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Inside the Erotic Mind

This Month's Hot Topic

Remember Your Best Orgasm?
Tell us about it

On-Going Forums


Blasphemous Fantasies
Why are they so titillating?

Could You, Would You?
3 fantasies to try on

Forced Fantasies
Right or wrong?

Men's Fantasies
Men dare to reveal

Women's Fantasies
Women dare to share

Your Fantasy 3some


Masturbation Memories
First experiences

Taking Care of Business
On the sly...or so you think

Oral Pleasures

Oral Sex for Her
Talk with your tongue

Oral Sex for Him
How to blow his mind

Swallow or Spit
What's a person to do?

The Taste of Cum
Yummy or icky?

Orgasmic Pleasures

Cum Shots
Cupid's liquid darts

Describe Your Orgasm
How Does it Feel? Don't be Shy...

Faking It
Why the deception?

Harnesses & Dildos...Oh My!
Pegging your partner

Oral Sex or Intercourse?
What is your preference

Keeping Abreast..

Breasts & Nipples
Do they drive you wild?

Erotic Lactation
Your thoughts?

Male Nipple Play
Men, are you into it?

Relationship Woes

Browsing for Cupid
Online love or heartache?

Sex After Marriage
Who's doing it...or not?

Why Do People Cheat?
Is the grass really greener?

Younger/Older Relationships
It's complicated...or is it?

Inquiring Minds

Women: During The Act
What do you think about?

Men: During The Act
What do you think about?

What do Women Want's not size

What do Men Want rhymes with 'vex'

Losing Your Virginity

Fiction Versus Reality

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From Another Male Perspective
Just thought people might be interested in another guy's first time experience - thanks to the first one for breaking the ice. The third woman I got it together with was eleven years older than me and very dominant. I just didn't feel like I had any way out. I knew I had to fuck her, and I knew that I had to keep doing it. What's more, I knew I had to give the impression of wanting it. So that's what I did. Big mistake. It was horrible for me, but she had no idea about that because I later found some of her poems online and the meaning wasn't very well disguised. 

Let me put it like this: I didn't have to fake orgasms, but I did have to fake enjoyment, and it looks like I faked it pretty well. (I'd say a lot of porn actors do the same; it can't be that much fun having sex in a brightly-lit studio, especially when there's a bunch of guys standing around.) What baffles me is how I got involved with her. I guess I was pretty insecure; a lot of guys are in their teens. 

Things aren't like that any more. I haven't seen her, or even had to think about her, for such a long time, and I'm so glad! I'm with someone who's just wonderful, and all that unpleasantness is in the past.

From Daniel
Guys are nervous too. I was young when I lost it, I just wanted to get it over and done with, so I rushed and made a embarrassment of myself, I felt nervous scared and excited all at the same time, I was more worried of what the girl thought of me and looking like a idiot then anything else.

From Liz
So many women say how they bled the first time they had sex, and it hurt at first and the hymen broke and all that jazz. This experience is alien to me. I never bled or felt pain when I first had sex. The only time I feel discomfort is when a guy goes in before I'm wet enough. So I guess I'm just different. Either I never had a hymen, or mine is just really stretchy. Or maybe I broke it by accident as a child, and I just don't remember—although I think I would remember something like that.

From Anonymous
My boyfriend and I of two months tried to have sex. We have talked about it before-hand so it wasn't unexpected, but we were both virgins so when it came down to it, we didn't know what to do. The pain was so unbearable I asked him to stop. He tried four times, each time the pain was a little less intense, but I just couldn't handle it. He listened and didn't hold it against me that we didn't finish. We have talked and decided we need more time next time. I'm just so afraid of not being able to take the pain.

From Bernie
I lost my virginity at age 17. My girlfriend was 19. She was a virgin too. It was in the front seat of my Ford Pinto. I know those of you who  remember that vehicle are wondering how that happened. It was on desolate dead end street of a housing development under construction. I think it hurt her a little but not for long. Subsequent sessions were much better. I didn't last very long. As I ejaculated a pall washed over me as the words of my parents telling my sex was bad echoed in my head. Hormones were stronger then my parents words though.

Sex for me and sex for her were different. I was a young man with raging hormones, yes, but a plan for my future. The future included college and career. Was I in love and did my future include her? I hadn't thought out the relationship that far. I was sincerely in love at the moment. She had apparently thought about the relationship and her career. Her career was me. I think the moment we had sex, she felt like we were going to together forever. The reality was neither of us were mature enough to know what we wanted forever. We were together about six or eight more months before I graduated and headed off to college. I broke it off before I left for college. It ended badly. I didn't miss her and still don't.

From Christian L. Ambrose
I did not experience pain myself and there were no huge fireworks. It was also incredibly awkward as it was his first time too. He kept falling out and other weirdness so we finally gave up, snuggled, talked and eventually drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I climbed on top and went for a ride until he came, which didn't take long at all. It was interesting and sex did get better as we both learned more about it from personal experience. I did not expect much in the way of fireworks and did expect a little pain.

Of course, I lost my virginity about 1.5 years ago and I am 30 now. I am currently with this guy and we are mates and best friends rolled into one. We are very serious about each other. I was determined that I would either wait until I was married or until I found someone with whom I would spend the rest of my life with. As a friend of mine pointed out, I am as good as married.

Sex is a lot of fun and I have had some great orgasms but I wouldn't say it's the best thing in the world. Another friend equated it with a full body massage and she is kinda right. I still enjoy snuggling and talking more than sex. Having said that, I don't anticipate returning to celibacy anytime soon.

From Lacey
My boyfriend is a few years older than me and much more experienced. We've been dating for 6 months and for a long time we'd put sex off, doing everything in between. I knew he'd wanted to have sex soon after we started giving each other oral, but I knew I wasn't ready. But after waiting for awhile he finally asked if we could and I said yes. The first time we tried it didn't work, not for lack of trying or lack of fore-play, he just couldn't fit and when he tried too hard to fit himself in, I was brought to tears.

It took almost two weeks of trying for him to finally get himself in and honestly it still hurt a lot. I didn't get any pleasure out of it, other than knowing we'd finally done it, and I had bleed. Even the next day I was still sore. But the next time we did it it felt better, and better then next. So all in all I'm glad we waited and that I waited for someone I truly care about and trust

From Sam
I was seventeen at the time and the girl who gave me this experience was nineteen. We were making out, with some dry humping, removing each others clothes, and I was fingering her and she was stroking my cock. She pushed me onto my back and straddled me, then took my cock and slid her pussy down on it. I watched as it parted the labia lips through her bush, and disappeared partially in her. She started to move her hips and I could feel her pussy moving against my cock. I started to pump also and it felt so good to be moving deeper into her. I only lasted a minute and then I felt my cum squirting out filling her pussy. She milked me dry and I was now no longer a virgin. She taught me so much about fucking before we moved on.

From No Pain, Much Gain!
Ladies, ladies ladies. Do not ever have sex if you are not ready, and truly in the mood. Being mentally and emotionally prepared for sex is the only way to have a pleasurable—at least non-painful—first experience.

I lost my virginity during a one-night-stand with a sexy, confident, experienced and satisfying man. It was the 2nd semester of my freshman year in college and he was the best friend of my friend's boyfriend. We never talked again, but that evening remains one of my most enjoyable sexual experiences. He was approximately four years my senior (22), and very smooth. Foreplay is key—good foreplay! He did not know I was a virgin, but continued to take his time to get me in the mood. To make a long story short, I was extremely aroused before he went below the border. By the time he started fingering me, I was so wet and so open, I could hardly feel his fingers, and believe me—my pussy was tight. By the time his penis finally entered me, my mind was reeling! As soon as he entered and began thrusting, I felt like my head was going to explode. I can honestly say that I've never had such a (near) orgasmic experience since then (kind of sad, I know).

From Teresa
I always found the concept of virginity kind of baffling. My first boyfriend and I did practically everything together except intercourse (mostly due to lack of birth control). And somehow because we hadn't done that one specific act we were virgins? Silly.

I think because we were so comfortable with each other that when we finally did "lose our virginity" it wasn't painful. I found it kind of weird, not really exciting, except that watching his response was fun. It wasn't until much later, when I went on the pill, that I began to understand the appeal of the whole thing. I think anxiety about pregnancy plays a role in women's feelings about intercourse. Biology and society being as they are, women feel the risk of (unplanned) pregnancy more acutely than men do.

From Greg
I had been seeing this girl for awhile and we had fun fooling around. Lots of making out and she didn't mind me feeling her tits at all. She was also the first girl that let me finger her pussy. This was the first time I had been nude with her. I felt my cock against her nice panties and we started to hump each other for awhile. Then I moved my hand under her panties to feel how damp she was. I pulled off her panties had a nice fingering session. Then I was laying on her feeling my cock against her nice bush. We continued to hump for awhile like that it was feeling really good. It then felt slightly different but better and I wasn't sure why, but couldn't stop humping. My cock had actually slide inside her and I was now fucking her enjoying her vagina wrapped around my cock. I finally felt that great feeling and released my first squirt of cum. I kept on pumping with each pulse and had my first orgasm from fucking. I wasn't sure what had happened until after and thought about it. I realised I had actual had my cock in her pussy and it was my first fuck ever.

From Emily
I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of about two months. We actually did it in his car (classy, right?). I'm glad to say that despite the location, it was overall a positive experience. I told him I was really nervous, and he told me that he was too, (he was a virgin as well). He left the final decision up to me, which I think was really respectful. I could tell that despite his nerves, he really really wanted to do it, and even though I had heard that it would most likely be extremely painful, I wanted to do it too. After removing our underwear, we held each other for a minute, which gave me some time to mentally prepare for what was about to happen.

It didn't take too long for him to penetrate me the first time. It hurt so much that I dug my nails into his back and gritted my teeth. But even though I was in pain and did not have an orgasm, I had this amazing feeling of closeness and trust with him that was like nothing I had ever experienced.

And now for some advice for those thinking about loosing their virginity: Before you have sex, I think the most important thing you and your partner need is mutual respect and trust. Sex is a big deal, so don't do it until you feel completely ready. If your partner pressures you or tries to rush you, that's a sign that they only care about themselves, not about you or your feelings.

From Anonymous
I lost my virginity when I was 16 years old to an older guy. I was at his house and we were just chillin', watching movies. We started talking and I suggested that the movie was boring so he turned it off. We started kissing and engaging in foreplay (which was interesting)..we stopped and he asked me if I was a virgin..I told him yeah.  So he said what's up? and I was sitting there like wtf...after a minute or two of silence we engaged in foreplay he asked me if he could be my I was like I don't know. So he said you always remember your I gave in and I lost my virginity that night.

After the first few minutes of hurt so much I had to scoot back on the bed so I could breathe for a second. He didn't get in all the way and we didn't have an orgasm, but I bled. My first time is something I'm not too proud of because I felt that I should have waited for that special person. I cried a lot that night...he wasn't anything to me and I wasn't anything to him either.

From Stacy
I was 14 when I lost my virginity.  To be honest, it was with a guy I had just met (he had no idea I was a virgin).  A total one night stand. I was (and still am) an avid reader of romance and erotica stories so I was expecting fireworks and for the earth to move.  None of that happened and I was highly disappointed. 

Highly disappointed that is, until I met my steady high school sweetheart about a year after I lost my virginity.  He was the first one to bring me to orgasm.  The earth really did move and I really did see fireworks. I've LOVED sex ever since.

From Trisha
I lost my virginity at 14 to a slightly older boy. Well, he was big and I was really tight and it hurt like hell, even with lube. I would have never thought that it would become so pleasurable. Each time we had sex it hurt less, until it didn't hurt at all. I am now 36 and it seems like I am horny all the time. And yes, I do like a well endowed man. So to all the girls, yes it might hurt some but after a few times you're going to love it!

From Anonymous
My first time was when I was 21 years old. My boyfriend was 3 yrs. younger but it didn't matter at all. To make a long story short it happened in a quite spot in the near by park.  In the back seat of his car.  I loved him and trusted him very much. There was lots of pain but no bleeding. He was very gentle with me. I don't believe that there is a way to escape the pain of sex for the fist time as a female. 

He and I are still together and very much in love. My advice is to wait. I know its hard to wait but it's so worth it. To lay down and give up all control is a very hard thing to do. I think that you need to trust the man 100% and able to communicate with him.  If not you will be sorry that you didn't wait. Sex is a wonderful thing when you love one another. You can feel the spiritual part of it and not just the feeling of great pleasure. Young women please take my advice.

From Joni Nicole
I was young when I lost it to a very loving and gentle man. He took the time to make sure that I was ready and when he gently put it in me it was heaven! Yes it did hurt and I did bleed a bit but the pain lasted just for a minute or two. The next morning I was just a little sore and he made love to me again. wow! After that first time wow! Even now at 52 I still enjoy the memory of a wonderful time.

From Cat
My first time was neither a horror story or mind blowingly amazing. To begin with it hurt so much that I couldn't even get his penis in, after a bit we tried again and it hurt but much less. As I accommodated him he moved in a bit further and further each time until he started thrusting very gently. It only hurt at the deepest part of each thrust, then that pain gave way, not to pleasure but to 'oh, its not too bad"! I was not with a guy I loved, just one that I liked - to be honest I just wanted to 'lose it' before I hit 20, and he was nice, gently and caring.

From Anonymous really makes me feel so much better reading everyone else's postings. I just lost my virginity, I'm 19, and like a lot of others on this page, I was greatly disappointed. It was nothing like I ever imagined it would be. I didn't know the guy as well as I should have, not that he wasn't great. But I felt that it was a mistake. It hurt, quite a bit, and I was drunk. Wrong thing to do. 

Afterwards I slept, but woke up about an hour later...and felt paralyzed. Not really knowing what to do with myself, and feeling sorry that I started the whole thing in the first place. Too spontaneous. I felt like I let him down somehow because it wasn't the fairy tale that I thought it would be. Am I crazy?

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