dark Side
Slow, Spare and Sexy


Get All Worked Up
with J.T. Benjamin
Raising Daughters
Jamie Lynn
Utopias
Lust
The Good Old Days
Election '08
Traditional Marriage
Campaign 2008
Free Will


Pondering Porn
with Ann Regentin
Masturbating on SSRIs
Sex and Disability
Besides Ourselves
Adjusting our Contrast


Sex Is All Metaphors
by Jean Roberta
Sex Is All Metaphors
Turn-ons and Squicks
Sexual Truth
Fickle Muse
Porn, Erotica & Romance


Provocative Interviews

Between the Lines
with Ashley Lister
Alison Tyler
Ashley Lister
Debra Hyde
Donna George Storey
Jeremy Edwards
Kristina Wright
Rachel Kramer Bussel


Erotic Hot Spots
by William S. Dean
Interview with Tilly Greene
Interview with Devyn Quinn


Getting Graphic
with William S. Dean
New Times for Readers...
The Future in Words ...
Interview with Fantagraphics


On Writing Erotica

The Accidental Pornographer
by Lisabet Sarai

The End of Innocence
by Lisabet Sarai

Get Them Off in High Style
Helena Settimana

So, You Want To Write Erotica?
by Hanne Blank


Web Gems
Hot Movies For Her

Ashley Lister Submits
                                        Diary of an Erotic Fiction Writer


Picture of a Fish and Chip Shop



I’ve been tinkering with my f-stop over the past couple of weeks. And I’ve also been playing with my new camera. Well, I say new. I had an idea that involved taking a picture. I asked my wife if she had a camera I could borrow and she presented me with one of the gadgets she wasn’t using. The kindness of the gesture was tempered by the words, “You can have this one. It’s shit.”

Naturally she modified that and tried to raise my spirits. “It’s not really shit,” she explained. “What I mean is it’s simple enough for someone like you to operate.” You can always rely on your life-partner to help keep your feet firmly on the ground.

But I appreciated the gesture and she was right about the camera’s simplicity. It has a special feature to correct against camera shake. As I drink an average of twenty five coffees a day (one for each hour I’m awake) my hands do tend to shake a little. Being totally honest, even while in repose, I look like a restless break-dancer with Parkinson’s disease. People say it’s disconcerting being near me because I look like I’m sitting in an earthquake zone. This is why I use a Zippo lighter for the cigarettes. When I was using matches I’d usually shaken the damned thing out before I could get the flame to my cigarette.

So I’ve been playing with the camera for the last few weeks and getting some very interesting shots. Partly this has been done as an exercise to help with the writing. I’m currently working on a series of poems and I wanted a collection of concrete images in front of me to help stimulate my imagination.

It’s not hard to acquire erotic images in my home town. I live in the seaside resort of Blackpool and the tourists are reluctant to wear clothes regardless of the weather or their bodies. Yesterday, during a torrential thunderstorm, I got pictures of tourists wearing bikinis and raincoats. The women were no better dressed either.

But I am constantly searching for new images that will stimulate my muse. I’m looking for character and irony that make me think. Big boobs are also appealing. However, when I saw the drunken tramp yesterday, I immediately reached to remove my lens cap.

“What the hell are you doing?” asked my son.

“I want a picture,” I hissed. I don’t know why I was keeping my voice so low. The tramp was far enough away from us to be out of earshot. And he had that deranged look in his eyes that suggested he wouldn’t be able to hear us above the voices inside his head. “I want a picture of that tramp.”

“He’s drunk and he looks dangerous,” my son observed.

“That’s why I want the picture,” I told him. “Doesn’t his face have character?”

“It looks more like his face has syphilis to me,” my son said critically.

Swigging his bottle of cider, and shouting a cheery, “Fuck off, yah cocksuckers,” at a passing couple, the tramp continued to saunter/stagger in our direction.

I ripped the lens cap off.

My son put a steadying hand on my arm. “He looks like he’s dangerous and he smells like he’s soiled himself,” he said firmly. “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“I’ve seen you date worse,” I replied cheerfully.

I was wondering if I could offer money to the tramp in exchange for the picture, and then decided against this idea. Not only did I think the prospect of money would spoil the natural misanthropy in the tramp’s face—I also didn’t think I could afford his rates.

And that’s another issue: if you’re saying to a tramp, “Can you break a twenty?” it doesn’t look like you’re a really caring member of society. And I was also worried, if he could break a twenty, the chances were that he might have used the notes he gave back for wiping.

I raised the camera to my eye and prepared to take my shot.

“This is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” my son complained.

I told him it almost certainly wasn’t the dumbest idea, and then mumbled something about planned parentage. I’m not sure he was fully listening. Not that I cared by that point. The tramp was close enough so I could see every grain of character in his weather-worn features. His hair was awry; his cheeks were ruddy and beard-scrubbed; his red-rimmed eyes rattled manically in their sockets. He clutched his bottle of cider with defensive ferocity.

And I wondered, would it be appropriate to shout, “Smile and say ‘Cheese!’”

The tramp turned away before I could take the picture. Admittedly, I could have taken the shot of the back of his head but—compositionally—that wouldn’t have looked very interesting. He then went on to piss against the side of a nearby litterbin.

I raised the camera again but my son was more insistent this time.

“Come on,” he demanded. “Let’s go and take pictures of skateboarders falling over. That always makes you smile.”

Which was true.

And, on the way to the skateboarding park, I got a neat photograph of a poster for a lapdancing bar situated above a fish and chip shop. I thought the juxtaposition within the image suggested irony in the clash of contemporary and traditional cultures. And it had a woman’s naked ass in the shot, so that was good too.

All of which led to the composition of the following poem:

Ode to a Fish & Chip Shop

I’d like to eat your haddock, please
May I then see your menu’s best bits
And, once I’ve finally sated my appetite
I’ll go downstairs for some fish and some chips.

Ashley Lister
July 2008


Read more of Ashley's Diary of an Erotic Fiction Writer in ERWA 2008 Archive.

______
"Ashley Lister Submits" © 2008 Ashley Lister. All rights reserved.

About the Author: Ashley Lister is a UK author responsible for more than two-dozen erotic novels written under a variety of pseudonyms.His most recent work, Swingers: True Confessions from Today's Modern Swinging Scene (Virgin Books; ISBN: 0753511355), a non-fiction book recounting the exploits of UK swingers, is his first title published under his own name.
Ashleys non-fiction has appeared in a variety of magazines, including Forum, Chapter & Verse and The International Journal of Erotica. Nexus, Chimera and Silver Moon have published his full-length fiction, with shorter stories appearing in anthologies edited by Maxim Jakubowski, Rachel Kramer Bussel and Mitzi Szereto. He is very proud to be a regular contributor to ERWA.
Websites: www.ashleylister.co.uk / ashleylister.blogspot.com



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'08 Movie Reviews

Almost Perfect
Review by Oranje

The Fold
Review by Ashley Lister

Two
Review by Spooky

Fallen
Review by Spooky

'08 Book Reviews

Anthologies

Best Bisexual Women's Erotica
Review by Ashley Lister

Best Fantastic Erotica
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Best Women's Erotica '08
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Bound Brits (ebook)
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Deep Inside: Extreme ...
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Dirty Girls
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Hide and Seek
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Hurts So Good
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J is for Jealousy
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K is for Kink
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Lust Bites
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Open for Business
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Possession
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Rubber Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Rubber Sex
Review by Victoria Blisse

Seriously Sexy
Review by Ashley Lister

Sex & Candy
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The Shadow of a... (poetry)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Spanked
Review by Victoria Blisse

Tasting Her
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Tasting Him
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Tasting Him
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White Flames
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Yes, Ma'am: Male Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Yes, Sir: Female Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Novels

The Art of Melinoe
Review by Ashley Lister

Demon by Day
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Gemini Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

Gothic Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

The Hidden Grotto Series
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The House of Blood
Review by Lisabet Sarai

In Too Deep
Review by Ashley Lister

In Too Deep
Review by Victoria Blisse

Incognito
Review by Donna George Storey

Nicholas
Review by Victoria Blisse

One Breath at a Time
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Out of the Shadows (ebook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Phantasmagoria
Review by Ashley Lister

Reckless
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Seduce Me
Review by Ashley Lister

Seduced by the Storm
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Serve the People!
Review by Donna G. Storey

Signed, Sealed and Delivered
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Sunfire (eBook)
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Templar Prize
Review by Angelika Devlyn

The Wicked Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Wild Kingdom
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Gay Erotica

Backdraft
Review by Vincent Diamond

Best Gay Romance '08
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Hard Hats
Review by Vincent Diamond

Leathermen
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Lesbian Erotica

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Donna George Storey

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Ashley Lister

The Night Watch
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Non-Fiction

America Unzipped
Review by Rob Hardy

Best Sex Writing '08
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Bonk: The Curious Coupling
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The Book of Love
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Casanova: Actor Lover ...
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Dishonorable Passions
Review by Rob Hardy

Flagrante Delicto (photos)
Review by Jack Gilbert

The Flesh Press
Review by Rob Hardy

Geisha, Harlot, Strangler, Star
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The Humble Little Condom
Review by Rob Hardy

Instant Orgasm (sex guide)
Review by Ashley Lister

Man O Man! Writing M/M...
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The Not So Invisible Woman
Review by Ashley Lister

Swingers: Female...
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Who's Been Sleeping in...
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