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Life or Something Like It

by | March 13, 2022 | | 1 Comment

“Life resembles a novel more often than novels resemble life.” – George Sand, French author (1804 – 1876).

There’s a lot of truth in that quote, and it’s probably why so many of us write contemporary fiction. Life is sometimes too bizarre to be believed, and we feel a need to tell people about it. Unfortunately, we usually embellish it with caricatures of the people who populate our world, and that can lead to trouble. I don’t worry about that, because most of the people I know wouldn’t make believable characters in the first place. I like to populate my stories with unique personalities, but some of my friends would push the boundaries of believability.

I ran across a blog that posed the question “Why don’t romance novels get the respect they deserve?” There are a lot of talented writers out there who specialize in one romance genre or another, and many of them have loyal followers. I have a theory about why respect can be elusive, especially when it comes to erotic romance.

Think back a number of years to the paperbacks you typically found in the drugstore that sold for 25 or 50 cents. They were sordid potboilers, with salacious titles and peek-a-boo covers to match. “The Lady is a Lush,” “Housewife Hookers” and “Country Club Wives” are a few actual examples. These were released under imprints from mainstream publishers, but the authors hid behind pseudonyms. They were probably afraid of blowing their credibility once they finished that great American novel they were writing. These books were heavy on sex and soap opera antics, but light on everything else. They were also the precursor to the modern-day erotic romance. People who wrote them were considered inferior by some snobbish types, the ones who secretly read these books when no one was looking.

Apparently, many people still think of “bodice rippers” and Harlequin paperbacks when you mention romance novels. It’s been pointed out that those who trash romances don’t usually read them in the first place. A quote I read claimed that many of these folks brush off the genre as “F*** fiction” and assume that only women read it. I hate to think where that puts me, since I read a lot of romances when I was reviewing books. Many of them wouldn’t qualify as erotica, but there was plenty of steam. The works of Harold Robbins come to mind. His novels may have been classified as adult fiction, but he threw caution to the wind when it came to writing bedroom scenes.

The blog I referenced confirmed that e-book sales for romances outsell every other genre, and I can understand why. When you’re using your Kindle or phone, it’s easy to hide what you’re reading. This comes in handy if the cover features half-naked people doing nasty things. It also explains why a piece of dreck like “50 Shades of Really Bad Writing” became an international bestseller. That fact backed up my opinion that some die-hards will read anything.

The condescending attitude toward romance novels is frustrating for those of us who write mystery thrillers and private eye stories that include romance and sex. I embrace the opportunity to mix some romance into my plots because it makes them more believable. I especially enjoy writing the flirting and teasing parts of the relationships I develop, and using witty, realistic dialogue to make the point.

To me, there’s something fun about creating the magic moment where two people realize that they’re falling for each other. The giddy thrill from imagining that special someone being the first person you see every morning and the last person every night. The companion who is straight out of a beautifully crafted romance story, the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. To show you what I mean, here’s a passage from “Anywhere the Heart Goes” (2010, Extasy Books), a contemporary romance about two people named Rachel and Sam.

“Do you remember what you said once, about how we’d both been hit by a few bad relationships?” Sam asked.

Rachel nodded.

“You were right,” he continued. “At first, I was afraid I was going to get hurt again, then I realized something I hadn’t felt for a long time. I was really more afraid of hurting you.”

“Hurting me how?”

“I was afraid I was starting to like you too much, and if things didn’t work out, you’d get hurt. I didn’t want that to happen to you.”

Rachel had a confused look. “How can you like someone too much?”

Sam took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, deciding it was time to go for broke. “When you get up in the morning thinking of someone and you can’t get them out of your head for the rest of the day. When you’re doing something you enjoy and you wish they were there to share it with you. When you’re with someone else and you keep thinking of the other person. That’s how you can like someone too much.”


Perhaps George Sand was onto something, after all.

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Writing Companion

by | March 6, 2022 | | 4 Comments


By Ashley Lister

 Because of my job, I often end up talking about the benefits of being a writer. I can wax lyrical for days about the joys of making my own hours, sharing my stories with those who want to be entertained, or simply losing myself in my own imagination. But one of the main blessings to my mind is that I get to spend time with this furry bastard.


 This is Oswald. Oswald is a mix-breed, half chihuahua and half Yorkshire terrier. We refer to him as a Chorkie. He’s also disturbingly intelligent. We taught him to swap things he finds for treats. The reasoning was, rather than him picking up potentially dangerous detritus and consuming it, he would give his findings to us, and we can then exchange whatever he’s got for a harmless piece of kibble.

 Oswald took advantage of this quite swiftly. He went scouting around the house for anything that looked like it might be worth exchanging. Socks, receipts found in pockets, envelopes that had been left on desks, general household litter. Once he’d asset-stripped the house he then went outside and swapped half the gravel from the rear of the building for kibble. After that he moved onto leaves, twigs and dead-headed rose hips. He retrieved them from outside, took them to the treat station in the kitchen, and insisted on being paid for his findings at the current kibble exchange-rate.

 But his genius didn’t stop there.

 Whilst my son was visiting we had closed the lounge door so Oswald wasn’t able to get into the room unsupervised. (My son had left a bag in there and Oswald would have been through it like a villain in a heist movie). Oswald kicked and kicked at the door but we ignored him and told him that he wasn’t going into the lounge.

 Oswald went and found a twig. Instead of taking it to the treat station, where he had performed his previous transactions, he dropped the twig at the lounge door and stared up at my son as if to tell him that he would trade this piece of contraband for access to the forbidden room.
 

 To most people this will sound like the ramblings of a dog-owner anthropomorphising a pet and imbuing causation and correlation where there is only coincidence. But for me, as someone who gets to spend so much time at home, seeing this remarkable behaviour is one of the added benefits of being a writer.

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What I’ve Been Reading, or Sex in Context

by | February 26, 2022 | | 2 Comments

Hild

Much has been said here about how “erotica” and “literary fiction” are often closer than is usually acknowledged. Apparently the way to prevent your sexually-explicit story or novel from being put in the “dungeon” (where no one can see it unless they search for it by title) on Amazon is to label it something other than “erotica.”

More often than not, there is a sex scene or two in any current work of “fiction.” This doesn’t mean that writers in various genres are hypocrites who really write erotica without admitting it. It means that writers who set forth to write a plot that isn’t primarily about sex or even the development of a sexual relationship must find ways to integrate the sex into descriptions of other things.

The sex scenes can’t look as if they were copied-and-pasted in from some other imaginary world. If there is some dialogue in a sex scene, it has to be consistent with the speech patterns those characters have already established. The sex can’t be described in a different style from other activities in the same narrative, and terms such as “dick,” “pussy,” etc., can’t be used if they are never used in the culture in which the plot is set.

Issues of social class and culture don’t disappear in sex scenes. Even in extreme ecstasy, characters can’t afford to forget where they are, and how they are expected to interact in more public settings, and what might happen if their secret tryst becomes public knowledge.

Even if the narrative viewpoint is third-person omniscient, the descriptions have to be consistent with the central character’s consciousness. If modern English is used to represent other languages (including archaic forms of English, and Celtic dialects), the implication that the whole thing has been translated has to be consistent throughout the work.

Recently, I finished reading Hild, a 530-page novel set in seventh-century Britain. [The author, Nicola Griffith, is an English expatriate living in the rainy northwest of the U.S.] The central character, who came to be known as St. Hilda of Whitby, was born in about 614 AD in a culture in which small kingdoms were almost constantly at war, and in which the Christian church was making inroads into the traditional worship of Woden.

Hild’s mother, Breguswith (widow of a minor king who died by poison) is both a traditional healer and a shrewd observer of local politics. When she notices that her teenage daughter is growing restless, she advises her to have a sexual relationship with someone who doesn’t “matter,” someone below her in rank. (Hild is the the local king’s niece as well as his “seer,” who can presumably foretell the future.) This liaison would attract the least amount of notice in a culture in which privacy is scarce, and in which Hild could be expected to enter a diplomatic marriage in the near future. Needless to say, she can’t afford to become pregnant yet.

As it happens, Hild has a beautiful, sexually-experienced female slave, a captive of war that Hild bought on impulse because she wanted a companion who couldn’t leave her. Gwladus (Oo-lad-oos) was naked when offered to the highest bidder, and she was openly advertised for sexual purposes. She was clearly relieved when Hild bought her, and she has been Hild’s “bodywoman” (servant) ever since. Hild came to realize that as a property-owner, she had a right to protect her woman from the local warriors, so she stopped one of them from grabbing Gwladus, who is grateful.

Probably on the advice of Breguswith, Gwladus finds Hild in the dairy, and tells her that she needs to “lie down” in the afternoon, in their private room. With surprising confidence, she tells Hild to undress. Here is the following scene:
—————

Her [Gwladus’] lips were soft. Like plums, like rain.

Gwladus put her hand on Hild’s thigh and stoked as though Hild were a restive horse: gently, firmly. Down the big muscles, up the long tight muscle on the inside. Not soothing but. . . she didn’t know what it was.

Stroking, stroking, down along the big muscle on the outside, up along the soft skin inside. Down. Up. Up more. “There,” Gwladus said, “there now.” And Hild wondering if this was how Cygnet [Hild’s horse] felt to be encouraged for the jump. Her heart felt as big as a horse’s, her nostrils wide, her neck straining, but not quite wild, not quite yet. “there,” said Gwladus again, and ran her palm over Hild’s wiry hair to her belly. “Yes,” she said, and rested there, cupping the soft, rounded belly, and then moved down a little, and a little more, and her hand became the centre of Hild’s world. “Oh, yes, my dear.” She kissed Hild again, and Hild opened her legs.

It was nothing like when she did it for herself. It built like James’ [Christian priest’s] music, like the thunder of a running herd, then burst out, like the sudden slide of cream, like a sleeve pulled aside out, and she wanted to laugh and shout and weep, but instead clutched at Gwladus as she juddered and shuddered and clenched.

————-

On a later occasion, Hild tries to return the favour, but Gwladus tells her, “No, lady.” The nuances of the relationship seem somewhat unclear even to Hild. Is seduction the act of a servant, and would giving her pleasure make her even more vulnerable than she already is? Later, Hild is taunted by Cian, the young man with whom she was raised, who tells her that at least he doesn’t have to buy his bed-mates.

Without taking any firm philosophical stand on slavery in general, Hild has Gwladus’ metal collar removed, and she offers to let her former servant return to her home territory. Another close companion has to point out to Hild that Gwladus isn’t showing any desire to leave, so the relationship resumes, more or less as it has been from the beginning.

The author wisely avoids mentioning the ages of Hild or of Gwladus. Considering the cultural distance between modern industrial society and the tribal world of the seventh century, “underage sex”—even girl-to-girl—is probably the least shocking event in the novel. Warfare involving swords and spears is described in gory detail.

Novels like this show that fiction can tackle both sex and violence without being stigmatized for either of these elements, especially if the surrounding culture is scrupulously researched and described in detail.

For those who are interested, Hild is only the first volume of a projected trilogy titled “The Light of the World.” The second volume, Menewood, seems to be complete but not yet published. In the meanwhile, the author has written a shorter novel, Spear, set in the world of King Arthur.

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Covering Your Assets

by | February 21, 2022 | | 5 Comments

All things considered, I much prefer self-publishing to working with a publisher. I like being able to put out books that don’t fit neatly into someone else’s genre pigeon holes. I appreciate not having to fight with an editor, especially about whether the sex I write is too raw or explicit, or whether I can include LGBTQ interactions in what is primarily a heterosexual romance. Given my busy real world schedule, I’m glad I don’t have to write to someone else’s deadlines. That might make me more productive, but at this point, I really don’t need or want the stress. And of course, I’m happy to get a bigger slice of the pie for each book I sell.

For the most part, in my view, self-publishing is a big win. There’s one area, however, where there are pros and cons: the question of covers.

Every book, self-published or not, needs a cover. And both marketing research and personal intuition suggest that the quality of the cover does affect sales. With all the books available, you need a cover that will grab a potential reader’s attention and communicate the essential qualities of your book – all in a fraction of a second before her eyes flit to the next book on the page.

Having a publisher responsible for your covers is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it relieves you of a lot of work and/or expense. On the other, sometimes you have to accept a cover you really don’t like. Most publishers do solicit author input on cover art, but they may have considerations other than the story, related to branding, imprints, series, etc. And I’ve observed (unsurprisingly) that the covers coming out of a particular publisher have some tendency to look alike.

When you self-publish, you have much more control, but you must either purchase a cover (pre-made or custom) or create one yourself. I’ve done both, but I have a pretty limited budget for third-party art. I don’t expect to make a lot of money on my writing (which is more of a beloved avocation than a career), but I don’t want to go into the red. A couple of covers can easily eat up my royalties for a month.

So I’ve been making many of my covers. And I admit, it can be a painful process. I think I have the necessary imagination and artistic perspective, but my practical skills are extremely basic. I also seem to have the devil’s time finding stock photos that satisfy my needs.

Still, I’ve learned a lot in the past few years. Here are a few rules of thumb, based on my observations and experience.

Readability is critical

E-publishing platforms require you to submit a high resolution cover (for instance, 2000×3000 at 300 dpi), but in fact most readers will see your cover as a thumbnail 200 to 300 pixels wide or even smaller. It is essential that they can read the title and the author name, even at this very coarse resolution. It should also be possible to identify the primary images in the cover.

Just for the heck of it, I grabbed the “Trending” covers from the Smashwords home page today.

These thumbnails are only 125 pixels wide (click on the plus at the upper right to see actual size) – and some of the titles are close to illegible. (What’s the title of the middle book? The only really clear words are “in the”! And forget about figuring out who wrote it.)

Readability is influenced by font style, font size, font and background color and contrast. The “busyness” of the cover also has an impact; if there’s too much graphical detail the text can get lost.

You want a cover that’s dramatic, arresting, attention-getting – but readability is more important than any of these. The best way to insure readability is to examine your covers at very low resolution. If you can make out the title and author in an image 200 pixels wide, you’re probably doing okay.

Visually signal genre and story content

Most of us at ERWA write what would be considered “genre fiction”: erotica, erotic romance, romcom, horror, science fiction. Every genre has cover conventions, typical styles and image content used by many books. Chick lit, for instance, tends to use cartoonish drawings in bright colors rather than photo-realistic imagery. This is often true of cozy mysteries as well (though the image content will be different), but not more serious mysteries. Romance covers usually feature photos of the protagonists, often though not always in an embrace. Naked, muscled, headless male torsos are also ubiquitous.

Here’s a quick screen capture from my romance publisher, Totally Bound.

The color schemes often signal the sub-genre, with darker shades for suspense or paranormal. For some reason romance covers also often have a lot of background detail as well. It’s very common to have an image of the setting, whether it’s a city skyline or a windswept prairie, behind the central figures.

Erotica covers, of course, tend to push the envelope, focusing in on seductive body parts as much as on faces. The covers are intended to arouse the reader, hopefully without attracting the scrutiny of the censors.

If you are creating your own covers, you need to decide how closely you will follow the current trends. You want readers to be able to identify what sort of story you’ve written, but you don’t want your cover to blend into the crowd.

This is a tough guideline for me to follow. First, many of my books don’t fit neatly into a single genre. A lot of my work straddles the fuzzy line between erotic romance and erotica. I also work in many secondary genres: sci fi, steam punk, paranormal, and so on. I struggle to create covers that capture the essence of my titles.

Sometimes it may be more important to you to convey the tone of the book than the genre. I recently published a new edition of my M/M paranormal erotic romance Necessary Madness. Although this novel is definitely romance, in the sense that it focuses on a single developing relationship (and even ends with a wedding), its a rather dark book that includes some very intense episodes: horrific visions of disasters, scenes set in a psychiatric hospital, and satanic rituals.

Here is the original cover, from Totally Bound, a very traditional romance cover, without much indication of the paranormal sub-genre. (I should say that I was able to choose the images of the heroes as part of this design.)

Here’s the new cover I created. I’ve focused much more on the paranormal aspect here. There’s even an echo of horror, which in fact is fitting to the story. I don’t even include an image of the second hero.

I don’t know which cover is better, but they definitely send out different signals.

Be distinctive and original – but not too subtle

Those of you who’ve known me for a while are quite familiar with my contrarian tendencies. Hence I’m more likely than not to stray away from the genre norms in choosing or creating my covers. Sometimes, though, it’s possible to be too subtle.

Here’s a cover I adore, for the first edition (2016) of The Gazillionaire and the Virgin, created for me by Willsin Rowe.

This is pure BDSM romance, sweet as well as hot, which turns the Fifty Shades of Grey stereotype on its head. Willsin deliberately designed this to visually echo the original Fifty Shades cover, with the gray necktie.

I thought this idea was brilliant. However, in retrospect, I doubt anyone else noticed.

In contrast, here’s the cover I did for the second edition, which was released on Valentine’s Day.

This cover screams erotic romance (at least to me). Furthermore, even though there’s not a handcuff or riding crop to be seen, I think (or at least hope) that the positions of the man and woman, and their expressions, suggest a power exchange relationship.

Series covers need a visual theme

For most of my writing career, I wrote standalone titles. I honestly couldn’t imagine writing a series; when I finished a story, it felt complete and I didn’t have any ideas for follow-on books.

A few years ago, that somehow changed. I found myself typing “The End”, then almost immediately starting to dream up new situations and characters in the same fictional world. My longest series so far, Vegas Babes, includes five books (and I have some rough ideas for a sixth, if I can ever find the time to write it).

If possible, the covers in a series should have some similar elements, to communicate the fact that this is somehow a connected set of titles. However, when I wrote the first Vegas Babes book, Hot Brides in Vegas, I didn’t realize this would be a series. Hence I had to adapt the later covers to the mood and visual theme of the first book cover: mostly blank background, beautiful women, and a specific set of fonts.

Of course, one advantage of self-publishing is that you’re never stuck with a particular cover. It’s fast and easy to change the cover on Amazon or Smashwords. (Good thing, too, because sometimes the censors will force you to make a switch!) Still, retrofitting a cover to match a series theme isn’t a trivial effort.

When I started The Toymakers Guild, I had a three-book series in mind. Here are the first two covers. Much more similar than the Vegas Babes, but I’ve actually had considerable difficulty finding appropriate foreground figures. I still haven’t located a woman for the third cover (though that won’t be an issue for a while!)

For erotica, expression is more important than bodies

Since most of you write erotica, I’ll end with this guideline. This is purely a personal belief. I do not have any evidence to support it. However, for me, sexy bodies or poses do nothing to excite my interest unless they’re accompanied by a genuinely provocative or aroused expression on the part of the models.

Here are a couple of my favorite covers by other members of ERWA.

I love both of these because of the emotions I read in the women’s faces. In the Hired Help cover, the woman is believably transported by lust. At the same time, there’s an aloofness that matches the character in the story.

The main character in the Nina cover has a more ambiguous look. She’s not sure what she’s getting into – but she thinks she likes it!

In my view, if your cover characters look aroused, your readers will be, too.

 

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Re-introductions And Musings On Tomorrow

by | February 18, 2022 | | 2 Comments

So. What’s new with you?

Once upon a time, back in the pre-historic days of dial-up internet connections, installing AOL from a DVD sent in the mail, and dot-matrix printers that worked only slightly more quickly than hammer and chisel on stone, Yours Truly used to give vent to what got me All Worked Up in a monthly column of that title right here on ERWA. You’re welcome to look through the archives if you’d care to follow my long, slow descent into madness and depravity.

This was back in the first decade of the century, during the moron-o-cratic Dynastic Age of Dubya II, the Dim-witted or, as I look back upon them now, the Good Old Days.
Since then, I’ve mostly stayed on the sidelines; simply observing, making notes, noticing trends, and otherwise just manning my post on the watchtower. However, like an obnoxious relative or an annoying skin rash, sometimes I’ve just gotta flare up again and cause an irritation to stay in practice.

So, what’s got me All Worked Up these days? Nothing less than the idea of sex and the possible end of civilization as we know it. How’s that for a conversation starter?

Being a student of the social sciences, I’m drawn to the study of utopias and dystopias; concepts of perfect or idealized societies and their antitheses; apocalyptic, catastrophic breakdowns of civilizations into chaotic, nightmarish hellscapes. Think “The Jetsons,” where George’s vehicle becomes a suitcase, versus “Mad Max: Glory Road,” where Max’s vehicle is a damned tank.

Not that the end of the world hasn’t been on peoples’ minds lately. Sometimes it feels like we’re all living in a cosplay scenario combining elements of The Stand, V for Vendetta, and Idiocracy. One pictures three ominous-looking Horsemen visible on the horizon, watching..waiting. One turns to the other two and says, “Where the Hell is Pestilence? We’re on a schedule here!”

“He had trouble getting a sitter, War. He’s on his way.”

Global economic crises. A global pandemic. Threats of clashes between the capitalistic exploiters of wealth versus the socialistic terrorists of redistribution. Violent authoritarian movements. Potential new shooting wars, between and within nations and alliances. And, oh yeah, global climate change not only wreaking havoc with the world of today, but also being seen as an omen of what could be one more mass extinction of most of the life on Earth. The frightening rate at which bees are vanishing these days. Bees! The most important living beings on this planet are bees, and they are DYING. If this isn’t apocalyptic, I don’t know what is.

Have I missed anything? If so, please don’t remind me. I’m depressed enough already.

Of course, no picture of the World of The Future would be complete without a snapshot of the World of The Future of Sex. Usually, these pictures are found in the dystopian societies, and sex in these societies is not pretty.

Picture Gilead in Margaret Atwood’s masterpiece, The Handmaid’s Tale, where fertile women are reduced to being baby machines in a Christianity-based theocratic dictatorship. Think of Oceania in Orwell’s 1984, where the protagonist Winston Smith’s ejaculation into his unauthorized girlfriend’s pussy—the very act of sex itself–constituted a “sexcrime” – a literal offense against The State.

The secret to creating a realistic dystopian hellscape is not a matter of inventing a new and unforeseen threat to society. It’s much more effective to simply take a current element of modern society and seeing it through to its logical conclusion.

Getting back to my previous examples, George Orwell wasn’t inventing the world of 1984 out of the whole cloth; he was using as a basis his experiences fighting Fascists in Spain and seeing the inevitable results of life in autocratic societies at that time, such as in Nazi Germany and the U.S.S.R. Ms. Atwood has repeatedly said her inspiration for life in Gilead of the future was reading contemporary stories about life and philosophies among the American Religious Right of today.

So, as I myself contemplate the future of society, inevitably my thoughts turn to the future of sex in society, also as seen through today’s lens. And today happens to be a time of potentially monumental change in how we see ourselves and each other; more so, I honestly believe, than at any other time in literally generations. Somebody, somewhere is looking at today’s sexual culture and stepping into the roles of the likes of Margaret Atwood or George Orwell or Thomas More or even Gene Roddenberry. Could an idealized futuristic society be found in the online annals of “Star Trek” erotic fan-fiction?

You might ask, “What do YOU see in YOUR crystal ball, J.T.? What will be the nature of sex and society after this critical juncture in history?”

I’m glad you asked. First, I think the distinction between a sexual utopia and a sexual dystopia is entirely subjective. I might be horrified that Offred, the protagonist in The Handmaid’s Tale is treated as a piece of property; as a broodmare. On the other hand, somebody somewhere might actually see Gilead, an autocratic theocracy with rigid gender roles and strict conformity to societal norms, and say, “Hmmm. Not a bad idea.” On the other other hand, if someone’s image of dystopia is a sexual free-for-all where consenting adults go at it like something out of a Dionysian tapestry as conceived of by Larry Flynt, someone else, (myself included), might say, “Sign me up.”

Secondly, one of the annoying things about monumental turning points in history is that the aftermath of such turning points is always impossible to predict. After V-J Day in 1945, could anyone have imagined the Cold War? The rise and fall of the Soviet Union? Rock and Roll? The Pill? Playboy Magazine? The internet? Nude selfies, revenge porn, HIV-AIDS, and Swingstock? Purveying and consuming porn through little hand-held devices that also tell time, connect us with “social media,” distract us with wordgames and even allow us to make phone calls?

Of course, the future typically means progress. And progress has been made. Not very long ago, the acceptance of homosexuality in open society, let alone same sex marriage, was simply inconceivable. The roles of women, of teenagers, and people of trans-gender and gender-fluid sexualities have greatly expanded, to mention a few examples. However, progress also usually means, “two steps forward, one step back.” Reactionaries fight to control women’s uteruses and cruel, bigoted parents demand laws trying to brand certain schoolchildren as perverts for wanting to use a different school restroom than the one they’re expected to use.

Getting onto my soapbox here, I think it’s safe to say that sex in the future will be very much like sex of today. Some people pursue an expansion of sexual mores and principles, some pursue a retraction, and both sides see their own efforts as the ones making the world better. A thesis is presented, which is responded to by an antithesis, or counter-thesis, and through the blending of the two, a “synthesis” is reached. In theory, anyway.

So, as I gaze into the future, my visions aided by some killer ganja called “Sumo Grande” and some “Mormon Girlz” videos on PornHub, (yes, that’s a thing. I refer to them for….uh…research purposes), what gazes back at me? What do I see in store? What will be the synthesis of the conflicts through which we write, read, and live every day? What will the sex of tomorrow be like?

I have no idea. Not a fucking clue.

What do you see?

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Read These at Your Own Risk

by | February 13, 2022 | | 2 Comments

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading — Isaac Asimov

Writers of erotic romance must deal with the possibility of their work being banned at some point. Some of what we write isn’t appropriate for certain age groups, or our material may rub religious readers the wrong way. I make the content clear to customers when working book festivals and author signings. Better to lose one sale than ten potential readers because someone got offended by my books and trashed me to their friends.

I recently ran across a magazine from 1984, and it contained an article titled “The Dirty Thirty.” It listed 30 books that were the most frequently censored titles in high school libraries at the time. Most of the objections focused on alleged obscenity, but some of the philosophical and political ideas being presented were also considered unpopular. When I attended high school and college in the ‘70s, most of these so-called inappropriate books were required reading.

John Steinbeck is regarded as one of America’s pre-eminent authors, but two of his novels—“The Grapes of Wrath” and “Of Mice and Men”—consistently get banned for racial slurs, stereotypes, and obscene language. Mark Twain made the ’84 list with “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” along with Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse Five,” J.D. Salinger’s “Catcher in the Rye,” Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and Hemingway’s “A Farewell to Arms.” I once had to write a book report on “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson, and Dalton Trumbo’s “Johnny Got His Gun” was recommended by my civics teacher for its anti-war theme. Yet there they both were, on the naughty list.

What books currently have the Puritan’s panties in a twist? Here’s the Hot 21, as compiled by the American Library Association, along with the reasons why they were banned. I was surprised to discover that some of the same books were still making the cut (no pun intended). As you scan the list, you’ll see some themes emerging.

“George” by Alex Gino (LGBTQ content and a transgender character).

“Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You” by Ibram X. Kendi and Jason Reynolds (for the author’s public statements concerning racism, and claims that the book contains ‘selective storytelling incidents,’ whatever that means)

“All American Boys” by Jason Reynolds and Brendan Kiely (profanity, drug use, alcoholism, and promoting anti-police views.)

“Speak” by Laurie Halse Anderson (contains a political viewpoint that is biased against male students, and includes rape and profanity)

“Something Happened in Our Town: A Child’s Story About Racial Injustice” by Marianne Celano, Marietta Collins, and Ann Hazzard (divisive language and promoting anti-police views)

“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee (perennially cited for “racial slurs and their negative effect on students, featuring a ‘white savior’ character, and its perception of the Black experience.”)

“Of Mice and Men” by John Steinbeck (racial slurs and stereotypes, and their negative effect on students)

“The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison (considered to be sexually explicit and depicts child sexual abuse)

“The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas (profanity, and promoting an anti-police message)

“Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out” by Susan Kuklin (LGBTQ content, the effect on any young people who would read it, and being sexually explicit)

“A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo” by Jill Twiss. This one and the next title, “Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings, and You” by Cory Silverberg, shared the banning distinctions of “LGBTQ content, political viewpoints, themes that are ‘designed to pollute the morals of its readers,’ not including a content warning, and discussing gender identity and sex education.” Makes you wonder if the authors did anything right.

“Prince & Knight” by Daniel Haack (for “Featuring a gay marriage, LGBTQ content, and being a deliberate attempt to indoctrinate young children with the potential to cause confusion, curiosity, and gender dysphoria.” Wow!)

“I Am Jazz” by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings (LGBTQ content, a transgender character, and confronting a topic that is ‘sensitive, controversial, and politically charged.’)

“The Handmaid’s Tale” by Margaret Atwood (profanity, vulgarity and sexual overtones)

“Drama” by Raina Telgemeier (for “LGBTQ content and concerns that it goes against family values/morals.”)

The “Harry Potter” series by J.K. Rowling (“For referring to magic and witchcraft, containing actual curses and spells, and for characters that use nefarious means to attain goals.”)

“And Tango Makes Three” by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson (LGBTQ content)

The “Captain Underpants” series, written and illustrated by Dav Pilkey (“The series was challenged because it was perceived as encouraging disruptive behavior, while ‘Captain Underpants and the Sensational Saga of Sir Stinks-A-Lot’ includes a same-sex couple.”)

“Thirteen Reasons Why” by Jay Asheri (for addressing teen suicide)

“This One Summer” by Mariko Tamaki (“Profanity, sexual references, and certain illustrations.”)

Full disclosure: I’m not in favor of censorship, but I realize there are situations where limiting a young person’s access to certain books is best. However, the reason given for compiling this list in the first place really confused me: “Because schools and libraries should not put books in a child’s hands that require discussion.”

Isn’t that the point of getting an education in the first place?

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The Bleeding Keyboard

by | February 6, 2022 | , | 2 Comments


By Ashley Lister

Hemingway is reported to have said, “Writing is easy. All you do is sit down in front of a typewriter and bleed.” It’s because of this quote that I’ve called my current project ‘The Bleeding Keyboard’.

As some of you already know: I lecture in creative writing. One of the things I want to give to my students is the full experience of hearing from a range of writers. I believe I can impart a substantial amount of wisdom, but I also know that I’m limited to the writing experience of one person. If I can expose my students to the voices of other writers, they might find familiarity, comfort or confirmation from a voice or style that I was unable to convey.

Which is why I’m currently interviewing a range of writers, from a wide selection of genres, to get their views on certain aspects of fiction – an action which follows on from Tim Smith’s excellent piece last month.

If there are any writers reading this, and you wouldn’t mind chatting with me for half an hour, then please get in touch and we’ll organise an interview. I’m asking a range of questions but one that I think is important to ask of every writer is the following:

What piece of writing advice would you give to anyone just starting out?

I’m looking forward to hearing the answers on this one. I’ve already spoken with writers who advocate perseverance and self-belief, but I’ve also spoken with those who insist a sound knowledge of story, genre and the craft of writing are essential. Admittedly, there was Dorothy Parker’s advice whish said, “If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favour you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

My own response to this would be similar to the idea of self-belief, but I think it needs to be shaped into something more specific. It’s not enough to believe in ourselves as writers: we also need to have a firm conviction that the story we’re telling is worthy of being told. Don’t waste time writing fiction that doesn’t excite or interest you. Write stories that inspire, arouse or thrill. Write stories you’re proud to have associated with your name.

But that’s just my response to this question. Asking all the writers who read this blog post, I’d love to know: what piece of writing advice would you give to anyone just starting out?

Answers in the comments box below, please.

Ash

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An Insane Plan

by | January 21, 2022 | | 1 Comment

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

My husband always tells me that I need to learn not to over-commit. After forty years together with me, he knows very well how hard it is for me to dial back my goals to realistic levels. For example, I can’t seem to resist volunteering for a task when it’s needed, especially when I know I can do a better job than most people. I try to keep my promises realistic, but I’m fundamentally an optimist. Even when I have a long to-do list, I figure I can slip in another task or two without any negative effects.

So, during January, I’ve promised my readers to release four books, all paranormal, all at the intro price of 99 cents. This is a total of about 150K words.

Just to be clear, I don’t have to write these books. They’re all titles that have become unavailable, either because of a publisher’s closing or my deliberately reclaiming the rights. Still, self-publishing isn’t an instant process. I have to reformat each manuscript to the style template I use, and of course I do editing on the way. For books that were previously with my British publisher, I often need to change the dialect from UK to US English. In many cases, I need to replace the blurb and excerpt at the end (“If you liked X, you might also enjoy Y”) to use a more recent book, or one that is in fact still available.

Next, I have to consider the question of covers. In two of the four cases, I like the old covers too much to change them, even though that might help sales. For one book, I’ve bought a pre-made cover. The longest and most challenging volume, though, a 50K paranormal erotic romance novel, has a new title, and I wanted a new look. So I’ve spent hours futzing around with Gimp and CorelDraw, trying to create something that looks half-decent. It was really depressing when one of my cover artist friends told me my cover was a mess and that the font which I loved so much “sort of says 50’s tiki bar flier” to him. I didn’t agree, and kept the font, but I spent more hours trying to clean up the worst flaws in the images. (In all fairness, it’s the most complex cover I’ve ever attempted, a combination of three different images.)

Then there’s writing the blurb, picking out the keywords, creating a media kit with excerpts and so on, tracking down the buy links as they appear and saving them in the media kit, sending the kit out to bloggers, announcing the release on my own blog and to my email list… assuming Amazon doesn’t kick my book to the curb for keyword violations or some other such silliness!

Meanwhile, I’m working full time. I am still adapting to the new job I started last October, which may well be the most demanding position I’ve ever had – especially since I’m at least twenty years older than most of my colleagues. Some days I don’t even have time to check my Lisabet email.

Am I insane? Probably – but in fact, I’ve managed to put three of the four books out there (the latest hitting the virtual shelves next Wednesday) and probably will do the final one, a 15K short with the pre-made cover, this weekend. So maybe I’ll succeed after all.

Hubby will say this is just going to encourage more insanity. I’m sure he’s right.

I’m a strong believer in keeping all of my work “in print” if I can. Given how long it takes me to write something, there’s no way I want to let it languish unread (and unpurchased). Alas, I still have a significant backlog of books that are temporarily not for sale, including a couple of my best sellers.

Looks like next month is going to be packed with releases, too.

Yeah, crazy, I know. But I do so love to see my books, my babies, out where people can get at them.

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Your Best and Worst Writing Advice

by | January 13, 2022 | | 2 Comments

This month signals the start of a new year, and that brings along new beginnings and reboots. Also renewed work projects that weren’t finished by the end of last year. To get into that spirit, I thought it would be fun for us to share some of the best—and worst—advice on writing we’ve gotten. I’ll start with the best.

Early in my career, when I was collecting enough rejection letters to paper a conference room, one acquisitions editor actually took the time to make some constructive suggestions. The best was that whenever I introduce a new character, no matter how minor, I should include at least a brief physical description to help the reader form a mental picture. I’ve used that ever since.

She also noted that my book (a spy thriller with a romantic subplot) seemed to lack focus. She suggested that I decide which aspect I wanted to feature and concentrate on that. Fortunately, I found a way to achieve the kind of balance I wanted, but it was still good advice that I keep in mind. Know your audience.

An editor I worked with early on really got after me about point of view. She complained that after reading parts of my story, she was dizzy from all the head-hopping I had done. She told me to put myself inside the character and write the scene as though I was looking through their eyes. More excellent advice.

Another editor suggested that I choose some of my words more carefully, because she felt I was trying to prove that I had memorized Roget’s Thesaurus. Ouch! Ever since then I’ve settled for plain everyday language whenever possible. It reminded me how much it bugs me when a writer uses a word or phrase that sends me on a Google search.

Since we’re on language, this same editor (the one I request for each new book) commented on the fact that when I use characters of different ethnic origins (Latino, Italian, etc.), I have them speak a few words or phrases in their native tongue to make the characters more realistic. I always research these carefully so I’m using the right ones. She told me I need to reference the words in a subsequent sentence to explain what they mean, since not everyone is fluent in that language.

Now that I’ve shared some of the best, it’s time to visit the flip side.

I once attended a book signing event near Chicago, where I had been invited to participate in a panel discussion for aspiring writers. One of the local authors (who shall remain anonymous because I think he’s a pretentious boor) was apparently successful with a series of private eye adventures. He had just signed with a New York publisher. I remember this because in every sentence he uttered, even when he was responding to a question, he felt compelled to insert the proclamation “And I just got a five-figure advance from a major publisher!”

Want to know what his only bit of advice was? “Whatever you do, before you submit your manuscript, be sure it’s completed.” Gee, Joe, I think we could’ve figured that out on our own! And no, I’ve never read any of his books, nor am I likely to.

Marketing is another area where what works for one person isn’t necessarily universal. I’ve had several authors rave about the benefits they got from advertising in trade magazines or on certain retail sites. I tried copying what they did, and only ended up spending a lot of money with no return. Again, I think it comes down to knowing your target audience and where to find them.

Some of the advice I’ve received had to be taken lightly. After my first spy adventure came out, a friend actually suggested (with a straight face) that I might sell more books if I changed my name to Tim Clancey. In hindsight, a change of name might have been beneficial, but I’m sure someone would have noticed the difference.

What has been the best or worst writing advice you’ve received?

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Happy New Year: now write properly

by | January 6, 2022 | | 6 Comments


By Ashley Lister

Not only is this a time for celebrating and overindulging, it’s also time for me to issue an annual reminder for how to improve your writing.

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, when I’m not blogging for ERWA, or writing stories that amuse me and my modest readership, I lecture in creative writing. Around this time of year I end up doing a lot of marking and I’m repeatedly struck by the common errors that are made in student submissions.

This is a list of my top four bugbears.

1. Apostrophes.
There are two reasons for using an apostrophe: to show omission and to show possession. Apostrophes of omission are the ones we find in words like they’re, don’t and we’ll. Apostrophes of possession are the ones that show ownership, as in the boy’s books, or the girl’s guns. Apostrophes of possession become potentially confusing when we deal with plurals but it’s not really quantum physics. If we’re looking at books belonging to several boys, the apostrophe goes after the pluralising s (i.e. the boys’ books). If we’re looking at guns belonging to several girls, the same rule applies as before and we write the girls’ guns.

2. Run-on Sentences
Somewhat ironically, this is the definition of a run-on sentence from Wikipedia: “A run-on is a sentence in which two or more independent clauses are joined without appropriate punctuation or conjunction, and this is generally considered a stylistic error, though it is occasionally used in literature and may be used as a rhetorical device, and an example of a run-on is a comma splice, in which two independent clauses are joined with a comma without an accompanying coordinating conjunction, and some prescriptivists exclude comma splices from the definition of a run-on sentence, but this does not imply that they consider comma splices to be acceptable.”
Admittedly, run-on sentences can suggest an unconventional mindset, or give an idea of stream of consciousness writing that reflects the reality of our chaotic mindset. However, unless they’re being used to create a specific effect, sentences should be used to express a single thought with clarity and concision. Anything else is going to drag a reader out of the narrative.

3. Dialogue Formatting
In short: start a new paragraph for each speaker and keep all reported speech and punctuation within speech marks. For a lengthier overview of dialogue this link to a MasterClass article might be helpful. 

4. Proofreading
Typos are inescapable. We all make occasional mistakes or suffer at the helpful hands of autocorrect. But printed typos will only ever bite you in the arse and the best way to eradicate them is to thoroughly proofread everything prior to hitting the metaphorical SEND button. This is not my way of saying everything needs to be perfect and typo-free. I’m the last person in the world who could argue for that. But the fewer mistakes on the page, the easier a text is to read. This is a link to one of my favourite poems on the subject of proofreading. 


Reading over this I realise I’m starting 2022 in a grumpy mood, which is probably not a bad thing. The last couple of years have been difficult for all of us and I hope this one finally gives us the respite from tension and stress that we all deserve. Happy New Year xxx

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