Erotica Readers & Writers Association
Home | Erotic Books | Authors Resources | Inside The Erotic Mind | Erotica Gallery
Adult Movies | Sex Toys | Erotic Music | Email Discussion List | Links

Inside the Erotic Mind

Current Affairs

Spicy Sex!
Altoids, schnopps, chili?

On-Going Forums


Blasphemous Fantasies
Why are they so titillating?

Could You, Would You?
3 fantasies to try on

Forced Fantasies
Right or wrong?

Men's Fantasies
Men dare to reveal

Women's Fantasies
Women dare to share

Your Fantasy 3some


Masturbation Memories
First experiences

Private Moments Masturbation
The secret to happy monogamy?

Your Masturbation Aid
Books, videos, toys...?

Taking Care of Business
On the sly...or so you think

Oral Pleasures

Oral Sex for Her
Talk with your tongue

Oral Sex for Him
How to blow his mind

Swallow or Spit
What's a person to do?

The Taste of Cum
Yummy or icky?

Orgasmic Pleasures

Cum Shots
Cupid's liquid darts

Faking It
Why the deception?

Harnesses & Dildos...Oh My!
Pegging your partner

Oral Sex or Intercourse?
What is your preference

Keeping Abreast..

Breasts & Nipples
Do they drive you wild?

Erotic Lactation
Your thoughts?

Male Nipple Play
Men, are you into it?

Relationship Woes

Browsing for Cupid
Online love or heartache?

Why Do People Cheat?
Is the grass really greener?

The Daily Grind

Horny at Work
What's a person to do...

Swing Clubs
What goes on at these places?


Does pain for pleasure dominate your fantasies?

For a look into pleasurable pain...

GameLink is where adults shop for adult pleasures. Whether you're looking for your first sex toy or your twentieth, something vanilla or kinky, a product large or small, GameLink has choices for you.Variety is the spice of life, and there aren't many places spicier than GameLink's Sex Toys selections.

Adam & EveTV is changing how people view adult content. The website's cable TV-like platform contains high quality, big budget programming with some of the most popular performers in adult entertainment. The story driven adult TV shows include award winning features, parodies, and couples friendly porn on any device.

Adult Friend Finder

From John
Interesting that the majority of entries here are from women, and those are pro BDSM. There's a dearth of male input, and those are mostly con views. And here I am adding to the status quo: There isn't anything in the BDSM line-up that attracts me as either doer or receiver. I discussed it with my wife (married 23 years), concerned that perhaps she might be hankering for a spanking, domination (either way) or some such. Her response: "no, no, and no" to which I say thank goodness! I love this woman.

From Mary
I am definitely into it, but I don't know how to handle it. I discovered I love being spanked. The slaps go right to my clit. Not knowing when the next one comes turns me on. Most of my lovers I've been with liked or at least didn't mind spanking me. But that's as far as it goes. I'd like being tied up and blindfolded, whipped or caned maybe. I'd like to try and find out if that's really my thing. But as much as I'd like to put myself in someone else's hands, I refuse to call anyone my master. Giving away control, fine, but equality is important for me.

From JCR
My reaction to BDSM is a lot like my reaction to French liqueurs: sometimes mind-blowingly gorgeous, sometimes distinctly queasy, often an interesting mix of the two. Power-play in itself, as a general rule, doesn't do much for me. (I'm excepting, obviously, the playful spanking and sensuous soft-bondage that every good lover should have in their repertoire.)  And I find it positively hard to deal with the sight of a human body being in some way distorted, as in some forms of rope-bondage for example.  But the fact is, restraint is sexy; and I love the theatricality, the ritual and the straight-out decadent flamboyance of some BDSM porn, which you just don't see elsewhere. 

Incidentally, a few people have spoken about the importance of "equality" in a relationship, and I totally agree.  (It's one of the added bonuses of being a lesbian, that you don't necessarily have that pre-packaged baggage, but that's a whole other story.)  Sometimes I've been with people who use admittedly light, almost vanilla BDSM to actively pursue that: for example, it's rather liberating knowing that a lover who's several rungs further up the academic hierarchy than me is perfectly welcome to dominate me in meetings, provided she's aware of finding her ass over my knee once the working day is over....

From Anonymous
I have just recently been interested in bondage. It took several requests for my hands to be tied before my husband would do it. I am very turned on with my hands being tied above my head with a silk scarf. Now I would like to take it to another level and have my hands and legs tied spread eagle. Can't explain why I enjoy it. Maybe just being submissive and letting him be totally in control.

From Suzie
My partner and I do not live a BDSM lifestyle, the thought of it makes me cringe. We live fairly boring day to day lives and he does far more housework than I do. If he ever tried to tell me off or punish me, I don't know what I'd do, but it wouldn't be pretty! 

But our sex is always BDSM related in someway. For as long as we can both remember we've had 'kinky' fantasies. Mine started before I was ten. I dreamed about being whipped and dominated before I even knew it was a sexual practice. That's why I know it's not wrong or perverse, it's just something in me. I'm the submissive, the masochist if you like, in the relationship. I like pain. When the endorphins are flowing I like a lot of pain; my faves are when he uses a leather flogger on my backside or pinches my nipples really hard. I love him to pull my hair too. But, to be honest, and I get the sense that this is the same with a lot of BDSM practicing couples, the pain is only so wonderful because it is part of the submission. 

I'm a wimp with a really low pain threshold in day to day life. I hate hurting myself accidentally and I take paracetamol at the first sign of a headache. And it wouldn't turn me on if he just grabbed hold of me and hurt me. The pain is only a small part of the much greater whole. 

 I don't like the thought of pain for pain's sake, or of being cut, branded or scarred in anyway as a result of it. That's not for me. But if pain is an element of my total sexual submission, then give it to me, please...I'm begging on my knees.

From Grey
I think that Bondage and S&M is unhealthy. Love making should be loving not punishing and humiliating. Just because you have sexual fantasy about it and just because it turns you on, doesn't mean it is right or good for you. Critically ask yourself why it turns you on? Why do you feel you have to be mistreated? Why do you want to punish someone else? There are other reasons that are being projected into your sexuality. Nothing beats equality in the bedroom, nothing beats tenderness, affection and love!

From Curtis
I've played for a number of years with several different women, but I have no interest in a BDSM lifestyle, I just like to play kinky games.  I've played both sides, dominant and submissive and enjoy both depending on my mood. I'm not into serious pain, nipple torture doesn't interest me, (although I think my wife would enjoy some adjustable nipple clamps).

I love spankings, giving and receiving! My first time as a submissive was in my twenties. My girlfriend blindfolded me, tied my hands, straddled my face and made me eat her until she'd come multiple times.  After her orgasms, she tied me with my legs spread and my feet up in the air and proceeded to spank me. After my ass started turning pink, she slipped her vibrator into my ass. The combination of the vibrator in my ass, and the blows from her hairbrush was mind-blowing. After my ass was bright red, and she slowed down on the spanking and started sucking my toes while she fucked me with the vibrator.  She had always liked for me to suck her toes, but no one had ever done it to me.  She finally finished me off in her mouth and then made me swallow my own cum. After she untied me and removed the blindfold she handed me my glasses and pointed to the corner of the room, she'd rented a video camera and taped the whole thing! 

Page:   12 | 3

Participation Link

Interested in this topic? Share your thoughts with us.


  E-mail this page

Search ERWA Website:

Copyright 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.

Down There Fare

Big Clits vs Small Clits
Size determines pleasure?

Clit Notes
Playing It Her Way

Designa Vagina
Lips to die for...

Female Ejaculation
Penis envy or truth?

The Scent of a Woman
Is it hot, or not?

Talking Heads

Big Dicks vs Foreplay
Which do you prefer?

Cock Rings
Torture or pleasure?

Foreskin: Hot or Not?
What is your preference...

How do you handle it?

The Scent of a Man
Is it hot, or not?

Delectable Derrières

Anal Sex
So what's the big deal?

Anal Sex for Straight Men
A penetrating question

Luscious Backsides
Do they incite you?

Sexy Turn-Ons...or Offs

Is pain your pleasure?

Cybersex Experiences
Satisfying or devastating?

Kiss...and Tell Us
Passionate or unpleasant?

Naughty Pictures or Words
What turns you on?

Same-Sex Curiosity
Would you...did you?

Sympathy Fuck
Nasty or Noble?

Porny Problems

Porn & Relationships
Hot or not?

Porn for Women
Is there such a thing?

When Porn Isn't Sexy
What are they doing wrong?

Body Talk

Bare with Me
Is nudity your thing?

Bush or Bare
Your preference is...

Hot in High Heels
Is it worth the pain?

Name Your Dingle
We won't laugh...

Inquiring Minds

Age and Sex
Like fine wine or vinegar?

Losing Your Virginity
Fiction versus reality

Sexy Mainstream Movies
Your favorite sultry scenes?

Women: During The Act
What do you think about?

Men: During The Act
What do you think about?

What do Women Want's not size

What do Men Want rhymes with 'vex'