The Skinny on Sex and Weight
I realize I may be getting into some politically incorrect territory here, but I’ve got a question. How does body image affect sex? Is fat a turn-on or a turn-off? If you’re obese, do you think it’s affected your sex life? If so, how? —Helen
Years ago women of my size were considered royalty. —Camryn Manheim
From Volponia
I consider myself about 50 pounds overweight, and think that qualifies as obese. My last lover must have had about 6 percent body fat. I was self-conscious about how we looked together (he was also 14 years younger than I), but our sex life was very satisfying to me, and, I assume, to him.
From Jordana Winters
As a person who very much values physical fitness (and this is just my opinion), I could never find obesity to be a turn on. There is just no way. There isn’t even an association between the two for me. I would say it’s actually a turn off. Big time.
Position logistics would be difficult I would think, but, I guess it depends on how obese we are talking. Again, the idea of two or one even overweight people rolling around in the bedroom is something I try not to think about.
From Teela
I am by no stretch of the imagination obese. But if I “feel fat” it really gets in the way of enjoyment. I want to avoid certain positions, wear concealing lingerie. My husband doesn’t seem to care at all – it’s strictly my own bit of lunacy. He’s no string bean and it doesn’t bother me at all. I still want him plenty. He’s not obese, but he’s definitely spread some over the years. I can’t seem to allow myself the same latitude.
Why are we so much harder on ourselves?
From Tre
Well, considering I’m a health nut to a point, I don’t have a problem when it comes to obesity. I’ve pretty much dated women that have a few pounds on them. What annoys me is that they all have constantly asked why I’d want to be with them, since I work out. Truly, it comes down this, and this might sound so cheesy… It’s the mind. I love a woman with the 50’s curves, and a mind right now. They can believe it or not.
Hell, I just love women!
From Phlye
There have been a number of BBW’s in my life. There’s a certain je ne sais crois about being enveloped in more woman than one man can handle that’s… well, it makes me feel all warm and cozy just thinking about it!
Always was a fan of big mammaries, and, when combined with a booty you need a roadmap for so you don’t lose your way… whoa.
One more thought. With few exceptions, every submissive woman I’ve encountered has been of the BBW persuasion. Coincidence or just good fortune?
From Tess
In terms of the act of sex itself, I’ve never had an issue. At my top weight, I was afraid I might hurt my husband when I got on top of him. But, he assured me it was not a problem at all. The obese men I have been with did present some challenges as they had fat around their pubis that “shortened” their cock. And, of course, they were out of shape and I had to do most of the physical work. Even then, I did not consider it a problem; I just approached the situation with some creativity and firm resolve to find a solution.
I will add that there are many more men than one might think who are attracted to BBW (Big Beautiful Women). Some of these men have true fat fetishes, but many of them just appreciate a woman who is comfortable with her body, no matter her size. The perception of men whom are attracted to BBW as “losers” – unattractive, desperate, or any other negative image – is blatantly incorrect. Men who are attracted to BBW are as diverse and varied as the general population. There is no stereotype for BBW admirers – just as there is no stereotype for a BBW.
I think that the dom/sub ratio among BBW is pretty equal. Some men prefer a BBW Dominatrix as her size contributes to her power and dominance. There is a strong contingency of men (and woman) who enjoy smothering, trampling, face sitting, and Giantess fantasies of being dominated and/or humiliated by a woman much larger than them. There are some aspects of D/s relationships that employ humiliation of a BBW – Piggy girls and “cows”. There is also a population of feeders and feedees that center their sex on food and weight gain. I can not embrace these extreme fetishes; they are just not my cuppa tea.
From The Butterfly Temptress
I am considered “obese” by today’s standards. The problem came when I fell in love for the first time in my life with a man who is naturally predisposed to physical perfection. My Knight is well built and can eat like a horse without any trace of heaviness or obesity. Why would someone like that want to be with someone like me? It’s a head trip of the worst kind.
Sex used to not be a problem. Now, however, because the Knight is smaller than I am, I shy away from certain things. I love riding him, but I’m afraid of crushing him, so I don’t. I love oral sex, but I’m afraid he is turned off by having his mouth on my plump cunt lips, between my chubby thighs, so I frequently turn down or refuse it. I am not morbidly obese, so I know it is in my head but it doesn’t change anything. I worry about those things now. I didn’t before.
From Amanda Earl
I’m 5’1 and 160 lbs. Sometimes I have to buy clothes in plus sizes and sometimes not. My husband is 6’1 and 280, definitely a big bear.
I love everything about my husband’s size; it’s a part of his personality and beauty. Physically I’d rather make love to men with meat on their bones than really skinny guys because I feel like I have to watch my movements or else I might crush them. They just feel more fragile to me and I don’t enjoy being jabbed by a boney hip.
From Oxartes
Beautiful women come in all sizes, shapes & colours. Neither my wife nor I will be modeling swimsuits of any kind but that’s not the point. I’m not puppy-eyed in love my wife because I find her sexy, arousing & attractive; I find her sexy, arousing & attractive because I’m puppy-eyed in love with her. My wife was never overweight before we met (she blames my cooking; she says I feed her too well) but she was never wafer thin either. That is singularly unattractive. What guy wants to cuddle up to a stickwoman?! Not me; yecch! I adore my wife’s thighs and her unflat tummy… Mmmm!
Quoth Freddy Mercury: “Fat-bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round.”
From Cervo
The object of my fantasies is always someone I like and who enjoys my sexual attentions whether in the form of flirting or some more direct ‘contact.’ I can truthfully say this has included all sorts of ladies of all sorts of sizes and shapes though rarely, if ever, very small and thin. I am an enthusiast and such people strike me as easily damaged by being held firmly in one’s arms. That may be simple prejudice. Who knows?
Fat is in one’s mind. The usual person’s notion of a fat bottom is not in the least to me. Girl’s come in curves. I like girls a lot. I like curves a lot too, but first of all I like girls.
What I do not care for sexually are people who look unhealthy. One can be quite large, round, and roly-poly or very small and round and be quite delicious. Truly delicious. But when people are obese in such a way that they are sallow and shapeless, then you know they are killing themselves a pizza at a time and that is not erotic at all.
Size has nothing to do with muscle tone and fitness either. I will never understand the objection to an ample girl, nicely dressed and looking radiant, who is toned and fit. Nothing says that thin is a standard in this regard except our national obsessions with various health fads.
I firmly contend that size and roundness of form are appealing in an appealing person. What kills the interest is sloth. Inertia is as romantic as a broken fire plug.