Strap It On, Ladies!
How to use a dildo harness
by Ann Whidden

Strap on sex…for those who love penetration, sometimes there’s nothing better than a harness and dick for getting you off. Contrary to silly old stereotypes, women of all kinds fuck with and get fucked by strap ons: femmes and butches, bi’s and dykes, andros and those anywhere on the gender scale can strap one on. In recent years, we’ve seen a swell of interest in heterosexual women buying strap on harnesses to anally penetrate men (often referred to as “bend over boyfriend”, learn more about this from the Bend Over Boyfriend DVD or Babeland’s own How To Bend Over Your Boyfriend).

Sounds great, but what straps on where, exactly? And, um, then what? If you’re all ready to step into that harness and wow your gal or guy with your packin’ prowess, we’re here to provide you with the tips to make you both happy in the saddle.

• Getting one. Harnesses typically come in a thong style or a two-strap style that wraps around the place where your butt meets your thigh. If you’re planning on wearing a dick with balls, then you will probably find the two-strap style the best choice. And harnesses can be as much about fantasy and fashion as they are about function: from our girly Pleasure Principle Harness to our studly Black Cat Harness, there is a harness that will make you look as sexy as you feel. Our two most popular (because they are gorgeous, comfortable and versatile) are the Jaguar Harness and the Terra Firma Harness. Dildos come in all shapes and sizes—choose your favorite, just make sure it has a base to keep it in place, and that it’s not too thick for your harness opening (or your partner!). If you want a good all ‘round strap on dildo harness kit, consider the Bend Over Beginner Kit, or the Jaguar Harness and Leo Dildo Combo Kit. For more detailed info on selecting the right rig, read How to choose a harness. More info on dildos can be found in How to choose a dildo.

• Getting it on. Fit is important, for both the harness wearer and the happy penetratee—a harness that isn’t properly adjusted means more work (and less pleasure) for both of you. So give that harness a dress rehearsal prior to the Big Event, and make sure you know how to adjust it quickly and easily. You’re looking for a pretty snug fit, so that you can really control the in/out movement of your dildo, but you don’t want any of the hardware tightly pressing into your flesh or bones. (If you tend toward the larger side, check out the comfortable Crown Harness.) Once you’re got on your gear, do some deep knee bends or lunges to see how it moves with you (make sure your curtains are closed). Once you’ve figured out a good fit, either keep wearing your harness ‘til you need it, or undo just one strap and step out of it. That way, when you’re ready to use it you’ll only have to re-adjust one side.

• Getting it in. Lube is essential to your success, so lube up you own cock as well as your girl or guy, and get ready to ride. Use your hand to guide your dildo into your partner—don’t just try to stuff it in. The best angle for penetration can really vary based on your body sizes, so try some different positions and see what works. For women on women, a great position for beginners is with the fuckee straddling you and riding you from the top—she is controlling the in and out and how much she wants to take while you get to enjoy the show. A doggy-style position provides an easy angle for anal or vaginal penetration. Does your dick have a curve to it? If you’re fucking from behind, you might have better luck turning your dick so the tip points towards the ground. Looking for tips? Try Hard Love/How to Fuck in High Heels for sexy examples of all kinds of women strapping it on with dildo harnesses.

• Getting it ON! Fun fucking with a stap on harness is really about the rhythm, and that rhythm is all about the hips. Pretend you’re fucking from your tailbone and ass, not just your cock. Imagine that dick is part of your body. Grab your partner’s hips or ass and use them for leverage. Put on some good music. Practice. Keep popping out? When you’re first getting used to harness fucking, don’t pull out too far or too fast—your dick is more likely to slide right out and break the rhythm. Try more shallow thrusts until you feel comfortable, or try grinding in circles right up against your partner instead of the old in out. Cock too long? Wrap your hand around the base while fucking. Let your partner do the moving so she or he can control how deep the penetration is. Next time use a bumper, like a foam doughnut, between the base of the dick and your harness. For more tips on strap on sex, see Sex Toys 101 or the Whole Lesbian Sex Book.

• Getting off. As great as fucking is for getting off, lots of women still need some clit action to get over the top. If you’re the harness wearer, tuck a small, bullet vibe between harness and clit, try this Buzz Me dildo harness that comes with a handy vibrator pouch. To give the receiver a little buzz strap on a vibrating dildo. Silicone dildos are not only very comfortable and lifelike, they also transmit vibrations well. A vibrating cock ring slipper around your dick can deliver a buzz to two women, especially if you’re wearing a two-strap harness that leaves your clit exposed. While you’re fucking your partner’s brains out, give her or him a vibe—a fingertip vibe will easily accommodate a variety of positions. Do you or your partner dream of double penetration? Try the Ménage a Trois Fantasy Kit to double the fun. Or enjoy anal penetration by slipping in a butt plug.

Looking for a little demonstration? Check out the strap on scenes in Crash Pad, Erocktavision, or the Masseuse, learn technique in the Bend Over Boyfriend DVD or the Ultimate Guide to Strap On book. Our best advice? Don’t take it too seriously—have fun, and practice, practice, practice!

All toys available at Babeland

© 2007 Babeland. All rights reserved.

  E-mail this page

Copyright © 1996 and on, Erotica Readers Association, Inc.
All Rights Reserved World Wide.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.