Ashley Lister

Writing Exercise

By Ashley Lister

After the fun of last month’s blog post on cinquains, I wanted to stay
with poetry again this month and look at one of my all-time favourite poetic
forms: the limerick.

There once was a man from
Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a
bucket.

His daughter, called Nan

Ran off with a man

And as for the bucket, Nan took
it.

I recite this version in classes because it’s more acceptable than the ribald
version.  I’ve reprinted the ruder version below
with the offending language carefully censored.

There once was a man from
Nantucket

Whose c**k was so long he could
suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

“If my ear was a c**t I could f**k
it.”

Why do I like the limerick? It’s fun and it’s ribald. It’s also a
legitimate form of poetry exemplifying balanced meter and disciplined rhyme
schemes. The limerick is characterised by the a-a-b-b-a rhyme scheme and it’s
fairly easy for anyone to attempt.

1          A
vice both obscene and unsavoury         a
2          Kept the Bishop of Barking in
slavery       a
3          With horrible howls                                    b
4          He deflowered young owls                         b
5          That he lured to his
underground aviary.  a

Personally, I think the sophisticated rhyme scheme in this limerick is
quite remarkable.  The three syllable
rhyme (ay-var-ee) at the end of lines 1, 2 and 5 is a powerful reminder of the
poem’s strong construction. The same can be said for the rhyme in lines 3 and 4
(ow-uls). Not bad for a throwaway verse based on the idea of a bishop
having sex with owls. 

There was a young woman from
Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

Within half an hour

Her **** grew a flower

And her **** was a bundle of
weeds.

I could talk here about the syllable weight in this poem. Instead I’ll
simply say that it’s effective because it remains true to the form and it’s
still funny because of the ridiculous images it suggests. The same can be said
for the final example below.

There once was a young man called
Paul
Who had a hexagonal ball
The square of its weight
And his c**k’s length (plus eight)

Is his phone number – give him a
call
.

The usual rules apply to this blog post. If you can come up with a
limerick that you want to share, please post it in the comments box below. Obviously
no one wants to read anything defamatory or libellous but saucy and ribald are
the lifeblood of the limerick so I’ll be happy to see your risqué rhymes there.

As always, I look forward to reading your poems.

Writing Exercise – Cinquain

As I’ve mentioned
before, when I’m teaching creative writing, I tend to return to poetry
exercises. Writing to the restraints of a strict poetic form requires a degree
of mental discipline. Limited numbers of syllables, or the need for rephrasing
to meet the demands of a rhyme scheme, often encourages writers to think about
words in ways that aren’t familiar to those who focus solely on prose writing.

Which is my way of
saying that I’ve got another poetry assignment for those brave enough to rise
to the challenge. This month I thought we could look at the cinquain.

The cinquain is a five
line poetic form that can be attempted in one of two ways. The traditional form
is based on a syllable count as illustrated below.


line 1 – 2 syllables
line 2 – 4 syllables
line 3 – 6 syllables
line 4 – 8 syllables
line 5 – 2 syllables

Naked

Two lithe bodies

Press kisses together

Swift sigh moan shriek roar yes Yes YES!

Sated

For those who like to break away from
tradition, the modern form of the cinquain is not dependent on such
devices as counting syllables.

line 1 – one word (noun) a title or
name of the subject
line 2 – two words (adjectives) describing the title
line 3 – three words (verbs) describing an action related to the title
line 4 – four words describing a feeling about the title, a complete sentence
line 5 – one word referring back to the title of the poem


partner

perfect, passionate

dancing, sleeping, dreaming,

yang to my yin

lover

I strongly advocate exercises like this as the perfect way to preface any
bout of writing. Athletes tell us we should never participate in sports without
first doing some form of warm-up exercise. Musicians practice scales before
performing. Doesn’t it make sense that a writer should practice their craft
before teasing the right words onto the page?

If you have the time to try writing a cinquain, either traditional or
modern, please leave your poem(s) in the comments box below. It’s always good
to read fresh work inspired by these exercises and I hope you have fun with
this one.

Writing Exercise – Dialogue

By Ashley Lister

My wife informs me there are four types of orgasm.
The Positive Orgasm, characterised by the exclamation, “Oh! Yes!  Oh! Yes!”
The Negative Orgasm, suggested by cries of, “Oh! No!  Oh! No!”
The Religious Orgasm, identified by exclamations such as “Jesus!  God! Jesus!” and the Fake Orgasm, typified by the words, “Oh! Ashley!”

Dialogue in fiction serves three main functions:

  • Dialogue advances plot.
  • Dialogue demonstrates character.
  • Dialogue shows relationships.

Dialogue is one of the main challenges that needs to be mastered for anyone wishing to write credible erotic fiction.  Connoisseurs of pornography repeatedly complain of unconvincing conversations and asinine interjections
spoiling the ambience of sexually explicit material.  Editors of erotica frequently bemoan the monological exchanges typified by banal exclamatories in erotic scenes.  No one expects the fictional participants of a sexually explicit encounter to exchange pithy views on Keats or Kierkegaard.  Yet most readers would prefer characters who can say something more insightful than, “Yeah, baby,” or “Oh! No!” or even “Oh! Ashley!”

It’s worth noting here that the current vogue in writing stands against the overuse of speech tags and modifiers in dialogue.  Whilst it is occasionally helpful to say, John complained; Jane asked; he stammered; or she exclaimed (etc), it is acknowledged that these verbs should be redundant if the dialogue has been well-crafted and is fulfilling its function correctly.

Consider the following:

Text 1

“What are you telling me?” John demanded.

Jane glared at him.  “I’m telling you that it’s over,” she bawled.

“It’s-” he began.

“Don’t make this any more difficult than it already is,” she interrupted.

He shook his head.  “I’m not making anything diff-”

She didn’t let him finish the words.  “Goodbye, John,” she said finally.

Text 2

“What are you telling me?”

“I’m telling you that it’s over.”

“It’s-”

“Don’t make this any more difficult than it already is.”

“I’m not making anything diff-”

“Goodbye, John.”

The modifiers in Text 1 slow the pace of this exchange. In the first line, “What are you telling me?” John demanded, it can be argued that John demanded is redundant. John is asking an explicit question and these are not usually ‘whispered’ or ‘said huskily’ or ‘ muttered whimsically.’ The reader should be able to infer from the heated nature of this exchange’s opening that John is demanding an answer. Telling the reader this much borders on being too expository and writing beneath the readers’ abilities to understand the narrative.

Similarly, in lines 3 and 4, it can be seen that the modifiers are unnecessary.

“It’s-” he began.

“Don’t make this any more difficult than it
already is,” she interrupted.

Because the reader will understand that John has been interrupted – a fact implied by his single word utterance, ending in an abrupt en-dash – there is little need to tell the reader that John has been interrupted. This over-explaining carries connotations of the annoying tautology found in exchanges such as:

“Why don’t you smile?” asked Jane, urging John to smile.

“I am smiling,” said John, smiling.

Perhaps the most intrusive redundancy in Text 1 is the last line.

She didn’t let him finish the words.  “Goodbye, John,” she said finally.

All the previous arguments against overexposing the interruption can be applied to the first sentence in this line.  John’s previous utterance finished halfway through a word and ended with an abrupt en-dash.  Whatever Jane says after that is almost certainly an interruption.

The sentence could have effectively ended with Jane saying, “Goodbye, John.”  The final three words, ‘she said finally’ are unnecessary and potentially confusing. We already know that Jane is saying these words so there is no need for the author to tell us ‘she said’ them. We also know that they have been spoken at the end of the exchange so
there was no real need for the word ‘finally.’ In some ways this provides a dead-cat bounce: the initial impact of the statement being followed by an unneeded echo that does not offer the reader anything new and dilutes the finality of the original statement.  This is the author being overly indulgent at the expense of the story and the characters.
In this argument Jane should be given the last word but the author has taken that privilege away from her.

Having said all of the above, the conservative use of modifiers does help to ascertain the identity of the speaker.  Modifiers can also convey additional meaning that is not explicitly or implicitly present in the reported speech.  In line 2 of Text 1, the reader is shown that Jane glared at him.  This is necessary information for providing story detail.  Without this information the reader doesn’t know if Jane is avoiding eye-contact or fighting back tears of regret or shampooing her hair and considering a henna rinse.  Because no one glares at people when they are joking (or doing anything other than being part of a confrontation) the single verb is giving the reader a lot of detail about the vitriolic nature of this exchange.

As with all matters in creating enjoyable fiction, the onus is on the writer to present a clear and unambiguous text for the readers’ interpretation and entertainment. And, as with all erotic fiction, the essential point is to keep thinking about the reader with every word that’s written.

Writing Exercises – The Hávamál

by Ashley Lister

When I’m not writing, reading or reviewing, I teach. I teach creative writing and one of the subjects I keep going back to is poetic form.

The reasons for this are fairly clear in my mind. Coleridge defined prose as, “words in their best order.” Coleridge also defined poetry as, “the best words in the best order.” To this end, I’ve always thought anyone writing prose with a knowledge and understanding of poetry is in a position to elevate the quality of material being produced.

Which is why, this month, I’ve decided to mention the Hávamál as a poetic discipline.

The Hávamál is a Viking poem, but it is often called a book of wisdom. Written somewhere around AD 700-900, the Hávamál is one of the more well-known Eddaic poems and, amongst other things, it contains nuggets of universal wisdom that still apply today, more than a millennia after these words were first written.

Here are a couple of examples from the Hávamál:

A guest needs
giving water
fine towels and friendliness.
A cheerful word
a chance to speak
kindness and concern.

Give each other
good clothes
as friends for all to see.
To give and take
is a guarantee
of lasting love.

A typical Hávamál stanza usually contains six lines or two units of three lines each. The first two lines in each unit are tied together by alliteration, and the third is also decorated with alliteration. For those who’ve forgotten: alliteration is the repetition of similar sounds, usually the sounds of initial consonants, as illustrated below:

Better a humble
house than none.
A man is master at home.
A pair of goats
and a patched roof
are better than begging.

It’s also possible to look at the stresses used in the Hávamál but, for the purposes of this exercise, I’d prefer to see writers focusing on words of wisdom and the use of alliteration.

And that’s this month’s exercise from me: produce a six line poem in the style of the Hávamál, sharing words of erotic wisdom in the comments box below. Remember to keep a tie of alliteration between lines one and two (and four and five), and to ensure that there is some alliteration across lines three and six.

Have fun with this and I look forward to reading your words of wisdom.

Writing Exercise – Characters

by Ashley Lister More often than not, enjoyable fiction is all about characters. Many readers approach fiction for the excitement of meeting new and interesting characters – the characters that you, the writer, have created. Characters often remain the most vivid and memorable parts of any fiction. This is particularly true in erotica with a heritage that has given us such literary stalwarts as John Cleland’s Fanny Hill (Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), Pauline Reage’s O (The Story of O), and Justine from de Sade’s Justine ou Les Malheurs de la Virtu. But creating convincing and credible characters can be one of the trickiest aspects of the craft. The following exercise might be helpful for those writers who want to create a distinctive character that readers will remember long after they’ve finished the final page. 1) Think of an easily identifiable activity or occupation such as cop, soldier, cowboy or office worker. Ideally, pick an occupation with which you are already familiar, or with which you’d like to be familiar. (It’s worth noting that in the list of occupations above, each of these job titles has been the subject of themed anthologies focusing solely on characters connected to that particular occupation). 2) Once you’ve picked an occupation for your character, write down all the stereotypical things you’d expect that character to do, both positive and negative. Using one of the examples from above, you’d expect a cop to eat donuts, or blurt out the name of the culprit when watching a whodunit film, or have a set of handcuffs dangling from his or her hip. You’d expect a cop to have a natural air of confidence and a commanding air of authority. But the chances are you’ve picked a different occupation other than cop. Write a full list of traits that you’d usually associate with a character in the occupation you’ve chosen for this exercise. Include the good traits and the bad traits. 3) Now start to think of things your fictional character could do to become an individual – things that break the stereotypical mould. As an example, the cop I mentioned before might collect fine glassware. This interest in the aesthetic breaks the mould of the stereotype because few people consider police officers to have an appreciation for art or craftsmanship. This is not to say that police officers don’t have refined taste. But there are a lot of readers out there who see police officers solely as the face of authority with little interest in art. Could this unexpected aspect of my police officer’s character be considered erotic? Well, if he has an appreciation for fine glassware, then there’s a chance that his strong and powerful hands could be taking masterful yet sensitive control of a piece of fragile and delicate Lalique. His fingers could smooth against its detailed curves. His broad palms could cup the swell of a rounded base. He could caress a smooth and swollen surface. He could trace his fingernails against unyielding ridges. And this is before the situation has even moved toward being erotic. Compile a list of traits that would go against the stereotype of the occupation you’ve chosen – make this a list of things that no one would expect your character to do. These facets will make your character stand out as memorable. 4) Write a short scene showing your character going against the conventional norms of their occupation. Write a short scene that shows your character as a unique individual. Take time with this exercise. It’s not easy but the rewards can be plentiful – for yourself and for your readers. The chances are, after trying this a couple of times, you will have created an intriguing character who demands a place in your next fiction. The characters we create in our stories are going to live on the page and exist in the minds of our readers. Making these characters as vivid and memorable as possible is a sure way of making our work stay with the reader. More importantly, they give the reader a valid excuse to return to our writing again and again in the future. Ashley Lister

Writing Exercises

By Ashley Lister Constant Reader, My name is Ashley Lister and, aside from being a regular columnist and reviewer at ERWA, I’m also a freelance writer and a creative writing lecturer. I’m reminding you of this because so many interesting contributors have appeared in this space since I last blogged here I can understand if you’ve forgotten me. As I mentioned last month, I’m using this space to share some of my favourite writing exercises. This month’s exercise deals with characters. Have you ever met a person that you thought you would like – only to discover they were completely unlikable? Conversely, have you ever met a person you expected to despise – only to discover they were surprisingly charming? This happens all the time in the real world. However, it’s only in fiction – and really, only in badly written fiction – where we encounter characters that are written in shades of unmistakable black or white and absolute flavours of good or bad. As writers creating characters, if we want them to be believable representations of real people, we have to keep in mind that real people are multifaceted individuals who are never wholly good or wholly evil. We also have to remember, whilst some characters and their characteristics will remain consistent, their traits will appear to change depending on who is looking at them. To illustrate this point, I recently read out rude a poem to a large audience. The audience members that laughed and applauded clearly thought I was risqué and funny and deserved to be on the stage in front of them. The audience members that walked out and complained clearly thought I was vulgar and humourless. I was the same person at the microphone. But I was a vastly different person to each of those responding in such diverse ways. Here’s the exercise: Write about yourself from the perspective of someone who likes you. Write for about half a page on this first part of the exercise. Now fill out the other half of the page writing about yourself from the perspective of someone who doesn’t like you. Hopefully there should be a contrast in perceptions here. Ambition and greed are often different sides of the same coin. It’s admired to be relaxed but few people approve of someone being lazy – yet the two adjectives can be used interchangeably depending on whether we like or loathe a person. A beloved bargain-hunter can easily be regarded as a despised tightwad. This exercise is not only useful for self-examination. You can use it to better understand how your characters are perceived by other characters in the fictional world you’re creating. Your fashion-conscious protagonist could be seen as a vacuous clothes-horse by her detractors. A sexually adventurous hero could be seen as an immoral man-slut. Take a shot at this exercise and feel free to share your favourite contrasts via the comments box below. It would be interesting to see how readers of this blog believe themselves and their characters to be perceived. Ash

Writing Exercises

By Ashley Lister

As Lisabet mentioned at the start of the year, the ERWA blog is going to see a lot more activity in 2012. My name is Ashley Lister and, aside from being a regular columnist and reviewer at ERWA, I’m also a freelance writer and a creative writing lecturer.

Because of that last qualification, I figured I could use this space to share some of my favourite exercises for all those erotica writers reading this who want to polish their craft.

I usually work with three types of writing exercise.

The first type is the sort that’s traditionally used in the lecture hall. It’s a timed exercise designed to get students writing. These are usually ‘on-demand’ type exercises where students write haikus, limericks, cinquains etc. The purpose of these exercises is to get students familiar with the form being discussed.

From a writer’s perspective, timed lecture hall exercises work best when they can be recreated at home. That way the writer has the scope to properly use the exercise but without the pressure of meeting unreasonable standards set by peers.

The second type of writing exercise is the sort that’s solely intended to be done at home. For these, in my classes, I’ll give a theme or the opening paragraph to a story and ask learners to create a short piece of fiction to share with the rest of the class the following week.

Last term I used the opening pages from a piece of werewolf fiction I’d written (‘Scratched’, Red Velvet and Absinthe). The class’s responses to this exercise produced a lot of differing results. Few had gone for the traditional approach to telling a werewolf story. One had simply gone to see the latest Twilight film and told me the plot of that movie. Some of the stories were dark – dark even for werewolf stories. Some of them were whimsical. All of them had been written when the writers had the time and enthusiasm to engage with the subject. This level of personal involvement showed in the quality of the writing.

From a writer’s perspective, these are the exercises which I prefer. I can complete them at my own pace, in my own writing place, and without the pressure demanded by the need for immediate quality results.

The third type, to my mind, is the sort of exercise used for creating fresh ideas. Creating ideas can be daunting for any new writer and these are the sorts of collaborative exercises where we share our suggestions and bounce them off other writers. It’s a chance to voice ideas to others, see how they’re received, and to also get an insight into the way peers are thinking. In short: it’s a chance to hear some unusual ideas which can often prove tangentially inspirational.

One of my favourite exercises of this type is adapted from Margaret Geraghty’s The Five Minute Writer. Learners are expected to spend five minutes compiling a short list in response to the question: What does it feel like to…?
My personal responses to this included items such as:

What does it feel like to run a marathon?
What does it feel like to lick a hedgehog?
What does it feel like to taste an emotion?

Your exercise, should you wish to participate, is to produce five original responses to that question: What does it feel like to…? Feel free to share your suggestions via the comments box below and let’s see if we can inspire each other with some wonderful and original ideas.

Ash

Ideas for Erotic Fiction – by Ashley Lister

Writers are often asked “where do you get your ideas from?” It’s a valid question. My usual response (I steal plots) is probably not a valid answer. However, “where do you get your ideas from?” is not a question that’s often levelled at erotic fiction writers. I think the reason for this is that most people know where we get our ideas from. We erotic fiction writers get our ideas from having sex.

Admittedly, this is the other reason why I invariably take a fat pencil into the bedroom. I did try using a pen in the bedroom but it would often lead to making a terrible mess on the sheets. And sometimes the pen would dribble ink. There were occasions when I tried to take a laptop into the bedroom for the purpose of making notes for story ideas. However, I can’t do that any longer since my floppy has become obsolete.

Of course there are disadvantages to using this method for collecting and remembering ideas. The main problem is that it means having to have sex with the lights on. I don’t like this kinky variation on traditional missionary-position-in-the-dark-lie-back-and-think-of-England sex. If the good Lord had meant us to see what we were doing in the bedroom he wouldn’t have made sex happen at night.

And I’m not alone in thinking that sex with the lights on is unnatural.

My wife (rightly) objects to sex with the lights on unless she’s wearing the blindfold or (as an alternative) I’m wearing the gas mask to improve my appearance. I’ve repeatedly told her that the gas mask doesn’t improve my appearance – it hides my face. However, she insists that this is a considerable improvement.

So, we get our ideas whilst we’re having sex.

I don’t just mean erotic fiction writers get their ideas whilst having sex. My wife had an idea to plaster the bedroom ceiling the other week. That thought came to her whilst she wasn’t wearing the blindfold. By the time we’d finished that particular session she’d come up with ideas for new curtains, improved wardrobe space and an improvement on the room’s Feng Shui that would harmonise our entire lives. It had clearly been quite a productive three minutes.

She’s also had ideas for modifying my gas mask so that it doesn’t make a Darth-Vader-esque wheezing sound every time I happen on the prospect of an exciting story development. That idea wasn’t particularly great because the modification meant my brain stopped receiving oxygen for half an hour, although it’s not like it caused any permanent brain lettuce.

I find it’s quite stimulating to think about character development, plot lines and Freytag’s pyramid during intercourse. It certainly beats trying to remember the more mundane things relating to sex, such as where I put the salad tongs and whose turn is to use the stapler.

Only last week, during our monthly episode of congress (please excuse the dirty language there but we’re all adults reading this, aren’t we?) I had a brilliant idea for a novel. I say it was last week, it could have been the month before because we’re like rabbits and we do it every fourth Saturday night whether I want to or not! But, during coitus (there’s some more of that dirty language) I had a brilliant idea for a novel that I knew would be a bestseller and the source of international literary acclaim.

Unfortunately, the idea for the novel was The Story of O, so I might have to learn French before I can write it down. Nevertheless, I shall struggle on to try and get other, equally brilliant ideas for my readers.

It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

An introduction from Ashley Lister

You’re going to have be patient here. I hate introducing myself. Or, to be more accurate: I’m not very good at introducing myself and I hate doing things at which I’m not very good. This means I don’t do much. I sit and I write and I drink copious amounts of coffee. I’m good at all three of those. Especially the sitting. And the coffee drinking. As to the writing…

So, I was introducing myself, wasn’t I? My name’s Ashley. Ashley Lister. Hello. How are you? Good. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re looking very hot. Not “hot” in a sweaty kind of way. I mean “hot” in a sexy way. Great. I’m glad we’ve cleared up that misunderstanding.

Adrienne at ERWA has asked me if I’d like to occasionally contribute to the ERWA blog. I write a column (or two) for ERWA. I review books. I interview authors. And I’m also a published author with a handful of erotic fiction titles to my credit and some short stories. I won’t state the exact number for two reasons: one, it will sound like I’m bragging; and two, I’ve never bothered keeping count so the figure I write down is bound to be inaccurate.

What will I be blogging about? Wow! Don’t you ask a lot of questions? OK. Since you asked, I’ll be blogging about the trails and tribbles of being an erotic fiction author. (I’m aware I should have written trials and tribulations but I’m too big a STTNG fan to depend on such clichés).

What sort of trails and tribbles are involved in being an erotic fiction author? Well, keep reading and you’ll find out. I’ve got to warn you now – it’s not easy. Most days are a challenge. It’s hard work being a raunchy writer who’s scintillatingly sexy, ludicrously literate and arousingly articulate, but I’m a lot like haemorrhoids in that I thrive under pressure. I’m a lot like haemorrhoids in other ways too – a natural born pain in the chair.

Great, this is going well, isn’t it? Can you see why I hate introducing myself? This is my first attempt at blogging here and already I’ve mentioned haemorrhoids and they’re not something you should bring out in polite company. Not even if they’re pickled and in a sanitized jar with the words A MEMENTO FROM THE HOSPITAL written on the side.

Anyway, haemorrhoids aside, I know you’ve already got some skilled and sexy bloggers on here, serving up pithy quips, saucy suggestions and other wonderful words of wisdom, so perhaps you should look on me as punctuation between the good stuff. A little like the human equivalent of a colon or a period – both of which I’ve been called before today.

Looking forward to blogging for you…

Ashley Lister

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

Categories

Babysitting the Baumgartners - The Movie
From Adam & Eve - Based on the Book by New York Times Bestselling Authors Selena Kitt

Affiliate Disclosure

Disclosure: We use affiliate links on our site. What are affiliate links? Affiliate (or partnership) programs are created by businesses (like Amazon) that pay sites (like ERWA) for referring visitors to the business. Affiliate programs pay the referring site a percentage of products purchased via the affiliate link. You can help keep ERWA alive and kicking by doing your online shopping for books, movies, sex toys, etc., via ERWA affiliate links. Help support ERWA.

Categories

Archives

Pin It on Pinterest