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Flashers
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The Best of 2013

The Afternoon Circle Jerk Society
by Amanda Earl

Beating the Gothic Out of Her
by Amanda Earl

Real Irish
by Amanda Earl

Mercy and the Man. . .
by Amanda Earl

The Revenant
by Amanda Earl

The Vessel
by Amanda Earl

The Too Beautiful Boy
by Arthur Chappell

The Accidental Fetish
by Corvidae

Never For Punishment
by Daddy X

Like a Brother
by Big Ed Magusson

Old Dogs
by Big Ed Magusson

Goodbye Roger
by Huck Pilgrim

He Sends His Regrets
by Huck Pilgrim

A Small Favor
by Huck Pilgrim

Ava's Honey
by john e

LOX
by john e

Eclipse Sex
by Oxartes

Adam and Eve on a Raft
by Robert Buckley

Dead Man's Switch
by Robert Buckley

Does Immortality come with a Pension?
by Robert Buckley

Embraceable Ewe
by Robert Buckley

A Fragile Desire
by Robert Buckley

Surviving Winter
by Robert Buckley

You're the Only One
by Robert Buckley

Dissolve
by Sybil Rush

Bing Cherry Silk
by Valentine Bonnaire

Colony, Collapsed
by Valentine Bonnaire

Have a Nice Day
by Valentine Bonnaire

l'heure bleue
by Valentine Bonnaire

Once Upon A Time . . .
by Valentine Bonnaire

Red Suede
by Valentine Bonnaire

Yellow, like the daffodils
by Valentine Bonnaire

Novelette

Invisible Lines
by Raziel Moore



Archives

By Alan
Curtain
Other News


By Alice Gray
Slick 50
The Fourth Veda
Stolen Hour


By Amanda Earl
Daddy Complex
The Graffiti Artist
Sex With An Old Woman
The Vampire Responds


By Ann Regentin
What Never Dies
Newborn
Remembering
Surrender


By Big Ed Magusson
The Fix
Methadone


By Brady Sutton
Girls for Leash
The Peculiar Case of...


by C. Sanchez-Garcia
An Early Winter Train
The Doll
The Lady and The Unicorn
Riding the Dog
Fidelis


By Cervo
An Evening At...
Readiness Is All
Chinchilla Lace
Fridays At The Benoit
Cruising On A Sea...
Bitsy Takes a Test
Touring Persephone
Are You Kidding?
Quigley’s Harvest
Mr. Merridawn's Hum
Angels’ Spawn


By Cherry Black
Mrs. Priestly
Face Down
Just A Simple Black Dress


By Chris Bridges
Second-hand
Fast-forwarding
The Whitechapel...
Passing Notes


By Daddy X
Nikki Didn't Like It
Overscratch
A Woman in My Position


By Dominic Santi
Drillers
Kiss of Peace


By G. E. Russell
Judgement Day
Nebulous
First Love, Last Romance
Snow White
This Desolate Eden
The Glass Cage
You Like It Like That...


By Helen E. H. Madden
When The Angels Fall
Husbands and Wives
The Fifth Horseman
The Monster Beneath...
Neighbor of the Beast
Over the Rainbow
Going Viral
Virtual Love


By Helena Settimana
Balance
Highway 69
Amadou
The Space Between


By J.T. Benjamin
The Question
Thornburg Sex Survey
Alternating Weekend
Secret Lives and Lusts
What are Friends For
Olivia's Ulterior Motive
Advice From Miss Millicent
The Baby Doll
The Journals of Chastity
Use Me
Zachary's Perfect Date


By Jill
Kidnapped
Sheila Discusses ...
It's About Sex
A House On Fire?
Maureen and Sheila...


By john e
I Wish My Dick...
johnny's jackoff journal
Saturday Morning


By Julius
In Praise of Pussy
Tight, Tighter, Tightest
You Rang Madam?
The Newcomer


By Juniper Maclay
Lunch Break
The Scientist
Public Transportation


By Keziah Hill
Laying Down the Law
Strawberry Flavoured Joy
The Second Coming
Angel
Dutch Masters


By L.A. Smith
Missionary Position
Both Hands


By Lara Nickles
Almost
Hero


By Lilie Berlin
Naughty Little Girl
Color Less Ordinary


By Mike Kimera
Kneading
Soft Option
At the Adult Bookstore
Postcard
Playing With Barney
Deserving Ruth
Till Death Do Us Part
Happy Anniversary
Mating Calls
It May Not be Art...
Living With It...
The Last Taboo
Hand-Jobs
Fucking Ugly
Paying For It
Sex with Owen
Ask Alice
The Sisters
Bar Snack

Seeing Is Believing
by Robert Buckley © 2004



Erotic FictionI kept looking for the sign that said "Off the Beaten Path." We were bouncing along a crumbling sliver of asphalt that snaked its way through thick New Hampshire woods.  We had already driven nearly three hours before we got onto this road to nowhere.

Three hours without a word to each other, except for maybe "Pass the sugar" at breakfast that morning.  But that's how it was lately with Grace and me.  I don't know how it had gotten to that point.  Our tenth anniversary was just a few days away and neither of us was excited about it.  I couldn't read her thoughts, if she had any, but I was beginning to wonder if I'd made a mistake getting married so young.  We were barely out of college.  Maybe we should have split for a while, had some experiences with other people.  If you count the time we were together in college, we'd been a couple nearly 15 years.  And now we didn't have a thing to talk about, except each other's jobs and that wore thin.

Grace's brother, Leo, was such a mench.  I know he sensed something was up with us, so he lent us the use of his cottage for a couple of weeks.  That's where we were headed.

I think the last place Grace and I needed to hole up was in a cottage by a remote lake where we'd only have each other for company.  I was expecting more of the same, with even less to talk about.  Maybe Leo and his wife Margo thought it would be romantic for us, but a dank, buggy shack in the middle of the woods just didn't appeal to me.  I figured we'd stay a night then bail out

I spotted the gravel road that led to the lake and turned right.  Then we spied the bright yellow sign with two rabbits humping that announced "Leo and Margo's Tree House." Grace giggled, and I grinned.

I should have given Leo more credit.  He's an architect heavily influenced by "Peanuts." The cottage, as it came into view, was indeed a tree house.  It sprawled in crazy directions on the ground floor with something like a kid's clubhouse topping a wacky tower set against, and about halfway up a towering pine.

It was in a sunny, airy clearing that was neatly trimmed.  I stopped the car and Grace and I stepped out and just gazed with our mouths agape at the wacky star-shaped house.

"The tree house is the bedroom," Grace said. "Everything else is on the ground floor.  That's what Margo told me."

My spirits rose just a bit.  Maybe it would be fun for a day or two in this crazy house.  We took a preliminary tour of the grounds.  A huge deck with a retractable awning fronted the lake and a small beach.  The house was roomy and gave the feel of being open and breezy.  The rooms were set at odd angles, like Dali meets Escher, but it all seemed to work.  Leo was a genius—a screwy genius, but a genius nonetheless.

The interior bathroom had a tub, but the only shower—with hot tub—was on what should have been an enclosed deck outside that overlooked a slight slope that retreated to woods of pine and white birch.

"Oh, gosh," Grace said as she surveyed the remains of a fence that looked like it had been knocked down by a bulldozer. "How did this happen?"

Before I could hazard a guess a high-pitched voice from inside the house called, "Hello, summer neighbors."

We turned to find a small, dark-skinned man with a brilliant smile that vanished the moment he saw us.  Obviously confused, he stammered, "Oh dear, I am very sorry, I though you were Leo and Margo come back for the season."

"I'm Leo's sister, Grace.  This is my husband, Matthew."

His smile returned. "Oh, so happy to meet you.  Leo did not tell me his sister was a supermodel."

Grace and I exchanged a dubious glance.

"And you are, sir?" I asked.

"Oh dear, excuse my manners.  I was momentarily discombobulated.  I am Ravji.  I have known Leo and Margo for five summers.  We are very good friends."

"Nice to meet you.  They'll be here in a couple of weeks."

Ravji smiled, then frowned as he looked behind us at the damaged fencing.

"Oh my goodness, this is terrible."

"What do you suppose happened?" Grace asked.

"Those silly teenagers."

"Kids did this?" I said.

"Oh dear, no.  The kids here are all good kids.  I'm afraid this was the work of Booger."

Grace and I almost laughed out loud. "Booger?"

"Oh dear, yes.  Booger the Bear, that's what the children call him because his snout is always a little snotty."

"A bear!" Grace stiffened and clutched her arms to her chest.

"Oh, not to worry, Grace.  He's a big teddy bear and he behaves himself usually.  He's always looking for a hand out, but he's very respectful.  Just shoo him away if you see him."

"Well, if he's such a mild-mannered bear, why'd he do this?" I said, waving my arm at the damage.

"Poor Booger, I'm afraid some of the kids fed him a case of beer a few nights ago."

"You mean to tell me a bear got shitfaced and wrecked the fence?"

"And woke up with a hangover.  His groans were pitiful, they echoed throughout the woods.  I left out some raw eggs mixed with Tabasco for him.  It seemed to do the trick."

Remedies for a hung-over bear? This place was taking on an air of unreality real fast.

Ravji graciously invited us to have cocktails with him once we settled in.  Showering on the now exposed deck didn't seem to make much of a difference.  The only ones who could see us were birds and squirrels and perhaps a wastrel bear.

We explored the rest of the house and climbed the spiral ramp that took us into the tree house bedroom.  There was no need for air conditioning.  A breeze blew off the lake and filled the room with clean pine scent.  A 360-degree window allowed me to survey the entire property below.  I felt like a kid playing in a fort.  Grace and I lay down on the bed and instantly dozed off.

I was awakened by Grace getting up.  From the angle of the waning sunlight I guessed we'd napped through most of the afternoon.

"I'm going to take a shower," Grace said. "You don't suppose that bear will come back?"

"I don't know.  Why don't you bring a beer just in case?"

She laughed.  It had been a while since she laughed at anything I said.

I continued to lie in bed until I heard the water from the shower.  I stretched, got up and peeked down at Grace.  She was soaping her arms and her breasts as she half sang, and half hummed a Stevie Nicks tune, "Rhiannon," I think.

My mind transported me back to the first time we showered together.  It was in her dorm.  We'd been dating about two weeks and were into a heavy make-out session in her room.  Maybe she wanted to slow things down, so she jumped up and invited me to follow her to the showers

But, when we got there, I was caught off guard by her casual nudity.  We hadn't even had sex yet, and I'd only managed to cajole her out of her top and bra.  But she stripped quickly.  She stood under the water, her long-waisted torso glistening, little clouds of suds coursing down her slender thighs.  I got an instant hard-on.  She grasped it and then yanked me in with her.  That was the first time we had sex.

My thoughts returned to the present as I watched Grace work shampoo into her dark blonde hair.  She'd cut it short some years before.  I missed it long.  As she raised her arms her breasts lifted, raspberry nipples pointing toward the edge of the woods.  She was just five-feet-five but when she stretched like that she looked so tall and lean.  She could still pass for twenty.

I caught movement in the brush.  It was too big to be a squirrel, and I thought, teddy bear or not, I should run down just in case Booger had ideas about visiting.  But then Ravji's head popped up from an unruly hedge.  He raised a pair of opera glasses to his eyes.  He was spying on Grace.

The little shit, I thought.  A bubble of rage welled up in my chest, but it rapidly dissipated, replaced by a weird fascination.  I couldn't move from the spot as I watched another man savor the sight of my naked wife.

Finally, the water stopped.  Grace toweled herself, then donned a terry bathrobe and came inside the house.  From my vantage, I swear I could see Ravji heave a sigh, then turn and head back into the woods.

Downstairs I found Grace putting away groceries we had brought with us.  She turned away from the cupboard a moment and asked, "What do you want to eat tonight?"

Her robe was open, and I wanted to reply your pussy, but the words wouldn't emerge.  Playful sex banter used to come easy to us.  Now I hesitated.  I stepped toward her and opened her robe even more, drew in her scent and let my fingertips trace a path from her ribs to her hip.

She looked mildly startled. "What?"

"You just look so good," I said. "I used to—I mean—I like to see you naked."

She peered into my eyes with puzzled concern, but then she smiled.

"How about pasta?" she said. "It'll be quick."

I shrugged. "Sure."

That night we actually talked over dinner, mostly about what a weird little house Leo had built.  Later, before we went to bed, I asked her to sleep nude.

"But I get chilly."

"I'll keep you warm, I promise."

She nodded, and slipped naked under the covers.  I spent an hour kissing her body from toes to nose before we enjoyed one of the most satisfying fucks we'd had in years.

*               *               *

In the morning I woke to an empty bed, but Grace's heat lingered.  I heard the shower spray and my cock responded like a tent pole under the sheet.  I peered out the window and watched Grace luxuriate in a cascade of hot water, then I inspected the edge of the woods for signs of our voyeur neighbor.  If he was there, he was well hidden.

I went downstairs and joined Grace, enthusiastically soaping her body as she teasingly slipped out of my grasp.  I thought I heard a moan from the woods, but decided it was probably a loon.

"Hey, let's go skinny-dipping." I said as I squeezed her sudsy ass.

"In the lake? But, people could see us there."

"This place is pretty quiet."

She grinned and nodded.  We rinsed then ran hand-in-hand through the house like a couple of kids outside to the forward deck and down to the beach.  There were some boats on the lake, but they were far enough away.  We played and splashed for about an hour.  Then Grace announced she was beginning to wrinkle.

With long-legged strides she started toward the beach shaking the water from her hair.  A sheen of liquid sunshine made her ass luminous as it swayed to a casual meter.

I caught some movement in the corner of my eye.  There he was again.  Ravji leaned around a thick pine at the edge of the property.  Grace was entirely out of the water now and began to jog toward the house.  Ravji's jaw went slack before he ducked behind the tree.

I emerged from the lake and casually made my way inside.  Grace was toweling off in the kitchen.  I stepped toward her intending to hug her when we heard a knock.

"Good morning, neighbors—hello?"

Grace hurriedly wrapped the towel around her body, but it barely covered the good parts.

"Hi, Ravji," I replied. "Could you wait a sec, we aren't quite decent at the moment."—Not that you haven't seen all there is to see anyway—you little pervert.

"Oh, yes.  Pardon my intrusion."

Grace padded to the bedroom as I pulled on a pair of denim shorts and a t-shirt I'd left draped over a kitchen chair.

I waved Ravji into the house.

"Hello, Matthew.  Is Grace not here? I'd like to see her."

"I bet you would."

"Excuse me?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing.  She's getting dressed."

"I just wanted to see that you are comfortable.  Is there anything you need?"

"We'll have to drive into town later and pick up a few things, but we're pretty much settled in."

"Very good."

Grace returned wearing short-shorts and a cropped T-shirt.  I thought Ravji swayed on his feet for a moment.

"Good morning, Grace.  Your name suits you so well.  You are such a graceful lady."

Grace's cheeks reddened. "Oh—well—thank you, Ravji."

"Oh, it is the truth."

I suggested we adjourn to the deck where we sat around a patio table.  We watched various boats pass as the lake came alive.

"Are you here alone, Ravji?" Grace asked.

"Yes, for now, but this will be my last bachelor summer.  My family has chosen a girl for me and I will return to my country to marry before I bring her to the States."

"Chosen? Haven't you seen her?"

"Just photographs, here ..." He reached into his pocket and took out a small wallet from which he withdrew a color snapshot.  He handed it to Grace and I leaned to see.  It was a picture of a dark-skinned girl with luminous eyes and a bright smile.  She could have been Ravji's twin sister, rather than his bride-to-be.

"She's lovely," Grace said.

"Oh, yes, Rani is quite pretty.  We have spoken by phone many times.  I do adore pretty girls."

Grace and I exchanged a glance.

"I love American ladies too," he said. "I have a soft spot for blonde girls, I must confess.  I think it is their creamy pale skin that fascinates me.  Having grown up in my country, the first time I encountered a blonde Western lady was like—oh dear, I'll sound so silly—but it was like encountering a goddess."

Grace chuckled. "Well, I think girls like Rani are exotic."

Ravji shrugged and smiled.

We spent some hours on the deck just talking.  I'd forgotten just how relaxing a casual conversation could be.  It was well past noon when Ravji left to "work out a software problem."

Grace lay back on a lounger smiling.

"Hey, Goddess," I teased. "How about letting your hair grow long again?"

"Hmm, maybe," she grinned.

*               *               *

We took a ride into town near twilight and stocked up at the small general store before it closed.  That night we had a light dinner then watched the stars from the deck.  The area was remarkably free of mosquitoes.

It was after midnight when we climbed to the tree house.  Impulsively I stripped Grace and tossed her on the bed.

"Wha—what?"

I pushed her knees apart and nibbled her thighs before closing my mouth over her pussy, letting my tongue tour her folds as my nose bumped her emerging clit.  She responded with sweet, sharp gasps and whimpers as she wove her fingers through my hair and began to guide my attentions.  I sensed the rumble in her tummy before she shrieked and clasped her legs over my shoulders.

I lost track of how many times I fucked her—finally she pleaded to go to sleep.


Again I woke to an empty bed, but with a fragrant warm spot beside me.  I heard the shower outside signaling the beginning of what had become a morning ritual, and I rose and looked down at Grace.

Something was different, though.  Grace seemed to peer intently toward the woods.  I did too.  There was movement behind some bushes.  I assumed it was Ravji, and I wondered if she'd seen him.  But then Grace began to soap her belly and breasts slowly, sensually.  My cock was painfully hard and pointing right out the window.

Grace began to suds her thighs, then she turned and slid her hands over her ass, standing on her toes and cupping her cheeks.  Finally she raised her arms over her head, which lifted her breasts as the water rinsed away the suds.  She moaned.

I became suddenly aware that I was stroking my cock.  Grace started back into the house.  Then, in the distance, Ravji stood.  I just knew he had his cock in his hand too.  I launched a stream of come through the window.

For the rest of the day butterflies fluttered in my stomach.  I had accepted that I was aroused knowing another man was spying on my wife and gratifying himself.  But I had thought her innocently unaware that her exhibitions were being covertly admired.  The possibility of her collusion was profoundly disquieting, but my arousal was now off the scale.

I tried to sound out Grace without letting on I was as much a voyeur as Ravji.  After all, what would she think if she knew?

"So, what do you think of Ravji?" I asked.

Grace responded with a quizzical smile. "I guess he's sweet.  He's kind of cute, the way he goes overboard with his politeness.  I like his accent—it's funny."

"Hmm."

"Why?"

"Huh? Oh, I dunno.  He's a little odd, that's all."

*               *               *

That day we swam in the lake, took a hike and strolled around the town.  By late afternoon we were back and I was ready for a nap.  Grace said she would shower first, then join me.

"I'm beginning to think you like going naked in the open," I said.

She blushed. "C'mon, it's not like there's anyone around to—see me."

I let that go by, but I sprinted to the bedroom and waited for Grace to begin her shower.  I watched as she let the water rinse over her body, but I could tell she was searching the tree line in the distance.  A glint of sunlight reflected off something in the bushes.  I squinted and strained my eyes before I spotted Ravji with his opera glasses.

Grace turned off the water.  She laid a large bath towel on the deck, and then she lay on her back with her knees raised.  I almost came in my shorts when she slowly parted her legs, rubbing one hand over her breasts, then reaching with her other hand to her crotch.

Grace's head turned from side to side as she licked her lips and began to moan.  Her fingers stroked rhythmically between the folds of her pussy.  Her moans and whimpers grew louder as she began to squirm and stretch her body.

There was increased activity in the bushes too.  Ravji must have been going crazy—as crazy as me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I ran back down the tower and through the kitchen.  I hesitated at the door to the back deck, and then I crept over to where Grace squirmed on the towel.

I was standing over her but she wasn't aware I was there.  Then I said, "Let's give him a real show."

Grace sat up with a start.  Her face turned deep red. "Oh, my God! Matt—I ..."

"Shhh—I said let's give him a real show."

She shook her head in confusion, but I knelt and maneuvered her onto all fours.

"Oh, God, no.  Matt, we can't."

I ignored her protests and knelt behind her. "This way he'll see your tits sway while I fuck you."

"But—but—Oh!"

She gasped as I penetrated her cunt, then I grasped her hips and rode her hard.  She groaned as I twisted my hips, driving my cock deep inside her.

"Oh, Matt.  Please—don't ..."

"Tell me to fuck you."

"Oh!"

"Tell me."

"Fuck me! God, please fuck me!"

I ground into her mercilessly as she became more vocal. "My cunt—fuck it! God, fuck me!"

Hearing Grace say such things got me right in the balls.  She was never one to talk dirty before.  I was trying desperately to hold back the cream boiling at the base of my cock.

"Come for us," I hissed.  She did—a long shuddering orgasm that reverberated up her body.  Her hands slipped beneath her and her chest pressed to the deck, raising her ass.  My cock thumped against the walls of her cunt and I couldn't hold back any longer.  My come rocketed into her.

I fell beside her as we stretched onto the towel.  Then from the distance we heard a wheezing sigh and, "Oh, my goodness."

We strained painfully not to laugh out loud.

After a while we meandered back to the house on unsteady legs.  In the kitchen I held her to my chest.

"You knew?" she said.

"I—I spotted him spying on you the first morning we were here.  I didn't realize until yesterday that you knew he was watching."

"I spotted him peeking at me after our swim the other day.  Oh, God, Matt, are we perverts?"

"Who cares? Because of this guy we've had the best sex we've had in years."

"I knew something was different when you made love to me the other night—the way you used to, slow with lots of kisses and foreplay."

"Gracie, I've fallen in love with you all over again, and all because I got to see you through another guy's eyes."

"You haven't called me Gracie in a long time."

I kissed her.  We climbed up to the tree house and had a long, slow fuck.

*               *               *

We never got out of bed that night.  In the morning Grace woke me and invited me to take a shower with her.

"Should be notify Ravji first?" I asked.

"You kidding? I think he has some kind of radar."

We used the hot tub for the first time, then we played in the shower for a while.  We would have remained happily naked all day, but then came the knock at the door.

"Grace? Matthew? May I speak to you please?"

We hurriedly dressed, laughing at how ridiculous a gesture it was since we had no secrets from Ravji.  When we invited him in we sensed something different.  His usual bright smile was replaced by a deep frown.

"My friends," he began, "And I do cherish you as friends ..."

"Ravji? Is there something wrong?" Grace prodded gently.

"Oh, dear, how to begin.  A confession—yes—a confession first."

He looked at us both with such concern.

"I—I am ashamed to admit that I have been spying on you, Grace.  I have watched you shower and swim naked.  Yesterday I watched as you and Matthew had glorious sex."

Grace and I exchanged a glance but said nothing.

"I know my behavior has been shameful, but the thing of it is, I have become obsessed with Grace.  Oh-my-oh-my! I cannot sleep, I cannot eat.  I abuse myself constantly thinking of you."

I could tell Grace was straining mightily not to burst out laughing.  So was I.

"I am desperate—I must have sex with you."

Grace gulped.  I said, "Huh?"

"I know how this must sound, but I am going crazy.  I thought I would offer a thousand dollars, but that would be so disrespectful.  So, I will try asking—Grace, Matthew, please would you ..."

Grace's mouth fell open.  I said, "You aren't serious."

"Oh, dear, I feared this reaction, so I have brought you these." He held out a handful of photographs.  They were all of Grace—naked, masturbating, displaying herself.

Grace shuffled them in her hands. "Oh, my God.  Ravji, you took these?"

"Yes, and I'm afraid I will be forced to disseminate them if ..."

"Hold on!" I said.  I was more than a head taller than him.  He gulped.

"Let me get this straight," I continued. "You have too much respect for my wife to pay her to have sex with you, but you're threatening to blackmail us into agreeing?"

I thought he was going to cry. "Oh, Matthew, I'm so sorry, but it must show you how desperate I am to resort to such a shameful threat.  I am obsessed, consumed—if only I could have sex with Grace—just once to purge my demon."

I looked past him to Grace.  Unbelievably, she was grinning.  She swallowed back a laugh and said in mock seriousness. "Matthew, I need to have a word with you."

"Of course," Ravji said. "Yes, please, my friends, discuss this between you."

We adjourned to a side room where Grace finally released a giggle.

"Do you believe this guy?" I said.

"Oh, Matthew, he's so—I dunno, desperate—and sweet."

"What? Grace, you're not considering ..."

"Matthew, you said yourself, if it wasn't for him—well, we wouldn't have fallen in love with each other again."

"But, Jesus, Gracie, the guy wants to fuck you."

"I won't do it—if you don't want me too.  But, he's so harmless and so forlorn.  I feel like we owe him something."

"My gosh, it turns you on, doesn't it?"

"What?"

"The idea of a guy being crazy obsessed with you, like you were a goddess."

She shrugged. "Okay, maybe—a little.  But, Matthew, I just feel so responsible ..."

"What? The guy's a peeping tom!"

"I know, but he may have saved our marriage."

I shook my head. "Jesus."

"It won't take too long—okay?"

I shrugged.  It was all the assent I could give.

"Okay, now let's act serious," Grace said, and tried to squelch another giggle.

I followed her back to the kitchen where Ravji waited hopefully. "Yes?" he said.

Grace affected a solemn expression. "Well, Ravji, it seems I have no choice."

She held out her hand to him. "Come along."

Ravji's face was beatific.  She led him like a child to the bedroom.

I was left standing in the kitchen, my head swimming in a sense of unreality.  I didn't know what to do with myself and found myself making a corned beef and swiss sub—an extra long one.  I stumbled around the kitchen as if in a daze and absently grabbed a bottle of beer and a cup.  I took it all out to the deck and sat on the edge, munching one half of the sandwich and staring at the water.  It was twilight.

Then I heard her.  Grace was moaning and squealing.  Then I heard unintelligible muttering from Ravji.  I bit into the sandwich and felt my cheeks get hot.

Then my neck began to burn like someone was breathing hotly down my back.  I turned slowly and came face to face with a bear.  His snout was glazed with drool.

"Aw, shit," I mumbled and held my sandwich out to him.  He carefully took it in his mouth and lumbered past me to settle down at a nearby sapling.  He finished the sandwich and stared hopefully at the other half.  I tossed it to him and he groaned contentedly.  Behind me, the sex sounds from the tree house were getting louder and more frenzied.

Booger stood and lumbered over to the empty cup.  He looked at me expectantly and I poured it half full of beer.  He slurped it happily then resumed sitting near the sapling.  I tossed a towel at him that draped over his nose.  He pawed it off clearing most of the snotty goo from his snout.

Then behind us Grace screeched, "Oh God! Ravji! You stud! Fill me—screw me—fuck me!"

Even Booger looked up and growled.

I looked at him and shook my head.  What the hell was I doing having a picnic with a black bear while my wife was being fucked senseless by some refugee from a Quickie-Mart.  I felt like I had fallen through the looking glass and landed in a very twisted Canadian beer commercial.

Two sharp shrieks jangled my spine.  Then I heard Grace mew, "Oh, Ravji, my angel."

A few minutes later I stood and told Booger to get lost.  He lumbered back into the woods.  I walked back to the house just as Ravji stumbled into the kitchen like he'd just returned from Nirvana.

He took my hand and shook it. "Thank you, my friend.  You are so fortunate—she is a goddess."

He stumbled out and tottered toward the woods.

I climbed the tower to the bedroom and found Grace sprawled in a knot of sheets.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi.  It sounded like you had a good time."

"Oh, Matt, I wanted him to feel good, that's all."

"I'd say he's feeling no pain."

"Are you okay?"

"I dunno.  I feel a little weird."

"I love you, Matthew.  Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do, more than ever.  Aw hell, I don't care that you gave some little guy a sympathy fuck ..."

"Oh, he's not so little."

"You had to say that, didn't you?"

She giggled.

"Well, what do we do now?"

She sat up. "Let's sleep out on the deck tonight—naked."

I lifted her into my arms and she curled hers around my neck.

"Say goodnight, Gracie."

"Goodnight."

_______
© 2004 Robert Buckley. All rights reserved. Content may not be copied or used in whole or part without written permission from the author.

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