Erotica Readers & Writers Association
Home | Erotic Books | Authors Resources | Inside The Erotic Mind | Erotica Gallery
Adult Movies | Sex Toys | Erotic Music | Email Discussion List | Links

'08 Authors Insider Tips

Everything About Epublishing
by Angela James
Epublishing: A Different Way
Choosing an Epublisher
Your Milage May Vary
Understand Your Contract!
Reasonable Expectations

by Louisa Burton
The Publishing Biz
Critiquing: To Give and ...
Commerical vs. Literary...
Antiformalism for Fun &...
So You Want to Write a Novel
The Story Idea
Planning Your Novel...

The Write Stuff
by Ashley Lister
5 Steps to Success
Opening Passages
Let's Get Critical
Writer's Block
Learning Lessons

Two Girls Kissing
by Amie M. Evans
Be a Finisher ...
Listen to Your Characters
Conferences: Act Now ...
Starting an Erotic Story
Exercises & Writing Prompts
Revising & Rewriting
Copy Editing
The Manuscript Critique
How to Submit Your Work
Reading as Craft

Guest Appearances

Adventures in e-Publishing
by Lisabet Sarai

For the Love of Man
by Laura Baumbach

How to...Influence Editors
by Alison Tyler

Marketing your e-Book
by Brenna Lyons

2008 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister
Role Play
Busy Doing Nothing
Picture of a Fish & Chip...
What I Did With My Summer

Cooking Up A Storey
by Donna George Storey
Naughty Cookies...
Tie Me Up, Please …
The Smut-Writer’s Holiday
Never Trust the Narrator ...
Compare and Contrast
Following the Pen
Naked at the Farmers Market
Iím Easy, But Iím No Slut
Good Girl Gone Bad
Pleasures of the Dark Side
Slow, Spare and Sexy

Get All Worked Up
with J.T. Benjamin
Raising Daughters
Jamie Lynn
The Good Old Days
Election '08
Traditional Marriage
Campaign 2008
Free Will

Pondering Porn
with Ann Regentin
Masturbating on SSRIs
Sex and Disability
Besides Ourselves
Adjusting our Contrast

Sex Is All Metaphors
by Jean Roberta
Sex Is All Metaphors
Turn-ons and Squicks
Sexual Truth
Fickle Muse
Porn, Erotica & Romance

Provocative Interviews

Between the Lines
with Ashley Lister
Alison Tyler
Ashley Lister
Debra Hyde
Donna George Storey
Jeremy Edwards
Kristina Wright
Rachel Kramer Bussel

Erotic Hot Spots
by William S. Dean
Interview with Tilly Greene
Interview with Devyn Quinn

Getting Graphic
with William S. Dean
New Times for Readers...
The Future in Words ...
Interview with Fantagraphics

On Writing Erotica

The Accidental Pornographer
by Lisabet Sarai

The End of Innocence
by Lisabet Sarai

Get Them Off in High Style
Helena Settimana

So, You Want To Write Erotica?
by Hanne Blank

Web Gems
Hot Movies For Her

Swingers: Female Confidential

by Ashley Lister

Book Review by Lisabet Sarai


Swingers: Female Confidential

Ashley Lister is a prolific author of erotic fiction. Writing under a variety of pseudonyms, he produces more books in a year than I do in a decade. His short stories have appeared in dozens of acclaimed anthologies, and his full-length novels are renowned for their lively, entertaining treatment of various fetishes.

It turns out that Mr. Lister is an accomplished master of non-fiction as well. His first book on the U.K swinging scene, Swingers: True Confessions from Today's Swinging Scene,published in 2007, explored the desires and practices of swingers using personal interviews and integrative commentary. The book received highly positive reviews and a great deal of media attention, at least in the U.K.

Swingers: Female Confidential is in some sense a sequel to the earlier volume. It uses the same format: lengthy extracts from first person interviews with swingers, interspersed with interpretation and observations by the author. This volume focuses on the experiences of women who swing. As the author explains in the introduction, this focus derives from the questions he received on the first book. It appears that non-swingers find it difficult to believe that women would actively seek out and enjoy the culture of swinging. A common assumption is that women are pressured into swinging by their partners, and that they participate reluctantly. One of Mr. Lister’s objectives is to debunk this myth, and he does so quite effectively.

Mr. Lister lets us hear the varied voices of the women whom he interviewed: the women who like to be watched; the ones who crave sexual interaction with other women; the ones who seek the extremes of “greedy girl nights”, where they might take a dozen men in one evenings. These women range in age from their twenties to their sixties. Their socioeconomic backgrounds, education, and marital history vary widely. But they all have something in common: they enjoy sex. Furthermore, they are comfortable asking for what they want, as well as setting boundaries.

At the same time, one of the fascinating aspects of the book is how different Mr. Lister’s informants are in their desires. Some women  enjoy “same-room swaps”, where they can watch, and even participate, as their partners get involve with another women. Others prefer to swap and then retreat to separate rooms, so as not to be distracted from the experience of a novel lover. Some women want to mix sex and friendship, and develop close relationships with the couples with whom they swing. Others work hard to keep their swinging and their daily life as separate as possible.

I could not help but be impressed by the level of honesty and disclosure these women are willing to offer. Clearly, they trust the author with their “dirty secrets”. I wonder how many of them had read his previous book.  I must say that he treats their confessions with discretion and respect. One gets the notion that Mr. Lister admires these women for having the courage to act on their desires. The reader comes to feel the same way.

Is Swingers: Female Confidential a sexy book? Yes, in the same way that gossiping about sex with your close friends can be sexy. The overall topic induces a buzz. The scenarios described are not as graphic as what you’d find in one of Mr. Lister’s novels, but hey—it’s fun to think about this sort of thing.

I will admit that I’ve done a bit of swinging myself (though not in the U.K.). All in all, it didn’t provide what my husband and I were seeking, which was a long term intimate relationship with another couple, but it had its good points. One of the things that I enjoy most is the sexually charged atmosphere at a party or club. Things that are forbidden elsewhere are permitted, even encouraged. You can be as outrageous as you’ve always dreamed. You can touch, and be touched, and still feel safe. You can ogle the other guests and know that they won’t be offended. You can let yourself be ogled in return, basking in the knowledge that others think you’re attractive. The air is electric; the night is filled with possibilities; even if nothing much happens, you still end up jazzed and aroused.

Reading Swingers: Female Confidential feels rather similar.

Lisabet Sarai
October 2008

Swingers: Female Confidential
(Virgin Books; September 16, 2008; ISBN-10: 0753513439)
Available at:  / Amazon UK

© 2008 Lisabet Sarai. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

About the Author:
Lisabet Sarai has been writing ever since she learned how to hold a pencil. She is the author of three erotic novels, Raw Silk, Incognito, and Ruby's Rules; co-editor, with S.F. Mayfair, of the anthology Sacred Exchange† (Blue Moon); and editor of Cream, the Best of the Erotica Readers & Writers Association.
Visit her website, Lisabet Sarai's Fantasy Factory for more information and samples of her writing.
Join Lisabet's List on Yahoo for exciting chat, contests, and up-to-date information on publications and events:

  E-mail this page

Search ERWA Website:

Copyright 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.

'08 Movie Reviews

Almost Perfect
Review by Oranje

The Fold
Review by Ashley Lister

Review by Spooky

Review by Spooky

'08 Book Reviews


Best Bisexual Women's Erotica
Review by Ashley Lister

Best Fantastic Erotica
Review by Ashley Lister

Best Women's Erotica '08
Review by Ashley Lister

Bound Brits (ebook)
Review by Ashley Lister

Deep Inside: Extreme ...
Review by Cervo

Dirty Girls
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Hide and Seek
Review by Ashley Lister

Hurts So Good
Review by Ashley Lister

J is for Jealousy
Review by Ashley Lister

K is for Kink
Review by Ashley Lister

Lust Bites
Review by Ashley Lister

Open for Business
Review by Rose B. Thorny

Review by Lisabet Sarai

Rubber Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Rubber Sex
Review by Victoria Blisse

Seriously Sexy
Review by Ashley Lister

Sex & Candy
Review by Ashley Lister

The Shadow of a... (poetry)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Review by Victoria Blisse

Tasting Her
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Tasting Him
Review by Ashley Lister

Tasting Him
Review by Kathleen Bradean

White Flames
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Yes, Ma'am: Male Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Yes, Sir: Female Submission
Review by Angelika Devlyn


The Art of Melinoe
Review by Ashley Lister

Demon by Day
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Gemini Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

Gothic Heat
Review by Ashley Lister

The Hidden Grotto Series
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The House of Blood
Review by Lisabet Sarai

In Too Deep
Review by Ashley Lister

In Too Deep
Review by Victoria Blisse

Review by Donna George Storey

Review by Victoria Blisse

One Breath at a Time
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Out of the Shadows (ebook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Review by Ashley Lister

Review by Rose B. Thorny

Seduce Me
Review by Ashley Lister

Seduced by the Storm
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Serve the People!
Review by Donna G. Storey

Signed, Sealed and Delivered
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Sunfire (eBook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Templar Prize
Review by Angelika Devlyn

The Wicked Sex
Review by Ashley Lister

Wild Kingdom
Review by Angelika Devlyn

Gay Erotica

Review by Vincent Diamond

Best Gay Romance '08
Review by Vincent Diamond

Hard Hats
Review by Vincent Diamond

Review by Kathleen Bradean

Lesbian Erotica

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Donna George Storey

Best Lesbian Erotica '08
Review by Ashley Lister

The Night Watch
Review by Lisabet Sarai


America Unzipped
Review by Rob Hardy

Best Sex Writing '08
Review by Rob Hardy

Bonk: The Curious Coupling
Review by Rob Hardy

The Book of Love
Review by Rob Hardy

Casanova: Actor Lover ...
Review by Rob Hardy

Dishonorable Passions
Review by Rob Hardy

Flagrante Delicto (photos)
Review by Jack Gilbert

The Flesh Press
Review by Rob Hardy

Geisha, Harlot, Strangler, Star
Review by Donna G. Storey

The Humble Little Condom
Review by Rob Hardy

Instant Orgasm (sex guide)
Review by Ashley Lister

Man O Man! Writing M/M...
Review by Vincent Diamond

The Not So Invisible Woman
Review by Ashley Lister

Swingers: Female...
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Who's Been Sleeping in...
Review by Rob Hardy