Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality

I was reading a few romance books to take my mind to another place. One thing I noticed was that when these women lost their virginity, the pain only seems to surface for a second before the feeling turns into earth shattering pleasure.

However, when I read other types of literature, I learn that this not true. The woman usually doesn't have a whole lotta fun and it takes a couple of tries to get the earth shattering feeling that these romance women get in just a few seconds.

Did anyone out there have romance book type experiences where the guy knows what he's doing to the the woman when it is her first time? Did the pain turn to pleasure ever so quickly as stated in the pages of the books I read? Is any of that true?

How about the guys? Men are almost always portrayed as knowledgeable and experienced. We know that's hardly the case. Don't be shy, tell us: were you nervous, uncomfortable, was your partner helpful, or scornful?    —Alyn Rosselini

I always thought of losing my virginity as a career move.   —Madonna

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From Shaikh
Well I was in my 7th grade at that time, and had never had a sexual experience before. There use to be a maid working in our house and one day I was sneaking up on her when I saw her stealing some money from my mom's draw. I shouted at her, she told me she has done nothing, I told her that I know you put the money in your bra, but she said no and then all of a sudden she asked me to check her myself and then I put my hands in her bra, and did not find anything.

Then she took of her bra, and asked me to check her panties which i did, but by that time I was rock hard and started sucking her breasts, then every thing is history, as then she became my sex teacher.

By the way, after that I use to steal the money myself and give it to her.

From Belle
My first time certainly seems like fodder for a romance tale.  The pain was brief, the pleasure infinite, and my partner slightly older and more experienced.  The setting was romantic, and we stayed in bed for 8 hours. 

I had just turned 18; my boyfriend (now my husband) was 20.  We had met online and I was head over heels in love before we met in person - I felt as though we'd had the first 10 dates or more in the two months of emails and calls leading up to the meeting.

On Valentine's Day, three weeks after we'd finally met/started dating, I told my mother I was spending the day with a girlfriend who'd just been dumped...instead I went to meet my boyfriend at his college apartment.  He surprised me at my car with a dozen roses, took me up to his apartment door and told me to close my eyes.

As I opened my eyes in his room, I saw that he'd covered his bed with rose petals, lit candles, and even made a play list on his computer complete with a burning fireplace screensaver.  Any doubts I had to his intentions were cast completely away, and nervousness, more than panic, began to set in.

Sometime right before my bra coming off, there was panic.  Slight, but nagging.  My racing thoughts were vague doubts about my attractiveness, nerves about the foretold pain of the act, and most of all, the disappointing knowledge that I was giving this up with no certainty of being truly loved by this man.

Even as I was plagued with these thoughts, my body was responding in a way not foreign, but still new, and very pleasing to both of us.  He paused over me; his hips poised, arms straight, and eyes so clear staring into mine...he lowered his head, kissed me softly and said my name as he told me he loved me.

He pulled back and said we could stop if I wasn't ready - I reached up and kissed him and let him glide into me, there were no more doubts.  He kissed me through the pain, and it was exquisite.  I was his last new conquest, he remains my only.

From Jack
In response to 17yomale, [see 17yomale entry below] I was 25 when I lost my virginity, which is considered way late. I was shy, and uncomfortable with the thought of meaningless sex, or having sex just because my friends doing it. And, to be perfectly honest, I was scared silly that I was going to do it all wrong, that I won't be able to satisfy the girl. I think that was the main reason I didn't have sex at an early age, fear of not doing it right.

When things started getting serious with a girlfriend, I got over my fear by reading a couple of sex guides, especially ones for young people. I learned alot about women's bodies, what to touch and why. Most important, I was honest with the girl I was with, told her I was inexperienced and would love to know what I was doing right, or wrong. And yeah, I shot right off before her, but it worked out ok because she still showed me what she liked, and we continued on with great success. I felt like a king.

So, 17yomale, start reading, learning, and keep in mind that good lovers are not born, they are well educated. And change your attitude, man, your first most likely won't be your one and only.

From Liz
So many women say how they bled the first time they had sex, and it hurt at first and the hymen broke and all that jazz. This experience is alien to me. I never bled or felt pain when I first had sex. The only time I feel discomfort is when a guy goes in before I'm wet enough. So I guess I'm just different. Either I never had a hymen, or mine is just really stretchy. Or maybe I broke it by accident as a child, and I just don't remember—although I think I would remember something like that.

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