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Faking It
Why the deception?


Faking orgasmIt may sound like a silly question, but why do women fake orgasms? I can think of two reasons:

1. Because the woman is ready to get the sex over with.
2. Because the woman wants to make her partner feel good about himself.

Neither reason seems good enough to justify faking it, nor do they justify the myth that all women do it.  So, am I missing something, or what?  —Sandi

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From Rob from Euless
I can understand why a woman might fake an orgasm early on in the sexual relationship (regardless of "commitment level" with the partner). I had a partner that as our sexual relationship should have progressed I found we had vastly different sexual tastes and I found myself successfully faking my own orgasm to get things over with. At that point, we talked and discussed our differences and found a compromise that took us awhile longer. Ultimately, it didn't work out, but we gave it a good shot.

Can I ask something of the ladies out there? Isn't it a rule or something that a woman always reserves the right to change her mind? Can't that be applied here and just tell us guys that what used to make you hot is giving way to other techniques and curiosities? "Oops... sorry. I changed my mind?" Use it as a way to get back to a fresh starting ground and the opportunity to begin talking to your partner about what makes you orgasm. Then teach them. And let them teach you about themselves. We're given varying sexual tastes and desires for a reason. We might as well enjoy them and put them to occasional use.

From Cat
I don't believe in faking it.This doesn't mean I haven't. With a new partner I will. Sometimes it's not clicking and why start out that way. Usually it's because it's not working for me. If it continues I stop seeing that person. I don't mean to sound selfish but I couldn't go on that way. With new relationships the man does not deal well with that.

In a long term relationship we have discussed what we need and want. There is a gentle way to say it didn't happen. But the best time is afterwards when there is pillow talk. 75% of the time it only made the person try harder. I will and can take the same criticism. When a sexual relationship is not good the rest of it can go down hill quickly. All you need to do is talk.

From Camber
I would be lying if I said I haven't faked it.  My husband is an incredible lover and tries so hard, so I just don't want to make him feel bad.  He usually always gets me there with oral, but never from penetration, so for that I will occasionally fake it. 

I was thinking I could not come from penetration alone, but sicne I travel lots for work I have had some other encounters.  From those encounters I have realized I can come with penetration.

From Dangerous Bill
Perhaps it's for reason number 3—because women have been taught by movies, novels and folklore to think that normal women can come by vaginal penetration alone, so they fake it in order to appear 'normal'.

Count up the number of movies where the heroine has said, 'Okay, you've had yours. Now do something for me.' Instead, they always seem to get off together.

From Sandi
It still seems counterproductive to me, encouraging things that don't do the trick.

From Bob
I faked an orgasm once. Later she said, "I didn't know guys could do that."

From Rose
Well, if I were going to fake one, which I never have, it would be reason No. 2.  I always just told the guy, including my husband when I met him, "I never come, so don't bother trying and don't worry about it. As long as you come, I'm happy."  They seemed okay with that.  And I wasn't lying, either.  I love when my partner comes and I get a huge amount of satisfaction just from hearing those wonderful sounds of pleasure; it is truly music to my ears, which I probably wouldn't enjoy nearly as much if I were busy screaming overtop of it.

You also asked, "Why would you want to? It seems counterproductive to me, encouraging things that don't do the trick."  I concur; it is counterproductive, and also deceptive.  In my experience, deception cannot coexist for any length of time with love and trust.  I never even bothered trying to fake an orgasm.  After a date that ended in sex and I'd satisfy my partner, later when I was home alone in my own bed, I'd masturbate to relieve the tension.  When I got married, my husband was perfectly okay with me masturbating in bed beside him, so it was never an issue.

I've moved on to vibrators and quite enjoy myself with them. Having them used on me is also a treat.  The Hitachi wand is truly a magical instrument. I remember the first time I used it, I was in my bedroom and had this amazing orgasm and made these noises unlike anything I'd ever made before in both volume and duration. My husband came in after they died down and said, "Did you say something?" I laughed so hard I almost fell off the bed.

From Lilith
Faking it. I am now a pro. I know that some think that faking is wrong. Nevertheless, have you ever been forced or subjected to continuance sex until you orgasmed? I love sex, in fact I have always loved it. The truth of the matter though is that I am now twenty-six, at the time of my first orgasm I was twenty-five. I have been faking for years, since the onset of sex.

Why? For exactly the same reason most women do. To make their men feel good about themselves. I have had oral sex performed for an hour straight and nothing. I have had sex for more than eight hours and nothing. (Of course there were breaks between those sessions, but it went on forever.) All because my guy was searching for the elusive orgasm. If only I could have saved us both the pressure and told him that it would not be he who introduced me to the orgasm, no matter of fleeting our acquittance, but an Angel.

The truth is that the pressure of having an orgasm takes all of the fun out of sex. My ex and I, at the beginning use to search for this orgasm, and it use to ruin sex. Finally I told him one day that I refuse to have him poke and prod my body in hopes of eliciting said response. After that I had some of my most memorable moments of great sex. It did not matter that I did not orgasm. Don't get me wrong that does not mean a man should just get on and hump until they get their rocks off without any effort of pleasing me, but it does mean that I am completely okay with good sex minus an orgasm.


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