BDSM
How much pain are we talking about?

Have an painfully good time with...

• House of Taboo, where lusty women are spanked, bound, fucked, and lovin' it. This is not some lame fetish site where you never see the real hardcore action. Step into the House of Taboo and choose your perversion, from hard spanked asses to diabolical doctor and nurses, and expect to get every gritty sexy scene. Don't say I didn't warn you...

• Bondage.com is the experienced fetish & BDSM community with hundreds of thousands of members worldwide, and is renowned for it's fetish pictures and video, personals, stories, and BDSM / fetish community forums. Registration is free, easy, and anonymous. Bondage.com does offer additional features to paid members, but you will be astonished at just how much you get for free.

From Grey
I think that Bondage and S&M is unhealthy. Love making should be loving not punishing and humiliating. Just because you have sexual fantasy about it and just because it turns you on, doesn't mean it is right or good for you. Critically ask yourself why it turns you on? Why do you feel you have to be mistreated? Why do you want to punish someone else? There are other reasons that are being projected into your sexuality. Nothing beats equality in the bedroom, nothing beats tenderness, affection and love!

From Paul
I love to tie up my wife and fuck her. It is that simple. The bondage may not be elaborate, like Japanese hentai or the like, but it is just firm enough not to allow any escape, just snug enough not to do any damage, and just simple enough that any fantasy can be played out in regards to the look of the rope work.

The reason why I love to tie up my wife and fuck her? Again that is simple I love her and I love it when she has an orgasm. As her husband I feel that it is not only my pleasure to get her off, but also my duty and obligation. Sex is a two way street and it is not fair for one partner to climax while the other is left wanting. I always make sure my wife comes (the harder the better), and one of the best ways to do that is through bondage. By being tied up she is completely helpless and therefore, her orgasm(s) is/are more intense and last longer. I love to watch her struggle to break free, knowing I am going to finger, suck, lick, fondle fuck, etc. her and there isn't a damn thing she can do about it but enjoy the ride and come like a madwoman. 

She is also in a position of authority at work, and the act of giving herself over to me is like a release for her as well. Trust...Communication...and Cconsent are key ingredients with us. It is never rape-like (unless we role-play that kind of scenario), and I never tie her unless she is 100% in the mood for the experience. We do some light spanking as well to "warm her up" so to speak, as well as some light breast bondage and nipple play/torture. This just adds some spice to the session.

So if anybody asks what is the point of bondage? You can say it literally and figuratively can bind a couple closer together, by making them consider not only their own pleasure, but the pleasure of their partner as well.

Bondage can be a game, a tool, used in a scenario, or however you wish, but make sure it is always used with love, trust and consentuality. So guys...the next time you bed down your good lady, hold her arms/hands down in some way, or hold her in a way that she is "bound" and watch her reactions. You may have a girl who loves to be tied up...and you don't know it yet.

Good luck and safe tying!

From Anonymous
To Suzie, [see Suzie's entry below] that's really interesting. I was the same way that when I was younger than 10, before I knew anything about BDSM, I had daydreams about being tied up or dominated in other ways, especially by men. I read a lot when I was younger and feel this probably came from old fairy-tales of princes and giants enslaving women, etc. Some times thinking about that would give me a warm feeling between the legs, which I once again didn't associate with sex. 

Being gently dominated or tied up definitely makes me feel feminine and therefore sexy - I'd like to know whether this is more cultural or instinctive...

From Suzie
My partner and I do not live a BDSM lifestyle, the thought of it makes me cringe. We live fairly boring day to day lives and he does far more housework than I do. If he ever tried to tell me off or punish me, I don't know what I'd do, but it wouldn't be pretty! 

But our sex is always BDSM related in someway. For as long as we can both remember we've had 'kinky' fantasies. Mine started before I was ten. I dreamed about being whipped and dominated before I even knew it was a sexual practice. That's why I know it's not wrong or perverse, it's just something in me. I'm the submissive, the masochist if you like, in the relationship. I like pain. When the endorphins are flowing I like a lot of pain; my faves are when he uses a leather flogger on my backside or pinches my nipples really hard. I love him to pull my hair too. But, to be honest, and I get the sense that this is the same with a lot of BDSM practicing couples, the pain is only so wonderful because it is part of the submission. 

I'm a wimp with a really low pain threshold in day to day life. I hate hurting myself accidentally and I take paracetamol at the first sign of a headache. And it wouldn't turn me on if he just grabbed hold of me and hurt me. The pain is only a small part of the much greater whole. 

 I don't like the thought of pain for pain's sake, or of being cut, branded or scarred in anyway as a result of it. That's not for me. But if pain is an element of my total sexual submission, then give it to me, please...I'm begging on my knees...

From Dave
The amount of pain given or received is down to individual choice. Also, there are different types of pain. I've experimented with just about every part of my body and have found my preference to be the sharp pain you get from needle play or a thin cane that cuts the skin rather than bruising it. I also find knife play fun, especially if I'm tied, blindfold and am wearing ear plugs and the knife has been in the freezer for a couple of hours. 

I should emphasizeat this point that these games require a lot of care and should not be attempted by the novice. Medical provisions should always be close at hand in case of accidents and appropriate aftercare is absolutely essential, especially with regard to needle play and other invasive games. I'd also like to point out that I'm not a lifestyler, I'm just exploring my personal boundaries.

From Anonymous
I suffer chronic pain from arthritis, and during sex I love to be spanked hard. The medications I take dull the nerve endings and a few hard whacks kind of wake them up and leave the area much more sensitive to pleasure. I also like to be tied spread and blindfolded. Tied spread is excited and easier to maintain a sexual position that due to the arthritis can be impossible, plus that and the blindfold absolve me of responsibility for engaging in pleasurable acts that as children of conservation parents and society may other cause guilt or shame, such as anal play and toys. I do not like to be beaten or cut, or anything that could cause damage or long term pain. It's just fun.

From Pulchra
For me, the pain is very real. Not fake, not pretend, but real, with bruises and welts and bleeding. I can't say I "live the BDSM lifestyle" but I do occasionally engage in strongly disciplinary sex play where I am obviously the submissive partner.

Depending on who my partner is the activities vary, but I "enjoy" being punched, slapped, bitten to the point of drawing blood, and being beaten with hard or heavy objects, everything from a heavy textbook to the handle of a tennis racket. 

I don't enjoy pain in a non-sexual context. And most of the time I enjoy very tender and non-violent lovemaking that is completely devoid of any power issues.

Page:   1  |  2  |  3
___________________

Interested in this topic? Share your thoughts with us.

ALT.com
explore your darker side

  E-mail this page

Copyright © 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or
medium without express written permission is prohibited.