F*** and B**
By Larry Archer
Why do we enjoy the Lifestyle is an interesting question that occasionally we get asked? Occasionally is because there are not a lot of reasons for it to come up. Similar to being gay or trans, swinging is not a topic that you bring up with your straight friends.
Generally speaking, I believe most straights assume that we spend all our time in bed with somebody else’s husband or wife. While that may be true to somewhat of a degree, the Lifestyle is a lot more than fucking and sucking.
When you are with other couples, the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and stressfree. You don’t have to worry about your other half playing grabass with someone else after a few drinks. While there is a fair possibility that it may, in fact, happen, it doesn’t mean a problem. Just pull up a chair and enjoy the view or take care of someone else.
Certainly, there is an initial adjustment period for most couples, and some will bail initially as they can’t come to grips with their spouse sleeping with another. It’s natural to have some jealousy when your wife is getting her brains fucked out, but it’s funny how quickly that passes.
We always tell new couples to try and keep it even as it’s hard to be upset when you’re getting your bell also rang at the same time your wife is getting off. So if one of you is partying, then hopefully the other is also. The point to keep in mind is that this is simply sex and nothing else. Swinging is not cheating, and there is no love involved.
You are not slipping off for a nooner at Motel 6 or tipping the gardeners with a gangbang. Plus the neat thing is you can tell your other half all about it. If you cheat with that hot MILF in accounting, who are you going to tell about the blowjob you got in the storeroom, certainly not your wife?
It might seem strange at first, but getting sloppy seconds from your wife while she’s telling you exactly what she just did to some other guy or girl is so neat. A lot of guys enjoy watching their wife with other men, and being in the Lifestyle allows you to do that without worrying about what could happen.
New couples may think it’s better to start with another couple, but I think larger parties are a better choice. With only one other couple, you may have to take one for the team or a “charity fuck” as we call them. You can certainly say no, but you may feel somewhat forced to get with the other person as you’ll both be in the living room looking at each other while your other half is getting his lights drilled out.
At a house party, you are free to pick a different partner or not do anything if you desire. Just because your husband is with someone’s wife, doesn’t mean that you have to go with her husband. When your choices are greater, it’s more likely that you’ll find someone you like.
Sometimes, the wife is the ticket for the husband to get in the door, and people will quickly pick up on the fact, she never parties. This will typically mean that invitations for the next party will quickly dry up. Swinging is an event for both parties, and if you both don’t want to do it, maybe you should take up bowling.
If a cuckold – Hotwife couple are not swingers, they end up having to pick up random guys at a bar or possibly at work. This can be fraught with potential problems. If she goes off with a person or couple at a party, everyone knows where their partner is, and you don’t have to worry about them getting raped or attacked.
Certainly, couples can make this work, but for new couples, be careful. One couple we know had just flown in from somewhere and decided to get a drink at the airport bar. The wife ended up taking a hockey team back to the motel for a gangbang. Her husband said that it was incredible watching his wife take on the whole team.
Straight guys tend to freak out if the husband asks if he can watch! One of our best friends is a Hotwife, and she’d been taking care of guys before they started swinging. Her husband would sometimes be frustrated as he couldn’t find a place to hide and watch from. He had to be satisfied with her giving him a blow by blow detailed story afterward.
Now he can stand by the bed and jerk off or hide in the closet and peek out without anyone thinking he’s weird. With us, he likes to video his wife so he can enjoy it over and over. She’s a blonde MILF with an awesome body, and she often goes out with my wife and I. They are both exhibitionists and enjoy flirting and showing off to strange guys and girls.
We have a Corvette convertible with only two seats, so one has to sit in the other’s lap which always generates interesting comments from passersby. She was initially not very BI but was quickly converted by my wife, who’s more into girls than guys, unless he’s well built, .i.e. hung (LOL).
For me, the swing scene offers a ton of benefits, especially if you enjoy your wife showing off and being able to check out the girls at a party. A big chunk of the women are exhibitionists and being able to show off their bodies without snide remarks is a big plus for them.
Wifey loves to flirt and gets a charge out of “accidentally” showing off to straights at a bar. She never wears a bra and is often commando. So bending over to show off the assets gives her a thrill. When there are several couples at a bar, the girls typically put on a show for everyone. We like our wives to be the center of attention and don’t have to worry about them running off with someone. Plus they know they are safe and protected in case someone gets the wrong idea.
Boredom is a common problem among marrieds. No matter how much fun it is to be with your other half, there’s always a thrill when you are with someone different. It’s called the Seven Year Itch for a reason, and being able to scratch that itch without causing a divorce is a good thing.
While swinging will not fix a bad marriage and will likely finish it off. But, for couples in a stable relationship, it can add spice to a good marriage.
This is Larry Archer signing off till this time next month. Hit me up if you have any questions, or check out my blog at LarryArcher.blog. I’m now on MeWe.com, which is a new uncensored type of FaceBook and uncensored Tumblr combined. My handle is Larry Archer Author or click this link.
MeWe is new but quickly getting their act together. Searching is a little hit or miss, but Google works pretty good, and it’s nice that it’s uncensored and FREE!
such a really good piece, thanks for sharing. I really loved reading it, ave never done it myself, am not in a relationship atm and am single, but I think it sounds amazing and exciting and invigorating too, even for healthy couples who have a totally fine sex life, it kind of adds to it I think. It hs so much going for it and really sounds like it can open you up to so many new things.
Your point about getting together with a single couple is very accurate. That’s mostly what we tried, but finding a couple where the attraction was balanced turned out to be a real problem. I remember one pair we met through the personals – fantastic people and really attractive – where the chemistry between me and the guy was off the charts. On the other hand, the woman wasn’t much interested in my DH (though many women are). So nothing came of this (so to speak); I was quite disappointed!
They did remain our friends. In fact, they came to our wedding!
There have only been a handful of couples that we’ve both been with. That’s one of the nice things is that with a group of friends you can typically find someone that you’re compatible with. My wife doesn’t usually party with a lot of guys, she’s typically more interested in the wife rather than the husband. Since we tend to like the same type of woman, she’ll often take her away from me. But that’s okay as I get to watch and can have sloppy seconds!
Hi Larry
Good article.
My next series will be about a young couple in 1970’s America who move to a new town and discover their neighbours are swingers, so I’ll be asking you lots of questions as part of my research…
I’m curious about how you and wifey got into the Lifestyle.
Was it a conscious decision you both made, was it something you followed up after an unplanned, adventurous night with a couple of friends, or were you both already in the Lifestyle when you first met?
Del
Del,
Short answer is my wife got us into it but it’s a slightly more complicated story. I’ll give you the Cliff Notes version but the full story is too long to post here. I’ll do a post on my blog in the next few days with the full story but here are the highlights.
Some years back in our home town, we have a weekly alternative newspaper and one day I was reading an article about a new bar that was opening in town. The story mentioned that the owners were swingers and they hoped that it would be a popular place for Lifestyle couples.
I asked Foxy if she’d be interested in going and she said she’d give it a try. My wife has always been a contradiction in terms. On one hand, she’s a good Catholic girl but on the other can be the complete opposite. She’s always been somewhat of an exhibitionist and I think the thought of wearing sexy clothes and showing off appealed to her as much or more than sex with strangers. Plus, she’d had a girlfriend in high school and I think missed that action also.
I was a big chicken and never followed through with it. For whatever reason, I kept vacillating about going to the club and while we talked about it, we never did anything.
One night, she went out to a bar on the way home with some people from work. I get a phone call from her and she said that she’d met a couple who were swingers from out of town and was bringing them home. She shows up with this good looking couple and we ended up partying with them. They stayed over at our house and the next night we met some friends of theirs at a bar. As it turns out, they were good friends with people in the largest swinger’s club in town.
Once we met them, then everything took off. Swinging is a kind of underground activity and nobody really appreciates how big it is and how many people are involved. Once you get invited to a party and meet people, you start getting invited to more parties and your little black book quickly runs out of pages. We’ve been involved in clubs across the midwest from Houston to Chicago and places east. It’s kind of a snowball effect and especially easy when you have a wife like mine, who within 30 minutes knows everyone at the party. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she is drop-dead gorgeous and I am so lucky as I married way out of my league.
That’s kind of an off the cuff response and I’ve been thinking about writing how we got started and will try and get something up shortly.
Speaking of swinger’s clubs, the picture attached to the article is Wifey with a girl she met at a convention in Cleveland. The entire hotel was sold out and everyone there was a swinger. Once you got past the lobby, all of the glass doors were blocked out with paper and a guard would not let you in.
Once inside, it was nothing but Lifestyle couples. One night after a dance, I had been with another girl and was out wandering around after midnight. I saw a crowd in the gym and walked in to find my wife lying on an exercise bench buck naked with the other girl in the picture going down on her while probably 30 people watched and abused themselves.
Those two really hit it off and she and her husband traveled from the east coast to attend our New Year’s Eve Pajama Parties. I shot that picture in our bedroom of the two of them. I thought of Del’s upcoming story about a 70’s couple and that reminded me of my wife with her 80’s porn star hair that I love so much.