Dear Special K,

This is the second time I am writing to you on this subject. You must be afraid of getting in touch with me back!

Among other things, (mostly bad) I’m taking this time to say that I have been enjoying your Special K “Protein” cereal for ten years. Or so. My wife and I found that with a little fruit and almond milk, it is quite a tasty and sustaining breakfast with a dash of cinnamon. Too many products nowadays don’t have that kind of consistency yet.

Too bad you can’t say the same for your packaging.

Used to be, years ago, back then, that you always used to show a photo of a very pretty girl on the back (of the package. Not hers) always. Sometimes she was a blonde (my fave) but more often other-haired. And that was okay. Whatever haired she was, she was usually shown in scant “action” attire such as tank tops, halters and clingy workout tights that showed off the girl’s rear end. (usually round, and probably firm) That went along just fine for a few years when there was virtually nothing to complain about! Like what I said about the tastiness!

The used boxes could last for a while, if a guy takes care of them. That was a deal.  Remember that one redhead with the white hairband who was looking back over her shoulder? Now that’s what I’m talking about.  Yeah. She was really something. Luckily I cut one out of her! She lasted until a few months ago when it wore out. But that was back then!

And this was now!

Then you started showing just half a girl. But always from the waist up. Never the bottom half! What was with that? What’s going on over there?  Used to be, there were plenty of back sides, on your packages.

Apparently not any more!

The reason I’m reporting that, was, because, eventually; then; sometimes you started showing bare chested men athletics running in short shorts on the box! (I’m okay where you would also want to give the woman eaters (of your cereal) something hot to look at). But were all the lady models intimidated?   Did somebody scare off all those young girls with fantastic back sides? Do you do background checks on your sub-contractors?  I’ll bet the worst of them probably look for subs to contract for their own use.

And, now, finally, the last straw (for me at least) is that recently, from what I saw this morning, although you have upped the ante in one regard, giving us consumers two girls on the package (top half of one on the back and a cute little number down in front) they’re really little pictures and you have to get in real close to see much at all. Okay, so the one wearing floppy shorts on the front is crouching down tying her shoelace, and you can see where the fabric clings tight between her legs. But somehow that’s simply not going to be enough to make a guy want to do anything about it.

So.

Now I want to know what you are planning to do about these next several following and various important depart mental issues; I have been kind enough to point out:

… Put butt-men back on your staff. Again. Like before.

… Examine your human resources system for hiring photographers.

… Ask those models (just the girls) with great butts whatever made them leave.

…Finally, get better pictures. Ones with whole girls, in varying positions. Like bent over. (Make them even larger even than when you had them before) (Or maybe just half-a-woman from the waist down) (For a change.) (But still make it BIG!)

Maybe you could even make a cool promotional deal with that kinda thing.

Like a … “Collect All the Girls on the Cereal Boxes —The Challenge”!

That could work.

You wouldn’t even have to pay me much for the idea.

Thank you,
Daddy X

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