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'09 Authors Insider Tips

Everything About Epublishing
by Angela James
Digital Publishing & Print
Common Myths of Epublishing
Ebook Formats and Devices


FictionCraft
by Louisa Burton
Compelling Characters
Point of View, Part I
Point of View, Part II
Learning to Love Conflict
Story Structure
Keep ‘em Guessing
Keep it Simple
Keep Your Writing Real
The Importance of Pacing


Literary Streetwalker
by M. Christian
New World of Publishing
To Blog Or Not To Blog
Meeting & Making Friends
Thinking Beyond Sex
Selling Books
Walking the Line
e-book, e-publisher, e-fun
Still More E-book Fun


Shameless Self-Promotion
by Donna George Storey
Our Journey Begins
Pitches and Bios
Websites, Blogs & Readers
Publicists, Press Kits and...
Viva the Internet
Adventures in Cyberspace
Promoting In the Flesh
Make Your Own Movie
Bigger is Better
Looking Back, Planning Ahead


Two Girls Kissing
by Amie M. Evans
Questions to Ask Yourself...
Tough All Over


The Write Stuff
by Ashley Lister
Ideas
Practice Makes Prefect
5 Books for Fiction Authors
Poetry In Motions
Six Serving Men
Ashley Lister is Anal
Stealing Ideas
Celebrating Poetry


2009 Smutters Lounge

Ashley Lister Submits
by Ashley Lister
Myths
Graduation


Cooking Up A Storey
by Donna George Storey
A Year of Living Shamelessly
Adultery, Exhibitionism ...
John Updike Made Me Do It ...
Story Soup: Forbidden ...
Lessons from Amazon
Naked Lunches ...
Erotic Alchemy
Secrets of Seduction
Are You a “Real” Writer?
Don’t Fondle My Sentence


Cracking Foxy
with Robert Buckley
The Passionate Taphophile
Havens on Earth
A Knight Without Armor
Jail-Baiting
Magic Carpet Rides
Getting Hammered
Keep It Quiet
Hang Around for a Spell


Get All Worked Up
with J.T. Benjamin
Worked Up About Why
Worked Up About Why, Part II
All Worked Up About Porn
The Catholic Church
Purity Movement
The National Crisis
The Future
About Homosexuality
Public Indiscretions


Pondering Porn
with Ann Regentin
Premature Ejaculation
Auctioning Off What?


Sex Is All Metaphors
by Jean Roberta
Who's Who Around the Table
Retro-Shame
Ritual Sex
Mixed Legacy
The Spectrum of Consent
Drawing the Line
Marriage without the Hype
The Distracting Smirk
Innocent Guns
Gardens of Earthly Delights


Provocative Interviews

Between the Lines
with Ashley Lister
Anneke Jacob
D L King
Kristina Lloyd
Lisabet Sarai
Mitzi Szereto
Portia Da Costa
Shanna Germain
Sommer Marsden
Susan DiPlacido


Guest Appearances

Marketing a Self-Published Novel
by Jeanne Ainslie

Cracking Foxy

by Robert Buckley

A Knight Without Armor

 

Richard Boone

When did crude become cool? When we began to exalt morons and bores? Somewhere, perhaps, in the morass that produced Beavis and Butthead, or the first time Howard Stern demanded, “Show me your tits!” And that’s about as original as he ever got or is likely to get, folks.

We just relieved ourselves of a president who thought the fart joke was the pinnacle of humor.

Punk’d, pimp’d and trick’d—I suppose the apostrophe is the mark of one too hip to use an ‘e.’ But, does anyone remember when we aspired to class?

Just as most of us who grew up at the tail end of the Twentieth Century, my heroes and role models were based on characters from the movies and television. I arrived right in the middle of that century, bridging generations that earlier admired Bogie and Cary Grant and later embraced Sean Connery and Harrison Ford.

And while my heroes have not always been cowboys, they were for a while, and I recall there were plenty around for a boy to choose from. Warner Bros. studios harbored a TV stable of reliable western characters: Cheyenne, Bronco Lane, Sugarfoot, and The Lawman.

There was the Lone Ranger, of course; he had a great back story. The actor who played the Range Rider, Jock Mahoney, looked too much like a melancholy uncle of mine. Roy Rogers always disturbed me on a primal level; instinct, I suppose, later in life it occurred to me that he resembled a child molester.

Hopalong Cassidy just looked too old; the guy had white hair for crissakes. But his all-black outfit appealed … going against the grain as it did. Gene Autry wore a white hat. Because he was a good guy, and since my sister took me to a couple of his rodeos at the old Boston Garden, I guess he was my favorite by default; although, his nasally singing voice grated on me even then.

And then there was Paladin. Mention that name to anyone under fifty and your likely response will be a quizzical stare.

I was still well shy of puberty, even pre-puberty, when the black-clad gun-for-hire arrived on the scene, but even then I could appreciate, as portrayed by the late Richard Boone, the quiet but powerful masculinity the character exuded. And there was something else about this San Francisco dandy who resided at an elegant hotel, and squired about stunning women, but who transformed into a lethal avenger, a black-clad knight-errant. I couldn’t have put a name to it at the time, but Have Gun, Will Travel was the first, and perhaps only western noir.

Paladin was not so much a hired gun as he was a private eye, zealously living by his own moral code in the tradition of Marlowe, Sam Spade, or the Continental Op. He had a mysterious past, perhaps a major regret. All the series allowed was that he had been a cavalry officer during the Civil War.

Paladin business cardHe was cool, classy, and erudite. He had his accoutrements: a custom-made Colt .45 that rested in a black-leather holster with a knight chess piece ornament, the same chess piece emblazoned on his business card (a western character with a business card!) which read: Have Gun, Will Travel ...wire Paladin ... San Francisco.

He would spend mornings in the hotel lobby excising clippings from dozens of frontier newspapers, then sending his card and the clipping to people who he thought might have need of his “services.” A reply would spur him to don his all-black traveling outfit and go off on a quest for justice. Paladin—from the knights of Charlemagne.

It was not unusual for him to turn on his client, if he thought he was being used in an unjust scheme. But one thing you could count on each episode, Paladin would quote Shakespeare, Shelley, or perhaps the Song of Solomon.

Have Gun, Will Travel was perhaps the most literate western ever presented on the small screen. And that had an impact on me and other kids who grew up following his adventures. We learned you could be tough and literate, that being cultured and well-read was “cool.”

Violence did not solve problems, but when it had to be applied, if should only be done as a last resort. Employing restraint and reason was not weak, it was smart.

Paladin killed his share of adversaries, but just as often he let them live and even championed them if he decided that the law was being applied unjustly. Nothing was ever entirely black or white.

And as the years passed, we realized something else, Paladin was sexy. Yeah, it’s true; guys can appreciate sexiness in other men, and aspire to be like them.

It probably wasn’t until Sean Connery’s James Bond debuted that the world was presented with a hero as cultured, urbane and yet lethal. But even 007 couldn’t compete with Paladin’s cool. I don’t think Bond ever inspired a kid to pick up a book of poetry, or delve into Shakespeare.

And sure as hell, Howard Stern and his ilk never will.

I miss classy heroes; I think today’s young people miss them too, though they don’t realize it. When’s the last time you listened to a character in a television drama or movie recite a sonnet? More likely you’ll hear them rip an ear-splitting fart. Hey, it was funny in junior high school; it’s a little old, or it should be, when you’re in your twenties.

Crude has its place. It can be used effectively to set a tone, or define a character. But crude for the sake of being crude isn’t sexy; it isn’t even funny. The laughs I hear today are strained, as if audiences feel obligated to laugh at some dolt repeating, “Tits and ass! Tits and ass!”

Maybe things are already changing; maybe classy will become cool again. And wit will trump witlessness.

Perhaps another Paladin is forming in the mind of a writer somewhere, or another Indiana Jones, who made a knowledge of history cool.

Or, maybe I’m just too much of a romantic.

Robert Buckley
April 2009


If you have any comments or insights to share about this column, please send an email to: Robert Buckley

Read more of Robert Buckley's Cracking Foxy in 2009 ERWA Archive.

______
"Cracking Foxy" © 2009 Robert Buckley. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written

About the Author: Robert Buckley is senior fiction editor at ERWA. His stories have been published in various anthologies, including editions of Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica and the Coming Togther series of altruistic erotica.



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'09 Movie Reviews

Blame It On Savanna
Review by Byrdman

Cry Wolf
Review by Spooky

Faithless
Review by Spooky

Heaven or Hell
Review by Oranje

House of Wicked
Review by Diesel

The Office: An XXX Parody
Review by Spooky

This Ain't The Partridge Family
Review by Spooky


'09 Book Reviews

Anthologies

A Slip of the Lip (ebook)
Review by Jean Roberta

Best Women's Erotica '09
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Bottoms Up
Review by Ashley Lister

Enchanted Again
Review by Victoria Blisse

Frenzy
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Girls on Top
Review by Ashley Lister

In Sleeping Beauty’s Bed
Review by Ashley Lister

Libidacoria (Poetry)
Review by Ashley Lister

Licks & Promises
Review by Ashley Lister

Like a Thorn (ebook)
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The Mile High Club
Review by Ashley Lister

Nexus Confessions: Vol 5
Review by Victoria Blisse

Nexus Confessions 6
Review by Victoria Blisse

Oysters & Chocolate
Review by Kristina Wright

Playing with Fire
Review by Ashley Lister

Sexy Little Numbers Vol 1
Review by Ashley Lister

Up for Grabs
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Novels

A 21st Century Courtesan
Review by Donna G. Storey

The Ages of Lulu
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Amanda’s Young Men
Review by Kristina Wright

As She's Told
Review by Ashley Lister

Bedding Down
Review by Victoria Blisse

Broken
Review by Ashley Lister

Brushes & Painted Dolls
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Cassandras Chateau
Review by Ashley Lister

The Edge of Impropriety
Review by Kristina Wright

Exposure
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Free Pass
Review by Ashley Lister

The Gift of Shame
Review by Victoria Blisse

Kiss It Better
Review by Ashley Lister

The Melinoe Project
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Mortal Engines & The ...
Review by Ashley Lister

The New Rakes
Review by Ashley Lister

Ninety Days of Genevieve
Review by Victoria Blisse

Obsession: An Erotic Tale
Review by Kristina Wright

Sarah's Education
Review by Ashley Lister

Seduce Me
Review by Lisabet Sarai

Lesbian Erotica

Lesbian Cowboys
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Night's Kiss
Review by Jean Roberta

Where the Girls Are
Review by Jean Roberta

Gay Erotica

Animal Attraction 2
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Boys in Heat
Review by Vincent Diamond

Faewolf
Review by Lisabet Sarai

The Low Road
Review by Jean Roberta

Personal Demons
Review by Jean Roberta

Ready to Serve
Review by Vincent Diamond

The Secret Tunnel
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Shuck
Review by Kathleen Bradean

Transgressions
Review by Vincent Diamond

Non-Fiction

Best Sex Writing '09
Review by Kristina Wright

The Big Penis Book
Review by Rob Hardy

Erotic Encounters
Review by Rob Hardy

The Forbidden Apple
Review by Rob Hardy

Hollywood’s Censor
Review by Rob Hardy

Lady in Red
Review by Rob Hardy

Licentious Gotham: Erotic...
Review by Rob Hardy

Live Nude Elf
Review by Rob Hardy

Live Nude Girl
Review by Rob Hardy

The Other Side of Desire
Review by Rob Hardy

Scripts 4 Play
Review by Ashley Lister