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Researching Stories, Or I Wonder How Big The FBI’s File On Me Is

by | August 28, 2019 | | 2 Comments

I often joke that considering my Google search history for writing research purposes, the FBI must have a massive file on me. I’m surprised I don’t get Pornhub spam in my email box. Here are some examples of my more amusing searches:

  1. What is the Altoids blow job myth?
  2. When is Steak and BJ day?
  3. Bigfoot erotica
  4. Cuckold fetish
  5. How to do pegging
  6. Lactation erotica

Research is an important part of a writer’s life. There are many ways to do research that will help you write a good book or short story. I read books on the subject matter I am studying. I also talk to people who are knowledgeable on a subject I am researching. For example, when I wanted to conduct an interview with Sexologist Dr. Petra Boynton to learn more about women’s sexuality, I contacted her directly. When I was writing an article about writers and jealousy, I posted on Facebook asking my friends for their own personal experiences with the green monster. I heard from plenty of people. Not only did I get good articles out of talking directly to people, I learned a few new things. It’s very beneficial to reach outside your own head and talk to others.

With Google at my fingertips, there is very little I cannot find online. Any time I have a question or concern about sex, erotic writing, and romance, I go to Google. It does take some doing to separate the wheat from the chaff, but I invariably find what I’m looking for. I used to write for Sexis Magazine and the U. K. publication nuts4chic. My articles ran the gamut of topics from men faking orgasms to hotel sex. I often relied on breaking and weird news stories to inspire my articles. The fallout from these searches has been both infuriating and humorous.

My privacy has been invaded on numerous occasions. I’m sure readers have experienced searching for something on Google – say, erotic shaving – and then find their Facebook feeds full of ads for razors. Social media spies on us. I find that to be a bit disconcerting but it’s a fact of life and I can’t avoid it. The purpose of social media is not to help connect us with friends and family but to send our information to advertisers who will spam our email boxes with junk. My Amazon, Google, and Facebook searches and commentary influence the kinds of ads Facebook tosses my way.

I’m sure writers reading this article have experienced Amazon recommending their own books for them to purchase. Same here. What you search for on Amazon influences what the behemoth store will recommend for you to buy. I’ve searched for big boob erotica for many of my stories and I’m inundated with bra ads. I figure if I’m going to be spammed I’d might as well make it worthwhile so I’ve searched for things like teabagging, cybersex, which states ban the sale of sex toys, hospital sex toy horror stories, and more. My inbox is… entertaining.

I’ll continue to conduct my writing research as I see fit. I just have to get used to my inbox being full of spam about bondage harnesses, the latest erotica awards, and singles groups for older people. I’ve added my email to the government’s no spam list but they somehow still find me. Despite the annoyance, I will find information I need on a wide variety of erotic topics that are necessary for my fiction writing. And I’ll have fun doing it.

———

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her three cats. Coming in September, 2019 – her story “The Beautiful Moves in Curves” will appear in “Dangerous Curves Ahead”, an anthology of sexy stories about plus-sized women. Look for it at Amazon.

Web site: http://elizabethablack.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/b76GWD

Social Media for Authors

by | March 31, 2018 | | 2 Comments

When I first started publishing twenty years ago, there was no such thing as social media. The only way to promote your books was to pay for it or hope your publisher did a damn good job for you.

Much has changed in that time, for better and for worse. With the advent of social media, authors found that they could do their own promotion by building a presence online. That presence could be used to connect with readers and network with other writers and potential publishers.

That was before social media outfits like Facebook and Twitter began to rely so heavily on paid advertising, authors were able to have successful marketing campaigns that cost nothing upfront simply by posting to social media channels. Today, it’s a lot harder to get your books to go viral.

The Social Media Giants

Facebook

On Facebook, posting about your newest book to your fan page results in very few people actually seeing it, regardless of the number of followers you have, unless you shell out money. If you do, Facebook will deign to let a selection of your followers see your message in their feeds—if they don’t deem your ad to be in poor taste.

If you’re in erotica author, there’s a high likelihood that some random person on the Facebook staff is going to think your book is in bad taste, even if it does include the most inventive uses of maple syrup and whipped cream. So you’re out of luck on both accounts. People can’t learn about your books unless you pay Facebook, and Facebook won’t let you pay them so you can let people know about your books.

Twitter

On Twitter, the marketing pipeline isn’t so strict. But posts by real people often get drowned out by the voices of bad actors—people who open multiple fake accounts to amplify their own voices and make their opinions seem more popular than they actually are. (And lest I be accused of bringing American politics into this blog, I was actually talking about Kenya, where misinformation campaigns meant to sway elections were orchestrated from outside the country, with Twitter hashtags playing a role.)

Twitter recently changed its policies to take away the megaphone from these bad actors. The new policies prohibit one person from publishing the same message to multiple Twitter accounts or using a hashtag on multiple Twitter accounts to make it seem more popular than it actually is,  and seem to discourage coordination among users who are working together to get a particular topic or hashtag trending.

These changes could help authors, but Twitter’s vagueness over the last part of its new policies could also harm them. I know plenty of authors—including erotica authors—who depend on group tweeting tools like Triberr and Thunderclap to get the word out about their books. But Twitter leaves it unclear as to whether those tools violate the new rules.

Other social media

Facebook and Twitter are the most established players, but sometimes authors use other social media channels to reach their readers.

Instagram

Instagram, a photo-based social media platform, is popular with millennials but not an ideal marketing platform in terms of direct book promotion because any links that you put in your post won’t work. Instagram does not allow hyperlinks in personal accounts, only business accounts— and because Instagram is owned by Facebook, you can be pretty sure that it will soon follow Facebook’s steps and hide posts from businesses on readers feeds unless the businesses pay advertising fees.

Pinterest

I’ve heard from romance readers that Pinterest can be a great marketing tool. How? I have no idea. But self-publishing genius Mark Dawson offers a free download, Pinterest for Authors, that promises to explain the process.

Tumblr

Teens and preteens make up a huge segment of Tumblr users. Older users tend to be diehard fans of specific television shows or movies, and very rarely engage with anything on Tumblr that doesn’t directly relate to their fannish or political interests. So despite the plethora of Russian porn bots plaguing the site, it’s not a great place to share erotic unless it’s of the fanfic kind. But if you’re a YA writer, sign up!

What’s a writer to do with social media?

Still, many publishers expect authors to be active on social media. It’s not uncommon these days for publishers to include a contract requirement that authors have a social media presence.

That’s why I got on social media when I started publishing fiction again a few years ago. It wasn’t the most comfortable move, as I had intentionally or closed down most of my social media accounts over privacy concerns. But it wasn’t completely foreign, either.  Despite my own qualms about the technology, I’d actually managed social media for several small businesses even when I wasn’t playing with it on my own.

Does social media work as a book marketing tool?

Now that I’ve been intentionally interacting on social media as an author for a few years, probably spending around an hour a day on it, I’m in a place where I can start to evaluate its effectiveness.

Does social media work as a book marketing tool? Directly, no. Gone are the days when it was easy to go viral. If you are looking for a quick return that is proportional to the amount of time and effort you put into it, social media is not going to help you.

It takes an enormous amount of energy to rise above other voices on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest—or even to get heard at all. And Facebook sabotages most attempts at connecting with readers by actively hiding them from readers’ newsfeeds.

It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. If readers have never heard of you, they’re not interested in hearing about your books. And if you don’t tell them about your books, how will they know who you are?

Creating effective social media…

To become known on social media, you have to offer something unique to your followers. An endless stream of advertisements is not unique. You have to make friends with them too, at least to a degree. You don’t want them to feel like they’re nothing to you but dollar signs. So  share some things within that you care about. Your cats, your horrible puns, your favorite paint colors.

What does this have to do with writing? Nothing directly. But over the years (yes, years), your online presence starts paying dividends. At first, this will probably be through the connections you build with other authors. You’ll scratch each other’s backs by sharing each other’s book news. Then you’ll start to genuinely like some of them, and they’ll start to genuinely like you. Maybe they’ll gush about your book on their Facebook or Twitter feeds, and a few of their readers will check it out. And a few more years later, when those readers have told their friends, who told a couple of their friends, and so on and so forth into infinity, you might have a decent-sized readership.

…and social media that bites you in the ass.

In the meantime, you’ll alienate other readers with your political rants, your pictures of your cat, or the fact that you used the word “moist” in a tweet. You’ll have gotten emotionally caught up in a few online dramas that seemed very important at the time, but were really only important to those following a specific hashtag—and you can no longer remember why you cared so much about them. These emotional dramas will take your focus away from writing. So will the time you spend responding to tweets and commenting on photos of other people’s dogs and pinning inspirational photos on Pinterest.

And no matter how many followers you have, it’s unlikely that relying on social media as your only marketing platform will lead to so many books sales that you can make writing your full-time job.

So, Dale, should I be on social media?

Social media marketing can work, but there is a cost. you need to figure out how much of that emotional and time cost you can bear. If you do engage in social media, be intentional about it:

  • Try not to get caught up in arguments and drama that end up taking away from your writing time.
  • Before you open that Facebook or Twitter page “just to see if I need to respond to any tweets or comments,” set a timer for ten minutes. When that timer goes off and catches you watching a video of the cutest little capybara clan grazing next to the Amazon River, close the browser, even if you didn’t get around to responding to any of those tweets or comments. Sooner or later, it will train yourself to use your time wisely. (Of course, if your latest project is a paranormal tale centered on capybara shifters, keep on watching that video. Research is important.)
  • Install an app like StayFocusd on your browser to limit the amount of time you spend on social media each day. If you direct it to limit your time on Facebook to half an hour, Facebook will disappear from your browser at the thirty-minute mark, and you can go back until the next day.

In other words, if a new author asked me whether they should get in involved in social media, this would be my answer: “Yes, but …”

Life Hacks For Writers

by | June 28, 2016 | | 8 Comments

Elizabeth Black writes in a wide variety of genres including erotica, erotic romance, horror, and dark fiction. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and her three cats. Visit her web site, her Facebookpage, and her Amazon Author Page.

Her new m/m erotic medical thriller Roughing It is out! This book is a sexy cross between The X Files and The Andromeda Strain. Buy it at Amazon!

You’ve seen those web articles about life hacks. Stuff like pouring iced tea into ice cube trays so your tea doesn’t dilute. Punching holes in the lid of an orange juice container so that it may function as a water pitcher for plants. When freezing raw meat, flatten it out in the plastic baggie as much as possible to cut down on thawing time. You get my drift. Have you ever wondered what kinds of life hacks for writers exist? Look no further! Here are a few I dreamed up.

1. Turn your phone off. Get off the Internet. That means no Facebook or Twitter. The point is, cut off contact with the outside world so you aren’t distracted. As the meme says, you should be writing.

2. Many writers like to drink while they write, whether it’s wine, cocktails, coffee or tea. Or something else. Coffee is elixir of the gods though, according to nearly every writer I’ve ever spoken to. Keeping the brew hot is a major concern. I use a travel mug that keeps my drinks cool or hot. If you don’t want to go that route, but you don’t want your coffee getting cold on you, invest in a Mr. Coffee Mug Warmer. I picked up this handy little hint at Positive Writer.

3. Make up your mixed drinks ahead of time. I like Negronis, so my husband and I bought bottles of Campari, gin, and sweet vermouth. We mixed equal parts of each and poured them into a container we keep in the fridge. This way, by making your cocktails ahead of time, you don’t waste writing time measuring, mixing, shaking and stirring and getting out of your groove. You pour your drink and BAM! Back to writing.

5. Invest in a water boiler. I use one by Zojirushi. You won’t have to wait for your water to boil when you’re making coffee or tea. It’s in the boiler, ready for you. You can even use the boiler to make ramen. My husband and I take ours with us when we travel for fun or for conventions and retreats. We can have hot drinks 24/7 in our room without having to wander down to the hotel lobby, thanks to the boiler.

6. Collect music compilations that match the mood of what you are writing. When I write those smoldering sex scenes, I like to listen to Enigma and Lords of Acid. Both are incredibly hot. When I write horror and dark fiction, I listen to the Internet radio station Drone Zone. It’s full of dark ambient and minimalistic electronic music.

7. If you need to get out of the house because you have a scorching case of cabin fever, go to a location that allows you to stay for a bit with your laptop but does not have wifi. That way, you won’t be tempted to spend too much time answering Buzzfeed quizzes when you should be writing. Make sure you bring cash with you so you don’t overspend your budget by using your debit card too much. Those coffee shops can be expensive. I also read about the cash idea at Positive Writer.

8. Get exercise balls for your feet so you don’t cramp or tire while seated for long periods of time. Another possibility is to get a standing desk. I read about them at Write On Sisters.

These are only a few suggestions for things to do to make your writing life easier and more enjoyable. Do you have any writing hacks? Feel free to tell me about them in comments.

Sexy Snippets for November

by | November 19, 2014 | | 22 Comments

Whoa! Almost slipped by me, what with everything else I’m doing, but I realized last night that today is 19th of November, which means that it’s Sexy Snippets Day!

The ERWA blog is not primarily intended for author promotion. However, we’ve decided we should give our author/members an occasional opportunity to expose themselves (so to speak) to the reading public. Hence, we have declared the 19th of every month at the Erotica Readers and Writers Association blog Sexy Snippet Day.

On Sexy Snippet day, any author can post a tiny excerpt (200 words or less) in a comment on the day’s post. Include the title from with the snippet was extracted, your name or pseudonym, and one buy link, if you’d like.

Feel free to share this with erotic author friends. It’s an open invitation!

Please follow the rules. If your excerpt is more than 200 words or includes more than one link, I’ll remove your comment and prohibit you from participating in further Sexy Snippet days. I’ll say no more!

After you’ve posted your snippet, feel free to share the post as a whole to Facebook, Twitter, or wherever else you think your readers hang out.

Have fun!

~ Lisabet

Author Behavior And Its Effect On Readers

by | August 28, 2014 | | 20 Comments

Elizabeth Black writes erotica, erotic romance, dark fiction, and horror. She lives on the Massachusetts coast with her husband, son, and four cats.

—–

Have you ever quit
reading an author because of the way that author acted on social media?

This question was
posed on Facebook by several authors. I saw it on author Rachel Thompson’s
timeline, and I wanted to know if my readers and other authors had ever done
it. I had read about allegations of child sexual abuse against Marion Zimmer
Bradley and I was already familiar with charges of homophobia against Orson
Scott Card. As I saw on Facebook and elsewhere, the news turned off many
readers as well as writers. After all, writers are readers, too.

I asked the same
question on m Facebook timeline and I received some fascinating answers.

In many cases,
yes, an author’s behavior may affect a person’s desire to get to know their
works. Diana Perrine noted that it’s “sometimes it is hard
to separate the Art from the Artist. Actors, Musicians, Authors, Painters and
Poets. If I like the art, but if I find the artist to be particularly loathsome,
I may not patronize him/her.” Tess MacKall found certain criminal acts a
deal-breaker. “If an author has committed a crime—and I’m not talking
about income tax evasion or getting caught with a prostitute—but a real crime
such as sexual abuse, murder, rape, etc., I’m never going to read anything by
that author again.” She said. “And I don’t care how talented the
author is. I will not put money in the pockets of a person like that.” Darren
Madigan brought up the career damage misbehavior can cause for an author or
celebrity: “If you’re really offended by some kind of behavior, then it
will doubtless make you not want to have anything to do with the person associated
with the behavior….  which is why
celebrities lose endorsement deals when they get caught misbehaving. ” He
said. “It’s normal and natural for people to feel alienated from
everything they associate with a person when that person behaves in a way that
offends them.”

Some authors named specific
writers. Karen Pokras Toz pointed out a fellow author had forwarded to her an
interview by Nicholas Sparks where he puts down women authors. She said
“Buh-bye.” I’ve never read Sparks either, and now I definitely won’t
touch his books since I feel insulted. Jeanne Evans has never read, and will
never read, anything by L. Ron Hubbard.

Not everyone agrees with these
assessments, however, and these disagreements make some authors controversial. Still,
It is helpful to separate the artist from his or her work. Devon Marshall said,
“For me it’s a case of don’t confuse the house with the inhabitant. What
an author (or an actor, director, or any creative person) does is create a
fiction, whether within a novel or a role or a painting, or whatever. What they
do with their creative fiction is not always who they are in reality. Liking a
person’s work doesn’t obligate me to like that person in reality. And vice
versa, I can like a person but dislike their work! It should also be borne in
mind that what we read about people on social media (be they celebrities or not)
may not always be either the whole story or even the truth.”

Raye Roeske has had personal experience with
poorly-acting or speaking authors. She said, “It’s mostly been authors/artists/whatever who have
personally been dickish to me or one of my loved ones.” More personal
experience from a reader: “I had an author follow me on twitter,
then not long after they chatted/commented on tweets, even gave me a snippet of
their book and once I said I’d bought the book they un followed me (keeping up
their follower vs followed numbers) it irritated me so unfollowed them.”
Xenia Smith said. “They then commented on the fact I’d unfollowed them.
Not really the way to keep new readers.
”

This distaste isn’t isolated to authors. Dave Gammon
said he was “very turned off a specific director that shall remain
anonymous. This individual seems to relish in correcting other people who are
simply stating their opinions and impressions and retaliating with his own
opinions as abstract as they are as facts. I think its a sign of emotional
insecurity to have to railroad someone else’s opinion because it differs from
their own. I think this individual has definitely tarnished my enthusiasm of
seeing anymore of their films.”

James Gummer was enjoying one particular author’s
works, but was turned off later. “I bought all of his books and
listened regularly to his podcast,” he said. “He acts and talks like
he wants to interact with people. But he never responded to any of my emails or
tweets when I had questions I wanted to ask.” Authors really do need to
keep up with their readers. It may be hard, but it’s necessary. One key to
success is friendly interaction.

One of the worst examples of author behavior I’ve ever
seen was described by John Hancock, who pointed out a possible explanation for
some of this behavior. He said: “I think the thing is that SOME
authors are very solitary, lacking in social skills, so when they enter social
media, they either think they can control or retaliate against fans or readers
whose reviews they don’t appreciate, or they simply come off as obnoxious
jerks.
” He described a rather horrific personal experience: “I once
wrote a negative review, in which I pointed out the misogynistic parts of the
book I found repulsive (threats of cutting off a woman’s breasts, and making
her eat them, for example). The author, and a group of his friends hounded me
and down voted all my reviews (even those for products unrelated to books) and
bragged about targeting me. Eventually I told him enough, I’d remove the review
if they’d stop harassing me. Simply not worth it. The sad thing is, everyone
once in a while, due to his robo social media campaign, I get requests to
follow him on Facebook or twitter. I would never read another book from this
person. I wouldn’t anyways, due to his repugnant attitudes towards women, but
also because he’s a bully to bad reviewers. God only knows how many bad reviews
he forced to retract, like mine.”

Some aren’t affected by an author’s actions or
statements. “I feel missing a good book or movie because of that
would just mean I can’t keep my thoughts separated and distinct in my
head,” John Paradiso said. The
opposite side would be readers who have picked up an author’s books because of
their pleasant social media personas. I doubt I would have read Trent Zelazny,
Douglas Clegg, KD Grace, or Tom Piccirilli if I hadn’t been exposed to them on
Facebook. I’d never heard of them before social media, and due to my exposure
to them and liking them as people, I discovered their works. John Ross Barnes
said much the same thing: “I have bought quite a few books by
authors I have discovered to be nice people on social media, and will continue
to do so.”

Some authors were exposed to new writers via different
formats. Christine Morgan said, “I’ve picked up books I might not have
otherwise just because the author seemed cool on a talk show or at a con or
something, yes. And I’ve avoided books for the reverse reason.” I recall
about several decades ago hearing a show on NPR in which Donald Westlake
discussed his new book “The Ax”. Westlake was such a delight and the
book sounded like such great fun that I soon after went to a bookstore and
bought it. I later devoured his Dortmunder books with great delight. Some
aren’t greatly influenced by what they read online or hear elsewhere. Jenifer Baldwin Stubbs may “try an
author because of social media…either I saw something I liked or someone I
like recommends, but I don’t let news, reviews or public behaviour really
influence my reading or watching.
”

Author radio interviews, book reviews,
and author profiles in newspapers and magazines are designed to sell books, but
they bring the author into your living room in a very comfortable and
easy-going way. You feel as if you’re right there with the author. If the book
sounds good, you’re more likely to buy it if you get a feel for the author.

And finally, Shar
Azade made the best point of all: “A lot of the authors I like are
dead. So if they suddenly got active on social media … I’d be a little
weirded out, yes.”

—–

Here’s where to find me on the web:

Elizabeth Black – Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/elizabethablack

Elizabeth Black – Twitter

http://twitter.com/ElizabethABlack

Elizabeth Black – Amazon Author Page

https://www.amazon.com/author/elizabethblack

Rites of the Savage Tribe

by | August 26, 2014 | | 6 Comments

by Jean Roberta

As an erotic writer, I’m always interested to learn about sexual cultures: what a particular demographic considers sexually acceptable, and what is taboo. As an instructor of first-year university courses, I’m interested in the culture of the age-group of my students (approximately 18-22, with some exceptions), as well as the high-school culture that most of them have just emerged from.

Very soon, I will be facing classrooms full of young adults. I will give them stories, poems, novels and essays to read, and I hope they find the printed words meaningful. I strongly suspect that literature written before the twenty-first century will seem outdated to most of them because they won’t recognize the persistence of certain social patterns.

One social event among today’s young that has been acknowledged in the media is the Teenage Sex Party: a group of high school students get together to drink, and (in many cases) indulge in other mind-bending substances. A gang-bang happens, either spontaneously (it seems like a good idea at the time), or pre-planned. In most cases that I’ve heard of, the event is largely spontaneous, though it often starts with one boy and one girl. The rest of the crowd piles on. (If there are same-sex Teenage Sex Parties, they don’t seem widely known.)

I suspect that this event happens much more often than many adults choose to believe. It’s easy enough to legislate a minimum age for drinking, driving, and consensual sex. It’s not really possible to legislate lust, curiosity, or recklessness, and teenagers of all genders have these qualities in abundance.

Note that I’m not expressing approval of the Teenage Sex Party. I’m just saying that it doesn’t freak me out. Many years ago, I was a teenage girl. Less long ago, I was the mother of a teenage girl.

Now here is the catalyst that propels a local event into the stratosphere of public discussion: someone has a recording device and takes pictures, or makes a little porn-movie of the event. Someone posts this on YouTube or some other social-media platform. The images go viral. The girl or girls in the Sex Party (who are usually outnumbered by boys) become targets of a lynch-mob of their peers.

In some cases, the girl who has become known as the Scarlet Whore of Whoville (or whatever town it is) changes schools to avoid the stigma, and finds that her reputation has preceded her. If she reads her email, she finds fresh insults and threats every day. She can’t concentrate in class, and wants to drop out of school. She can’t sleep. Her only support comes from her parents, who would like her to recover in a well-guarded facility. In a worst-case scenario, the girl commits suicide.

At this point, there is much hand-wringing in the media. The girl’s red-eyed parents ask why the police have not prosecuted the “rapists” who did this to their daughter. Various experts point out that vulnerable young women need to be better-protected from sexual exploitation. Some form of house arrest is often recommended, along with more old-fashioned parental “discipline.”

Seriously?

The frequent aftermath of the Teenage Sex Party, in which a girl is deprived of human status because of her perceived sexual behaviour, is parallel to the disfiguring, flogging, or murder of “fallen women” in cultures that practise fundamentalist religion in its most medieval forms. There is nothing especially modern or high-tech about any of this; it took place in the time of Christ, as recorded in the Bible. (Christ was against it.)

Let’s reconsider the party itself. In a case that was recently discussed on a daytime television talk show, the girl who was the centre of attention explained that she went to the party with the intention of having sex with one boy (presumably her boyfriend at the time). Another boy entered the room, and both boys persuaded her to let them take turns. By this time, everyone involved was highly intoxicated and higher than a kite, so it was hard for the girl to remember everything clearly. At some point, she became aware that the fourth guy had been replaced by a fifth guy. She couldn’t identify him, but she knew he hadn’t asked her permission.

The talk show host asked Scarlet (as I’ll call her) her if she knew the difference between sexual attention and sexual exploitation. He made it very clear that there was only one right answer to this question. She said yes, and agreed that what was done to her had crossed the line. The host then assured the girl’s anxious parents that the local police were wrong when they said the boys couldn’t be charged. The host promised to look into the case himself.

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Scarlet was clearly disturbed by the host’s promise to her parents that oh yes, those five boys could and should be punished. She said she didn’t think they should get criminal records. She seemed admirably loyal to the truth: the event had not been a clear-cut assault, and she had not been simply a victim of unwanted sex. She was still a victim of something that began right after the sex-party.

It’s incredibly hard for a teenage girl to maintain her integrity by telling the truth about her sexuality in the face of social pressure. In my day, there was rarely any objective evidence, but rumours abounded. When numerous classmates asked me whether it was true that I had “done it” with the boy who was bragging about this, I denied it. Admitting it would have opened up an abyss of shame in which I was afraid of being trapped for the rest of my life. Then, when boys asked me why most girls lie so much about what they really want and what they’ve really done, I cringed. I didn’t want to be a liar or a hypocrite, but I didn’t see any viable alternative.

Let’s think about sexual hypocrisy with regard to Scarlet and the boys from the party. Did the boys acquire terrible reputations at school because they were recognizable from the video on YouTube? Did anyone propose that the person who recorded the event without Scarlet’s consent (and who might not have been a participant) should be convicted of a crime?

I would like to see a talk show with a different focus on the Teenage Sex-Party and its aftermath. Who were the ringleaders of the smear campaign against Scarlet, and why was no one talking about appropriate penalties for them? Where were the parents of these underage thugs? How many of them will grow up to become sexual bullies at work? Will any of them become police officers who use their power to abuse or even kill innocent civilians?

Something is definitely rotten in Denmark, so to speak. And it’s not a loss of sexual purity among young women.

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