Ernie’s hands were a bit shaky on the steering wheel as he turned his classic Dodge Swinger into the parking lot of the Burks Falls Bowlerama.
“Don’t lose your grip now, Ern.” Geeeze,” he chastised himself. Damn, he hadn’t been this nervous since he’d asked Lizzie Burns to the senior prom in ’57.
Ernie started wishing he’d worn his sport jacket. At least he could have hidden the perspiration stains that he just knew were getting bigger underneath his arms. He was so desperate to make a good impression on Lillian. He didn’t want her thinking he was some kind of slob.
He pulled into the parking spot farthest away from the bowling alley. No one would park here, he figured, and ruin the new paint job on his car. Plus, he could scan the lot and watch for Lillian easily at this vantage point. He knew what he was looking for. In fact, he’d recognize her so easily he figured he could pick her out of a crowd blindfolded. Lillian had sent him a picture when she had replied to the personal ad he had placed in the local paper, the Burks Falls Standard.
Single, active, retired male, 62, seeks lady 50-65 for companionship and possible relationship. Loves kids and pets, bowling, ballroom dancing and playing cards. If you are an easy-going lady who likes to laugh, I’m your man. Enclose photo if possible. Reply to Box 247
When Ernie opened the envelope her photo fell to the floor. He picked it up and there looking up at him were the most beautiful brown eyes he’d ever seen. He stared at them and smiled, and she seemed to smile right back at him. His eyes then dropped and he whistled a kind of catcall as he checked out the nicest set of boobs he’d seen on a woman in years.
He was a self-proclaimed boob man and here was a lady with a pair that just sent the blood coursing through his veins. Her tits were plump and just the right size for him, from what he could tell. He liked his women a little on the heavy side anyway. More to hold onto, more to love, he always said. He imagined her naked and standing in front of him in that very moment. Her brunette hair fell in waves to her shoulders, her smile shone through him. He felt a bit sheepish thinking about what she looked like naked, but he just couldn’t help himself. He saw her tongue running over those ruby red lips of hers and her glorious naked breasts lolling there in front of him, her nipples standing proud, so ready.
“Geeze, Ern … snap out of it. You don’t even know this woman,” he said aloud. He couldn’t help but giggle then, as he felt himself blushing and realized his cock was more than just a little aroused. Ernie just shook his head in wonder. He honestly couldn’t believe a woman who looked this hot would be replying to a personal ad in the local paper.
His fingers shook a little as he opened up her letter. It was handwritten in a most artistic script, on plain white paper with her name and address in simple block letters at the top of the page, Lillian Thomas.
He just stared at her name for what seemed like forever. ‘Even her name is pretty,’ he thought.
The letter began:
Dear Sir, I read your personal advertisement in the Burks Falls Standard just today.
It seems that we may have quite a lot in common. I enjoy bowling and playing cards, much like you. Bridge is my game, but I don’t mind a round of euchre every now and then. I love to dance, but I’m afraid I don’t know any ballroom dances. Maybe you would like to teach me? I am a very apt pupil, I assure you. I’m certain there are many other activities that we might enjoy together as well.
I’m 56 and I’ve been a widow for two years now, and although I do miss my husband dearly, I feel I am ready for a new relationship. I hope you like my picture and the little bit I have told you here. I don’t want to carry on at too great a length on paper. We can talk on the phone if you like, and get to know each other a little bit that way. Feel free to call me anytime, even late at night. My number is in the book.
Sincerely, Lillian
‘Well, damn it to hell. If I didn’t strike gold on the first try. She’s a looker all right, but she bowls too? Unbelievable freakin’ luck,’ Ernie thought. “I must have horse shoes up my ass today,” he chuckled.
It was already 10:30 p.m., but he couldn’t wait to call her. The pages of the phone book seemed like they were stuck together with glue, but finally he managed to find Lillian’s number. As he punched in the numbers he muttered to himself, “Don’t fuck this up, Ernie old boy.”
“Hello, Lillian?”
“Yes, this is Lillian. Who is this?”
“Well ma’am, the name’s Ernie. Ernie Dickerson. You replied to my personal ad I had in the paper last week.”
“I just sent that letter off on a whim—never expected a reply. I’m very happy you called me, Ernie.”
“Lillian, I think you’re a beautiful woman. A guy would have to be nuts not to want to go out with you. Would you like to go out with me tomorrow night, Lil? Oh, geeze, there I go already, just jumping right on top of you, and I called you Lil, too. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. I love that name. You can call me Lil, Ernie. And I’d love to go out with you. Yes.”
“I hope I don’t scare you off in the first two minutes, Lil. I’m no Cary Grant. I’m just plain old Ernie Dickerson. That suit you, Lil?” “I’m fine with plain Ernie. I have no problem with plain. Would you like to go bowling?”
“Lil, you’re a woman after my heart. You look like a million bucks and you bowl too, go figure. Yes, I’d love to go bowling. What say I meet you at the Bowlerama tomorrow night at 7? I’d sure like to pick you up, but I can understand how you might not be comfortable with that, so how about I meet you there?”
“Sounds perfect, Ernie.”
Yeah, it sounded perfect all right. And here it was, tomorrow night already, and Ernie was sitting on pins and needles in the parking lot of the Bowlerama waiting for his date. He pulled down the rearview mirror and checked his hair. If Ernie liked only one thing about himself, it had to be his hair.
He had thick, luxurious, sandy blonde hair. Oh sure, he had some gray, but it was in all the right places, he figured. He was pretty sure Lil would like his hair. He smiled as he imagined her fingers stroking his hair.
It had been a long time since he’d been with a woman. It was four years since his wife had left him and he’d had only half a dozen dates in all that time.
It had taken him a couple years to get over the shock of his wife leaving before he could get into the swing of even thinking about dating again. This personal ad was something new he thought he’d try. He saw some old geezer on Oprah that did the same thing and ended up happily ever after. He sat there and wondered about Lil, and if she would be his happily ever after.
His reverie was broken by the sound of crunching gravel at the far end of the parking lot. It had to be her. He snapped to attention, opened the door and got out. He stood there unable to move for a second, nearly frozen to the spot as he watched her emerge from the Blue & White cab. She was a vision of loveliness in a simple black skirt and a modestly low-cut, white, sleeveless blouse. Ernie got a nice view of her cleavage as she eased herself out of the back seat. Her shapely legs were tan and bare and she wore a low-heeled, strappy black sandal that spoke to him of class and taste. He wished again he had worn his sport jacket. ‘Aw, nuts, Polo shirt and Dockers will have to do. Just get a grip and go for it, Ern,’ he thought. He walked toward her and extended his hand when he came within a few feet of her.
Lillian smiled straight at him, took his hand in hers and said, “You can’t be Ernie Dickerson, because he said he wasn’t handsome and you, sir, are most definitely handsome. Have you seen Ernie around?” Ernie grinned and squeezed her hand lightly, “That’d be me, ma’am. I’m Ernie.”
Lillian chuckled softly as she pulled him towards her for a hug. Her breasts met him first and squished against his chest. He thought he was going to die, right then and there, a happy man. He could feel the firmness of her nipples as they rubbed him through the light fabric of her blouse. He felt his manhood rising and thanked God for the simple fact that he had chosen the navy pants over the khaki ones. At least Lil wouldn’t notice the wet spot that he felt seeping from the tip of his cock through to his trousers.
“So pleased to meet you, Ernie.”
“Same here, Lil. May I carry your ball for you?”
Lil grinned, “Uh, sure Ernie, you carry the balls.”
He giggled at her little joke and thought, ‘Man, I lucked out this time.’
She took his hand as they walked together into the bowling alley. Ernie felt his temperature rise once more as he squeezed her hand lightly and felt her squeeze his in return. Her hand, it was so soft, her fingers so pliant; he could imagine them stroking his balls, fingering his cock, tweaking his nipples.
‘Geeze, Ern, down boy,’ he once again had to remind himself.
“I don’t know if I’ll be able to concentrate on my game tonight, Lil. I’m not used to bowling with a beautiful woman.”
“Oh, you’re making me blush. Beautiful? You’re very sweet, Ernie. Why don’t we have a coffee at the snack bar. Have a little ‘get to know each other first’ then?”
“That’d be great. Everyone in the joint is going to be looking you up and down though. I hope you don’t mind that. A bunch of horny men staring at you isn’t exactly what I had in mind for our first date. Why don’t we go somewhere quiet, kinda classy, you know? That’s more your style, isn’t it, Lil?”
“Or we could just go back to my place. It isn’t far. I promise I won’t attack you. Well, at least not in the first five minutes,” she smiled. “Your place? Are you sure?” Ernie trembled.
She nodded a yes.
“You’re the woman of my dreams, Lil. That sounds perfect.”
He took her hand in his and they walked out the door of the bowling alley, through the parking lot and toward his car.
‘Life is good,’ thought Ernie. ‘Yep, life is good. Just don’t screw this up, you dumb jerk.’
Lillian fumbled with the key to her condo door. It just wouldn’t seem to go in all the way, no matter how hard she pushed. “Oh boy, I am more nervous than I thought,” she tittered.
“Here, sweetie, let me try.” Ernie took the key from Lillian’s hand. She felt the slightest of tingles go through her as his fingers brushed hers and she smiled.
‘This was one nice guy, this Ernie Dickerson, and he gives me the tingles, too. Not a bad combination,’ she chuckled inwardly.
The door opened. “VI-ola!” Ernie triumphed. Lillian giggled her thanks as she led Ernie into the entrance of her apartment. He whistled and said, “This sure is a nice place you got here, Lil. Thanks for inviting me over.”
It’s not something I do as a rule, you know, inviting men back to my apartment. There’s something about you, Ernie. I picked it up right from the second I read your ad in the Classifieds. It made me feel like I could trust you.”
She smiled directly into his eyes. He had the most beautiful clear, soft-blue eyes she’d ever seen. They had pulled her to him the instant she’d seen them.
Ernie blushed at her words. She could tell he was more than a little nervous, so she offered him a place to sit down in the living room, right away.
“Would you like something to drink, Ernie? I have a nice white wine, or would you prefer a beer?”
“I could go for a beer, Lil, but you won’t try and get me drunk and take advantage of me now, will you?” he winked.
“The thought never crossed my mind, Ernie.” She winked back at him and walked into the kitchen to get Ernie his beer.
She caught Ernie standing up, looking at some of the photos she had on the wall unit at the far end of the living room when she returned. She smiled and set the coaster, glass and bottle of beer on the coffee table, then joined him in front of her photo gallery.
“That’s my oldest daughter, Jackie. She’s 30. Married to the nicest guy. No grandkids yet.”
Ernie returned the picture he’d been looking at carefully to its shelf. “She’s really pretty, just like her Mom.”
“You’re the sweetest man, Ernie Dickerson.”
She put her hand in his, squeezed softly and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. As she leaned over to pick up another picture her left breast grazed his upper body and she used all her will to stifle the gasp that she felt rising in her throat.
“Uh—this one here is my youngest daughter. Her name is Samantha, but we all call her Sammy. She’s the wild one. She’s 26, still single, and don’t even ask me how many guys she’s been engaged to. I’ve lost track.”
“Well doggone it, Lil, she’s as cute as a bug’s ear. You sure have a couple of good-looking kids. I always wanted kids, but Mrs. D. never went for it. Said it would ruin her figure.”
She turned and caught the sad look in Ernie’s eyes and squeezed his hand a little tighter.
“This must be your husband.” He pointed at a picture of her and her husband, taken on the day of their daughter’s wedding. Ernie was quiet for a second, then said, “I’m sorry. I’m such a doofus, Lil. I didn’t mean to …”
“Ernie, stop. It’s fine. Come and sit down.”
She led him to the sofa and sat him down. She sat on the coffee table directly in front of him so she could look straight into his eyes. Ernie reached out for both her hands and she gave them to him. Lillian began to talk.
“Ernie, I had a wonderful husband once. His name was Jack. He died unexpectedly just over two years ago. Heart attack. I don’t have to tell you I was devastated. He was at work and just slumped over at his desk.
The girls and I were in shock for several days. Heck, more like weeks, I guess. It was almost a year before I could wake up and face the day without him. I knew Jack wouldn’t want me to go on mourning his loss for the rest of my days. He’d want me to be happy. He’d want me to smile. So I did.”
“I called up the girls and told them to come pick out the furniture they liked and anything else they wanted to keep that had belonged to their Dad. I kept a few things that were sentimental to me and called up Goodwill to come collect the rest, along with his clothes. It was the only way I could do it. I couldn’t be reminded of his presence every single second of the day if I was to move on. So I sold the house and moved in here. Bought new furniture, the whole nine yards. I’m not saying I don’t miss Jack. I still miss him every day. And my love for him is here.”
She took her hand, along with Ernie’s and placed it on her chest, over her heart.
“But I know he’d want me to go on, Ernie. To try to find a life again, with someone new. He wouldn’t want me to be alone.”
She saw the way Ernie looked at her just then. It was a tender look. A look that told her he wouldn’t hurt her. She had gotten the very same feeling when she had read his ad. He was a gentle, loving soul.
She leaned over to kiss him full on the lips. His mouth opened up along with hers and his tongue filled her mouth, softly and slowly. Her fingers twined around his. For what seemed like hours they kissed, locked in a deep and desperate passion for each other.
They both sat back, finally. Ernie began to speak, but Lillian leaned over and covered his mouth with her fingertips. Gracefully she dropped to the floor in front of him and spread his legs apart. She could feel the tremble in Ernie’s legs as much as she could feel the tremble in her own. Ernie tried to speak again, but once again was silenced. This time by the look she shot him gently from her deep brown eyes and the quiet “Shhhh …” she formed with her lips.
Her fingers moved of their own accord and undid his pants. They snaked inside his briefs and found his cock. She curled her fingers around the length of his shaft and stroked him. Ernie began to moan and his legs moved further apart to allow her greater access. She moved in tighter and her other hand cupped and squeezed his balls. She aimed his cock at her mouth and bent over him. She began licking and sucking, fairly devouring him in a fluttering flurry of pink, wet lips and tongue. All the while her fingers explored his balls and beneath them, massaging him there sweetly. In and out of her mouth she sucked him, listening to his moans and feeling the hot, not so subtle thrust of his cock against her lips.
“Oh, God, Lil! I’m going to come … ohhh, sweet Jeeesus! Oh … ohhh …”
Ernie came swiftly into her mouth. His hot white cream shot down her throat.
She held him tight for a few seconds, milking him. The last few drops puddled on her tongue. She then let his cock fall slowly into her hands and looked up at him. Ernie opened his eyes and unclenched his hands from the sofa cushions. The fingers of one hand moved to pet her, smoothing her brunette waves. With his other hand he reached for hers, their fingers meshed. She heard him whisper. “You’re the lady of my dreams, Lil.”
© 2001 by Wimzicle. Do not reproduce without permission of author.