NSFW

Why We Enjoy Swinging?

F*** and B**

By Larry Archer

Why do we enjoy the Lifestyle is an interesting question that occasionally we get asked? Occasionally is because there are not a lot of reasons for it to come up. Similar to being gay or trans, swinging is not a topic that you bring up with your straight friends.

Generally speaking, I believe most straights assume that we spend all our time in bed with somebody else’s husband or wife. While that may be true to somewhat of a degree, the Lifestyle is a lot more than fucking and sucking.

When you are with other couples, the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and stressfree. You don’t have to worry about your other half playing grabass with someone else after a few drinks. While there is a fair possibility that it may, in fact, happen, it doesn’t mean a problem. Just pull up a chair and enjoy the view or take care of someone else.

Certainly, there is an initial adjustment period for most couples, and some will bail initially as they can’t come to grips with their spouse sleeping with another. It’s natural to have some jealousy when your wife is getting her brains fucked out, but it’s funny how quickly that passes.

We always tell new couples to try and keep it even as it’s hard to be upset when you’re getting your bell also rang at the same time your wife is getting off. So if one of you is partying, then hopefully the other is also. The point to keep in mind is that this is simply sex and nothing else. Swinging is not cheating, and there is no love involved.

You are not slipping off for a nooner at Motel 6 or tipping the gardeners with a gangbang. Plus the neat thing is you can tell your other half all about it. If you cheat with that hot MILF in accounting, who are you going to tell about the blowjob you got in the storeroom, certainly not your wife?

It might seem strange at first, but getting sloppy seconds from your wife while she’s telling you exactly what she just did to some other guy or girl is so neat. A lot of guys enjoy watching their wife with other men, and being in the Lifestyle allows you to do that without worrying about what could happen.

New couples may think it’s better to start with another couple, but I think larger parties are a better choice. With only one other couple, you may have to take one for the team or a “charity fuck” as we call them. You can certainly say no, but you may feel somewhat forced to get with the other person as you’ll both be in the living room looking at each other while your other half is getting his lights drilled out.

At a house party, you are free to pick a different partner or not do anything if you desire. Just because your husband is with someone’s wife, doesn’t mean that you have to go with her husband. When your choices are greater, it’s more likely that you’ll find someone you like.

Sometimes, the wife is the ticket for the husband to get in the door, and people will quickly pick up on the fact, she never parties. This will typically mean that invitations for the next party will quickly dry up. Swinging is an event for both parties, and if you both don’t want to do it, maybe you should take up bowling.

If a cuckold – Hotwife couple are not swingers, they end up having to pick up random guys at a bar or possibly at work. This can be fraught with potential problems. If she goes off with a person or couple at a party, everyone knows where their partner is, and you don’t have to worry about them getting raped or attacked.

Certainly, couples can make this work, but for new couples, be careful. One couple we know had just flown in from somewhere and decided to get a drink at the airport bar. The wife ended up taking a hockey team back to the motel for a gangbang. Her husband said that it was incredible watching his wife take on the whole team.

Straight guys tend to freak out if the husband asks if he can watch! One of our best friends is a Hotwife, and she’d been taking care of guys before they started swinging. Her husband would sometimes be frustrated as he couldn’t find a place to hide and watch from. He had to be satisfied with her giving him a blow by blow detailed story afterward.

Now he can stand by the bed and jerk off or hide in the closet and peek out without anyone thinking he’s weird. With us, he likes to video his wife so he can enjoy it over and over. She’s a blonde MILF with an awesome body, and she often goes out with my wife and I. They are both exhibitionists and enjoy flirting and showing off to strange guys and girls.

We have a Corvette convertible with only two seats, so one has to sit in the other’s lap which always generates interesting comments from passersby. She was initially not very BI but was quickly converted by my wife, who’s more into girls than guys, unless he’s well built, .i.e. hung (LOL).

For me, the swing scene offers a ton of benefits, especially if you enjoy your wife showing off and being able to check out the girls at a party. A big chunk of the women are exhibitionists and being able to show off their bodies without snide remarks is a big plus for them.

Wifey loves to flirt and gets a charge out of “accidentally” showing off to straights at a bar. She never wears a bra and is often commando. So bending over to show off the assets gives her a thrill. When there are several couples at a bar, the girls typically put on a show for everyone. We like our wives to be the center of attention and don’t have to worry about them running off with someone. Plus they know they are safe and protected in case someone gets the wrong idea.

Boredom is a common problem among marrieds. No matter how much fun it is to be with your other half, there’s always a thrill when you are with someone different. It’s called the Seven Year Itch for a reason, and being able to scratch that itch without causing a divorce is a good thing.

While swinging will not fix a bad marriage and will likely finish it off. But, for couples in a stable relationship, it can add spice to a good marriage.

This is Larry Archer signing off till this time next month. Hit me up if you have any questions, or check out my blog at LarryArcher.blog. I’m now on MeWe.com, which is a new uncensored type of FaceBook and uncensored Tumblr combined. My handle is Larry Archer Author or click this link.

MeWe is new but quickly getting their act together. Searching is a little hit or miss, but Google works pretty good, and it’s nice that it’s uncensored and FREE!

What Am I Writing – or Did I Forget My Meds?

What Am I Writing? Or Did I Forget My Meds?

By Larry Archer

Caution, this is another long post so get a fresh cup of coffee before starting.

This is my third blog post for ERWA, and I’ve been conflicted as DropBox calls it. You know when you forget to close a DropBox document on one computer then you open the document and edit it on another computer. DropBox raps you across the knuckles like the nun in third-grade with her ruler.

While I’ve never had the pleasure of going to Catholic school and feel they failed miserably with my wife. Maybe the fact that she skipped out and went to public high school that she now has a rekindled desire for little school girl outfits but hey, who’s complaining? Those white thigh socks, black shiny buckle shoes, and ruffled white ankle socks are so neat. It’s just hard to find Mary Janes with 6-inch spike heels.

I’m writing this on my new MacBook Air and trying not to choke my chicken when I see her lying there, all opened up like a beautiful woman, who’s begging me to touch her with my fingers, the MBA that is.

Like the guy sitting on a park bench, in his raincoat, clutching a bag of candy with greasy fingers waiting for school to be over, the MBA loves me, but we have to be careful because my wife’s getting suspicious about our “alone time” in the bathroom.

I’ve always been a Windows kind of guy and not like my friend Jack who likes to stand outside and watch his wife through the bedroom window. Like everyone else, I bought into the theory that Apple people had drunk the Kool-Aid else why would they spend a bunch more money for a laptop with a half-eaten apple on it?

Going on six years or 3-raincoats ago, I was frustrated with my then Windows laptop. Sort of like Ray Charles, I could close my eyes and let the fevered scene play out between my ears as my fingers tried desperately to keep up with the action.

Then I’d look down and realize that I’d written a page of garbage because I’d mistyped some prose with my fingers on the wrong keys. Mr. Rogers my high school typing teacher would rip the yellow sheet out of my Underwood and scream, “Archer, all you’re good for is writing shit they keep behind the counter in a brown paper bag!”

As we all know, when you’ve tried everything else to solve a problem, throw money at it! By this time, I’d been through three laptops, and Wifey was getting suspicious about the fact my credit card statement was starting to smoke when you pulled it out of the envelope. In desperation, I bought a 2012 MBA, and it was love at first sight. Open her up, and she would instantly light up like a drunk college girl, ready for action and no foreplay required. She never told me no and never had a headache. To touch her was exquisite, your fingers fall naturally on the keys, and the touch is like a mechanical keyboard, without all the clicking noises.

To be able to type with one-tenth the level of mistakes and a battery that never went down on you. I was hooked and wanted more, much more until I got seduced by a new line of Windows laptops.

Since the MacBook Air’s seemed to lose favor with their CPU’s slipping further and further behind, I jumped ship and bought a high-end Windows 10 machine with the top box checked in every category.

My wife being a Luddite and who struggles to understand how to operate a light switch, it only seemed natural to re-gift my trusted MBA to her. I was surprised to see how quickly she became adept with the 3-pound marvel.

I, on the other hand, started to beat my head against the wall. My new machine’s touchpad had a mind of its own and apparently didn’t need any help from me to make mistakes. I spent hours with tech support and even had the touchpad replaced to no avail. Others on the vendor’s website were similarly upset.

Foxy said that she’d give me my Air back, but I couldn’t do that and just struggled in silence. Certainly, my new machine was cool, huge hard drive, bunches of memory, fast i7 processor, but using it always managed to piss me off.

One day she asked me to help to do something on her computer, and as soon as my fingers touched the keyboard, I was back in love. It’s kind of like when you’re doing the neighbor’s wife and will steal little touches when no one is looking, but that’s a whole different post.

After that brief illicit moment, I went right down and bought a new MacBook Air with a 3-generation old CPU but no matter, I’m back in love again. Of course the day my new MBA was delivered, I read that Apple is going to bring out an updated Air in the next few months!

I know that you’re telling yourself, this post is supposed to be about what I’m writing and not about my forbidden love affair with my machine, sort of like Wifey and her LeLo vibrator, except without all the buzzing.

My latest story, “Crashing a Swinger’s Pajama Party,” is rapidly coming to a finish and I thought I’d share a little with you about the story as it’s been a real hoot to write.

Lisabet Sarai and I converse a fair amount off-list about writing and story ideas. I mentioned to her that we’d had a straight couple crash one of our New Year’s Eve Pajama Parties and she suggested that we create a story based on it.

We keep trying to write a story together, but our styles of writing bump heads and we can never seem to get our stories straight, “Fake News!”

But I’m slowly getting the impression that we’re starting to rub off on each other. I’m learning to type with my little finger stuck out, and she seems to be getting more comfortable with her mind wallowing in the gutter. Sort of like that little sailboat and the clown in the sewer drain.

Anyway, I was telling Lisabet about the time we had one of our straight neighbors crash our annual New Year’s Eve Pajama Parties. For some years now we’ve hosted a pajama party to welcome in the new year. It gives kissing under the mistletoe, a whole new meaning.

The PJ party is typically 50-60 couples plus an assortment of unicorns that we run with and 2-3 single guys thrown in for good measure. There are always people from around the country that we’ve met in our travels, for flavor. So by midnight, there are well more than one-hundred naked or semi-naked people in our house. Victoria Secret is proud of us!

We carefully select the invitees and make sure that no one is invited that could cause a problem. Most of the people are professionals, doctors, business owners, and a handful of elected officials, not including the cops. Cops, doctors, and nurses are some of the most perverted when they let their hair down. We have to be really careful who we invite as some of our party animals are also on the social pages and being outed would not be a good thing.

One morning after a New Year’s party, I was reading the paper and on the society page was a couple who’d also come late to our party. The woman was wearing an exquisite dress cut down almost to where the crack of her butt started. The society editor was buzzing about what a knockout she was and how that dress was scandalous. I laughed as I remembered that dress lying in a pile on the family room floor after my wife had pulled down her zipper and let it slide off. 

Anyway, after midnight, the doorbell rings and me being the idiot I am, answer the door. Standing in front of me is an attractive couple dressed to the nines. It was the couple, we somewhat knew from down the street, and I’m standing there with a short bathrobe on and nothing else.

It was somewhat embarrassing, but they asked if they could join our party as theirs was a snooze fest. Not knowing what to do I invited them in. Foxy joined me, and she was wearing her typical New Year’s outfit of an adult sized pair of kid’s long johns with bunnies on it. Except she wears it with all the buttons undone and so is open down to her bellybutton.

You can imagine their shock to see an orgy going on in the living room and all the people running around in teddies or much less.

We invited them to stay, but I think the shock value was too much for the husband. His wife looked like she wanted to stay. This is where the story Lisabet and I are working on diverged from reality.

She fired back with a suggested list of chapters, and we were off to the races.

With our sick minds, it was easy to suck the new couple in and throw them to the wolves. Greg, the dominating always in charge husband quickly discovered that he really wasn’t in control at all, courtesy of Foxy and her assortment of painful toys. Greg’s new word for the day was “pegged.”

Samantha, the otherwise “normal” housewife, was quickly divested of clothes as she realized that she was at an all-you-can-eat buffet or maybe the main course, depending on which end was up.

My stories are always HEA, but I keep getting told that a story needs conflict and resolution, yet mine always seem to lack conflict as everyone is too busy getting laid to fight. So it only seemed natural for Samantha to give Greg his walking papers and move in with the swingers down the street. She quickly discovered that it was a lot more fun to play, “hide the weenie,” with the neighborhood perverts.

But poor Greg was sent home with our real life cuckold – Hotwife couple, Pam and Jack, who proceed to take him within an inch of his life while giving him a sunburn with studio lights. If you look up nymphomaniac in the dictionary, you’ll find a picture of our friend Pam, who is one of our resident MILFs. Jack is typically hiding in the closet watching or behind his movie camera.

So now I’ve gotten the neighbors split up, but so far they’ve not realized that they are the conflict part of my story. Greg has figured out that there is truth to the story of being screwed to death but is trying to soldier on. He’s afraid of coming back to our house as the last time Foxy and our redheaded Amazon Chrissy took turns pegging him. But he seems to be a good sport about everything, well except for the beatings!

Naturally, we didn’t want his wife to feel left out as she seemed to be enthralled by the idea of a gangbang and pulling a train. Why should we let her miss that experience? Now every time she hears a train whistle, she feels a tingle between her legs!

The story now stands over 40,000 words, and I’m trying to get the estranged couple back together again so the story can end up HEA. Lisabet and I are planning on co-releasing two stories in the next couple of months, so I should have time to finish it up. I’m looking at this blog post’s word count, and it’s at 1,700 words, and I’ve been trying to hold my posts down to under 1,000 words but not having much success.

You’ll have to wait a few weeks to see how the story comes out. Will Larry write his first non-HEA story, will Greg learn to love the sound of the whip? Or will Foxy sell Greg’s wife to a German Goo Girls movie producer? Check LarryArcher.blog for more ramblings from my perverted mind.

I promise Lisabet, my next blog post will be shorter!

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

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