The Art of Role Playing

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From Todd
Damn, when I saw the subject heading 'role playing' I immediately went running to the study and got all my dice out along with my pens and paper.  Then I read the forum again noting that once again I had the wrong side of the coin and was thinking of a different type of role playing. So after sulking for a little while I returned the dice to the study and turned the mind to the other type of role playing.

Hmmmm....

Hmmmm....

I will have to think on this a little longer before offering my opinion on the subject. Then again I might just roll a D100, refer to the manual and see what comes up.

From Anonymous
My partner came home from a shopping spree, and gave me a fashion show as usual which she knows I enjoy. I love seeing her so excited about the things she buys. One outfit was a short plaid skirt, with knee length socks to match. I got an instant hard-on, and I mean from soft to hard in what seemed like a blink, not something that happens very often at my age. My partner asked what's wrong, must have been the look on my face. I told her with braids and blouse, she'd look like a sexy-as-sin school girl.

To make a long story short, she showed up one day at my door in the same outfit, but decked out with her blouse buttons opened seductively, and no underwear, not even panties. God help me, I swear I was mindless with lust and we played out a coy school girl and strict teacher game that including spanking and blow job that damn near killed me with pleasure.

Never in a million would I have thought I'd be turned on by such a thing, never even fantasized the girl/teacher scene while masturbating. Partner willing, we will do it again soon I hope.

From Tess
I have engaged in some role playing and I enjoyed it immensely.   When I role play, I become someone that I am not, and often someone I could never be.   Role play could involve costumes, settings, and props, but mostly it takes place in one's head.  True role play can be very intense if the parties involved really get into their characters with genuine desire and sincerity.

Several scenarios that others have described seem more like fantasies than role play.  One creates a scene in his/her mind and plays it out while masturbating or having sex or just daydreaming.  The dreamer doesn't want his/her partner to act out the scene.

Genuine role play usually involves characters engaging in behaviors inappropriate in the "real world".  The desires acted out are so dark and taboo that most folks do not feel comfortable sharing their experiences, myself included.

Role play can range from the playful/fun dressing up and acting out to the acting out of desires and expressing of needs that society labels as deviant.  The fun playful kind is pretty self explanatory and I think we are all familiar with how it works.

The more profound and intense type of role play where partners take on roles that would not be acceptable in society is a bit trickier. Often one is well aware of the roots of these needs.  Perhaps their beginnings were painful or shameful or embarrassing.  Yet, the desires and needs are there and the only way one can explore and express them in a safe way is through role play.

Sometimes needs and desires start as tiny seeds of curiosity.  They are cultivated through exploration and research.   An idea that may have seemed ridiculous, even repulsive, begins to sprout into "what-ifs" and "I-wonders".  Eventually the fantasy is allowed to bloom into a full blown "I want!"  The curiosity leads to interaction and engagement in ways one had previously thought impossible.

And, occasionally, things "just happen".   A couple may be well established in routines and follow societal norms for sexual interaction then - BAM!  Something changes.  For no apparent reason, one or both of the partners begin to take on a different role.  The role playing was not planned or fantasized, it just "became".

For a couple to engage in role play that involves relationships or behaviors which cross taboo lines in our modern society, the most important factor for success is trust.  I believe that the roots and motivators of role playing are not nearly as important as how and with whom one chooses to play out ones needs and desires.  When one chooses to share deep, dark, often misunderstood fantasies, there is much risk of being hurt, humiliated and/or taken advantage of.  Out of desperation, many will chose the wrong partner for role play.  Just because someone is willing to "play along", don't expect fulfillment and intimacy.  The trust has to be there and a deep understanding and connection has to develop between the partners for the role playing to offer maximum benefit.

Disclaimer- I'm not an expert on role playing.  I just play one on the Internet  :-)

From Adrienne
For me it's the cowboy scene. Dress my guy up in well worn hip-hugging jeans and chaps. He's got black leather motorcycle chaps that are sexy as unholy sin itself. Cowboy boots, spurs that jingle when he walks (yow!), low-slung belt and holster sporting a vibrator (hey, it's my scene, and my bang buzzes), hat sitting low on his forehead, and me - a bare ass naked floozy.

Tess, [see Tess' entry above] you brought up an interesting point - the difference between role playing and fantasy. My cowboy scenario was a combination of role play and fantasy that didn't pan out sexually. We were dressing for a Halloween costume party and in happened to hit on a long standing fantasy of mine. And, I have to admit, it ended up in gales of laughter, not sex. And that was the end of that fantasy, never to become role play or even the effort to make it a sexual role play.

I don't think it necessarily has to be behaviors inappropriate in the real world, or taboo pleasures. Although I suspect that's the case for the majority of role play, but surely it could be normal or mundane behaviors that some people wouldn't normally indulge in. For example, the husband and wife playing bar pick-up games and other such 'normal behavior' scenarios.

From Angela
I love horses and the role-play I enjoy involves them.

I bet that got your attention!

Actually the role play takes place in a stable.  I love the scents and textures found in a clean, well-maintained stable.  Horses have a unique scent that I happen to like.  Throw in the earthy aroma of fresh hay and the musk of well-oiled leather, I'm in heaven.

In my role play, my man is a trainer.  He is in tight blue jeans and a loose shirt, unbuttoned half way down his chest.  He carries a bridle slung over his shoulder, and a riding crop in one hand.  He finds me in the tack room bare as dawn except for a pair of riding boots and my velvet hunt cap.

Among the saddles, bridles, blankets and pads, and horses moving about in stalls a few feet away, the training begins.  Yummy leather and bondage games while surrounded by all those wonderful scents.  Oh yes...

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