Losing Your Virginity
Fiction Versus Reality

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From Anonymous
My first time was when I was 21 years old. My boyfriend was 3 yrs. younger but it didn't matter at all. To make a long story short it happened in a quite spot in the near by park.  In the back seat of his car.  I loved him and trusted him very much. There was lots of pain but no bleeding. He was very gentle with me. I don't believe that there is a way to escape the pain of sex for the fist time as a female. 

He and I are still together and very much in love. My advice is to wait. I know its hard to wait but it's so worth it. To lay down and give up all control is a very hard thing to do. I think that you need to trust the man 100% and able to communicate with him.  If not you will be sorry that you didn't wait.

Sex is a wonderful thing when you love one another. You can feel the spiritual part of it and not just the feeling of great pleasure. Young women please take my advice.

From Mary
I'd like to get my hands on the guy who took my virginity when I was a mere 15, he was 28. What did I know? Nothing. Yes the jerk was considerate, right up to penetration, then he went at it like a sex starved cave man.

One minute he's all like nice and gentle, and I was feeling a real nice sexual buzz, and the next minute he's slamming into me like a steam hammer and it hurt like hell. Then he's coming and groaning and grunting like a sweaty pig, cleans up and he's out of there like bat out of hell. Jerk.

And he's got the nerve to call a week later - a whole week! Looking for more sex no doubt. I told him to eat shit and die.

I guess I should be a bit thankful. He taught me to wise up, wait until I really know the guy before becoming lovers. A good man is worth waiting for, girls. Don't waste your sexuality on idiots who think with their dicks rather then their brains.

From Ruthy
I notice there aren't any stories about taking a bloke's virginity. I had got into my thirties having only had two-long term lovers, then a long term drought of several years. I met a shy guy at work, and we started dating and the night he got my bra undone I began to realise what a joy it is for a woman to offer a man what he has been craving.

One night after dinner I decided to invite him to stay over, and he agreed, we had been talking about it and I told him that it was for him to decide when he wanted to. When we got in he said he wanted to undress me so I let him. I thought I would be shy as I have a big tummy but he was just in awe, and I was getting so wet I couldn't believe it. Once we were in bed he fondled by bum and thighs, and then I finally got to feel his fingers on my muff. I was oozing and embarrassed and said, "Sorry, I'm a bit turned on." He said, so was he!

I decided not do do anything fancy, just get the deed done to build his confidence. I reached down to feel him and his penis was huge- I could feel it throbbing. I realised that it was going to be inside me and within a few minutes his semen was going to be in me too and our relationship would be different. I felt his glans touch my labia and then slip in and I spread my legs to encourage him to push it deeper. He began to thrust in and out, groaning in pleasure at the grip my slick fanny was squeezing around him. Finally his hips jerked and I felt his penis spurting hot semen up into my vagina. Suddenly I was no longer in control- he was the master and I was his girlie. The woman who knew how he groaned as he came.

From Anonymous
I lost my virginity this past weekend. My boyfriend was extremely gentle, and the only part that hurt was the stretching as my hymen was already broken.

I did not, however, feel a lot of pleasure. At all. It was kind of really really disappointing. I hope it gets better... it was just... dull, I guess. Were my expectations too high? It's not like he's small either, so I know that isn't the problem.

Also, I felt fine the next morning, but yesterday (I had sex on Sunday), I got really bad cramps. It hurts to pee and there was a very small amount of blood in my urine. Is this normal?

Other than that stuff, my first time wasn't good, but it wasn't bad either. PLEASE tell me it gets better.

From Joni Nicole
I was young when I lost it to a very loving and gentle man. He took the time to make sure that I was ready and when he gently put it in me it was heaven! Yes it did hurt and I did bleed a bit but the pain lasted just for a minute or two. The next morning I was just a little sore and he made love to me again. wow! After that first time wow! Even now at 52 I still enjoy the memory of a wonderful time.

From Cat
My first time was neither a horror story or mind blowingly amazing. To begin with it hurt so much that I couldn't even get his penis in, after a bit we tried again and it hurt but much less. As I accommodated him he moved in a bit further and further each time until he started thrusting very gently. It only hurt at the deepest part of each thrust, then that pain gave way, not to pleasure but to 'oh, its not too bad"! 

I was not with a guy I loved, just one that I liked - to be honest I just wanted to 'lose it' before I hit 20, and he was nice, gently and caring.

From Mary
Anonymous [see entry below], doesn't sound like your crazy to me. Actually you sound pretty level-headed about what went wrong and why. The only problem is that you think you let HIM down. For chrissake, what's with that?! You were the one hurting, upset, disappointed, not him. You didn't let him down. 

Why women feel they have to take the blame for lousy uncomfortable sex is simply beyond me. It's takes two to tango, so probably you both blew it (no pun intended), and both should shoulder the blame for a bad experience.

Figure if you (hopefully both of you) learned something from the lousy experience, then it's not a mistake anymore. 

From Anonymous
Wow...it really makes me feel so much better reading everyone else's postings. I just lost my virginity, I'm 19, and like a lot of others on this page, I was greatly disappointed. It was nothing like I ever imagined it would be. I didn't know the guy as well as I should have, not that he wasn't great. But I felt that it was a mistake. It hurt, quite a bit, and I was drunk. Wrong thing to do. 

Afterwards I slept, but woke up about an hour later...and felt paralyzed. Not really knowing what to do with myself. and feeling sorry that I started the whole thing in the first place. Too spontaneous. I felt like I let him down somehow because it wasn't the fairy tale that I thought it would be. Am I crazy?

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