The thought of that makes your blood run cold, doesn’t it? Well, rest assured, there’s no reason to be scared … well, maybe not that much of a reason to be scared…
The thing is I haven’t really talked a lot about myself for a while so I thought it would be a fun little experiment to post a series of essays about little ol’ me: where I came from, my professional journey, being an editor, being a publisher … and even my hopes and dreams for the future.
Hope you like!
Being a writer – or, to be a bit more precise, the way I became a writer – has really affected how I view the writing life … well, actually any kind of creative life. Part of it, of course, is that it took me a long time to actually become a professional — but more than that I think it’s the transformation I went through during that far too lengthy process.
Like a lot of people, when I first began to write with an eye to actually getting published, it was a very painful process: the words just didn’t come, I was always second-guessing my stories, felt like my characters were dead-on-arrival, and doubt was around much more than confidence or even hope.
But, as we read in our last installment, I kept with it and was able, finally, to step into the word of professionalism. But an odd thing happened during those years: I actually began to like to write.
Shocking, I know (and, yes, that was sarcasm), as that is what writers are supposed feel, but when I wrote like I should have said loved: sure, the words were still clumsy, the plots a struggle, the characters stiff and uncooperative, and I thought more about being out-of-print than ever getting into-print, but somewhere during those years something just clicked and I began to look forward to losing myself in my own tales, having fun with language, playing with characters … I began to see the joy in actually telling stories.
But, more than that, I began to see the magic – which gets me, in a rather convoluted way, to the title of this little piece. Working on my stories, before and after being a professional, I developed a real appreciation for what it means to be a creator. Distilling it down a bit, I began to see writing – or painting, music, etc – as very special: what a creative person does is truly unique, incredibly difficult, and immeasurably brave.
Think about it for a second: how many people out there, milling about in their lives, have ever even considered doing what a creative person does. Sure, they may think about it, dream about it, but very few actually take even the simplest of shots at it: a creative person is a rare and special treasure. Now consider this: not only are creative people one percent (or less) of the people walking this world but they are willing to actually get off their day-dreaming clouds and do the work – often against overwhelming odds. We hear of the successes, of course: the award-winners, the ‘names,’ the celebrities – but we don’t hear about millions of others who tried their very best but because of this-or-that they just weren’t in the right place at the right time with the right creation. Lastly, even the idea of stepping into a creative life – especially a professional one – is awe-inspiringly courageous: not only do we do the work, struggle with every element, fail and try and learn and fail and try and learn but, despite it all, we keep going.
I call this installment “My Mission In Life” because I’ve been there, I know the pain of rejection, the struggles of trying to create something from nothing and so when I work with, talk with, or teach – though my classes – anyone doing anything creative I always remind them of their rarity, their dedication, their courage.
I once wrote a little piece that kind of got me into trouble – especially with other writers. In it I laid it on the line: you will never be famous, rich, or have one of your books made into a movie, no one will ask for your autograph … but, if you remember that what you are doing is rare, special, and brave then some of that might actually happen. The trick is to remember the magic, to forever hold onto the pure enjoyment that comes from creating something that no one has ever seen before.
I don’t use the word magic lightly: when it happens just right, when we put it all together, what creative people do is transport people into another world, show them things that they may never have ever considered, and – if we are very lucky – change their lives. If that is not magic then I don’t know what is.
So, “My Mission In Life” is (1) remember my own lessons and not lose sight of the joy in creation, the specialness of what I am trying to do, and the courage I have in sending my work out into the too-often cold and uncaring world; and (2) to tell as many creative people the same exact thing.
Sure, some of us might be ‘known’ a bit more than others, sell more books, make more money and all the rest of that crap – but I sincerely believe that anyone who has dedicated themselves to creation, of any kind, deserves support and respect. No one who creates is better than any other person who creates: we all face the same difficulties, the same ego-shattering failures, the same Sisyphian tasks of trying to get out work out there and noticed.
What writers do is magic — pure and simple: we are magicians using only our minds, imaginations, and lots of hard to work to use only words to transform, enlighten, transport, amuse and maybe even enlighten.
As a writer, an editor, a friend, and now as a publisher, it is my heartfelt “Mission” to remind anyone who creates that they are truly special: published or not, ‘successful’ or not, rich or not, famous or not, we are all magicians – and that we are all in this together and that there is absolutely no reason to make an already tough life tougher through needless competition, arrogance, conceit, or just simple rudeness.
We magicians should stick together – and never forget why we are all here: to experience the joy in telling stories.
hi Chris! (Chris isn;t it?)
I'll take all the inspiratin I can get, especially for someone like you and Lisabet that I have been reading for years before I decided to take the plunge myself.
When I was much younger i thought I'd want to write fiction for a living. Since then I've begun to appreciate how difficult that really is and feel a healthy respect for those who do. It's a hard and scary way to make a living and I'm always amazed at people like yourself who do it and make it work so well for such a long time.
Garce
Thanks. Your words are encouraging.
I'm really glad I didn't read your essay telling me I'd never make any money as an author before I got published! I was hoping to make enough money from royalties to be able to quit at least one of my crappy part-time bread-money jobs. But no, here I am still working 2 jobs and hating every minute that I'm not at my laptop writing the novles whose characters yell at me in my brain, demanding that I make their stories public so they can live in someone else's brain also. Sigh.
But instead I went in all innocence, and only gradually realized that there are many quarters that I won't get any royalties at all, and some where cashing the check means I can buy a cup of coffee. But I keep on because I've become addicted to purging my thoughts by giving the characters independent life, so they stop yelling at me. That allows for the next group of characters to begin telling me their stories…I'm hoping it won't ever stop. And that someday I'll have time to write until my butt hurts from sitting at my desk. Until then, I'm the one walking into walls because I worked both jobs then came home to sit and write until I passed out onto my keyboard.
A little dose of reality can help, but sometimes the dreams we spin for ourselves are more galvanizing.
"What writers do is magic — pure and simple: we are magicians using only our minds, imaginations, and lots of hard to work to use only words to transform, enlighten, transport, amuse and maybe even enlighten."
This says it all, for me. This is why I write, for the sheer joy of making people and worlds out of the tangled threads of inspiration in my mind.
I do disagree with one thing, however. I think that nearly everyone is capable of creativity in some domain. Western culture tends to smother that creative spark, but it can be cherished and fostered.
Of course, it takes more than inspiration, more than talent, to put your creative work in front of the public. It takes balls. Big ones. Especially when we're writing about socially-disreputable topics like sex.
Lisabet, did you see that Facebook picture of Betty White where she says, "Everyone says you have balls when you're tough. Why? Those things are fragile! How about saying you have a vagina? Those things can really take a pounding!"
I want to be her when I grow up!
Thank you for the encouragement, Chris. It's too easy to forget that other writers have also struggled with rough drafts, rejections, the distraction of day jobs and dark nights of the soul.
:~)
Loved this. You always provide inspiration.