Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: Thinking Outside Your Box

(a hearty thanks goes out to the wonderful K.D. Grace, on whose blog this piece first appeared)

Thinking Outside Your Box…
Or Writing Isn’t Always About Writing

Sure, we may all want to just cuddle in our little garrets, a purring pile of fur in
our laps, leather patches on our sleeves, a pipe at the ready, and do nothing
but write masterpieces all day and night – with periodic breaks for
binge-drinking and soon-to-be legendary sexual escapades – but the fact of the
matter is that being a writer has totally, completely, changed.

I’m not just talking about the need to be a marketing genius and a publicity
guru – spending, it feels too often, more time tweeting about Facebook, or
Facebooking about tweeting, than actually writing – but that authors really
need to be creative when it comes to not just getting the word out about their
work but actually making money.

A lot of people who claim to be marketing geniuses and publicity gurus will say
that talking about you and your work as loud as possible, as often as possible,
is the trick … but have you heard the joke about how to make money with
marketing and PR? Punchline: get people to pay you to be a marketing genius
and/or a publicity guru. In short: just screaming at the top of the tweety lungs
or burying everyone under Facebook posts just won’t do it.

Not that having some form of presence online isn’t essential – far from it: if
people can’t find you, after all, then they can’t buy your books. But there’s a
big difference between being known and making everyone run for the hills – or
at least stop up their9 ears – anytime you say or do anything online.

Balance is the key: don’t just talk about your books or your writing – because,
honesty, very few people care about that … even your readers – instead fine a
subject that interests you and write about that as well. Give yourself some
dimension, some personality, some vulnerability, something … interesting, and
not that you are not just an arrogant scream-engine of me-me-me-me. Food, travel,
art, history, politics … you pick it, but most of all have fun with it.
Forced sincerity is just about as bad as incessant narcissism.

Okay, that’s all been said before – but one thing a lot of writers never think
about is actually getting out from behind their computers – or out of their
garret to tie in the opening to this. Sure, writing may far too often be a
solitary thing but putting yourself out there – in the (gasp) real world – can
open all kinds of doors. I’m not just talking publicity-that-can-sometimes-equal-book-sales,
either: there’s money to be made in all kinds of far-too-often overlooked
corners.

Not to turn this to (ahem) myself: but in addition to trying to do as many
readings and appearances as I can manage … or stand … I also teach classes.
One, it gets me out of the damned house and out into the (shudder) real world,
but it also, hopefully, shows people that I am not just a writer. Okay, a lot
of what I teach – from sex ed subjects to … well, writing – has to do with my
books and stories but it also allows me to become more than a virtual person.

By teaching classes and doing readings and stuff-like-that-there I’d made a lot
of great connections, met real-life-human-beings, and have seen a considerable
jump in book sales. Now don’t let me mislead you that this has been easy: there
are a lot of people out there who perform, teach, lecture, what-have-you
already so often it means almost starting a brand new career … scary and
frustrating doesn’t even begin to describe it. But, in the end, the rewards
have more than made up for the headaches.

Now you don’t have to read, or teach, or whatever: the main point of this is to
think outside of your little writing box. If you write historical fiction then
think about conducting tours of your city and it’s fascinating secrets and back
alleys; if you write SF then think about starting a science discussion group –
or even joining one. Like art? How about becoming a museum docent? Write
mysteries? Then organize a murder party – or just attend one.

You don’t have to make you and your work the focus of what you are doing. As in
the virtual world, connections can come from all kinds of unexpected directions
– which can then even lead to new opportunities … both for your writing but also
as a never-before-thought-of-cash stream.

My classes and lectures and whatever have not just brought be friends, booksales, totally new publicity venues, but also ($$) cash!

It’s also a great way of balancing my inherent shyness with the need to get out
there and be a person – which always helps not just sell whatever products you
happen to be selling but can also be extremely good for (not to get too
metaphysical or something) the soul: sure, we all might want to be left alone
in our little garrets to writer, write, write but the fact is that writing can
be very emotionally difficult …. to put it mildly. But thinking outside of
your box you can not just reach new, potential, readers but also possibly find
friends and an unexpected support system.

Teaching may not be for you, readings may not be for you … but I’m sure if
you put your wonderfully creative mind to it I’m sure you can think of a way to
not just get the word out about your work but also enrich yourself as a person.
It might be painful at first, but – believe me – it’ll be more than worth it.

Confessions of a Literary Streetwalker: The Best of the Best of the Best

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006YGDE6G/ref=cm_sw_su_dp

Here’s a quote that’s very near and dear to my heart:

“From
the age of six I had a mania for drawing the shapes of things. When I
was fifty I had published a universe of designs, but all I have done
before the age of seventy is not worth bothering with. At seventy five
I’ll have learned something of the pattern of nature, of animals, of
plants, of trees, birds, fish and insects. When I am eighty you will
see real progress. At ninety I shall have cut my way deeply into the
mystery of life itself. At a hundred I shall be a marvelous artist. At a
hundred and ten everything I create; a dot, a line, will jump to life
as never before. To all of you who are going to live as long as I do, I
promise to keep my word. I am writing this in my old age. I used to
call myself Hokosai, but today I sign my self ‘The Old Man Mad About
Drawing.'”

That was from Katsushika Hokusai, a
Japanese painter of the Ukiyo-e school (1760-1849). Don’t worry about
not knowing him, because you do. He created the famous Great Wave Off
Kanagawa, published in his “Thirty-six Views of Mount Fuji” — a print
of which you’ve probably seen a thousand times.

Hokusai says
it all: the work is what’s really important, that he will always
continue to grow and progress as an artist, and that who he is will
always remain less than what he creates.

Writing is like art. We
struggle to put our thoughts and intimate fantasies down just-so, then
we send them out into an often harsh and uncaring world, hoping that
someone out there will pat us on the head, give us a few coins, and tell
us we did a good job.

What with this emotionally chaotic
environment a little success can push just about anyone into feeling
overly superior. Being kicked and punched by the trials and
tribulations of the writing life making just about anyone desperate to
feel good about themselves — even if it means losing perspective,
looking down on other writers. Arrogance becomes an emotional survival
tool, a way of convincing themselves they deserve to be patted on the
noggin a few more times than anyone else, paid more coins, and told they
are beyond brilliant, extremely special.

It’s very easy to spot
someone afflicted with this. Since their superiority constantly needs
to be buttressed, they measure and wage the accomplishments and merits
of other writers putting to decide if they are better (and so should be
humbled) or worse (and so should be the source of worship or
admiration). In writers, this can come off as someone who thinks they
deserve better … everything than anyone else: pay, attention,
consideration, etc. In editors, this appears as rudeness, terseness, or
an unwillingness to treat contributors as anything but a resource to be
exploited.

Now my house has more than a few windows, and I have
more than enough stones, so I say all this with a bowed head: I am not
exactly without this sin. But I do think that trying to treat those
around you as equals should be the goal of every human on this planet,
let alone folks with literary aspirations. Sometimes we might fail, but
even trying as best we can — or at least owning the emotion when it
gets to be too much — is better than embracing an illusion of
superiority.

What this has to do with erotica writing has a lot
to do with marketing. As in my column (“Pedaling Your Ass”) where I
vented a bit on the practice of selling yourself rather than your work,
arrogance can be a serious roadblock for a writer. It is an illusion
— and a pervasive one — that good work will always win out. This
is true to a certain extent, but there are a lot of factors that can
step in the way of reading a great story and actually buying it. Part
of that is the relationship that exists between writers and publishers
or editors. A writer who honestly believes they are God’s gift to
mankind might be able to convince a few people, but after a point their
stories will be more received with a wince than a smile: no matter how
good a writer they are their demands are just not worth it.

For
editors and publishers, arrogance shows when more and more authors
simply don’t want to deal with them. After a point they might find
themselves with a shallower and shallower pool of talent from which to
pick their stories — and as more authors get burned by their attitude
and the word spreads they might also find themselves being spoken ill of
to more influential folks, like publishers.

Not to take away
from the spiritual goodness of being kind to others, acting superior is
also simply a bad career move. This is a very tiny community, with a
lot of people moving around. Playing God might be fun for a few years
but all it takes is stepping on a few too many toes — especially toes
that belong on the feet of someone who might suddenly be able to help
you in a big way some day – making arrogance a foolish role to play.

I
am not a Christian (despite my pseudonym) but they have a great way of
saying it, one that should be tacked in front of everyone’s forehead:
“Do onto others as you would have then do unto you.” It might not be as
elegant and passionate as my Hokusai quote, but it’s still a maxim we
should all strive to live by — professionally as well as personally.

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: Self Or Not?

Before I begin, a bit of disclosure: While the following has
been written in an attempt to be professionally and personally non-biased I am
an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books. 

Now, with that out of the way…

So, should you stay with the traditional model of working
with a publisher or go the self-publishing route?

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking – a lot — about
this.  The arguments for stepping
out on your own are certainly alluring, to put it mildly: being able to keep
every dime you make – instead of being paid a royalty – and having total and
complete control of your work being the big two. 

But after putting on my thinking cap – ponder, ponder, ponder — I’ve come to a few conclusions that are
going to keep me and my work with publishers for quite some time.

As always, take what I’m going to say there with a hefty
dose of sodium chloride: what works for
me … well, works for me and maybe not you.

Being on both sides
of the publishing fence – as a writer, editor, and now publisher (even as a
Associate Publisher) — has given me a pretty unique view of the world of not
just writing books, working to get them out into the world, but also a pretty good
glimpse at the clockwork mechanisms than run the whole shebang. 

For example, there’s been a long tradition of writers if not
actively hating then loudly grumbling about their publishers.  You name it and writers will bitch
about it: the covers, the publicity (or lack of), royalties … ad
infinitum.  Okay, I have to admit
more than a few grouches have been mine but with (and I really hate to say
this) age has come a change in my perspective.  No, I don’t think publishers should be
given carte blanch to do with as they
please and, absolutely, I think that writers should always have the freedom to
speak up if things are not to their liking, but that also doesn’t mean that
publisher’s are hand-wringing villains cackling at taking advantage of poor,
unfortunate authors.

It took finding a good publisher to change my mind … that
and seeing the business from the other side.  While there are a lot of things that separate a good
publisher from a poor one the most important one is that a good – and maybe
even great – publisher understands the business

Case in point: authors love to bitch about their covers –
but a publisher that takes the time to look at what is selling, what isn’t
selling, what distributors will and won’t accept, and creates a cover
accordingly is actually doing the author a service.  Yes, the cover may not be an accurate scene from the book,
but it – if it works — should tease and tantalize enough to get people to buy
it.  By the way, since this is
supposed to be about publisher versus self-publishing keep in mind that you
would not know what sells and what doesn’t – by the way, the amazon best
sellers list is not a good indication – and so will be operating pretty much in
the dark. 

Authors often work from ego – and there is nothing wrong
with that – but far too often what they want, and what will actually sell, are
polar opposites.  They want to see
their work like books they admire … but they also may be completely ignorant
of the fact that while those books look nice they simply don’t leap off the
shelves.

Being in the trenches of publishing, looking at the numbers
myself, is very sobering.  Just
take social networking.  For people
in self-publishing it’s the end-all, be-all — you can’t succeed, they say,
without it.  But while exposure is
important, many of your FaceBook friends will not buy your book.  The people who will buy your book are
looking for erotica they will enjoy – and if your cover, your marketing, your whatever,
doesn’t speak their language then they simply won’t cough up the bucks.  It’s a sobering though that many
bestselling erotica books are written by authors who don’t play the social
networking game … at all.

Yes, when you self publish you have complete and total
control – but that also means you have no access to a publisher’s experience:
you will have to do everything from scratch, from learning how to get your book
on amazon, iTunes, etc. to dealing with cover art specs and ebook
formatting.  Sure, when you
self-publish you keep every dime – but you could very well spend it and more in
time doing what a publisher does.

And marketing … I totally agree that publishers should do
more of it, but publishers have never been good at that, even before the ebook
revolution.  But even a little
publicity from a publisher can work wonders: many authors are discovered not
via advertising or marketing but because their book was put out by a publisher whose
catalog had a best seller in it.

If you self-publish then you are a single voice yelling as
loud as you can – and these days there are a lot of single voices yelling as
loud as they can – and against this din a lot of readers, and reviewers, are
turning a bit deaf.  It may be hard
to hear but being with a publisher still carries a lot of weight when it comes
to getting noticed. 

Sure, if you’re a huge author then going the
self-publishing route may make a lot of sense, but think of it this way: huge
or not, with a publisher your mailing list, fans, and miscellaneous contacts will
not be the only way people will hear about you and your book – and the cost of
getting more would probably be the same as the bucks a publisher would take. 

In the end, though, the decision is yours.  If I could leave you with anything,
though, is that while there are many publishers out there worthy of scorn there
actually are many that not only know what they are doing – though experience
and observation – and who can do a lot for you.  Often their advice may be hard to take, but if you trust
them they can be a great help – and perhaps the difference between writing a
book that doesn’t sell … and one that does.

Confessions of A Literary Streetwalker: "A Cookie Full Of Arsenic"

Ever seen Sweet Smell of Success
If you haven’t then you should: because, even though the film was shot
in 1957, it rings far too much, and far too loudly, in 2013.

In a nutshell, Sweet Smell of Success (directed
by Alexander Mackendrick from a script by the amazing Clifford Odets
and Ernest Lehman) is about the all-powerful columnist J.J. Hunsecker
(Burt Lancaster) – who can make or break anyone and anything he wants —
and the desperate press agent Sidney Falco (Tony Curtis), who loses
everything for trying to curry favor with Hunsecker for … well, that Sweet Smell of Success.

So
… 1957 to 2013.  A lot’s changed, that’s for sure.  But recently
rewatching this, one of my all-time favorite films, gave me a very
uncomfortable chill.  But first a bit of history (stop that groaning):
you see, J.J. Hunsecker was based – more than thinly – on another
all-powerful columnist, the man who once said, about the who he was, and
the power he wielded as, ” I’m just a son of a bitch.”

There was even a word, created by Robert Heinlein of all people, to describe a person like this: winchell – for the man himself — Walter Winchell.

A
book, movie, star, politician – anyone who wanted success would do, and
frequently did, anything for both Walter and his fictional doppelganger
J.J. Hunsecker.  Their power was absolute … even a rumor, a fraction
of a sentence could mean the difference between headlines and the morgue
of a dead career.  As Hunsecker puts it to a poor entertainer who
crossed him: “You’re dead, son. Get yourself buried.”

Welcome
to 2012: we have iPhones, Ipads, Nooks, Kindle’s, 4G, Bluetooth,
Facebook, Twitter … in many ways we’re just a food pill away from
every futuristic fantasy ever put-to-pulp.  But there’s a problem …
and it’s a big one.

I think it’s time to bring winchell back … not the man, of course, even if that were possible, but the word.  Yes, a lot has changed from Walter and Sweet Smell of Success but, sadly, as the old cliché goes: “the more things change the more they stay the same.”

The
Internet has altered – quite literally – everything, but in many ways
the speed, and totality, of its change has made a lot of people, writers
to readers to just-plain-surfers, desperate for benchmarks: a place or
person to go to that, they hope, will be there in the morning.

For writers this often means an editor, site, or just another writer.  In the ‘biz’ these people are called names:
meaning that mentioning by them seems to have a kind of rub-for-luck
power for other writers – with the ultimate prize being (gasp) noticed by
them.  Sadly, this make-or-break mojo is occasionally true – though a
surprising large number of these “names” are only divine in their
twisted little minds.

I’ve
said it before and so, naturally, I have to say it again: writing
anything – smut to whatever you want to create – is damned hard work:
all of us writers put our heart and souls down on the digital page and
then send it out into a far-too-frequently uncaring digital universe. 
No writer … let me say that again with vehement emphasis … is better than any other writer
Sure, a few get paid more, have more books or stories published, but
the work involved is the same – as is their history: name any … well, name and you will see a person who, once upon a time, was sitting in the dark with nothing but hopes and dreams. 

Which is why these … winchells give
me unpleasant flashbacks to Lancaster telling Curtis: “Son, I don’t
relish shooting a mosquito with an elephant gun, so why don’t you just
shuffle along?”

Honestly, I will get
to the point: never forget that what you are doing, as a writer, is
special and wonderful.  Yeah, you might be rough around the edges; sure,
you may be years away from stepping out of the shadows and into the
blinding light of being (gasp) a name yourself; but you deserve respect.

I
have a simple rule.  Okay, it might be a little harsh but it keeps me
going in the face of trying to get out there into the big, wide, and
far-too-uncaring world: ignore me and I ignore you. 

Facebook
likes and comments, twitter responses, by the way, don’t count.  That’s
not communication – at least not to me (not to sound like a crotchety
old man).  If I write anyone – an editor, site, or just another writer –
and I don’t get an answer then I wish you into the cornfield.  The same
goes with rude responses … like the writer who asked me to promote
her book.  I said that I would if she’d promote mine as well.  Quid pro quo, right?  She never wrote back – not even after a few polite suggestions for mutual exposure  … so I hope she likes popcorn.

Being
rude, not answering messages, playing the “are you a name? If not then
screw you” game: there is no reason for this behavior.  Never!

Instead of trying to suck to up names or
support them and their sites with a pathetic fantasy that you, too, may
actually be seen by them, find some real, true, and good friends:
people who will hold your hand when it gets dark and scary; who will
bring you along no matter where they go; who understand the bumps in the
road because they, too, are on the same path; who will understand
kindness but also karma – that good begets good. 

Being a winchell may taste good, at first: being able to consider yourself better than other writers, to associate with other names in
the business, to be able to make – or break – anyone who want for
whatever reason you have … but there’s a great Hollywood expression
that rings in my head just as loudly as any line from Sweet Smell of Success:

Always
be nice to the people you meet on the way up, because those are the
very same people you’ll be meeting on the way back down.

In closing, remember that anyone, anywhere – name or
not — who doesn’t treat you with at least professional equality,
mutual respect, or just simple human politeness is, to quote from Sweet Smell of Success: “A cookie full of arsenic.”

Confessions of a Literary Streetwalker: Location, Location

 http://amzn.com/1615083014

Even
before writing about the sex in a sexy story you have to set the stage,
decide where this hot and heavy action is going to take place. What a
lot of merry pornographers don’t realize is that the where can be just
as important as the what in a smutty tale. In other words, to quote a
real estate maxim: Location, location … etc.

Way too many times
writers will makes their story locales more exotic than the activities
of their bump-and-grinding participants: steam rooms, elevators,
beaches, hot tubs, hiking trails, space stations, sports cars, airplane
bathrooms, phone booths, back alleys, fitting rooms, cabs, sail boats,
intensive care wards, locker rooms, under bleachers, peep show booths,
movie theaters, offices, libraries, barracks, under a restaurant table,
packing lots, rest stops, basements, showrooms — get my drift?

I
know I’ve said in the past that sexual experience doesn’t really make a
better smut writer, but when it comes to choosing where your characters
get to their business, it pays to know quite a bit about the setting
you’re getting them into.

Just like making an anatomical or
sexual boo-boo in a story, putting your characters into a place that
anyone with a tad of experience knows isn’t going to be a fantastic time
but rather something that will generate more pain than pleasure is a
sure sign of an erotica amateur.

Take for instance the wonderful
sexual pleasure than can come from screwing around in a car. Haven’t
done it? Well you should because after you do you’ll never write about
it — unless you’re going for giggles.

Same goes for the beach.
Ever get sand between your toes? Now think about that same itchy,
scratchy — very unsexy — feeling in your pants. Not fun. Very not
fun.

Beyond the mistake of making a tryst in a back alley sound
exciting (it isn’t, unless you’re really into rotting garbage), setting
the stage in a story serves many other positive purposes. For instance,
the environment of a story can tell a lot about a character — messy
meaning a scattered mind, neatness meaning controlling, etc. — or about
what you’re trying to say in the story: redemption, humor, fright,
hope, and so forth. Not that you should lay it on so thick that it’s
painfully obvious, but the stage can and should be another character, an
added dimension to your story.

Simply saying where something is
happening is only part of the importance of setting. You have to put
the reader there. Details, folks. Details! Research, not sexual this
time, is very important. Pay attention to the world, note how a room or
a place FEELS — the little things that make it unique. Shadows on the
floor or walls, the smells and what they mean to your characters; all
kinds of sounds, the way things feel, important minutiae, or even just
interesting features.

After you’ve stored up some of those unique
features of a place, use special and evocative descriptions to really
draw people in. Though quantity is good, quality is better. A few
well-chosen lines can instantly set the stage: an applause of suddenly
flying pigeons, the aimless babble of a crowd, rainbow reflections in
slicks of oil, twirling leaves on a tree, clouds boiling into a storm
… okay, that was a bit overdone, but you hopefully get my gist.

Once
again: location is not something that’s only important to real estate.
If you put your characters into an interesting, well-thought-out,
vividly written setting, it can not only set the stage for their erotic
mischief but it can also amplify the theme or add depth to the story.
After all, if you don’t give your writing a viable place, then a reader
won’t truly understand where they are — or care about what’s going on.

Confessions of a Literary Streetwalker: Writing Coaches and Teachers

(thanks to WriteSex, where this article originally appeared)

For new writers, the temptation is obvious: after all, if you don’t know something, shouldn’t you seek out a way to learn about it? The question of how to educate yourself as a writer is a necessary and important one, of course, but an often-invisible second question follows: how do you sift through the piles of would-be writing coaches, teachers and other purveyors of advice to find the ones who will lead you toward genuinely better writing? The problem isn’t that there are over-eager teachers galore, but that far too many of them are preaching from ignorance—or just dully quoting what others have already said.

This is particularly true of erotic romance. Now, I have to admit I’ve been more than a bit spoiled by other genres, where you can write about whatever you want without much of a chance—beyond clumsy writing—of getting rejected for not toeing the line, so approaching erotic romance has been a bit more of a challenge. Romance authors, after all, have been told time and time again that there is a very precise, almost exacting, Way of Doing Things … and if you don’t, then bye-bye book deal.

But times have changed, and while a few stubborn publishers still want erotic romantic fiction that follows established formulas, the quantum leap of digital publishing has totally shaken up by-the-numbers approaches to romance writing. Without going too much into it (maybe in another column…), because ebooks are so much easier to produce, publishers can take wonderful risks on new authors and concepts, meaning that they don’t have to wring their hands in fright that the new title they greenlit will go bust and possibly take the whole company with it.

Because of this freedom, erotic romance can be so much more than it ever was: experimental, innovative, unique, challenging, etc. These are no longer the Words of Death when it comes to putting together a book.

One of the great, underlying tasks of teaching—one I love, but with some reverence and an occasional pang of dread—is challenging the boring, formulaic, way that so many talk about writing (which is also to say that a huge part of the reason I love to teach is that it’s a weird form of revenge against all the bad writing teachers I’ve had over the years). There are, however, far too many writing teachers who relentlessly parrot that erotic romance has to follow a strict formula to be successful. They spell out this formula in stomach-cramping detail: what has to happen to each and every character, in each and every chapter, in each and every book.

This is not to say that new authors should put their hands over their ears any time someone offers up advice on romance writing; there is, after all, a huge difference between a teacher who inspires from experience and one who is just a conduit between you and a textbook. A publisher, for instance, who looks at their catalogue and can see what is selling for the moment—they’re worth listening to. On the other hand, one who sets down unbending rules on what Not To Do and What To Do, regardless of the changing interests of readers or the innovations of writers, is only mumbling at you through the sand in which their head is lodged. Case in point: I once had a erotic romance novel rejected by a major publisher not because of the writing, the plot, the characters, or the setting but because it was about a painter and, according to this publisher, “books about painters don’t sell.” Needless to say, I didn’t let this feedback stop me from sending the book to a different publisher—where it sold quite well.

The A-to-B-to-C form of teaching writing is likened to cutting up a frog: certainly an efficient way of finding out (ewwwww) the contents of an amphibian … but totally useless as a way of creating your own. A good test of a writing instructor, by the way, is how you feel at the end of the class or how-to book: if you’re shaking like a leaf that you might have made—or will make—some kind of horrible erotic-romance-writing mistake, then the lesson was a bad one … but if you leave feeling elated, inspired, confident and ready to build your story into something powerful then, you guessed it, the class was good.

Folks have come to me with questions like “Can I start my story with an email?” “Can I start with the weather?” “Can my setting be in a foreign country?” “Can I write about an artist?” I think you can guess what my answer always is: just write! One, you can always change it later and, two (most importantly) write what you want to read: don’t suffocate your creativity with formulas, set-in-stone rules, mandatory character arcs and Hero’s Journeys, or any standardized thing that isn’t relevant to what’s really happening in your story. Instead, think of writing—especially erotic romance—as creation. Sure, you’re going to make some mistakes, but everyone does. That’s what learning is all about. Taking class after class after class doesn’t write books: you do! Taking class after class after class doesn’t even make you a better writer: you do!

Sure, you should seek out some teachers—especially when you are ready to step into the completely terrifying world of publishing—but don’t think that there is a guru out there who has all the answers, who is the Sacred Keeper of the Great Romance Writing Secret. If they were, wouldn’t they be sitting on their yacht sipping immaculately prepared daiquiris?

The best advice, the best lesson that anyone can give a writer, is the simplest: write. Create stories and books and on and on and on until it begins to flow and the words aren’t words anymore but just notes in a composition, until plot and character and setting and dialogue aren’t separate things but part of a greater, beautiful, whole. Once you can hold what you wrote in your hand—or on the screen—and say to yourself that what you have created is good, then you can study the lessons of how to put it out into the world.

But, until then, do everything you can to keep yourself inspired, enthusiastic, creative, thrilled, and excited about writing—by staying away from the tired idea of formulas … and keep that frog intact.

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: Self Or Not?

Before I begin, a bit of disclosure: While the following has
been written in an attempt to be professionally and personally non-biased I am
an Associate Publisher for Renaissance E Books. 

Now, with that out of the way…

So, should you stay with the traditional model of working
with a publisher or go the self-publishing route?

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been thinking – a lot — about
this.  The arguments for stepping
out on your own are certainly alluring, to put it mildly: being able to keep
every dime you make – instead of being paid a royalty – and having total and
complete control of your work being the big two.  

But after putting on my thinking cap – ponder, ponder, ponder — I’ve come to a few conclusions that are
going to keep me and my work with publishers for quite some time.

As always, take what I’m going to say there with a hefty
dose of sodium chloride: what works for
me … well, works for me and maybe not you.

Being on both sides
of the publishing fence – as a writer, editor, and now publisher (even as a
Associate Publisher) — has given me a pretty unique view of the world of not
just writing books, working to get them out into the world, but also a pretty good
glimpse at the clockwork mechanisms than run the whole shebang.  

For example, there’s been a long tradition of writers if not
actively hating then loudly grumbling about their publishers.  You name it and writers will bitch
about it: the covers, the publicity (or lack of), royalties … ad
infinitum.  Okay, I have to admit
more than a few grouches have been mine but with (and I really hate to say
this) age has come a change in my perspective.  No, I don’t think publishers should be
given carte blanch to do with as they
please and, absolutely, I think that writers should always have the freedom to
speak up if things are not to their liking, but that also doesn’t mean that
publisher’s are hand-wringing villains cackling at taking advantage of poor,
unfortunate authors.

It took finding a good publisher to change my mind … that
and seeing the business from the other side.  While there are a lot of things that separate a good
publisher from a poor one the most important one is that a good – and maybe
even great – publisher understands the business.  

Case in point: authors love to bitch about their covers –
but a publisher that takes the time to look at what is selling, what isn’t
selling, what distributors will and won’t accept, and creates a cover
accordingly is actually doing the author a service.  Yes, the cover may not be an accurate scene from the book,
but it – if it works — should tease and tantalize enough to get people to buy
it.  By the way, since this is
supposed to be about publisher versus self-publishing keep in mind that you
would not know what sells and what doesn’t – by the way, the amazon best
sellers list is not a good indication – and so will be operating pretty much in
the dark.  

Authors often work from ego – and there is nothing wrong
with that – but far too often what they want, and what will actually sell, are
polar opposites.  They want to see
their work like books they admire … but they also may be completely ignorant
of the fact that while those books look nice they simply don’t leap off the
shelves. 

Being in the trenches of publishing, looking at the numbers
myself, is very sobering.  Just
take social networking.  For people
in self-publishing it’s the end-all, be-all — you can’t succeed, they say,
without it.  But while exposure is
important, many of your FaceBook friends will not buy your book.  The people who will buy your book are
looking for erotica they will enjoy – and if your cover, your marketing, your whatever,
doesn’t speak their language then they simply won’t cough up the bucks.  It’s a sobering though that many
bestselling erotica books are written by authors who don’t play the social
networking game … at all.

Yes, when you self publish you have complete and total
control – but that also means you have no access to a publisher’s experience:
you will have to do everything from scratch, from learning how to get your book
on amazon, iTunes, etc. to dealing with cover art specs and ebook
formatting.  Sure, when you
self-publish you keep every dime – but you could very well spend it and more in
time doing what a publisher does.

And marketing … I totally agree that publishers should do
more of it, but publishers have never been good at that, even before the ebook
revolution.  But even a little
publicity from a publisher can work wonders: many authors are discovered not
via advertising or marketing but because their book was put out by a publisher whose
catalog had a best seller in it.

If you self-publish then you are a single voice yelling as
loud as you can – and these days there are a lot of single voices yelling as
loud as they can – and against this din a lot of readers, and reviewers, are
turning a bit deaf.  It may be hard
to hear but being with a publisher still carries a lot of weight when it comes
to getting noticed.  

Sure, if you’re a huge author then going the
self-publishing route may make a lot of sense, but think of it this way: huge
or not, with a publisher your mailing list, fans, and miscellaneous contacts will
not be the only way people will hear about you and your book – and the cost of
getting more would probably be the same as the bucks a publisher would take.  

In the end, though, the decision is yours.  If I could leave you with anything,
though, is that while there are many publishers out there worthy of scorn there
actually are many that not only know what they are doing – though experience
and observation – and who can do a lot for you.  Often their advice may be hard to take, but if you trust
them they can be a great help – and perhaps the difference between writing a
book that doesn’t sell … and one that does.

Confessions of a Literary Streetwalker: Howdy!

While
it isn’t the most important thing to do before sending off a story
(that’s reserved for writing the story itself), drafting an effective
cover letter/email is probably right below it.

So here is a quick
sample of what to do and NOT when putting together a cover letter to go
with your story. That being said, remember that I’m just one of many
(many) editors out there, each with their own quirks and buttons to
push. Like writing the story itself, practice and sensitivity is will
teach you a lot, but this will give you a start.

So … Don’t Do What Bad Johnny Don’t Does:

Dear M. (1),

Here
is my story (2) for your collection (3), it’s about a guy and a girl
who fall in love on the Titanic (4). I haven’t written anything like
this before (5), but your book looked easy enough to get into (6). My
friends say I’m pretty creative (7). Please fill out and send back the
enclosed postcard (8). If I have not heard from you in two months (9) I
will consider this story rejected and send it somewhere else (10). I
am also sending this story to other people. If they want it, I’ll write
to let you know (11).

I noticed that your guidelines say First
North American Serial rights. What’s that (12)? If I don’t have all
rights then I do not want you to use my story (13).

I work at the DMV (14) and have three cats named Mumbles, Blotchy and Kismet (15).

Mistress Divine (16)
[email protected] (17)

(1)
Don’t be cute. If you don’t know the editor’s name, or first name, or
if the name is real or a pseudonym, just say “Hello” or “Editor” or
somesuch.

(2) Answer the basic questions up front: how long is the story, is it original or a reprint, what’s the title?

(3)
What book are you submitting to? Editors often have more than one open
at any time and it can get very confusing. Also, try and know what the
hell you’re talking about: a ‘collection’ is a book of short stories by
one author, an ‘anthology’ is a book of short stories by multiple
authors. Demonstrate that you know what you’re submitting to.

(4)
You don’t need to spell out the plot, but this raises another issue:
don’t submit inappropriate stories. If this submission was to a gay or
lesbian book, it would result in an instant rejection and a ticked-off
editor.

(5) The story might be great, but this already has you
pegged as a twit. If you haven’t been published before don’t say
anything, but if you have then DEFINITELY say so, making sure to note
what kind of markets you’ve been in (anthology, novel, website and so
forth). Don’t assume the editor has heard of where you’ve been or who
you are, either. Too often I get stories from people who list a litany
of previous publications that I’ve never heard of. Not that I need to,
but when they make them sound like I should it just makes them sound
arrogant. Which is not a good thing.

(6) Gee, thanks so much. Loser.

(7) Friends, lovers, Significant Others and so forth — who cares?

(8)
Not happening. I have a stack of manuscripts next to me for a project
I’m doing. The deadline for submissions is in two months. I will
probably not start reading them until at least then, so your postcard is
just going to sit there. Also, remember that editors want as smooth a
transition from their brain to your story as possible; anything they
have to respond to, fill out, or baby-sit is just going to annoy them.

(9)
Get real — sometimes editors take six months to a year to respond.
This is not to say they are lazy or cruel; they’re just busy or dealing
with a lot of other things. Six months is the usual cut-off time,
meaning that after six months you can either consider your story
rejected or you can write a polite little note asking how the project is
going. By the way, writing rude or demanding notes is going to get you
nothing but rejected or a bad reputation — and who wants that?

(10)
When I get something like this I still read the story but to be honest
it would take something of genius level quality for me to look beyond
this arrogance. Besides, what this approach says more than anything is
that even if the story is great, you are going to be too much of a pain
to work with. Better to find a ‘just as good’ story from someone else
than put up with this kind of an attitude.

(11) This is called
simultaneous submission: sending a story to two places at once, thinking
that it will cut down on the frustration of having to wait for one
place to reject it before sending it along to another editor. Don’t do
it — unless the Call for Submissions says it’s okay, of course. Even
then, though, it’s not a good idea because technically you’d have to
send it to two places that think it’s okay, which is damned rare. The
problem is that if one place wants your work, then you have to go to the
other places you sent it to tell them so — which very often results in
one very pissed editor. Don’t do it. We all hate having to wait for
one place to reject our work, but that’s just part of the game. Live
with it.

(12) Many editors are more than willing to answer simple
questions about their projects, but just as many others will never
respond — especially to questions that can easily be answered by
reading a basic writing book (or reading columns like this one). Know
as much as you can and then, only then, write to ask questions.

(13)
This story is automatically rejected. Tough luck. Things like
payment, rights, and so forth are very rarely in the editor’s control.
Besides, this is a clear signal that, once again, the author is simply
going to be way too much trouble to deal with. Better to send out that
rejection form letter and move onto the next story.

(14) Who cares?

(15) Really, who cares?

(16)
Another sign of a loser. It’s perfectly okay to use a pseudonym but
something as wacky as this is just going to mark you as a novice. Also,
cover letters are a place for you, as a person, to write to the editor,
another person. Put your pseudonym on your story, don’t sign your
cover letter with it.

(17) Email address — this is great, but
it’s also very obviously a work address, which makes a lot of editors
very nervous. First of all, people leave jobs all the time so way too
often, these addresses have very short lives. Second, work email
servers are rarely secure — at least from the eyes of prying bosses.
Do you really want your supervisor to see your rejection from a Big Tits
In Bondage book? I don’t think so.
#

Do What Johnny Does Does:

Hi, Chris (1),

It
was with great excitement (2) that I read your call for submissions for
your new anthology, Love Beast (3). I’ve long been a fan not only of
werewolf erotica (4) but also your books and stories as well (5)

I’ve
been published in about twelve websites, including Sex Chat, Litsmut,
and Erotically Yours, and in two anthologies, Best of Chocolate Erotica
(Filthy Books) and Clickty-Clack, Erotic Train Stories (Red Ball Books)
(6).

Enclosed is my 2,300 word original story, “When Hairy Met
Sally” (7). I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it
(which is a lot) (8). Please feel free to write me at
[email protected] if you have any questions (9).

In the meantime best of luck with your projects and keep up the great work .(10)

Molly Riggs (11)

##

(1) Nice; she knows my real first name is Chris. A bit of research on an editor or potential market never hurt anyone.

(2) It’s perfectly okay to be enthusiastic. No one likes to get a story from someone who thinks your project is dull.

(3) She knows the book and the title.

(4)
She knows the genre and likes it. You’d be surprised the number of
people who either pass out backhanded compliments or joke about
anthologies or projects thinking it’s endearing or shows a ‘with it’
attitude. Believe me, it’s neither — just annoying.

(5) Editing
can be a lonely business, what with having to reject people all the
time. Getting a nice little compliment can mean a lot. It won’t change
a bad story into an acceptable one, but making an editor smile is
always a good thing.

(6) The bio is brief, to the point, and
explains the markets. You don’t need to list everything you’ve ever
sold to, just the key points.

(7) Everything about the story is
there: the title, the words, if it’s original or a reprint (and, of
course if it’s a reprint you should also say when and where it first
appeared, even if it’s a website).

(8) Again, a little smile is a
good thing. I know this is awfully trite but when the sentiment is
heartfelt and the writer’s sense of enjoyment is true, it does mean
something to an editor. I want people to enjoy writing for one of my
books, even if I don’t take the story.

(9) Good email address (obviously not work) and an invitation to chat if needed. Good points there.

(10)
Okay, maybe it’s a bit thick here but this person is also clearly very
nice, professional, eager and more than likely will either be easy to
work with or, if need be, reject without drama.

(11) Real name —
I’d much rather work with a person than an identity. I also know that
“Molly” is not playing games with who she is, and what she is, just to
try and make a sale.

There’s more, as said, but this at least
will keep you from stepping on too many toes — even before your story
gets read. If there’s a lesson in this, it’s to remember that an editor
is, deep down, a person trying to do the best job they can, just like
you. Treat them as such and they’ll return the favor.

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: The Right Word

(big thanks to Erotica For All, where this article first appeared)

The Right Word

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter — it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.
– Mark Twain

No insult to Mr. Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens to his pals), but he’s a bit wrong there … but, more importantly, a lot right.

Wrong in when writing, slaving over just the right word can, too often, grind the process to a halt. When I hit that speed bump I usually just put the word I know isn’t the perfect, ideal, and – yep – right I just highlight it so I know, when I look over whatever I’m writing I can come back and fix it later. The key to keeping up your flow is not just writing well but to keep writing. Period. It’s far too easy to let niggling details get in the way of where you’re doing, and what you’re saying: it’s far better to just keep at it and then come back and do some tweaking after.

But Sam (Mark Twain to everyone else) is damned right about the damned right word. It’s been a very strange trip, going from writer to editor and, now, to publisher: I see a lot of things I wish that writers would get into their heads – and, similarly, try to get into my own thick noggin. The number one has to be to show and not tell: in more words, rather than less, it’s far better to be evocative and imagination-feeding than completely, unarguably, accurate.

Let’s try something: the brown chair. Not much there right? We know it’s a chair, we know it’s brown. End of story. But what if I wrote, “the chair was the color of a well-worn dirt road”? Immediately you not just see the chair but might even feel a bit about it: the road, and it’s color, overlaid with an image what a chair like that might look like, feel like, smell like, etc.

It’s far better to conjure the chair, with magical language and imagery, than carry it onto the stage. You can so much with so little if you take the time to think of words, and language, that is evocative and alluring that unarguably precise. The same, naturally, goes with sex: rather than saying that, say, someone’s breasts were perfect, or conical, or whatever shape you’re thinking of, try, instead to say they were “happily rich and full, tipped by the inquisitive arousal of umber nipples.” Okay, that might be a bit too much but I think you get my point: the first was dull, boring – the second says so much more happily at that.

Additionally, I’ve seen far too many stories cross my desk (as both an editor and a publisher) where the author thinks that they have to not just set that stage but show the reader every little board and nail. I have a little joke I tell when I teach writing (smut or otherwise): avoid the scroll. The origin of the joke it the way some movies – and far too many books and movies – feel that they have to spell out the world, the setting before even showing a single character, setting, or hint of a conflict. In movies it shows up as a literal scroll of what’s going to happen. Sure, it can be good – even very well written (The Road Warrior is a perfect example) — but far too many times it goes on too long and says far too much. It is far better to simply start the story with us, the reader/watcher, right in the middle of it.

For instance, what’s more effective…

A: Robert Sharpe West was 56 years old, a little overweight, with a full shock of dark hair. His job for the Central Intelligence Agency was to take care of their problems. One of those problems was named Anne Smith. She had taken something that didn’t belong to her and so it was up with Robert Sharpe West to get it back…

B: The first bullet exploded in impact an foot from his head, two centuries of Roman architecture splintering into a dusty bloom that bit his eyes, burned his cheek, and filled the air between him and the shooter with a cloud of dust – a cloud hiding the second bullet: the one that hit the wall, again, right where he’d thrown himself, where he’d been standing before twenty years experience hadn’t screamed in his ear move, damnit, move!

Okay, that wasn’t exactly brilliant but what do you expect for something tossed off pretty quickly. But I think you get my point: the first scene is – yawn – pretty damned dull. The second, however, gets the shit across pretty dramatically. The same, of course, is true of erotica: we don’t need to know the characters’ heights, weights, job histories, what they are wearing, where they went to school … zzzzzzzz … sorry, I nodded off a bit there. What we do need to know is who they are in a way that immediately, and evocatively, draws the reader immediately into the story. Don’t worry, if it’s important you want always dribble in the facts and figures and histories and all that other stuff as the story progresses – you just don’t need to begin the story by standing on stage and reading a dry scroll. Drop us right into the middle of it, with guns – or genitals – a blazing!

While picking just the right word can, sure, slow things down, Sam (Or Mark) is more completely right than wrong: try – always try – to bring down the literary lightning, instead of describing the boring details of a photinus carolinus. A flash of brilliance, after all, is always much more beautiful that just describing a glowing little bug.

Confessions Of A Literary Streetwalker: Definitive Definitions

Definitive Definitions 

A pal of mine asked an
interesting question once: what’s my definition of erotica, or of pornography?
Other folks have been asked these questions, of course, and the answers have
been as varied as those asked, but even as I zapped off my own response I
started to really think about how people define what they write, and more
importantly, why.

It’s easy to agree with
folks who say there’s a difference between erotica and pornography. One of the
most frequent definitions is that erotica is sexually explicit literature that
talks about something else aside from sex, while porno is sex, sex and more sex
and nothing else. The problem with trying to define erotica is that it’s purely
subjective—even using the erotica-is-more-than-just-sex and porn-is-
just-sex-analysis. Where’s the line and when do you cross it? One person’s
literate erotica is another’s pure filth. Others like to use a proportional
scale a certain percent of sex content—bing!—something becomes porn. Once
again: Who sets the scale?

What I find interesting
isn’t necessarily what the distinction between erotica and pornography should
be but why there should be one to begin with. Some writers I’ve encountered
seem to be looking for a clear-cut definition just so they won’t be grouped
together with the likes of Hustler and Spank Me, Daddy. While I agree that
there’s a big difference between what’s being published in some of the more
interesting anthologies, magazines and Web sites as opposed to Hustler and Spank
Me, Daddy
, I also think that a lot of this searching for a definition is more
about ego and less about literary analysis. Rather than risk being put on the
shelves next to Hustler and Spank Me Daddy, some writers try to draw up lists
and rules that naturally favor what they write compared to what other people
write: “I write erotica, but that other stuff is just pornography.
Therefore what I write is better.”

This thought process has
always baffled me. First of all, it’s completely subjective. Who died and made
you arbiter of what’s erotica and what’s pornography? It sounds like those
drawing the line have something to prove to themselves, or hide from. They
decide it’s okay to hate pornography because what I write is erotica. More
importantly, this little fit of insecurity opens the door for other people to
start using your own definitions against you. Even a casual glance at the
politics of groups out to “save” us all from the evils of pornography
shows that they will use any device, any subjective rule (otherwise known as
“community standards”), any nasty tactic to arrest, impound, burn, or
otherwise erase what they consider to be dirty words. You might consider yourself
an erotica writer, and be able to show certain people that you are—or, more
importantly, convince yourself that you are—but to someone else you’re nothing
but a pornographer, just like the stories and writers from whom you’re trying
to distance yourself.

So I don’t I’ll tell you
that personally, I use all the terms pretty much interchangeably: Porn,
erotica, smut, literotica, and so forth. You name it, I use it. Depends on
who’s asking. If I’m writing to an editor or publisher, I use erotica. If I’m
talking to another author, I playfully call myself a “smut” writer.
If a Jesus Freak gets me out of bed with a knock on the door, I’m a damned
pornographer. In my heart, though, I just call myself a writer because even
though I write stories of butt-fucking bikers, lascivious cheerleaders, horny
space aliens, and leathermen, I’m more turned on by trying to write an
interesting story than what the story may particularly be about. Half the time
I’m not even aware that what I’m writing is a sex story because I’m having way
too much fun with alliteration, character, description, and plot! The fact that
what I’m writing may appear in an anthology or book with the word
“erotic” in the title has nothing to do with how I approach my
writing: a story is a story no matter the amount or manner of the eroticism I
may include. A good example of my commitment to writing, pure and simple, is
that I sign my work M.Christian, no matter what I’m working on: science
fiction, mystery, literary fiction, non-fiction, or even something with
“erotic” in the title.

If there’s a point to
all this, it’s that you’re in charge of your own definitions, but try and pay
attention to why you define, or why you feel you should. Erotica, pornography,
smut, dirty words—be proud of what you write but never ever forget that genres,
labels, brands, and all the rest are meaningless. If you’re a writer, you
write. And you get to call the fruits of your labor whatever you want because
you created it.

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

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