List Poems

The List Poem – A Writing Exercise

 by Ashley Lister

 Happy New Year everyone. I’m genuinely hoping that 2017 will
be a year when we can all find the happiness and love that seemed to be such a
scarce commodity during 2016. And, as this is my first post of the year, I
figured I’d start with a fairly accessible form of poetry: the list poem.

That Bedroom Drawer

Condoms, dildos and a long-eared bunny
Novelty nipple-tassels that look quite funny
A thumb drive of films from PornoTube
And lots and lots and lots of lube

Crops and paddles and pairs of canes
An electric device powered by the mains
Lacy corsets, a satin basque
A leather morphsuit (with gimp mask)
A mould for making rude ice cubes
And tubes of fruity flavoured lube

Various hairbrushes, that have never seen hair
Toys that we will use (down there)
Sexy toys for sexy play
Loads of sexy lingerie
Cuffs and cats and broad bullwhips
A gag to go between your lips
Sexy clamps that bite at boobs
And lots and lots more tubes of lube

The list poem is a simple form.  We’re not looking for a particular rhyme
scheme or meter.  All that we need is a
list of items that suggest a larger picture. Back in 1989, Billy Joel sang ‘We
Didn’t Start the Fire’ and used the list form to provide lyrics that gave a
chilling view of post-World War II history. Before that we have list poems in
sonnet form from the likes Elizabeth Barret Browning with Sonnet 43 ‘How do I
love thee, let me count the ways…’

It’s a fun way to approach without the confines and
restrictions of a rigid form and structure. And, as with all poetry, it can be lots
of fun.  As always, I look forward to
seeing your poems in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise – The List Poem

 By Ashley Lister

One of my favourite poetic standbys is the
list poem. Because, in real life, I’m a serial list-writer, I find it easy to
slip into the mindset of writing lists. Maybe it’s something to do with having the name ‘Lister’?

This is from a poem I wrote a few years
back entitled ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’. It will be
noted that the word WOFT is an acronym for Waste Of F*****g Time.

Have
I muted my mobile?

Is
my mouth fixed in a smile?

Can
I slyly check my watch?

Dare
I scratch my itchy crotch?

Can
I count the ceiling tiles?

Will
all this sitting give me piles?

I’ve written mine rhyming couplets,
although that’s just personal preference. These can work in blank verse or with
a rhyming structure behind them. What sort of lists would be appropriate for an
erotic poem? How about a list of things I think about whilst blindfolded? What
about a list of things I think about when you’re away? Or  list of things I should have said? This is
how ‘A List of Things I Think About During WOFT Meetings’ continues:

The chair’s
a witless pseud pretender

Who
brings a typo-plagued agenda

He’s
followed by his office flunkies

A
troop of trite arse-kissing monkeys

Collective
covens then collude

Whilst
fat ones focus on free food

And
everyone gets their free drink

They’re
here to eat and chat – not think

And
I stare at my blank notepad

And
tell myself it’s not that bad

Whilst
letting my self-esteem diminish

And
wond’ring: “When will this crap finish?”

Should
I know that woman’s name?

Dare
I check my watch again?

How
long ago did this shit start?

How
long can I hold in this fart?

As always, I look forward to seeing your
poems in the comments box below.

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Hot Chilli Erotica

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