All About Pleasure

All About Pleasure: Changing the World

by Donna George Storey

Last month I proposed the perfect excuse to taste fine chocolate while you’re writing erotica.  This month I thought I’d focus on a different reason why what we do can feel good. Indeed while writing erotica allows us to celebrate the sensual, it offers another equally satisfying, even spiritual, pleasure—knowing that the stories we write make an important difference in our culture.

Now, my dear Fellow Erotica Readers and Writers, perhaps you’re wondering how can I make such a grandiose statement.  No doubt, you’ve heard the same comments I’ve gotten from well-meaning critics, which can be summarized in this question:  “You’re such a good writer, why are you wasting your time writing dirty trash instead of Real Literature?” 

The next time someone says this to me, I have an answer.  I truly believe stories that explore the power of sexuality in our lives—for the good as well as the bad as is more common in polite literary fiction—carry on the great literary tradition of speaking out about the passions and conflicts that we all live with every day but that the authorities would prefer we keep hidden for the sake of social order.

With women’s access to birth control still considered a matter of public debate, we must admit we live in a society where it is still a revolutionary act to acknowledge that ordinary, “decent” people have sex for pleasure.  Just as both sexes benefit from the availability of birth control, both men and women gain from the chance to express their personal truths about their sexual desires.  Even if men have traditionally been allowed more sexual agency than women, they’ve still been subject to significant restrictions that merit full examination and exposure.

By writing erotic stories that express the unique styles and tastes of real people, we are proclaiming that sex doesn’t have to be silenced.  Nor must it be relegated to the realm of the XXX pornography industry where the rules are so very different from the world we live in:  strangers have sex within minutes of meeting in positions that are strictly camera friendly; all women have multiple orgasms with minimal stimulation; and all men have huge penises and prefer to ejaculate outside of their lover’s body.

Now, I don’t mean to revive the old debate of what constitutes porn (usually seen as visual, male-oriented, and subversive) versus erotica (usually characterized as written, female-oriented, and thus less threatening to the social fabric as long as feeling is involved).  Whatever you want to call erotic expression that celebrates the fullness of the human sexual experience, the powers of the mind and imagination as well as the body, is fine by me.

The important thing is that we keep up our courage when so many still try to marginalize our work and value each new story as a chance to tell the truth about what it means to be human.  If you define a good story as one that stays with you, I’ve read more memorably good erotic stories than any other kind. 

So keep writing and keep changing the world—one erotic story at a time!

Donna George Storey is the author of the erotic novel, Amorous Woman.  Her short stories have recently appeared in Best Women’s Erotica 2012, Best Erotic Romance, and The Best of Best Mammoth Erotica.  Learn more  at http://www.facebook.com/DGSauthor.

All About Pleasure: Stimulate Your Senses

by Donna George Storey

A new year always brings a sense of adventure and possibility, and I’m fortunate to part of a very exciting new adventure here at the ERWA blog.  It’s a real honor to be in the line-up of regular monthly columnists, all of whom I admire greatly as erotica writers and mentors.

As you may know, I write a column every other month for the ERWA website called “Cooking Up a Storey,” which combines a meditation on the writing process with a tasty recipe.  For the blog format, it struck me that a sort of miniature version of “Cooking” would be fun to write.  Coincidentally, I noticed that the #100 entry on this year’s Saveur magazine’s 100 list is mignardises (meeng-yar-deez), the tiny, artful sweets that are served as the last course of a grand meal in French and other fine restaurants.  In “All About Pleasure,” I’ll offer you a monthly tidbit, a literary mignardises if you will, to remind you that writing erotica is sweet and hopefully leave you inspired to create your own.

January is a month when we all need a little extra inspiration, so I decided to start with one of the most powerful foundations of good erotica—the vivid, fresh expression of sensual pleasure.

Writing requires us to pay attention to everything around us, even the most humble and ordinary things.  Without this focus, this desire to transform sensual experience into evocative words, we could not capture the truth of human experience in our own fresh voice.  Better still, paying attention to the amazing world around me invariably brings pleasure and often awe.  I liken this to the scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy wakes up in Technicolor Oz after a dreary life in black-and-white Kansas.  This intensity of awareness is what readers expect from writing, and it’s what will keep them coming back for more.

With fifteen years of fiction writing behind me, I sometimes take the process for granted.  I can dash off a decent, publishable story for a deadline while drawing from my archives of moments of heightened sensual awareness.  But I think even veteran writers can use a reminder of what really matters in a story.  A good writer captures experience from the inside, thus allowing the reader to enter the world of the story fully.  In the best case, our fantasy might begin to seem more real and true than anything he has experienced in his own life.  As in sex, the fresher and more wondrous it is for you, the better it will be for your partner, the reader.  This is particularly true for erotica.

So, with the rekindling of sensitivity and wonder in mind, I’d like to offer a classic exercise in sensual awareness, known in Japanese as monoawase (moan-oh-ah-wah-say).  A thousand years ago, during the age of The Tale of Genji, it was a court pastime to compare thoughtfully different types of incense or pottery or poetry or rice wine.  The purported goal was to discern the blend of ingredients and their place of origin by sensual properties alone, but in the process, the critic had to hone her senses and pay close attention to the components.  It is that part of the experience that is of real value to a writer.

In spite of the exotic name, the exercise is quite simple.  Choose two pleasurable things to compare (“pleasurable” is, well, more pleasurable, but you can go with whatever adjective suits your current writing project).  An obvious choice is two squares of different brands of dark chocolate—since Valentine’s Day is on the horizon—but two brands of Greek yogurt or two types of apple or tangerine or two lovers in one bed will serve just as well.  The two things don’t really need to be similar either, just comparable, which I suppose means anything.  Whatever you choose, your next step is to procure a piece of paper, a writing implement, and a place free of distractions.

Take a deep breath, and let’s begin (I’ll assume we’re dealing with two small pieces of good-quality chocolate—any complaints?)

First undress the chocolate slowly.  Note the sensation of the paper, the crackle as it tears.  Take a good look at the chocolate itself, jot down notes if you like.  Describe the color, the relative glossiness of each.  Do they look different than you thought?

Treat the chocolate like fine wine—perhaps the only consumable we are allowed to imbibe with such ritualistic reverence in Western culture.  Take in the fragrance slowly.  The challenge here is to describe the experience.  You can use the language of wine critics to describe the scents—earthy, hints of vanilla, more obvious with mint or strike out into new territory.  Our sense of smell is most directly connected to memory.  Perhaps the pieces of chocolate evoke particular memories for you?

Some practitioners of monoawase say the item they are appreciating speaks or whispers to them.  What is the chocolate saying to you? How can you transform the “voice” of the chocolate into your own words?

Next taste a small bite of the chocolate, no more than a third of the square.  The first taste is going to be the most intense.  Let it sit in your mouth and pay attention to the process and tactile experience as well as the taste.  What does it feel like on your tongue?  Do the flavors change?  Jot down a few notes, then take another bite.

Once you feel you’ve gotten as much as you can out of the exercise, feel free to stuff the rest in your mouth and get lost in pure indulgence!

Monoawase is perfect for threesomes in bed, especially if you’re in the middle, but can this exercise be translated into an erotic experience with a long-term partner?  Indeed, as in haiku poetry, the limitations of form can inspire a profoundly creative result.  A favorite contrast game for me involves oral sex and a cup of hot tea.  Take a mouthful of tea, let it warm your mouth, and swallow.  Then immediately put your mouth to your lover’s tender parts—for both male and female, the intense warmth is bound to elicit a gasp of surprise and pleasure.  Or focus on the tactile—stroking your lover’s body with a piece of fur or silk or one of those sex toy store mitts that are fur on one side and leather on the other.

Compare and contrast.  Once it was a meaningless exercise on essay exams in high school.  Now it’s a way to hone your writer’s skills, an excuse to eat lots of chocolate, and a reason to have oral sex while you’re drinking your tea. This focused celebration of the senses is the foundation of good sensual writing.

So go write something vividly, enchantingly and deliciously sexy—and change the world!

Donna George Storey is the author of the erotic novel, Amorous Woman.  Her short stories have recently appeared in Best Women’s Erotica 2012, Best Erotic Romance, and The Best of Best Mammoth Erotica.  Learn more  at http://www.facebook.com/DGSauthor.

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Hot Chilli Erotica

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