The Global Village
Is it Possible to Find True Love in Cyber-Space?

A friend of mine has been hooked on cyber-love since the first day he got the Internet. He has met many of his online loves in real life. He always seems to choose women who live on the other side of the planet. The problem comes when he forks over his hard-earned cash to run off to meet the new love of his life. The lust is wonderful for a few weeks. He's head over heels and they make plans for one or the other to move. Then the wheels fall off. The logistics of moving across town are difficult enough, but a move across the country or to a whole 'nother country is a nightmare. Governments stand in the way of true love and won't supply the needed visas. Employment is difficult to find.

This whole thing gets me to thinking. Are we as humans really supposed to move that far from the village to find mates? Has the internet destroyed our perception of what love and lust really are? Is the grass really greener on the other side?  —Lybbe

Is it possible to find true love in cyber space? Perhaps...

• Friend Finder, a safe dating community for fun, friendship, and romance. Post a free ad with photos, mingle in chatrooms, watch video intros, meet your soulmate at Friend Finders. You can even create your own Blog (it's easy!) to share with people you've met on FriendFinder. Find your special someone in your city or anywhere in the nation at Friend Finders.

• Senior FriendFinder is a popular community and personals site where people of a certain age meet for friendship and romance. It's free, it's easy, and it's never too late to fall in love, or enjoy sizzling hot sex with that special someone (or twosome, or moresome!)

From Rob in Euless
I met my current and all-time love online during the early days of AOL. She was a Long Island divorcee and I was a Texas-based BBS operator. She wandered onto AOL looking for friendly diversions and I was there leaching files for my system's callers and avoiding a sexually devoid marriage at the time. We met in a series of chatrooms, liked each others' banter and took it to the next step. It worked and I dismissed my spouse from my heart (with many regrets) immediately.

Almost 12 years later (more than twice as long as the span of my marriage) we're together, very much in love and engaged to be married. Neither of us wanted the road it took to be together and at times it has been a tough road to travel. However, each obstacle has been something we have overcome together and I cannot separate her from even the most simplest of plans or thoughts.

Do online-based relationships have merit? In my case, I have to say yes.

From Nina
Yes, you can find love on the Net. My friend has found this super guy who has moved in with her and are very happy together. I have been in a loveless marriage for 26 years and, through Adult Friend Finder have fallen in love with a beautiful man.

He is in the same situation as I am. We have been corresponding for 2 years and have met 4 times. We share our hopes and dreams of our future together which will come when our kids are all grown up. We share things that I wouldn't share with anyone else.

We support each other on truly bad days and our e mails and cards are precious as well as our time together on messenger. I would have never met this man and my friend would not be happy if it weren't for the Net- I love it.

From Shelly
I met my fiancé on the internet. So, yes, I do believe that you can find love in cyberspace. Even though we live 3000 miles apart, we have managed to fly to see each other several times, and we talk on the phone 2-3 hours every day. Although the sex is incredible, it's his mind that attracted me from the first. We spoke on Messenger and on the phone for a couple of months before we met. And when we met, wow, we were instantly attracted. 

I was surprisingly comfortable when I first met him because we had been talking and sharing our thoughts and feelings for a while, and this strengthened the intensity of our attraction. What was so nice was the fact that the physical aspect was not an issue at first. We didn't have cybersex before we met; we concentrated on getting to know each other on a cerebral level. We hinted around as to our desires and fantasies, but we waited until we physically met to explore things further.

From Anonymous
Advice to Ana [see entry below] who has a NY cyber lover that she is turned inside out about....

Decide if your marriage is worth saving. If you love him and can imagine a future with him, sit him down and tell him. I'm a man and I'd sure want my wife to do that for me. Sit him down, look him straight in the eye and tell him, "This is going to be a whopper. It's going to hurt like hell but we either have this talk or we're in real trouble." Lay it on him. You have to give him a chance.

From Ana
After a week of heavy flirting with a sexy New Yorker on-line-I am now depressed and desperate. My cyber talks with this man yes gave me a lot of pleasure, many laughs, and re-awakened my sexuality but (there's usually a BUT) these talks made me realise how empty my marriage is. I haven't spoken to Mr NY for a couple of days (time differences, work, maybe he's just avoiding me...) and am suffering withdrawal symptoms: insomnia, my heart feels broken, I've started smoking, I've lost at least a kilo from running back and forth to the computer to check if he's on-line. It's ridiculous-I've become obsessed with this person who lives on the other side of the earth from me. I probably haven't made much sense-does anyone have any advice? I'd really appreciate your views.

From Expanding Mind
This topic interests me greatly because I have been chatting with a woman in Thailand for over two months. I will give you some background information first:

I have been married for 17 years and have 3 children. I love my family and will not leave my wife. We could have a little more spark in our love life, but it is not bad either. The woman I have met online is single and 13 years younger than me (she is 29). She works in a health care clinic there and because of the time difference (12 hours), I usually chat with her from 11 PM to 2 to 4 AM.

We met online because I am a late night person. I tend to stay up when my family goes to bed and I play computer games online. I stumbled across Yahoo Answers one night instead of playing games and was hooked on this for several nights, then I tried out Yahoo chatrooms. I was in a Hobby Lobby conversing with several people when I received an IM from my friend. I did not trust her at first thinking this was from a sex site bot or a scam. She told me she lived in Thailand and wanted to practice her English. We introduced various aspects of our lives to each other and she sent me her picture along with some pictures of her work place. We met online every night for the first couple of weeks except weekends. We continue to have chats every other night and it is now going on 3 months since this began.

Neither of us discussed love or sex...the chats we have had have centered around differences in cultures, what our lives are like, our work, our vacations, etc. I have sent pictures of myself, leaves changing colors, my workplace, Halloween and Thanksgiving decorations, etc. She has sent pictures of herself, her workplace, Buddhist temples, and surrounding countryside. Intellectually, our conversations are very stimulating and we share similar senses of humor and interest in various things. She knows I am married and have kids and we tend to steer clear from this in our conversations. She asked for advice regarding a man she met online months before who continued to ask to meet her (this man lived nearby and was also Thai). I advised her that if she felt comfortable to be with him from chats, she should live life to the fullest and go on a date with him to see how it worked out. I do not know if this happened or not, but she has stated that she respects me and my advice.

We consider ourselves close friends. If we could meet, I would, but I would be a little afraid of what might happen if we did. It is probably good we live, literally, on opposite sides of the Earth. If I was single, I would probably fly there to meet her, if she was willing, which I think she would be.

I do not know how this will end, but I do know that it has broadened my horizons regarding differences in cultures. With the internet, it really is a Global Village.

From WildBeasty
Now here is a question I can answer. I'm not exactly certain how I came across this site, but I am however intrigued by the question since I have experience in that area.

Back in 2004 my wife of almost 11 years left me for someone else she met online. It was the most devastating event I've ever experienced. There is always two sides to everything. She may have found someone else to love (I don't know) but the pain that was and is caused from it is awful.

Nevertheless, my story does not end there. At the end of the year (2004), I started talking more with someone I met online in an online game room. She and I fell in love. She lived about 350 miles from me. I still remember the first time we met in person. I still remember everything. She was living with someone. She indicated that she was willing to leave him and that we could make a life together. I planned my move and, yes, I moved the 350 miles from the place I had lived for all of my life to that point. I set all my hopes and dreams on that one singular event.

About four months later after my move she told me that she would not leave him. She still wanted to be "friends" with me but that we could not be intimate or "together" like we had been (not that we had that much anyway). She was not willing to hurt him.

I suppose I can understand since I know what it feels like. I just want to warn all of you getting involved with someone online is not a fix to your real world problems and often times will cause it's own set of problems.

I still love her dearly. I'm just so hurt. I didn't think I could be hurt again, but it so hurts to be rejected twice by the ones that you love.

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