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From Marie
I guess the word is 'club'. When we have swung on the odd occasionm we've done so at a private party in a house where we've known most of the couples (other long time marrieds like us). At a swing club, five years ago, we found the atmosphere definitely more urgent, threatening, more exploitative, the couples younger (we're mid fifties) and we were very disappointed. So, if you wish to swing our advice is - steer clear of clubs, home in on private parties your friends hold.

From Christian Brinner
From our experiences and other things that I hear, the cliquism at swing clubs seems to be a pretty consistent theme. They seem to be fairly close communities, and I've heard a lot of complaints from others that the cliques aren't quick to welcome the newcomers.

Unless, of course, the newcomers include a cute young chick that everyone in the clique wants to boff on first sight.

Teresa [see Teresa's entry below] reminded me of something else as well—my wife and I are both 30, and at both clubs we visited I'd say we were very far on the young end. The median age seemed to be about 45, with the vast majority of folks between 40 and 50. That may just be a common demographic in our area, though.

From Teresa
I went to one once. It was a swing club party at someone's house. I'll tell you what happened. I was 20, everyone else there was at least twice my age and kept referring to me as "the baby" which didn't do much for me. Four guys were relentlessly trying to get me to "play" and I didn't want to. I just wanted to check it out for my first time. It was rather annoying and I wasn't sure who the right people were to tell that I was being bothered.

Mostly the women were coupling up or three-ing up with some men mixed in. A lot of the men were chatting around the punch bowl. A few instances of sex, but mostly people chatting or watching. I left relatively early and apparently it got a little "wild" later on, as I was told. I may go again, but my first experience was not so good. It also seemed like everyone knew each other, so maybe you should go to the club or the meetings and familiarize yourself with the people before you go to a party. Who knows? Just one girl's account.

From Dave
In Sydney we were given a flyer advertising a lifestyle club so we decided to go along. Cut a long story short, we met another couple, went to a room in the club, swapped partners and had an enjoyable time with no pressures. My wife sucked off her partner while his wife was more keen on me providing basic virginal sex. We went again, this time I did get fellated, while my wife got it anally.

Result? We met them again, this time in our hotel and reprised the fun we'd had at the club. Back home we searched the net and met with both couples and singles and for a year or so we had a great time swinging, our own sex life improving considerably until we felt we didn't need external stimulus any longer and ended our swinging period.

From Lori
Look, don't over-intellectulize it. We're in our early fifties, married for 25 years and we've just swung, and boy did we enjoy it, like blowing away cobwebs! We went to a partner swap party, met some couples our age, background, interests etc. Our premise was simple - have some enjoyable sex with people we don't know, may never meet again, enjoy it, have some fun! And we did. I had vaginal/anal/oral sex with three men I'd never met before and it just opened my mind and in all the fun I learnt a lot which I then took to the marriage bed for sex with hubby! We don't plan to do it every week but do it again we certainly will!

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