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From Jim
Perspective of an Older and Honest Male At 60, I am past the point where it's all chalked up to stress at work or being too tired tonight. The sad fact is that my equipment no longer works like it did during my sexual prime. I don't even wake up with a piss hard-on. I can get fully erect, but it takes so much stimulation to reach that point that I am on the razor's edge of orgasm before I'm hard enough to penetrate.

It's amusing how hard (forgive the pun) it is to find men who will admit to such perfectly normal changes of aging. Consider. We have numerous prescription medications that are absolutely necessary to save your life. Yet Viagra, Levitra and Cialis are raking in more $$$ than medicines that are critical to survival.

My watchword is, "When all else fails, use your head." And when I apply that wisdom and spend a long, languid to hot time between her legs lapping away and drinking in her taste and scent, my equipment generally snaps to attention without any need of performance enhancing drugs. And hey, even if it doesn't, she's not complaining!

From Jane
A hard-on hardly defines a man, it simply defines penetration. And there's a zillion women who can't orgasm via penetration, it takes direct clitoral stimulation. So a penis doesn't even define good sex. You want to define yourself as a lover, learn how to give good head, learn how to finger a women to orgasm, and get over your soft dick. Does she want penetration? Buy a dildo, and learn how to use it to her satisfaction. What I'm trying to say is a dick is very easy to replace. However, the man it's attached to is not. 

I know what I'm talking about. My boyfriend has been impotent (due to a skiing accident) for the last  year of our 2 year relationship. Yes, he went through the 'I'm no longer a man' thing, but as soon as he moved out of his self-pity phase, and realized it wasn't his dick that made him a man, he became a fabulous lover, a champion skier, and I love him more now then then when he had a functioning penis. 

By the way, he is HUNG. Yes, a huge fat gorgeous penis, no longer working. So you can imagine how much he identified his maleness via his penis. It was a rough road, and sometimes still is. But once he realized that a cock is just a cock, he stop letting it define him. You can do the same, just get over yourself, and start looking at the man you are rather what your dick made you.

From Anonymous
I have the occasional failure getting it up like most blokes. Sounds like a lot of people feel bad or guilty about this happening, I believe that a decent woman will be accepting of failure. After all a man's penis is not what makes the man, it's his attitude and personality and part of his personality should involve dealing with failure, or trying to.

From Anonymous
When I was 28 I was involved in a motorcycle accident that crushed and subsequently damaged one of my testes. It looks normal but the blunt trauma caused it internal damage where it does not produce testosterone or semen. I have always had problems with erections and reaching orgasm. I am now 48 and even with Viagra and other ED drugs including Caverject/Edex, there are times when it just won't get hard. I ignore it during lovemaking but it still bothers me. It has without a doubt left some angry bitter feelings especially since I am now on testosterone replacement therapy.

 To a woman it might not be a big deal as there are other ways to achieve pleasure, but to a man it is a big deal. It's almost as if it is what defines what being a man is. Just my thought as I'm sure others will disagree. When it stops working completely, I will give serious thought to just ending my life. I'm done, and the journey sucks.

From Jack
I'm normally rock hard, and really enjoy that feeling of having a solid cock that stands up and you could hang weights off it. However, I've had a couple of break downs and the consequences were terrible, because after that every time you have sex it is at the back of your mind.

It first happened when I was with a girl that I'd wanted to sleep with for years and she turned me on in a way you can't imagine, and yet when it came to the moment my dick let me down. It was all down to having too much expectation and being too concerned with whether I was good enough for her or not. I rebuilt my confidence bit by bit and now I've come to understand how to control it a lot better. It's all about relaxing, just enjoying the sensations that sex gives you, and not thinking about how hard your dick is at any one time during the sex.

It also happened on another occasion just because I didn't feel too great and wasn't in the mood. Let me say that in both situations the girls were shocked and not particularly understanding. That was a real let-down I must say, and made it much more difficult to overcome. It seems like it's ok for girls to not be in the mood, or to be dry when you penetrate them after long and intense foreplay where they really do seem worked up, but when you can't get your hard-on a woman takes it really personal.

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