Everybody’s curious about anal sex. How does it feel? Can you really get off through the back door? Do books and movies honestly portray the pleasure (or displeasure) of anal sex? We’re interested in what you think. Tell us what you think about anal sex, and about your anal sex experiences.
From Lise
I was glad to see some of the commenters discussing their anal exploration and enjoyment of same. And totally understand that some folks just don’t enjoy it, can’t get past the taboo factor or simply aren’t interested (there’s lots of different sex acts that don’t interest me). However, I adore anal sex, orgasm routinely just from anal penetration, and there are many women who do (read Surrender by author Toni Blakely for a very thorough story of one woman’s obsession with anal). Whether (as some have said) it is partly the taboo nature that is appealing, I do enjoy a bit of pain play, and the act itself (dildo or real live cock) sends me to heaven.
I’m also a fan of double penetration – another act that you see a lot in porn. Just because it is in porn, doesn’t mean it can’t be really hot. It saddens me to think some women are coerced into accepting anal sex when they really hate it. On the other hand, just because some women really do love it like I do, doesn’t mean we don’t know our own minds about sex. Besides, I’m all about ass play, including spanking and paddling, so clearly the fixation is broader. And as some folks mentioned, too, if you are interested in the practice, but turned off by – as someone said – the poo factor – definitely clean out with an enema a few hours beforehand. If you can just embrace it, that, too, can be a kinky bit of fun. But as many advised: Go slow, lube lots, and work your way up to a cock with smaller dildos and butt plugs to prepare the way.
From Anonymous
I’ve read with great interest all of the posts on this subject. My own experience was limited to three women. Two of these were wives while the third was a live-in girlfriend. My first wife enjoyed anal sex perhaps three or four times per year. My second wife hated it. The first time we did it she almost immediately stopped it proclaiming how much pain it caused. The other woman actually preferred anal to vaginal sex. She experienced orgasm after orgasm that way. Personally, I found it enjoyable.
Now having said that, I’d like to mention that I am a practicing physician specializing in OB/Gyn. My most honest reaction professionally is that I truly do not believe that even five percent of women actually like anal sex. There is a good, sound reason for that as well. While men, whether or not they admit it, love to be stimulated anally, women do not and find it mostly just uncomfortable. This is due to men having the prostate gland very stimulated whenever penetrated rectally. Women have no such gland and there is no automatic turn-on for them through the anus.
However, I’d suggest that clitoral stimulation during anal penetration does often prove arousing and may make a huge difference between a painful or a very pleasurable sexual experience.
From Mari
Three cheers, Emma, for taking a stand that apparently isn’t popular on this forum. I’d like to add that anal sex is the hot deal in porn, and most things showcased in porn is what some easily influenced men ‘should think’ they want, and what women most often don’t.
From Emma
Women do not choose anal sex of their own volition but by partner coercion. A woman doesn’t normally have a prostate, our bodies are not made to enjoy anal sex. The anus actually tears, unlike the vagina which stretches and endures. However, an abused women can be made to enjoy anything. The self destructive behavior of low self-esteem can make a woman do anything for the adoration for a man
From Sue
I find anal sex enjoyable as an occasional thing. I hate, absolutely hate ramming hard fucking type anal sex. Ramming a dick or a dildo up the ass is a really hurts, it’s dangerous (delicate tissue up there, folks, be careful), and hardly sexy. Be nice to your butt, treat it with sensual delight and it will reward you with years of good service.
From Jim
My girlfriend asked me to perform anal sex on her. She said she was a virgin “back there” and wanted to lose that virginity with me. I was excited about the concept! I studied up on this practice and was ready the night she exposed her backside to me (doggie style)… asking me to take her anal virginity. I lubed her up and obliged. As soon as the head of my penis entered her anus, she shot off holding her buttcheeks with both hands and started crying talking about how bad I had hurt her. Of course, it left me feeling like a pile of you know what.
I thought the chances of my having anal sex with her were over, but, a few days later, she wanted to try again. This time, I relaxed her by performing oral sex on her and by lubing her anus and rubbing it with my lubed fingers. I then lubed my penis and her anus again. I had her lay on her stomach and we put a pillow under her hips. She parted her legs for me and I positioned myself. Entry was deliberately slow and gentle. Once I was in her anus up to my balls, I asked if she wanted me to start stroking. She said “yes” and held onto my hands as I did so. Needless to say, she started moving and meeting with my strokes. This time, it was much more pleasant for her and for me. I was able to finish in her and she said it was enjoyable for her and that she couldn’t wait to experience this with me again.
Men … take your time … use LOTS of lube on her anus and on your penis … be slow, deliberate, and gentle. She will tell you what to do from there … ASK!
From Sally
In response to Jack [see entry below], anal sex is not for me either. We tried it several times just to see what the hoopla is about, and frankly neither of us enjoyed it. My husband, he truly does enjoy a backside view, he’s an ass man all the way. But like Jack, he has absolutely no fascination with butt-holes and all I can say is thank goodness.
From Jack
Nope, anal sex is not for me. Maybe I’m “anally” retentive, but I’m just not attracted to the opening of the anus, not one bit! I love a girl’s ass, I love to take a woman from behind, doggie-style or standing up, but I have absolutely no fascination for the butt-hole, or putting my fingers there, licking it, or anything, and I don’t want anybody fiddling in the area of my butt hole either!
I’m quite surprised about how many people are into anal sex. I’m curious to know about what the percentages are. Looking at this forum you’d think it was about 90% of people practicing anal sex, but I guess the non-anal sex lovers just stay quiet.
From Sessywench
It took me a long time to agree to having anal sex with my husband. I was really turned off by the poo factor and how him with his queasy stomach would react in such an intimate moment, so no, just no, would not go there. But he’s a resourceful chap and one day came home with an enema kit. Had me assume the position and that was the start of a whole new chapter. I get incredibly horny submitting to the enema, fingering as the hot water seeps into my ass. An orgasm from anal sex for me is much more intense than any other, it’s especially superb when it is simultaneous, clit and anal orgasm at the same time….now that’s a religious experience.
From Sue
For most us ladies cum leaks as a result of anal sex, regardless of a simple tissue wipe. And panties doesn’t stop the leak, they simply catch it before it rolls down the thighs. It’s the same thing as cum in the vagina; it simply leaks out. So it goes for anal sex. Unless he’s using a condom, when a man ejaculates in whatever orifice, be it vagina, mouth or ass, he leaves a little juicy something behind. Where do you think it’s going to go? Either it’s swallowed, spit, or oozes out. Just more proof that sex is wet, sloppy, and fun.
From Nancy
I tried anal sex several times, my husband and I learning the recommended way to go about it without pain, only pleasure. Well, no pleasure here, didn’t feel sexy, no orgasm, just a mild dislike. To be honest, my thoughts on the matter is, come on already, you guys can fuck a vagina, a mouth, between lush breasts, and let’s not forget hand-jobs. And now you want to fuck ass? I think anal sex proves the saying ‘if there’s a hole, fuck it’.
From Sue
What are you thinking! (I sure hope you’re not getting your info from adult movies or internet porn) Good grief, Maya, most people do use condoms during anal sex. Especially people not in monogamous relationships. Think about AIDS, and STDs. [see Maya’s entry below]. Another good reason to use condoms during anal sex is that they prevent the god awful ‘leaking’ afterward. Think sperm dripping out of your ass as you go about your day. Yuck.
People who don’t use condoms either have no problems with the messiness of, or if they want to avoid any possible mess, they use an Anal Douche (also called an enema) before anal sex.
From Maya
Ok, this may seem as a stupid question but I really want to ask this. Most people do not use condoms during anal sex. So, what do you do to clean your anus so that a penis, once it is out of the hole, doesn’t get all messy. What do you use for cleaning and how do you reach deep inside because I can clean as deep as my fingers length which is, of course, shorter than the penis.
From Anonymous
I’ve had anal sex three times and could never get used to it. I wasn’t very fond of doing it that way in the first place but did it for my husband anyway. I thought it felt as if I was going to the bathroom in reverse. It was horrible all three times.
From Greg
Anonymous – yes, of course it is a health hazard! Don’t try it unless you want to get some pretty nasty illnesses. Whether your partner is your wife, girl or guy friend, the ass is where the waste leaves the body and it’s toxic! Fingering and fisting are both great but be ever careful. Fucking ass is much better and if you know your partner then go bare backed but if you don’t always consider using a rubber.
From Anonymous
I’m curious as to the appeal of “ass to mouth” in porn films – ‘to each his own’ and all that, but, besides the “ick” factor, isn’t it a health hazard?
From Debbie
One night my husband was giving me oral sex and I was really turned on with his technique that night. His fingers had been in my pussy and he pulled them out and then used his tongue. He moved one finger to my anus and it felt so nice. He lightly pushed and applied pressure. I wanted him to go inside me it felt so nice, but it was not sliding in very easy. I suggested some lube and he took the hint and got some lube on his finger. He then returned and slowly inserted his finger in my ass. It was a totally different feeling and it felt nice. After a little bit of anal play, I just needed to have his cock in me to finish me. As I think about anal play, I have no desire for it. But when I get turned on and he gets down there, I sometimes desire it.
A few weeks later, we did a joint anal finger session which was very hot. One of these times I think I would like to feel his cock at my ass and see how it feels to be penetrated with a big cock in my ass. Just haven’t come across the right time yet.
From Lynn
Yes, anal penetration from a hard penis is less painful than a plastic dildo in the initial penetration. [see Mikeyd’s entry below] The soft skin feels better, but the main difference is the actually hardness: a penis is never as hard or inflexable as a plastic dildo. Get yourself a silicone plug or dildo, that will be similar to the real thing.
Anal sex should never be painful, even initially. A bit of stretch and fullness is good, and sexy as hell, but pain means something is wrong — not enough lube or not enough foreplay so your anus is relaxed and ready. Be careful! Play safe.
From Mikeyd
This is more of a question than a previous experience. I have always loved sliding things into myself anally. Most of the time they were small like my fingers but now I long to have a hard penis inside me so I have been practicing with a plug and a dildo that are about the normal size of a penis. I have been able to take both to the max and enjoy them very much after they are inside me.
My question is this. Is penetration from a hard penis less painful in the initial penetration? My thought would be yes because of the soft skin verses the hard plastic of a dildo. I would really like to know what the comparison is so I know what to expect when the day come that I finally get to have the real thing. Hopefully very soon!
From Joan
I really really hate anal sex. It’s uncomfortable at best, and often hurts. True there’s a bundle of sensitive nerve endings right around the anus, and it does feel good to have the area caressed, and shallow penetration with a finger is good, sexy. But a whole damn penis jamming in and out – no no no! Feels lousy.
I can understand guys getting off on anal sex because of prostate stimulation (called P-Spot), but for women? Nay. Come on guys, hands, mouths and pussys are not enough, you gotta fuck ass also?