I’m Afraid to Come Out of the Closet!

by | February 24, 2019 | Writing This Novel | 1 comment

About a week ago, I released my latest box set, Swinger’s Box Set, for pre-order on Amazon. Who! Hoo! Then the very next day Amazon kicked me in the cojones and threw me into the dungeon. One Day, people!

Lisabet was right, and my original cover crossed the line for Zon. Why I asked myself? Everyone was pretty much dressed and in the bathroom, the cleanest place in the house. Surely, nothing nasty ever goes on in the bathroom?

Quickly, I reworked my cover with a more bland and non-threatening image. After resubmitting, my rating was switched to “Safe” within a couple of hours.

It was almost as if someone was sitting at their keyboard, ready to click Safe as they waited for my submission and give me absolution for my previous sins.

Up, Down, Yes, No! was I in some type of manic state where one day everyone is out to get me and the next its Mom and apple pie? Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they’re not out to get you.

Then to top it off, the big guy upstairs, no not Trump, but the big, big guy throws Sin City into the freezer. For the first time in ten years, its snowed in Las Vegas and two days in a row.

The girls all abandoned their short skirts and switched to pants as the weather hovered in the thirties with a serious wind chill. Instant downer!

I turned to Fox News and confirmed that global warming was, in fact, a hoax and fake news, but even after showing the outside world the news on my laptop, it still hasn’t warmed up. Confused and upset I’ve retreated to the comfort of my desktop as the warming glow of my twin monitors is likely giving me measles, brain cancer, or berry berry.

As you’ve likely read about, recent changes in regulations have caused problems with the porn industry and erotica in general. First, Tumblr was purchased by a goody two shoes company who felt that nudity and sex had no place in their organization. A large number of blogs in Tumblr instantly were censored and yanked. No longer are you able to see pictures of your next door neighbor’s wife with the milkman.

Then the thought police in Washington tweaked the rules making companies who hosted sites that exposed the naughty bits to be responsible for the content posted by their downstream sites.

Fearing the loss of their licenses, more and more web hosting sites are clamping down on perverts like me. I’m going to have to stop wearing my raincoat to better blend in with my local elected officials.

Over the last few weeks, it seems that many of the blogs dedicated to authors of erotic material have sprouted numerous messages about censorship and the big thumb of the government pressing down on erotic author’s collective necks.

One of my favorite quotes is from Larry Flynt of Hustler magazine, “Freedom of speech doesn’t protect speech you like, it protects speech you don’t like.”

As the walls continue to close around authors of smut, like when Luke, Princess Leia, and crew were in the trash compactor, while movie watchers were trying to confirm that Princess Leia was, in fact, braless in the movie, we must not give up the fight.

 

Larry Archer

Larry Archer is an author of explicit erotica stories, primarily stroke material but with a plot (I'd like to think). I write about swingers, girl-on-girl, cuckold/Hotwife couples, strip clubs, some BDSM, and everything bareback in a light-hearted humorous style. I've been writing smut for a little over five years and think I have a decent aptitude for it. Wifey and I are in "The Lifestyle" and use our adventures as a basis for a lot of the stories I have written. My motto is "Erotica from the dirty mind of Larry Archer," which pretty much says it all. I enjoy writing dirty smut stories, which are full of people doing things to each other that are probably against the law somewhere. My audience also includes a lot of women, which has always surprised me as I consider my porn more for guys. But it seems that a lot of women like stories about consensual no strings attached (NSA) sex, which are always HEA. My erotica is basically written in a realistic escapism style, which allows you to fantasize about scenes, which most people will never experience. While somewhat extreme at times, the storyline is never so far-fetched that you can't imagine it actually happening, especially with people we know. A lot of my stories revolve around a swinger couple, who owns a strip club in Vegas and sound suspiciously like us! While the choice to write ourselves into our stories, was probably a poor decision at the time, I initially started out writing about our life experiences and our alter egos, Foxy and Larry, took on a life of their own. I typically write Novellas or stories in the 20 to 60,000-word category. My writing style is like that of Stephen King, where I turn the characters lose between my ears and just write down what they do, as the story plays out in my mind. I'm just a scribe who stands in the background and copies everything down that the perverts say and do while trying not to get anything splashed on my keyboard. Probably different from a lot of writers, I do not have an English or Literature background. My training is in engineering and computer programming, which if you know engineers you realize that we struggle with proper English. But I'd like to think that my stories are reasonably well put together and readable. I've published 20 stories to date, which have all been typically 4-5 star rated. I self-publish and do all my own covers, so I'm a one-stop shop, with nobody to blame but myself. I publish on Amazon, SmashWords, Excessica, Apple, B&N, Kobo, Excitica, as well as a number of others. Visit me at LarryArcher.blog to contact me or learn more about my stories here LarryArcher.blog/stories.

1 Comment

  1. Lisabet Sarai

    Trousers instead of mini-skirts! Talk about disaster…

    I applaud your humor. If we take this too seriously, we’ll go crazy (too). On the other hand, neither you nor I are trying to make our livings out of erotica. My heart aches for people (including friends) for whom smut is their full-time job.

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