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The Best of 2013

The Afternoon Circle Jerk Society
by Amanda Earl

Beating the Gothic Out of Her
by Amanda Earl

Real Irish
by Amanda Earl

Mercy and the Man. . .
by Amanda Earl

The Revenant
by Amanda Earl

The Vessel
by Amanda Earl

The Too Beautiful Boy
by Arthur Chappell

The Accidental Fetish
by Corvidae

Never For Punishment
by Daddy X

Like a Brother
by Big Ed Magusson

Old Dogs
by Big Ed Magusson

Goodbye Roger
by Huck Pilgrim

He Sends His Regrets
by Huck Pilgrim

A Small Favor
by Huck Pilgrim

Ava's Honey
by john e

LOX
by john e

Eclipse Sex
by Oxartes

Adam and Eve on a Raft
by Robert Buckley

Dead Man's Switch
by Robert Buckley

Does Immortality come with a Pension?
by Robert Buckley

Embraceable Ewe
by Robert Buckley

A Fragile Desire
by Robert Buckley

Surviving Winter
by Robert Buckley

You're the Only One
by Robert Buckley

Dissolve
by Sybil Rush

Bing Cherry Silk
by Valentine Bonnaire

Colony, Collapsed
by Valentine Bonnaire

Have a Nice Day
by Valentine Bonnaire

l'heure bleue
by Valentine Bonnaire

Once Upon A Time . . .
by Valentine Bonnaire

Red Suede
by Valentine Bonnaire

Yellow, like the daffodils
by Valentine Bonnaire

Novelette

Invisible Lines
by Raziel Moore



Archives

By Alan
Curtain
Other News


By Alice Gray
Slick 50
The Fourth Veda
Stolen Hour


By Amanda Earl
Daddy Complex
The Graffiti Artist
Sex With An Old Woman
The Vampire Responds


By Ann Regentin
What Never Dies
Newborn
Remembering
Surrender


By Big Ed Magusson
The Fix
Methadone


By Brady Sutton
Girls for Leash
The Peculiar Case of...


by C. Sanchez-Garcia
An Early Winter Train
The Doll
The Lady and The Unicorn
Riding the Dog
Fidelis


By Cervo
An Evening At...
Readiness Is All
Chinchilla Lace
Fridays At The Benoit
Cruising On A Sea...
Bitsy Takes a Test
Touring Persephone
Are You Kidding?
Quigley’s Harvest
Mr. Merridawn's Hum
Angels’ Spawn


By Cherry Black
Mrs. Priestly
Face Down
Just A Simple Black Dress


By Chris Bridges
Second-hand
Fast-forwarding
The Whitechapel...
Passing Notes


By Daddy X
Nikki Didn't Like It
Overscratch
A Woman in My Position


By Dominic Santi
Drillers
Kiss of Peace


By G. E. Russell
Judgement Day
Nebulous
First Love, Last Romance
Snow White
This Desolate Eden
The Glass Cage
You Like It Like That...


By Helen E. H. Madden
When The Angels Fall
Husbands and Wives
The Fifth Horseman
The Monster Beneath...
Neighbor of the Beast
Over the Rainbow
Going Viral
Virtual Love


By Helena Settimana
Balance
Highway 69
Amadou
The Space Between


By J.T. Benjamin
The Question
Thornburg Sex Survey
Alternating Weekend
Secret Lives and Lusts
What are Friends For
Olivia's Ulterior Motive
Advice From Miss Millicent
The Baby Doll
The Journals of Chastity
Use Me
Zachary's Perfect Date


By Jill
Kidnapped
Sheila Discusses ...
It's About Sex
A House On Fire?
Maureen and Sheila...


By john e
I Wish My Dick...
johnny's jackoff journal
Saturday Morning


By Julius
In Praise of Pussy
Tight, Tighter, Tightest
You Rang Madam?
The Newcomer


By Juniper Maclay
Lunch Break
The Scientist
Public Transportation


By Keziah Hill
Laying Down the Law
Strawberry Flavoured Joy
The Second Coming
Angel
Dutch Masters


By L.A. Smith
Missionary Position
Both Hands


By Lara Nickles
Almost
Hero


By Lilie Berlin
Naughty Little Girl
Color Less Ordinary


By Mike Kimera
Kneading
Soft Option
At the Adult Bookstore
Postcard
Playing With Barney
Deserving Ruth
Till Death Do Us Part
Happy Anniversary
Mating Calls
It May Not be Art...
Living With It...
The Last Taboo
Hand-Jobs
Fucking Ugly
Paying For It
Sex with Owen
Ask Alice
The Sisters
Bar Snack

Embraceable Ewe

by Robert Buckley

 

EROTIC FICTION“I feel so silly and stupid.”

Archie cast a sympathetic glance at his wife, Tami, as she hunched down in the passenger seat as if trying to disappear inside her off-white wooly costume.

“Aw, honey, they’re going to love you. You look adorable.”

“Archie, we should never have joined this club. The people are just so snobby and mean.”

“Aw, hon, that’s because we’re newbies. I don’t care what organization you join, it takes a while to be accepted.”

“Well I think some of these people are just downright mean. Has anyone even bothered to talk to us? And if I even go to say ‘hi’ people turn their backs and walk away like I’m not even there.”

“Honey, it took me months to cajole Jack into giving us an intro. It’s just what we were looking for, isn’t it? I mean, we agreed we wanted to push our boundaries ... you know, with our sexual experiences and stuff.”

“I know, Archie, but ... I just feel so out of place with these people.”

“Well, that’s all going to change tonight. This amateur theatrics night is just the thing I was hoping for to break the ice. You’ll see; they’ll love our skit. I bet every guy in the place will be enchanted with you.”

Then Archie winked. “Jeesh, I probably won’t see you again until morning.”

“Honey, I’ll do my best ... you know that.”

“Well, sure I do, Tami.”

“I just wish ... I wish we could just turn around now and go home.”

“Okay, look, let’s just give it our best shot, and after, if you’re still unhappy, we’ll forget the whole thing.”

Tami pouted as she reached beneath the wool to scratch her knee. “This thing is itchy,” she said.

“Okay?” Archie implored.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll do it for you.”

“That’s my girl.”

Archie swung his Mazda behind a Lexus in the crescent drive of the mansion, a private home of a member who hosted all the club’s activities. He helped Tami out of the car and proceeded along the line of vehicles, a chorus line of Jags, Lincolns, and a pair of Bentleys.

Entering the foyer they were met by the greeter in formal attire.

Tami recoiled at the once-over he gave her and Archie. She thought he looked like someone held shit under his nose the way his face pinched up.

“I am not aware of any costume events on the program tonight,” he said.

“Free style theatricals,” Arch said, nodding. “The bride and I are scheduled to present a skit.”

“Hmm, very well. They have already started. In the ball room.”

“Thanks.”

Arch and Tami hurried past other guests, who were dressed in cocktail party attire. Tami cringed at the muffled remarks and tittering as they passed.

The ball room, so called, was just a large hall with a dais set up. Arch and Tami stood at the back of the room a moment to watch the current skit.

A woman was chained to a stake, her arms held above her head forcing her to thrust out her chest, her breasts revealed through cutouts in some sort of leather corset.

“Come,” said a man standing to her side with a crop in his hand. “Please, feel free to inspect the slave before bidding.”

Three men from the audience climbed onto the stage. Two separated her legs while one of them probed her cunt with his fingers. Another stood behind her and reached beneath her. Archie assumed he was penetrating her ass.

The one who had inspected her cunt stood and spread her lips apart, checking her teeth as one would a horse.

Archie nodded at Tami. “See, same old stuff, no imagination. I’ll bet it’s one slave auction scene after another. I tell ya, honey, we’re going to blow them away. Now, you remember your lines, right?”

“I only have one line,” Tami said, and exhaled a long sigh.

“Well, it’s in the way you say it. Remember how we rehearsed?”

“Yeah, okay. Can we get this over with?”

“Sure, baby. I know you’re going to have fun once we’re on that stage. Relax and have a good time.”

Tami rolled her eyes and followed Archie to the event manager.

“Hi, Arch and Tami Kenneally.”

The man was short and bald, and hunched like a troll in a tuxedo.

“And ... what ... are you supposed to be?”

“I thought it was obvious. I’m a shepherd, and she’s my sheep.”

“Really.”

Tami couldn’t believe the man had stretched that two-syllable word out as long as he did.

“Well,” he said finally, “The couple that was going on next has had to attend to a wardrobe malfunction. “You may go on in their place ... if you really wish.”

“Well, of course we do.”

Arch and Tami were shown to the back of the dais and waited to be introduced.

“It’s going to be great, Tami; now you go out first and get in position and I’ll come right out after.”

“Archie ... I’m scared.”

“Aw, that’s just stage nerves, sweetie. You’ll be great. God, you’re so adorable.”

They heard the announcer: “And now, the Kenneallys, presenting ‘A bucolic scene.’”

Archie gave Tami a gentle push and she stepped onto the stage and immediately got down on all fours.

Archie followed.

“Where is my lost sheep that I have searched for so long? That naughty little lamb is in big, big trouble.”

A tittering and a low collective groan emanated from the audience.

“Aha! There she is. Bad little lamb. Now you’ll feel your shepherd’s crook, my wooly wanderer.”

Archie knelt behind Tami. “What have you been, naughty lamb?”

Tami took a deep breath and bleated, “Baaaaad!”

Someone in the first two rows gasped, “Oh, my God!”

“Lift that wooly little tail, lamb!”

Tami raised her haunches. Archie lifted his shepherd’s robes to free his cock. The thought of doing his wife in front of all these people made it as rigid as steel. Tami wore no underwear to shield her pink, winking pussy. It glimmered with moisture.

Archie plunged in, and urgently whispered. “Tami, your lines!”

“Oh ... baaaaaah ... baaaaah ... baaaaah!”

“Oh, my little mutton slut. You better never run away from me again.”

“Baaaaaah ... baaaaah!”

Archie swiveled his hips, grinding into Tami’s cunt as her carpet of wool flapped about her knees.

“Bad little lamb; nasty little lamb!”

“Baaaaaah ... um ... oh, Jesus!”

Archie heaved his loins against his bride as his head snapped back. His fluids rocketed into her cunt. She fell forward, splayed flat against the floor. Archie stood, tottered, then steadied himself.

“Back to the flock for you, and a good shearing.”

There was a profound silence.

Archie helped Tami stand and they looked out at the rows of people, many of whom sat with their mouths agape.

“Um,” Archie said. “Sure hope you enjoyed our little ... uh ... presentation.”

A hissing sound beckoned them. It was the event manager urgently gesturing for them to leave the stage.

There was no applause, but then the room filled with a clicking noise, as if overtaken by rabid crickets.

The stage manager held them in his intense gaze.

“That was perhaps the most tasteless exhibition ever witnessed here,” he said.

“Huh?” Arch responded. “But ... wait a second. I thought everyone here was supposed to be sophisticated, avant-garde. It’s okay to watch a bunch of guys poke their fingers up a broad’s snatch and asshole, but not a shepherd do his sheep?”

“Bestiality ... it’s the waste pile of wannabes.”

“Well, sorry if we offended anyone; it isn’t like I screwed a real sheep. This is my wife, and just in case you didn’t notice, she’s a girl. All right?”

“That secret will remain safe with me, I assure you, Mr. Kenneally. Now, your provisional membership expires this evening. I wouldn’t bother to reapply.”

Tami began to cry.

“Well, that’s fine with us,” Archie said. He took Tami by her wooly arm and led her past the snickering crowd and straight out the door.

Once Tami was safe inside the car the dam burst. She wailed beside Archie, her tears flowing in torrents.

“Aw, honey, don’t cry. Not over those stuck-up phonies. You were adorable; and gosh, you were so hot with your wooly white behind wiggling and bouncing.”

“I feel so humiliated.”

“Aw, don’t, baby. Fuck them. They just couldn’t handle a couple with real imaginations. Shit, I bet all they do is whip each other all night. That shit gets old real quick.”

“I hate them.”

“They’re not worth it, baby. Hey, we’ll find some nice people to play with ... you’ll see.”

The flashing blue lights snapped Archie’s gaze to his rearview mirror.

“Aw, geeze, and if this don’t put the icing on the cake.”

Archie pulled over as Tami tried to make herself appear small again.

The trooper was tall and had to bend severely to peer into the car.

“Oh, okay,” the trooper said.

“What’s the trouble, officer?” Archie asked. “I didn’t think I was speeding.”

“Sir, I stopped you because I thought you had a live sheep in your car. That would have been a hazard, but I can see now that what you have is ... well, I shouldn’t say this, but that’s some cute lamb chop you got there.”

“Uh, that’s my wife.”

“Uh-huh. Costume party?”

“Um, not exactly.”

“I see. Well, I think I know where you’re coming from. I’ll bet you left them with quite an impression.”

Archie looked at Tami, then they both looked at the trooper.

“You ... say you know where we’re coming from?”

“Yeah, done that. Bunch of stiffs, if you ask me.”

“Um, that’s just what we were thinking.”

“See here, folks,” the trooper said and reached into his pocket. He handed Archie a card.

“What’s this?”

“Don’t worry; it isn’t a ticket. I shouldn’t be doing this, but you look like a nice couple. That’s the address for Kate’s Bar and Grille. Ever been there?”

“Been by it, but never went in.”

“Nice friendly place, regular folks. Nice folks, you know ... who like to play with ... you know, other nice folks. Drop by some night ... Fridays are best. I think you’ll like it. Tell them Ted sent you.”

“Well, thank you, officer.”

“Ted.”

“Okay, Ted.”

“Have a safe evening, folks. And I gotta say again, ma’am, you are just ... well ... a very embraceable ewe. Sir, I’m envious. Have a nice night, now.”

Tami and Arch sat and watched the cruiser drive off into the night.

“I think he liked you, honey.”

Tami grinned.

_______
© 2013 Robert Buckley. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

Bio: Who is Robert Buckley? Read his bio on the Erotica Readers & Writers Association website.

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Archives

By Nan Andrews
At Rest
Spirit Guides


By Nick Nicholson
The Room
Grigore & Tatiana
Land of Smiles
The Uniform
Hooked


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A Rathskeller Jar
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Maybe You Can Go...
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Fiend in Need Part II
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The Other Side
I Waited for You...
Pleasure's Apprentice
Fixed in Amber


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Ligne Claire
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Ghosts of Christmas Past
Recalled to Life


By Robert Buckley
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Making Her Late For...
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Infidelity
Brotherhood Of The ...
Convenience Store
Head Games
Practicing Lovecraft
Outsourcing
Coins For The Ferryman
Seeing Is Believing
Matrons
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A Weekend in Queens..
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Suspicion
Restive
Close to Hand
Excess Of Light
Patience
Smears
Malay
They Need Me
Bench Mates
Paladins
Pre Need
Rescues
Cthulhu's Toad
The Dog Park
Smells Like Money
Extraordinary Graces
Poe-tics
What Now?
You Get What You Pay For
The Angel of Loneliness
The Great Sin
Independence
Mere Moments
An Unconventional Friendship


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Amarind
Still Life


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Maestro
The Thing Under the...
Only When It Rains


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Naked Ambition
The Principal of the Thing


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Stripes
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Screen Play
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