Younger / Older Relationships

What are the Expectations?

Okay...so it finally happened. I met a guy and after a few dates, I finally managed to put a stop to the re-growth of my virginity.

This fella is only 34 - ten years younger than me. He's been married, had a typical number of lovers and seems open-minded and aware enough. The foreplay was great, but he was very passive once we got around to actually doing the deed.

This really troubled me, so I mentioned it to an online friend who happens to be male, and he said face it... as this guy is so much younger than me, it's inevitable that he's going to expect me to take charge and be the aggressive one.

So, I'll put it out to you all. Is it inevitable (or at least fairly predictable) that a guy 10 years my junior will expect an older woman to take charge?  And what about younger women and older men, what are the expectations?  —Anonymous

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.   —Groucho Marx

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From Anonymous
I lost my virginity when I was 21 to a 54 old woman. She was so sensitive and hot. She taught me the lust of sex and we had much pleasure. Even I am married now with a wife 5 years older than I, I still have encounters with older women. It's fun and good for my wife and our lust

From Alfred
In 1995 my wife and I retired early in our fifties and relocated from the UK to the Algarve. We lived initially in a hillside village but moved closer to the coast. It was much hotter and I suggested to my wife that as she had a slim figure and shapely legs she should start wearing mini skirts. At first she was very reluctant feeling she was too old for short skirts. But I was very keen and she cautiously bought two from a local shop.

Six months later she had a full wardrobe of mini skirts and a group of very keen young men, all Portuguese locals working in bars, clubs and restaurants, who were only too pleased to take her sailing, windsurfing, hang gliding, nude sunbathing as well as the non-tourist night clubs.

That summer my golfing handicap improved considerably and thanks to her experiences with her young men, my wife became a very horny lady and our own sex life entered a very torrid and satisfying period that continues today.

From Robert in Euless
Wow, I cannot believe I haven't responded to this topic sooner. Thanks to all those that have posted their experiences before me. It was an absolute pleasure to read each and every one. Older/younger has always been very important to the development of my own sexual choices.

Through elementary school my girlfriends were of my own age or younger. Early on, I discovered that I much preferred older women for my exploration. Although I lost my virginity at 14 to a slightly younger woman, I fooled around frequently with older women: my sister's friends, the young college women at the neighborhood pool during the summertime (located on a college campus) and cheerleaders attending the national cheerleading camp held on that site each summer. When I was 14-15, the average age of my sexual partners was 20-24. When I was 20-24, the average age of my sexual partners was 35-55. I did date the occasion female that was my age or younger, but only until something older and better came along.

I remember all of them with fond memories and am now engaged to a woman that while only 6 months older than me (I'm 42 now), they prepared me very well for someone only slightly older, but of far less sexual experience. They gave me the training and confidence to bring a brighter day to someone nearer my own age, but with very limited sexual experience. She had one partner from a young age before marrying someone 11 years her senior, then following her divorce had only a handful of partners around her some age before we met. What a combination--she's now coming into her sexual peak, but she has a slightly younger partner with a wealth of experience.

From Lyle
With ageing grizzlies like me and my wife looking slim, healthy and being very active, specially being as sexually active at 60 as we were at 30, we have both had younger people wanting to experience sex with us.  It's almost as if by having sex with us we will pass on to them some magic element that will keep them young, active and sexy through their years getting older.

So far, the sex we've had has been very enjoyable. For her part, my wife says that with most of the younger men she has partnered she has felt very much like a sex therapist, each of her young men learning much from her, and the experiences fortunately being of great benefit in our own lovemaking.

From Tim
My first blowjob was by a woman probably 20 years older than me. I was 16 at the time, my mom wasn't home and her friend came over to swim in our pool. I always though she was very sexy and she always flirted with me when my mom wasn't watching. She wore very revealing swimsuits and I couldn't help but get an erection.

I saw her glancing at my bulge and she came over and laid down beside me and started rubbing it. One thing lead to another and she took care of the situation. I was in HEAVEN! She made it perfectly clear that it was our secret and I never told anyone until now.

I had sex with her only a few times and she had to move for her job. I lived every boy's fantasy with her and I think about her often. I think the encounters with her strengenthen my confidence with women and I really think its a good thing for most boys if they have similar experiences.

From Anonymous
I met a man age 39 and I am 48...we both were looking for intimacy at the time we met and he is quite mature for his age. I feel because I was naive and he was more knowledgeable in sexual pleasures, we have been able to connect mentally and sexually. (opposites do attract)

I do agree that after a certain age (and maturity does count) when two people come together and find overwhelming chemistry, personality connection and can satisfy the desires mentally and sexually between each other they are a team and age is no longer a factor. We are good friends with benefits and I know we will be there for each other thru whatever changes occur in our lives.

He has taught me things of a new generation that I needed to know to be completely sexually satisfied. I have showed him the nurturing attention that he has not received in his love or sex life that he longed for.

Although neither of us plans a serious commitment other than friendship it surely was not something either of us will regret. We both share in each others wants and common views on sex, we are both compatible in personality and share in each others personal lives from afar...this has been something for us both that has been nothing but pleasurable and satisfying in many ways. We have made a bond between each other that possibly neither of us will ever share with anyone else in our lives. It is inspiring to have such a person in your life and although sex without commitment to some may not sound proper, it has enhanced both of our lives as individuals. It has given us both memories that we will alone share forever.

I personally believe the difference in age has helped this type of relationship work. Don't know that it could last this way as long as we live but I do know that we will always be connected and always be friends even after the benefits end.

From Anonymous
I can speak from experience for both sides. I'm 58 and currently have a 70 yr. old lover (I've posted on here about him regarding "water sports" and nipple suckling, both which he does so well.) The 70 yr. old doesn't act the way society expects a 70 yr. old to act. He loves oral sex, loves giving me multiple orgasms, loves the way I talk smut while we're fucking and he is learning to talk "dirty" to me as well. He's a professional, intelligent and we share so much in common. However, I don't want anything permanent, nor long term and he does . . .

Most men my age, act "OLD", have an "old mindset", are experiencing erectile dysfunction, haven't taken care of themselves, are often bitter due to being hurt in a divorce, etc.

I also have a young lover who is 23, but mentally is more like a 30 something man and I feel and think like a 30 something woman. We can talk, laugh, dance, are best friends, etc. Only recently did we both get a bit "tipsy" and ended up in bed together. He has a beautiful body and takes care of himself. He likes pleasing a woman and "made love" to me instead of just fucking. He explored every inch of my body, would not allow me to participate, such as in touching him, etc., he wanted to be in total control of my body and give me a mind blowing orgasm, which he did, after what seemed like hours of foreplay and I was "screaming" for release. He says age doesn't matter to him, that he likes my soul, my brain, my independence, the fact that I'm not a "silly young girl" that is insecure and is always calling, saying, "why haven't you called me?", etc. We plan to have fun as long as we both want it.

I'd have to say that even though my older lover is incredible, especially orally, I prefer the "youthful" body of my young lover and the fact that he can stay hard forever!

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