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From Jayne
I fake orgasms often. I also have them regularly, so I don't have a problem. Even when I don't have an orgasm, I love sex and experience a great deal of pleasure and do not feel shorted by not having one. I guess I've been lucky that all but one of my lovers have always been just as much interested in getting me off as themselves, so I fake them because I want to make them feel adequate as lovers. It has nothing to do with them not touching me right or me being inhibited about telling them what I want. Sometimes it just doesn't happen for me.

I will say that I would never fake an orgasm if somebody was giving me bad sex or if I wasn't enjoying it. For me, faking it is not so much about stroking the guy's ego as much as it is another form of giving him pleasure, especially because he gets so much pleasure from thinking I'm coming. I know men don't know I'm faking because throughout sex I continue to get wet and sometimes gush, which is an effect of a real orgasm. So when the man feels that in addition to my moans and the physical manipulation of my body, he completely believes I've had an orgasm.

Sometimes men will even think I've had one when I haven't, even when I didn't fake it. When men feel that rush of wetness, they sometimes mistake it for an orgasm.

From Amanda
It is not good to fake, I know. It's better to be honest with a lover, but there have been times with new lovers where I've tried to explain to them ahead of time that I just don't orgasm with someone the first few times, and they simply don't understand it. I think they do, until we get in bed and then they plow, plow away, trying very hard, their faces turning red with effort, their bodies covered in sweat. I don't want to kill them, I just want to make love to them and I want to give them what they want. If it makes them happy to believe that I am orgasming, why is this so bad?

It doesn't bode well for a long term relationship and I have not done this with my own husband: first of all because he is the most patient man I know and doesn't care if it takes me an hour to climax, and also because he, like me, understands that making love isn't just about that final prize.

For that one afternoon you spend with someone, never to see them again, where's the harm? I say faking it's ok. It's better than leaving a lover frustrated with himself, in my opinion.

From Rob
I had a partner that as our sexual relationship should have progressed I found we had vastly different sexual tastes and I found myself successfully faking my own orgasm to get things over with. At that point, we talked and discussed our differences and found a compromise that took us awhile longer. Ultimately, it didn't work out, but we gave it a good shot.

From Cat
I don't believe in faking it.This doesn't mean I haven't. With a new partner I will. Sometimes it's not clicking and why start out that way. Usually it's because it's not working for me. If it continues I stop seeing that person. I don't mean to sound selfish but I couldn't go on that way. With new relationships the man does not deal well with that. In a long term relationship we have discussed what we need and want. There is a gentle way to say it didn't happen. I will and can take the same criticism. When a sexual relationship is not good the rest of it can go down hill quickly. All you need to do is talk.

From Camber
I would be lying if I said I haven't faked it.  My husband is an incredible lover and tries so hard, so I just don't want to make him feel bad.  He usually always gets me there with oral, but never from penetration, so for that I will occasionally fake it. 

From Rose
Well, if I were going to fake one, which I never have, it would be reason No. 2 (Because the woman wants to make her partner feel good about himself).  I always told the guy, including my husband when I met him, "I never come, so don't bother trying and don't worry about it. As long as you come, I'm happy."  They seemed okay with that.  And I wasn't lying, either.  I love when my partner comes and I get a huge amount of satisfaction just from hearing those wonderful sounds of pleasure; it is truly music to my ears, which I probably wouldn't enjoy nearly as much if I were busy screaming overtop of it.

In my experience, deception cannot coexist for any length of time with love and trust.  I never even bothered trying to fake an orgasm.  After a date that ended in sex and I'd satisfy my partner, later when I was home alone in my own bed, I'd masturbate to relieve the tension.  When I got married, my husband was perfectly okay with me masturbating in bed beside him, so it was never an issue.

I've moved on to vibrators and quite enjoy myself with them. Having them used on me is also a treat.  The Hitachi wand is truly a magical instrument. I remember the first time I used it, I was in my bedroom and had this amazing orgasm and made these noises unlike anything I'd ever made before in both volume and duration. My husband came in after they died down and said, "Did you say something?" I laughed so hard I almost fell off the bed.

From Claire
I once faked it during phone sex. Sadly though, the phone sex was incredible and I would have given anything to have been able to give myself the extra little push over the edge, but my environmental circumstances weren't permitting. It was a friend of mine who has since become my 'phone buddy.' he's absolutely astounding with words and I felt bad for having faked it with him considering it was his first time having phone sex. 

But afterwards I looked on the bright side -- I was popping his phone it's good that he got off. I haven't faked it with him since though. And I don't have the heart to tell him I faked it the first time. I joked that I had once and he said "yeah right, your not that good an actress." oh well!

From Anonymous
I have been with quite a few guys (not saying that with pride, but just to explain my story) but have almost never gotten off by any of them. I seem to only be able to give myself earth shaking orgasms. I blame my dilemma partly on the fact that I think it is hard for me to fully relax my mind and body with a guy I am not completely emotionally connected with (performance anxiety?) but also on the fact that I feel too pressured and rushed (almost as though I don't want to make him eat me for too long or I'll start to feel bad). So I end up faking it. Sometimes I end up faking it by mistake! It just has become habit. And I don't want to - I know it cheats me out of what I know could be an absolutely amazing experience.

From Anonymous
I have orgasms if I do it, but I've almost never had one with a man, oral or otherwise. I feel pressured to hurry up and have one and then I don't have one at all. No matter how emotionally close I am to my partner it doesn't happen. So I fake it a lot and I hate it. What can I do?

From Cateyes
I used to fake orgasms but not anymore. I think that I did it because I felt embarrassed for not being able to have one and thought that there was something wrong with me. Now that I am older (40), I know that I need clitoral stimulation to have one, (which I usually provide by hand myself). I now also have G spot orgasms, those started almost 2 yrs ago when I was pregnant.

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