Come Versus Cum
and the correct spelling is...

I've seen a lot of stories here over the last couple of months and have noticed the use of numerous references for the delight of orgasm. In particular I've seen and have used the word "cum" or "cumming" reference this wondrous moment in time. I've seen at least a dozen other references to it as well, but the sound of "cum" or "come" has the sound of something urgent. Hmmm, maybe not urgent but has that ring of something lustful to it.

Webster defines "cum" as: together with; or plus

I was hoping there would be somebody on the list who could set the record straight. I personally hope "cum" is OK, actually I think it is wonderful and addicting, but I mean OK to use it in prose and poetry.

What say you ERWA citizens? —SloKiss

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From Catherine
I use the word 'come' as a verb only, and choose another word for the end result (usually plain old 'semen'). I never use 'cum'. I think it looks ignorant.

From Bunstuffer
Anonymous said [see entry below - scroll way down]: One of the characters is to be a teenage girl forced into prostitution at her uncle's saloon who runs away.  I think I'll wait for the movie. The running saloon is something that must be enjoyed visually. Besides the painful construction of the sentence does not bode well for the book.

Now, as far is cum is concerned, I think the urgency of the moment of climax might forgive a little foreshortening of verbiage, don't you think?

I mean, it's hardly likely that he would say, "Oh, I say Virginia. I do think that I may, perhaps, be about to achieve an orgasmic release. Fair warning re the bed sheets, eh?".

Instead it would probably be closer to, "Quick! Plug yer fingers in yer ears baby, 'cause I'm gonna fire a gallon of cum up your pussy!"

From Shona Hamilton
Just wanted to say that I've been fascinated by this line of discussion. Personally I think of "cum" as boy talk behind the bike sheds and only use it in my writing in those (and similar) situations. I prefer "come", it sounds less harsh, and to me more pleasant. Does that smack of a middle class up bringing? Certainly my parents would have disapproved of cum. But then they would probably disapprove of all my stories, that's life!

From Toni
Kate [see entry below],  'cum' is a noun, 'come' is a verb. That's why "he's cumming' is incorrect and pronounces, very clearly, that the writer is ignorant of correct English.

From Kat
As a legal writer, I feel compelled to give my take on this. As used in today's vernacular, both "cum" and "come" are acceptable to describe the fruits of completed sexual activity.

It has been my experience that "cum" more properly defines the ejaculate of the male. When one is approaching the climax of the act, it is usually said that one is "having a come," or "coming."

In the United Kingdom, a person who is about to reach a climax is said to be "about to spend." 

However, in an old English limerick

There was a man from King's Cross
Who amused himself frigging a horse....
As he licked the spend
that dripped from the end...
he said, "MMMMMmmm..."
It tastes like anchovy sauce!

In this case, the "spend" is refering to the ejaculate.

Lenny Bruce said "To is a Preposition, Come is a Verb." So the question begs, "What is "cum?" Is it a verb or a noun?

From Meri
I have a serious problem as writer with ANY word spelled incorrectly, and a bigger problem with it being done intentionally. I would expect any editor, including those editing erotica, to toss a manuscript presented less than professionally. Dictionaries are pretty cheap!

From Anonymous
Cum v. Come, which is correct? is a non-question. Both are slang words for the act of either a) having an orgasm or b) the ejaculation which naturally occurs when a male has an orgasm. Since neither is technically correct, why debate the spelling? Either is fine, although I personally prefer "cum" myself. But that's simply a personal preference. 

When I read or write erotica I generally want the smuttiness or dirtiness of the story and the sex acts described to be emphasized. But again, that's just me. For some people, writing or reading some stories, they may desire that other things are emphasized. Like a particular romantic feeling between the characters. Then "come" might be the more appropriate spelling.

From William Laurence
It goes deeper than mere spelling. Someone used the word 'erudite'. Great observation since (however sadly) few writers of erotica can lay claim to that description of themselves. I find it crude and a clear demonstration of one's inability to use the language; it ranks with insipid descriptions like "the head of it" and 'ball sac'; or disgusting travesties of English such as "He was a 'dominate."' Don't we know the difference between nouns and verbs? Can't writers of erotica learn that there are proper words (like scrotum, glans, etc) without attempting to grasp non-existent words that they create because they are too lazy or ignorant to use a dictionary or Theasuras? This in precisely one of the reasons that erotica is oft branded as "SMUT"! Educated people do NOT want to read improper English or crudely orchestrated sentences containing words contrived without thought.

Magna cum laude folks, summe cum disgustingly!

From A. Rebeca King
Go Ruth [see Ruth's entry below], I am Rebeca, and that is the best way to use the word in my book. I use the cum for ejaculation and come for coming in a doorway. I also use the spelling cumm for heavy orgasms.

What are we afraid of, we do not write fancy high brow books to educate the masses. We are erotic artists, and write good dirty trash, to heat up our reader so they can Cummmmmmmmm!!!!!

From Old Bookie
I know "cum" has been universal in obvious porn, and nearly that in erotica, but it strikes me as a coarse and stupid misspelling of "come," and an unfortunate homophone. If that makes me homophonophobic in this case, so be it.

"Cum," as Webster defines it is simply the Latin preposition meaning "with," and that usage appears frequently in the discourse of literate people. It is common both in familiar Latin phrases - cum laude (with honors), cum grano salis (with a grain of salt) - and as a borrowing in English to indicate an interesting or unusual pairing - soldier cum statesman, actress cum author, etc.

I don't gasp and turn pale when I encounter the term, and I have occasionally used it, but it is one word whose proper spelling never obscures its meaning. If I come to a clinic to deposit some come for a sperm sample or a DNA test, which "come" is verb and which is noun is perfectly clear.

Come one, come all, rise to the occasion! Come to the defense of "coming" as a supreme erotic experience and "come" as its stickiest product. Let your erotica be erudite cum erotogenic!

From Lucy
To start off with, my thought was that 'cum' was better. However having read what everyone had to say on the matter, I'm not so sure. Personally I have always used 'cum' in my writing, but then my writing does tend to be pretty smutty and down to the point, so to speak. But as my stories tend to be pretty short, I think 'cum' is better. Having however read a lot of Black Lace, full novels with a storyline as well as just sex scenes, I think 'come' can sound better. It depends on the tone of the story. Its got a lot to do with the context I believe. If you're writing a slightly high class themed tale then I'd say 'come' but if its 'down and dirty' - just plain old 'cum.' Just sounds dirtier.

From Jeren'dsay
Taboo, repulsive and, well, "politically incorrect." That has always been my perception of "cum". However, after spending an ample amount of time reading and listening to erotica I've noticed a specific vocabulary demographic for the spelling.

While "come" relates more to the sensual and elegant side of erotica, the slang spelling of "cum" gives the reader a feeling of personal, no strings attached, self satisfaction, or outward projection of physical gratification; the sweaty vinyl couch scene of uninhibited sex. Of course, this really all depends on how the writer intends to illustrate the situation.

From Violet Blue
Come! That's an order.

"Cum" is for grade-school grammar on porn box covers, as in "Cum Guzzling Slut's"—know what I mean? It's a pet peeve!

From Lionel Jay
Perhaps I am simply old school, but to me the slang word "cum" is just that a low diction version of "come" popularized by chat-room speak. I cringe at the thought but I'm sure that somewhere out there stories are being published with such elegant turns of phrase as LOL and LMFAO being used to represent the complete phrases.

When I see "cum" in an erotic story, I expect to see "boob" as well. And then I wonder what boob wrote the story.

From Gwen Masters
I've never been able to wrap my mind around 'cum'. When I first started writing erotica I used 'cum', mostly because that seemed to be the norm. However, the more editors and publishers I work with, the more 'cum' gets slashed out of the writing. So I verged into using 'come', which to me seems more...elegant? Not so smutty. Not that there is anything wrong with smutty.

From Cathy
It's funny that certain things to me do not sit right. This is one of them. I guess it's because every time I ever read a smut book especially by men they always used the word 'Cum.' It was like they were trying to prove that they did by spelling it that way. I haven't been able to use it spelled cum. I guess I see it as "a guy Thing". I do find that there are things that we as the males or females seem to claim for 'our' own. I think that's just fine.

From RVRaiment
I keep encountering - almost said coming, or should that be cumming - across 'cum' and 'cumming' and, frankly, don't like it. 'Come' and 'coming' from 'to come', to reach orgasm, are legitimate and, it seems to me, perfectly effective words. The alternative, so frequently found in the tawdriest attempts at erotic writing, the 'ho hum' stuff, seems to fit too often and too easily with the idea that the writer isn't really all that literate. I'd be glad to see them banned.

From Ron
Come! Cum. Now!! I wrestle with this cum/come thing every time I write a passage. I'm absolutely positive I'm still not sure I have a rule but I have evolved to a strong preference. Anyhow, the best use of a rule is to identify exceptions and what author has time for that. There is, I think, only one real rule in writing Describe the moment so vividly the reader is not an observer. Agree?

Cum and its forms all cum up vulgar for me. "Come" in the right context is just as specific as "ejaculate," "orgasm" or "climax" albeit it with an added spurt of passion. "Cum" and "screw" are in the same lexicon. "Come" and "making love" are in the same but a different lexicon. I use "get off" a lot because it describes what goes on inside of, not outside of, him and her and seems kinder, gentler than "cum" or "come" and ends my wrestling with those two fucking words.

Locked in a romantic, passionate embrace on top of her frilly four-poster "I'm cumming," being whispered tenderly in her ear--or his--comes across as inconsistent with the scene.

Stealing a frantic minute--skirt up, pants down--in the firms law library, he does not whisper to her or her to him, "I'm coming," so yeah cumming clean with you here, I'd likely use the vulgar spelling there.

I still remember a book my parents left lying on the dining room table somewhere around my thirteenth birthday entitled, "Coming Together; Going Together." That book subconsciously relegated "cum" to a vulgarism for me because, as the book explained, "coming together" was hard, er, difficult to achieve and represented reciprocal love not an animal taking.

So, I've cum--aw, foop--come to this "Come" and its declension or conjugation involves mutual pleasure; "cum" and its forms explains self-satisfaction.

For me. Usually.

From Anonymous
Just as a note, I was browsing some chapters of the Bible for name references for a screenplay I've been toying with some time ago. One of the characters is to be a teenage girl forced into prostitution at her uncle's saloon who runs away. (It's a Western, but I digress.)

During the course of searching the Bible for a suitable location and name reference, I noticed that in the most ancient text still read by the masses, the sexual act is described as such "he came in unto her". I honestly think this is where the modern usages of the term originated.

From Kerrie O'Keefe
I used to waver on this, but I seem to have come down on the side of "cum" for both noun and verb. Not sure why--it seems sexier, I guess. However, "came" is still the past tense of "cum," and I like "coming" better than "cumming."

From Ruth
I have a simple way of differentiating the two spellings: Cum is a noun ("She swallowed all his cum.") Come is a noun ("He desperately wanted to come").

From Gareth Davies
Here on this side of the pond the old-fashioned use of cum, as in 'with', appears most often in place names; Chorlton Cum Hardy may sound like a good name for a stud in a porn novel but it's actually a suburb of Manchester... I think it's a matter of consistency; if most speech or dialogue is rendered phonetically then cum rings true; if not then frankly it looks coarse or cheap... or worse still, like the title line of a piece of spam.

From _el_rAy:
come - 17. [Colloq.] to have sexual orgasm
cum (kum, koom) prep. [L] with used, chiefly in hyphenated compounds, with the general meaning "combined with", "plus" [vaudille-cum-burlesque]

The beauty of the English language is the ability to create words and add new meanings and re- define already existing words. I find that the case in writing poetry, expanding word usage or incorporating new meanings into words.

IMO though, cum does come off sounding illiterate if you are writing fiction, pun intended.

From Rex Podius:
"Cum" has two very special meanings. One is a verb, and one is a noun. The verb is "to ejaculate," "to experience the sensation of orgasm, etc."   The noun is synonymous with semen.

The word has its place in erotic literature because it has an impact greater than the words whose place it takes. Purists of the language would disagree I'm sure. But I hate semicolons too.

Some additional comments: The past tense of "cum" is "came."

To ignore the use of "cum" in any of its forms is to ignore the way people are talking and thinking. It's like the view of the little old lady who doesn't want the police to say "fuck" in her mysteries.

Yes, in erotic "literature" one must be careful never to use the word "cum." And yes, it is overused in "fuck stories" as Damon Runyon put it.

"I'm going to come!" To where am I going to "come?"

This has been a good discussion, with many thoughtful comments. I think I've learned something. A footnote, and maybe even another topic Isn't it interesting that so many of us claim to be writing "erotic literature." Who out there is writing "Mysterious Literature," or "Romantic Literature" or "Science Fiction Literature" or "Mainstream Literature?"

My opinion is that it won't know for about fifty years, and I'll bet many of the greats will have the word "cum" in them.

From: Volponia
Offhand, I'd say that the use of the spelling "cum" usually suggests that the piece leans more toward what some would classify as porn, rather than erotica. (As somebody famous said of porn, 'I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.') Unless you are writing in Latin, of course.

For this reader, seeing 'come' spelled 'cum' in an otherwise subtle and elegant piece of writing -- including a ferociously outspoken and lubricious one -- is a clunker. It makes me go, Wau! Not necessarily what a writer wants to achieve.

From Rose
Webster defines "cum" as <together with; or plus>.

That's because "cum" as used to describe orgasm is a misspelling of "come," and "cum" as listed in Webster's is pronounced /koom/ and taken directly from Latin. For more information, I refer everyone to "Coming and Cumming" by Susan St. Aubin, a lovely story published in Herotica 4 (Marcy Sheiner, ed.).

I tend to avoid "cum," preferring the roundedness of "come" to the abrupt (and rather slangy) "cum", both as verb and as noun. You're welcome to do whatever you like, however. *)

From Adrienne
Yes, Rose! what a great story "Coming and Cumming" is, I agree wholeheartedly. For those of you who would like to read Herotica 4, I just put it up in the anthology section ERA's book section.

The old timers on the list will know I am absolutely on the come side of the come vs cum argument, often showing up onlist with "great story, but cum is spelled come" remarks. And how would you cum in the past tense? He cum yesterday?

I agree, there is a place for cum in erotic writings; for street wise characterizations, or dialog. It does make a distinct difference in how the scene feels, so I don't think the word cum should be trashed altogether in erotic writing, but I think it needs to be used specifically and carefully. It's a great atmospheric word, and can change the whole feel of a story simply by choosing whether to use it or not to use it.

From Jo
Old Timer, Indeed! Actually, I was just waiting for it to turn into the Witching Hour (no harm intended, I read the thread) for Adrienne to pop out of her shell on this little nit of hers (and mine).

However, Dear Adrienne, on behalf of the Southern Contingent, I must tell you that the way you use cum in ANY sense is to say, "I been cummin here for a long, long time." Or "I cum here just yesterday." OR "He cum here before, but you weren't here then, neither."

So, what's the big deal about Latin, anyway? I heard it was a dead language. *laughing*

Adrienne, you being the sophisticated NeuYowker that you are, would never have been able to stretch for that one.

From J.Z. Sharpe
My own personal rule is as follows:

"Come" is a verb: "When Marie comes, she screams so loudly that Pierre is afraid all the neighbors will hear her."

"Cum" is a noun: "Pierre sprayed cum all over Marie's new black velvet Versace gown."

But as Rose says, you're free to make your own rules. I do think that "cum", as a verb, feels like porn, not erotica. However, that's just me.

From Volponia
Yeah, especially on a black velvet Versace <g> -- I mean, that's why God made belly buttons: completely washable! And while we're at it (hope nobody's eating breakfast), how cum <g> when cum/come dries on your skin, you can just peel or crumble it off, but when it dries on your dress, it sticks so fast it can bring down a presidency.

From John Boase
My two cents on come and cum. I noticed that even up to the end of the 19th century, the word "spend" was used in erotic/pornographic writing. Fran Harris' "My Secret Life," for example. The change over to come/cum happened, it seems, very early this century. Anais Nin uses "come" one of the early exponents.

I find the change quite interesting. Spend suggests loss of energy after the orgasm, which, I suppose physiologically it is. However, come/cum suggests "arrival" or achievement of something. As a hopeless romantic, I prefer "come."

Incidentally, isn't "cum" also used as a noun? In which case, as a noun it is not interchangeable with "come" or is it.

I agree with Adrienne. That story about the English teacher and her pupil in Herotica entitled "come/cum" is great.

Our coupling was magic, sublime!
We are in our sexual prime.
And whether we came,
Or cummed, we would claim
To have had a fucking good time.

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