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From Anonymous
I have fond memories of a former girlfriend who liked to dabble in various BDSM scenes. It started out as sexy kinky fantasy talk while we fucked, than moved into spankings, handcuffs, bondage, all sorts of things. Hot hot hot! Like Jose said [see Jose's entry below], it is hard to find a playmate, in the meantime the kinky Internet is were I get my kinky fix.

From Erik
50 Shades of Grey certainly has changed the way people think about BDSM. The author, now a multi-millionaire, tapped into BDSM fantasies leaving hundreds of thousands of people masturbating furisouly to tales of bondage, ben wa balls, spankings and so on, and wishing to make BDSM part of their sexual life. Three cheers for EL James for moving BDSM into the mainstream.

From Anonymous Fem
I don't want a BDSM lifestyle, I want a loveing, kind, gentle man (or woman, hey, I'm not particular) who will cherish me come hell or high water....and who is not shy about landing a spanking or tie-up and kinky sexual torment me every now and then.

From Jose
Now and then I really enjoy getting my kink on. It can be hardcore BDSM, a mild kinky play game, or something that caught my fancy and I want to give it a go. It's hard to find a girlfriend who enjoys, or is willing to try, new and different sexual scenes. But I'm an optimist, and will continue searching and searching and searching...someone hear my plea!

From Anonymous
Never done any actual BDSM, but I am hugely turned on by the idea, and often use it as a fantasy during sex or masturbation. I am not into pain or humiliating domination at all, but the thought of being helpless and completely exposed to my lover is highly arousing. I tend to do what I consider "pretend" bondage, holding my arms up or out, lying spread, opening myself and relaxing completely, imagining myself completely at his mercy, and the orgasms are simply mind-bending.

From Lisabet Sarai
BDSM does not necessarily involve pain. I'm rather surprised (and dismayed) to read some of the other responses suggesting this. The fundamental principle of BDSM is power exchange - the submissive voluntarily renouncing his or her will and control for some period of time, and the dominant accepting that power and the attendant responsibility. Some practitioners never include pain in their scenes at all.

That being said, some people (myself included) do find certain kinds of pain arousing, but (in my case at least) only in the context of this surrender and connection. People who aren't turned on by BDSM find it difficult to understand the attraction and I'll tell you the truth - even when you're in the midst of a scene you find yourself asking yourself whether you're crazy! Are you really eager to be spanked, whipped, pinched, or whatever? If you're like me, and you look deep inside yourself, you realize that the honest answer is yes.

In any case, BDSM has nothing to do with abuse. It can be cathartic, empowering, and lead to a deeper, more loving relationship. I speak from personal experience.

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