Men, Enjoy Your Toys
Expand Your Pleasure
by Anne Semans

Let me explain right off the bat that this isn't going to be a column about toys typically associated with men. No power tools, no sporty cars, no fast computers. I'll leave those topics to Details and Esquire, and describe instead the kinds of playthings that get right to the heart of pleasure: sex toys.

But before I talk about the toys, let me talk about men's attitude towards sex toys. Of course there are plenty of self-aware, sex positive men who are happily playing with toys on a regular basis. But because I love to generalize, I'd say that when it comes to sex toys, men tend to fall into two camps: those who think 1) toys are an insult to my manhood, or 2) I like 'em but I'll never admit it.

My first boyfriend falls squarely into camp number one. When I went to my twentieth high school reunion and told him that I sold sex toys for a living, he replied, "I don't need those things, I'm huge." Of course my response was the time-honored, "It's not what you have, but what you do with it that matters, and sex toys let you do a whole lot more with it." But what he said rings true for many men: in the bedroom you shouldn't need anything but what you were born with, otherwise it's a sign of failure, inadequacy, or downright wimpiness.

There are a lot of guys in camp number two, experimenting with sex toys, which explains why it's a billion dollar industry. But you don't see any Home Depot-sized stores full of cock rings, sleeves and vibrators. No, most people who want a sex toy have to don a disguise so they won't be recognized entering the local XXX video store. Sure, they might emerge with a toy that'll bring them orgasmic delight, but they'll most likely experience it as a guilty pleasure, given the secrecy and shame our culture has long associated with sexuality. 

Regardless of whatever camp you're in, you're entitled to a great sex life. Getting it means letting go of insecurities, shutting out negative sexual messages, and just focusing on what brings you pleasure. Sex toys help you learn more about your sexual responses, and they expand your potential for pleasure. Who wouldn't want that? So I'm putting out a call to all men, to take matters into their own hands—so to speak—and try on a little sexual diversity!

I'll describe a few sex toys and how they can enhance your solo or partnered sex play. You can find an extensive list of intriguing men's sex toys at Babeland.com's Toys for Men 

• Masturbation Sleeves
• Cock Rings
• Anal Toys

MASTURBATION SLEEVES

I must admit, before writing my book, The Many Joys of Sex Toys, I just figured all men masturbated with their hands. While this is a classic method, I heard from countless men who employed everything from couch cushions, toilet paper rolls, and knotholes in the floor to get off. Today, you don't need to worry about stains or splinters; you can get your rocks off safely with something called a "sleeve." 

Intended to recreate the experience of a penis in a vagina, sleeves are simply tubes into which your penis is inserted. Squirt a bit of lube inside to make the sleeve more comfortable, particularly if you'll be thrusting in and out of it. 

Toys to try:

Fleshlight
The Fleshlight has been hailed as the ultimate male masturbation toy by those who know best — men who've used it. Made of a soft silky material that feels almost as good as real skin, the Fleshlight is a penis sleeve intended to recreate the feeling of a penis in a vagina (and this one does with remarkable success). With the lid on, the discreet Fleshlight resembles an oversized flashlight in transparent casing, but twist the lid off and a realistic vulva appears. Has a removable base for greater length or vibe insertion; made of phthalate-free "Reel Feel Super Skin."

 

Monkey Spanker
More than just a vibrating jack-off toy, this deceptively simple device will have you spanking your monkey and spanking your honey. Add a squirt of lube to the firm but velvety-soft silicone ring and wrap it around the penis; use the handle to slide it up and down while the included vibrator buzzes softly. The clever design means it also doubles as a lightweight paddle, plus the gentle, waterproof mini vibe slips out for separate use.

 

Blossom Sleeve
Water your flower with our latest masturbation sleeve for men. Made of very soft, pliable jelly rubber, this sleeve with the pretty bloom at the entrance is contoured on the inside to feel like the walls of the vagina. Lube it up with water based or silicone lube, insert your penis and enjoy the exquisite sensation. Four inches long, but extremely stretchy.

 

Marverick
After a long day’s work, come home and slip into something more comfortable—the tantalizing Maverick penis sleeve. The cushy, soft elastomer sleeve fits snugly on virtually anyone, while nubby tendrils lining the inside stroke every inch of your cock. And though it’s not what the Maverick was designed for, we liked turning it inside out —so the nubbies face out—and letting our partners enjoy extra stimulation during vaginal penetration. 

 

Cybersleeve 
Say goodbye to your right hand and hello to your new best friend. The silky fleshlike material of the cyberskin masturbation sleeve offers a range of stimulations with a variable speed vibrator (something not even the most adept hand job can provide!). A vibrating silver bullet tucks into the tip of the deliciously pliant sleeve and creates gentle vibration along the shaft and a more specific stimulation on the sensitive tip of the penis. 

COCK RINGS

These are rings designed to fit around the base of the penis and the scrotum, restricting blood flow out of the penis. The resulting pressure can be very pleasurable and can heighten sensation in the penis and testicles. Since cock rings act to constrict the veins that would allow blood to drain out of an erection, some men find that wearing cock rings prolongs their erection or even makes their erection firmer, a side effect that can enhance intercourse for both parties involved. Said one satisfied user, "My most enjoyable sex toy is a cock ring. It's interesting and adds about two hours until my orgasm, and when I come—Wow, Bam, Pow, Shazam." As for me, I think cock rings are VERY sexy on men. My definition of a well-dressed man is one who's wearing nothing but a leather cock ring.

Toys to try:

Tie Your Own Cock Ring
One size excites all, with this do-it-yourself cock ring that makes tying one on, and getting one off, a snap. A very soft cyberskin tube stretches up to six feet—just wrap it around balls and cock and tuck a piece of the ring back under itself. Release the ring with one quick tug on the free end when you’re ready to come. The simple easy-to-release styling makes it easy for newcomers to experiment with the orgasm-expanding effects of cock rings. Purple, red or glow-in-the-dark cyberskin.

 

Black Megastretch Cock Ring
This baby can s-t-r-e-t-c-h! Small and sexy, this one inch black pliable rubber ring stretches up to four times its size as you pull it over the penis and behind the testicles for the classic squeeze that many men enjoy. The ring comes with a variety of nubble shapes.

 

Velcro Leather Cock Ring
This leather strap is our all-purpose, adjustable model. Its velcro or snap closure allows for speedy removal, should you need it. An excellent first cock ring. 

With the addition of a vibrator on one side of the ring, the classic cock ring gets taken to a whole new level. Now the toy can be introduced to a partner—the man puts the cock ring on with the vibrator part facing up, and during vaginal intercourse it will vibrate the woman's clitoris (while also vibrating his penis). This is great for women who need a little more stimulation during penetration. Experiment with thrusting depth and frequency, if a woman requires more direct clitoral stimulation, both partners should remain somewhat motionless once the penis is inside her, or the man can try shallow rocking, rather than thrusting.

Alternately, you can flip some of these toys upside down so the vibrator is underneath the penis and facing inward. This stimulates the testicles during partner or solo play. As one happy customer exclaimed, "Love the cock ring vibrator—I swear I'm having a whipped cream ejaculation!"

Toys to try:

Orbit Ring
Celestial pleasures beckon with the deluxe battery operated Orbit Ring Vibe. The stretchy soft jelly rubber ring goes over the penis and testicles (or just over the shaft if you prefer). Set the strong variable speed to your liking, and blast off! Turn the vibrator downward for vibration on the testicles, or turn it up during partner sex with a woman to provide her with intense, consistent clitoral stimulation during penetration.

 

Sonic Ring Kit
Blast into orbit with this new toy! But don’t let the tough-guy spikes fool you, this pliable cock ring is really a softy. Made of pillowy jelly rubber, the nubs, spokes and spikes encasing the ring add "ohs" not "ouches" to every thrust. Want to take it up a notch? Add strong vibration by tucking in a waterproof Sterling Vibe.

ANAL TOYS FOR PROSTATE STIMULATION

Any toy used anally should have a flared base, to keep it from slipping all the way into the rectum. For an in/out sensation, look for a dildo, a toy that is the same diameter all along the shaft. If you want to leave your toy in place while you do other things, look for a plug that bulges just before the base, allowing your anal muscles to grip it. And use lube—lots of it. The anus is not self-lubricating, so a thick, stay-put lube (try Maximus) will make any anal play more pleasurable.

Toys to try:

Aneros Prostate Stimulator
Men, if you want an orgasm like no other, the Aneros Prostate Stimulator can deliver the goods. Its unique design stimulates the prostate both internally and externally, which can result in incredibly intense orgasms. The insertable portion is smooth, blunt, and curved for targeted access. The curly handles allow the wearer or a partner to rock the toy back and forth, and the long forward handle presses into the perineum (the area between the anus and balls) creating added stimulation to the internal root of the penis. This clever toy is designed for men's bodies. We've gotten rave reviews of this amazing anal innovation.

 

Pandora Vibrator
Open a Pandora's box of bedroom fun with the versatile Pandora vibe. The Pandora is coated in smooth, supple silicone for a comfortable fit, and has a bullseye curve for hitting the P-spot. The canoe-shaped bottom keeps Pandora in place while stimulating the perineum, and with a mere tap of the easily accessible button on the base bottom you can send your senses into overdrive by selecting one of seven vibration speeds and functions—from a low pulse to a fast purr.

 

Tail Light
Back up your butt and park it on one of these clear acrylic plugs. The narrow neck and oval flange help lodge the Tail Light securely in place so you can wear it while engaging in other activities. The hard acrylic feels particularly good against the prostate, and the smooth surface makes moving it in and out nice, too.

All set men? Go out and give these toys a try!

 
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