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From Just Watchin'
I think that if women would take a moment and understand the normal male's relationship with porn there would a lot less strife. Granted, anything taken to an extreme will harm a relationship. By all means, if your mate looks at porn all day everyday and ignores you, certainly, that's a problem. However, most males love to look at porn. The thing I wish women would understand is that it has nothing to do with you. It doesn't say anything how much he loves you, how much he loves having sex with you, how he thinks you look. It doesn't mean he'd rather have the women in the video or image. The reality is that his most energetic masturbation sessions are him imaging you and him doing the things he's seen in porn. Not him and the porn queen.

If he's not taking care of you, it has nothing to do with the porn, unless of course it's how much you are harassing him about it. There is some other problem to address. It's like masturbation. No matter how much he loves sex with you and how often you enjoy that, men still love to masturbate. Again, nothing to do with you. Any man that claims otherwise is lying. 

From Mike J
We love watching porn together, my wife loves to see guys wanking off, and recently when I asked her to choose the film she chose a lesbian one, and could not help but thrust her pussy out when the girls were locked in a scissor position, which almost made me shoot! Now she loves me to talk dirty to her about other girls taking her. Viva la porn!

From Kim
I've dealt with a porn addict. Just about every time he went to the bathroom, he pulled out the magazines and started jacking off. He would get up in the middle of the night to watch porn and jack off....even if we had sex earlier. I tried to accept it, to the point of telling him...."ok, I don't care if you do it, just don't keep it a secret." He still did and if I caught him in the act, he would deny it. Needless to say, I had all I could take and we broke up.

From Lover
Couple months ago my girlfriend told me she watches porn at home when I'm not there. I started to think why she would? And after I thought about it, it comes down to one hypothesis; Guys need to get a sexual high once in awhile, and so do girls. If a couple were to get married or live together, it may hurt the relationship if they learn each other watch porn secretly. Maybe when these situations occur, it may also mean that the lover is not satisfied with his or her sex.

For me, a guy, I am sure that if I were living with my girlfriend then I could throw away all my porn happily because a my lover is really be all I want in life. Maybe some relationships are being hurt because one side still watches porn because they want so called better women or men to have sex with. For guys that can't throw away porn when they get married then they should think over about why they love their wives. For couples that love to watch it together then I would say it is a good thing. But if one side loves it and the other side feels hurt about it then that's a big problem.

Does anybody realise that people in this world are too greedy and selfish, wanting better looking partners, or think they can get better sex, like performers in porn?

From Richard
Depends upon the relationship and the porn, to some extent, since it can be crass to insist on a partner 'sharing' something which is outside their own particular comfort zone. Watching or looking at porn in the hope that it will encourage your partner to see something as acceptable and engage in something they currently abhor is, in my view, less likely to succeed than careful, heartfelt discussion and perhaps some reference to a good guide to lovemaking.

We're talking about shared porn, I presume? Un-shared porn which results in him or her jacking off in the bathroom can't, I imagine, do much for a relationship, although there are circumstances in which it might be helpful.

In describing what works best for me I would hit the porn/erotica debate again, I think. One of the assets to my relationship is that I read my own writing to my wife. Reading to one another is one of the warmest acts of sharing anyway, I believe, innately cosy and intimate, and reading erotica to a consenting partner can be very stimulating to both, especially if the story is something which encourages re-enactment.

From Michael
Hello Group. This is my first time posting in the porn question part of the website...I spend most of my time in the breast/nipple section.

First I must introduce myself....I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair.....and yes porn is a big part of my sexual life. So for better or worse I use porn and hookers for my no I can't relate to the married people out there but I do get lucky and get the same hookers so in a way I am in a relationship so to speak and we get to know each others lives; so yes I see them as my friends and not just warm bodies.

And now you know me, so on to the topic. As I said I love porn on many different is a good thing. But here is the kick in the head.......I totally agree with all the women who says that hiding porn from your partner is truly a bad unhealthy thing to do and some guys out there will hate me for saying this....Porn under no circumstance should be hidden. Guys are sometimes afraid to tell their wives or girlfriends what they really want or need for fear of being seen as a freak or deviant and shunned from the women in their lives. But you can't keep secrets from women besides you just might get all your fantasies to come true.

From Julius
As ardent watchers of porn movies my partner and I agree they are for the most part trash, but find them nonetheless delightfully stimulating. The occasional excellent one makes the search fun. We usually go together to the XXX Store and spend as much as an hour trying to find something delightful. The covers are a useless guide and I often wonder if grabbing the first three would work as well (three seems to 'almost' guarantee one moderately good 'un.)

As for the original question? Well we're still together and sex is the oil for the machinery. Porn is about sex, sex is wonderful. Written and pictorial, I find it delightful as long as it's 'within my comfort zone'. Heavens, I (no, we) even write the stuff and call it erotica. It says here in my dictionary Pornography; writing, pictures, films etc depicting sexual activity with the intention of arousing sexual desire. Sounds great to me!

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