My girlfriend and I just got a strap-on harness and dildo, and yes, she uses it on me (I’m a guy). I don’t have any desire to be with a man, trust me I’ve worked this through, but that’s not precisely what I’m commenting on. We bought a really good strap-on and though we don’t use it every night we do take it out for special occasions — when extra-kink is what the doctor orders.
I’m wondering are there other couples out there who like using strap-ons and dildos? I’d like to hear other perspectives on this and any advice other’s might have: Like what’s the thrill for them, does dildo size matter? And what contexts, or roll-plays might others be into? Thanks … and God bless the ERWA folks for providing this forum! —Festus
From Anonymous
I have been interested in being anally penetrated for many years and occasionally experimented with it a little. Recently, I read about prostate massage and decided to get my wife (of 36 years) to use a small prostrate massage vibrator in my ass. The initial results were pleasant but not outstanding. I’m not sure that I can climax from prostrate massage. But last night I persuaded her to fuck my ass using a 6.5 inch vibrating dildo I purchased. She lubed me up very thoroughly and introduced the dildo. Wow! I realized very quickly that I wanted the dildo pushed in as far as it could go and that I like her to rotate and thrust with it. Also, I realized that I liked it with the vibration both on and off.
I was loving it so much that I didn’t want her to stop. She was afraid of causing me injury so she stopped and withdrew the dildo. I then persuaded her to insert our largest butt plug in my anus and I masturbated to orgasm. After all that prostrate massage (I suppose), my climax was spectacular. I will be having her peg me soon and am expecting to enjoy it immensely. BTW, I am 68 years old.
From Anonymous
Believe me once you start getting pegged, There is no turning back, My wife has been pegging me for over 25 years. I am addicted to it. AND NEED IT. I dress in lingerie, and she Dominates me, We have changed places. She’s the male, and I am HER Female. We both have never been happier.
From Brad
Emma. About 95% of sex toys are geared toward pleasing women. I think you get let guys have this one. [see Emma’s entry below]
From Emma
What possible pleasure is there for women in this? Making women perform sexually as men, who have prostates and therefore get pleasure from this, when women have no sensation in their belted-on equipment. This faux fad is yet another example of how much effort is expended in making women invisible.
Emma, my gf has a very strong character and loves dominating me. She uses a variety of butt plugs in my anus, has me sit so the plug penetrates deeply, then rides my cock. She is convinced that the stimulation from the plugs give me harder erections and longer duration.
But that is not the main pleasure. What really turns her on is to summon me to her place, naturally with my biggest plug in, telling me to be ready for a serious pegging. She invariably greets me already wearing her largest strapon dildo, a 12” realistic, thick, cock-shaped brute.
Bent over the kitchen table, pants around my ankles, thong pulled to one side, I open myself to her, asking Mistress to take it easy in her slut. She plays with herself as she plunged in and out of my ass, often also playing with my balls snd cock. Her ultimate aim wss for us to have simultaneous orgasms, her from masturbating herself, and me from her stroking my cock and also in my ass. We have achieved this goal, and I can assure you that the pleasure is definitely not all mine.
From Tom
My wife and I had tried it, but the strap-on she had gotten was much too big for me. Also, I had a lot of gastro- intestinal pain (bloating, gas, and a feeling like I had to shit all the time but could not) for a couple of days. We would like to try again, but would like to get some more info from folks who have a little more experience.
From Dan
You guys seem very lucky. I live in Torrance CA and have had two girl friends leave me for asking. I wish I could find a women that wants to strap on a strap-on.
From Hesitant
Like most guys in this forum the sight of a woman wearing a strap on is a big turn on for me. I could come just watching my wife stand in the bedroom wearing one. We have two but they are just gathering dust in our “toy box”. We tried years ago but I just couldn’t relax.Here are my questions: #1 how can I relax? #2 besides an enema, how can I clean myself out, the few times we tried I felt really full and she pulled out immediately. #3 can you hurt anything physically?I’d really like to get this thing going. I’m jealous of the others on this site that have no problem with this type of sex. Any help would be appreciated!
From Sarah
My husband was keen about trying strap-on sex, and so we purchased the equipment and gave it a go. He loved it, me not so much. Now all he wants is anal sex, be it strap-on, butt plugs, even wants a rim-job (no, no and no, I’m not about to lick his asshole). I tried using a double headed dildo, and/or a vibrator, otherwise there’s just nothing in it for me.
He’s obsessed, and yeah he does indulge me in ‘other than anal sex’, but it’s obvious he’s not into it and is just going through the motions. Strap-ons? I’m sorry we ever tried it.
From Louis Vega
I bought a harness and dildo once before, but my wife did not catch the hint. I used it on her and she seemed to enjoy it. Recently she has started playing with my anus and she knows I like it. She has offered to do it again and would like her to penetrate. I don’t know if she will penetrate, but wonder if we continue to progress if she would try it. Any ideas how to suggest that she give it a try?
From Anonymous
My wife and I have tried a strap-ons. Usually it is awkward, but a double headed dildo worked fairly well. One end was smaller than the other and fit perfectly. It reminded me of two women going at it. It is fun to be submissive once in a while. the best way is one of her dildos of vibrators while stroking myself. She will lick my nipples and drive me sooo crazy I want her to fuck me. I’ll let it last as long as I can, then shoot all over myself and her. Wow! It is a little selfish so be sure to return the favor.
From Rich
I went on my own and purchased an ultra harness and my wife had no objections about using it. At first I felt like she would get upset when I wanted that instead of regular sex. But she always said she got off doing it. The first one I bought eventually broke. Not the dildo part but the harness part. She had always said that she wished she had one that would go inside her too. So we went and bought a double dildo that fits into a harness that had that feature. She loves it although I still have to ask her to do it or throw hints at her because she has never once done it without that. The most exciting part of it for me is after I know she is gonna do it. For once though I would like her to just have it on totally without me expecting it. It’s definitely not for every man but it is great.
From Ian
Me and my wife tried it about 3 years ago, it was her idea, I was a little hesitant at first, we started out with a small strap-on slim 5inch, I was surprised how good if felt, now we do about 1-2 a month with a strap-on we have 4 different one, and sometimes we use a double ended 15inch dildo, one end in my ass and the other in hers. We are both glad we tried it.
From Anonymous
I bought a harness and dildo about 10 years ago. I wanted her to fuck me so bad, but I was afraid to say anything to her. I used it on my wife, she never got the idea of using it on me. When I see women wearing a harness and dildo it drives me nuts. Well last night — we were taking a shower together and I asked her if she would PLEASE use a harness and dildo on me. She has big tittys — and I would love to see it on her. I want her to fuck me so bad, She told me she would let me know — I orderd a new dido and leather harness. If I laid on my back with my legs high in the air and her in between my legs with her dido in my ass watching her tittys bounce as she was fucking me, I would be in heaven. I hope she says yes. I want be submissive to her. Let her take total control of my ass.
From Fabienne
I have only recently been introduced to the world of Sapphic Love, but I am enjoying it. Not long ago, while enjoying an afternoon of oral love making, I casually commented that a nice hard dick would be good right about now. Sort of like a brandy after a good meal. Without saying a word, my partner left the room. She returned a few moments later sporting a strap-on. Now I have heard of these and even seen them in catalogs, but this was my first encounter with one. It had no bulky harness. It was more like an old-fashion girdle, with the dildo poking through from the inside.
The “penis” was very flexible. Not at all like the hard, rigid ones I’d seen in movies. I laid back and closed my eyes as she opened my legs and rubbed the head between my pussy lips, not unlike a man would to spread the moisture. As she eased into me, the feeling was identical to the real thing. Only when she pressed her soft, feminine body against mine did I know it wasn’t a man. I was in heaven! Being filled with a cock and feeling the soft, yielding body of another woman. I may never go back to men again.
From J
My wife and I found a great new toy, it’s better than a strap-on. It’s called the Feeldoe [double headed dildo] and it doesn’t require a harness, it’s shaped like a penis on one end and has a bulb on the other, the female inserts the bulb end in her vagina and she can fuck, harness and hands free. It also has a little vibrator bullet. I love it when my wife fucks my ass with it.
From Anonymous
My wife and I recently decided to give anal sex a try. We got a strap-on and I gave her good head, but it was just to big for my ass. Not so much as length but the girth. I was smarting for a few days and we’re both hesitant about trying it again.
From Dina
I am extremely curious and interested in exploring this ‘avenue’ with my currant partner. However, I am completely at a loss about how to go about it — how you could suggest it? what type of anal play beforehand? etc. As I have never, ever been the dominant one when we have anal sex, and have absolutely no idea what to do at all. I would really like to hear some feedback from women who have had anal sex with their partner, and, hopefully, maybe some hints for a first timer.
From Tony
My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now, and we’re to be married in a little over a month. Recently in the bedroom she has been using her fingers to penetrate me, and it feels so very good. I lay on my back and sometimes I grab her hand and force her fingers deeper into me. I love it! She says she loves doing it and when she gets into it she talks dirty and makes me come even harder!I have had a recent desire to have her use a toy on me, I’d really love her to use a strap-on but I’m also a believer in small steps. I have no idea on how to approach her with this. I’m comfortable talking with her about everything but this, it’s frustrating. I think I’m just going to have to blurt it out one day.
From D. L. King
I’m quite a fan of anal sex, both giving and receiving. Here are a few tips for those looking for ways to make it work well for them: First, and I can’t stress this enough, use LOTS of lube. Lube is your friend. If you think you have enough lube both inside your partner and on your cock, use some more. I’m just saying.
Second, Because a silicone, glass, metal or plastic cock doesn’t have any nerve endings, you can’t feel it if your hitting the right spot or the wrong spot. You have to rely on communication with your partner to know how he or she is feeling. Actually, I think the best way to know how they’re feeling is to be penetrated, yourself. If you don’t know what anal sex feels like, it can be very difficult to understand what your partner’s feeling, how slow you need to go, what various movements feel like, etc.
Third, being able to use a strap on, right out of the box, the first time you try anal sex (and have it be a pleasurable experience he or she wants to revisit) is a fairly unreasonable expectation. Anal sex takes time and practice. It takes a lot of exploration with a finger, then fingers (Remember the lube? Lots of lube?) to make your partner comfortable and able to accept something the size of a cock (yes, even a very small cock) into his or her ass. You might spend several sessions just using your fingers, or even a butt plug, before you try your strap on.
Fourth, go slow. Really. Go very slowly. Inch your way inside, making sure your partner is comfortable with each extra bit of length penetrating him or her, until you’re all the way in. Use your hand around the base of your cock while you’re guiding it inside, to make sure you have control. If he says stop, stop. Let him get acclimated to the girth of the dildo before continuing. Keep adding lube. Put a towel under your partner so the lube doesn’t drip all over your bed (or floor or kitchen table). And once your in, balls-deep, wait a beat before starting to move. Make sure your partner’s comfortable.
Fifth, start moving slowly. Don’t try fucking like a machine as soon as you penetrate your partner. Slowly build up speed. If you’ve used enough lube and gone slowly enough and listened and communicated well, once you get to this point, you’ll be able to fuck like a champion. The secret is that it takes time and patience. If you don’t take that time and patience, you might never get the chance to try again.
D. L. King is a pro. I’m definitely going to take the time and apply each step. I’m in it to win it 🙂
Thanks for the input.