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Naughty Pictures or Sexy Words

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Naughty PicturesConventional wisdom says men are aroused by visual stimuli, and women are aroused via the written word. Is this true? We suspect it's simply stereotypical blathering. What are the differences between how men and women are aroused? Which is it that turns you on - naughty pictures or sexy words?

For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.  —Isabel Allende

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From Andy
I'm a man so according to conventional wisdom my stimulation is visual. As a keen photographer I can't disagree that I respond to visual stimuli and that women are generally an excellent subject. However as an avid reader and fledgling author I know that the mind is the true origin of arousal and that words are easily as powerful as images. Never forget though that it is easier to turn someone off with badly written erotica than to do the same with a badly taken erotic image. That could be the real reason for the prominence of images over words.

From Brutus46
Obviously, as with many couples, there are a lot of different combinations of situations, places, techniques, toys and acts that turn us on. In the past couple of years we have found two that take the best of the best and make them better.

We found an erotic photographer that photographs couples expression and their feeling and emotions while making love, not by directing them. We had a 2 hour session of love making using various positions, techniques and toys photographed in black and white. During our session we ranged from lust to tenderness and from orgasmic delight to giddiness; all captured on film. We had two coffee table type albums made containing the best shots, and we each wrote a dedication of our feeling for each other and in making the albums. We were far more at ease and natural once the shoot began than we thought we would be; barely noticed the photographer. Every time we look at the albums or think about and discuss them it is a turn on all over again. We do plan on another photo session.

Our second turn on entails writing about our own actual sexual events coupled with our own fantasies that we share verbally during our sexual experiences. So the story is all true even tho it contains fantasy, because the fantasy in the story is the fantasy we actually created and shared during the sex. We have actually had one such story (1400 words) published.

I guess both of our examples are a little out of the box, but they are ours and they are turn-ons.

From Drew
As a writer and poet I love and know the power of words. Yet for me the sweeping away power of visuals is overwhelming. I am turned on enormously by visuals, particularly those in which women are turned on by watching the sex in the scene, and especially if she or they are watching a man come. I, in turn, love to make my woman come to such scenes, if, indeed, she is also turned on by those visuals. In fact, the visuals can be whatever turns her on. If she is turned on, then I am turned on even more so and we can share vicariously the fantasy as I make her come whether manually, orally, me inside her or however. 

It is a convoluted, psychological/emotional loop. But, god, is it ever a deeply pleasurable, peak experience.

From Caviar
Porn turns me on - the more hardcore, the more turned on I get. But so does the voice of a man saying all sorts of things that on a normal day would make me blush or cringe. My husband is a deadly silent lover (he has other traits that are irreplaceable, however) but I have come to the conclusion that my orgasms with him are merely physical reactions to the stimulus rather than mental erotic stimulation. An orgasm with the mental stimulation is much better.

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