Faking It
Why the deception?

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From Jayne
I fake orgasms often. I also have them regularly, so I don't have a problem. Even when I don't have an orgasm, I love sex and experience a great deal of pleasure and do not feel shorted by not having one. I guess I've been lucky that all but one of my lovers have always been just as much interested in getting me off as themselves, so I fake them because I want to make them feel adequate as lovers. It has nothing to do with them not touching me right or me being inhibited about telling them what I want. Sometimes it just doesn't happen for me.

I will say that I would never fake an orgasm if somebody was giving me bad sex or if I wasn't enjoying it. For me, faking it is not so much about stroking the guy's ego as much as it is another form of giving him pleasure, especially because he gets so much pleasure from thinking I'm coming. I know men don't know I'm faking because throughout sex I continue to get wet and sometimes gush, which is an effect of a real orgasm. So when the man feels that in addition to my moans and the physical manipulation of my body, he completely believes I've had an orgasm.

Sometimes men will even think I've had one when I haven't, even when I didn't fake it. When men feel that rush of wetness, they sometimes mistake it for an orgasm.

From Beth
I also have faked once, when I was young and stupid.  The psychological result was devastating.  Not only did my boyfriend think he had me all figured out (he didn't), I never felt like I could go back on that lie and it just sat there, ugly between the two of us.  Blech.  I get all goosebumpy and gross just thinking of it.

I vowed never to do that to myself again.  If a lover is pressuring me I just say, "I can't, we have to stop, give me a minute or two."  Usually, resetting my mind is enough, or else I just tell him or her I can't and we decide what to do next.  There's lots more fun to be had.

From Jen
I've been stupid, too, and I still might be.  While I haven't had sex in over six years, when I did, I wouldn't tell my guy if he was chafing me, which happened a lot.  I don't know if it's just some skin problem I have, although I can masturbate and not chafe myself, but I worry about hurting the guy's feelings.  Considering how irritating chafing is, you'd think I would say something.  I would later go put lotion on or something.  And when I've tried to tell guys what I like, they still don't get the right way. 

One of my biggest bitches (and I saw this mentioned in a past article of BUST magazine, so I'm not the only one) is, you tell the guy he's doing it right, and when your arousal increases and you approach climax, he goes faster and more vigorously.  I will tell the guy, "Don't change it, just keep the motion the same and let me come!" because I lose it when the motion changes, but he still doesn't get it, and does the same thing.  I feel like guys think I'm nagging or being a bitch because I'm trying to teach/show them what I like, but what am I supposed to do if they don't get it?

From Misha
I have a question.  Are guys really faked out by "faking it?"  I know that once someone has seen me come once, they would never believe any faking I could attempt.  It's impossible to simulate that uncontrollable trembling in my thighs or the spasming of the kitty kat.  It can't be done.  I could possibly make it "look" convincing, but it wouldn't feel convincing at all.

From Pat
I don't think I could fake convincingly either, if I wanted to. If there are fingers or a cock inside me, they'll feel the contractions of my vagina. Otherwise, there's the ejaculation that gives it away. You can't fake that.

From Amanda
My husband claimed he could always tell when a woman faked an orgasm. Once with my husband and another lover, I did a DP (double penetration). The lover was in my cunt, my husband was in my ass. It was a great experience but there's no way I was going to come and the 25-year old lover wasn't going to either, unless I did, so I faked. Neither of them knew. Afterward, I told my husband and he was very surprised. I don't fake with my husband, because there's no need, but I've done it many men and they don't know it, never could know it. It's easy to make your cunt spasm (use your kegel muscles) to draw them in. I’m always very moist, so it seems like cum to them. One guy told me cunt lips get cold during orgasm, so that's how he knew I had an orgasm. Yeah right.

From Jen
I must wholeheartedly disagree with the idea that a man can tell when a woman’s faking it.  I'm not saying there aren't some men who can tell, but I assure you, many men cannot.  When I confessed to one boyfriend I had faked it, he growled at me and said, "You're a liar!  You're a liar!"  Later on, when we'd gotten back together, after having sex he sarcastically commented, "Faking it, hah!"  Some men's egos can't take it.

From Dorothy
Amanda said:  My husband claimed he could always tell when a woman faked an orgasm.

Reminds me of the line from “When Harry Met Sally,” about how men always say they can tell and that women don't with them, and women say they've all done it. "So you do the math."

My husband once asked me if I had ever faked it with him. I immediately said no. He walked out of the room wearing a big shit-eating grin. And slowly returned a few minutes later. "Damn, woman," he said. "You're good."

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