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Ashley Lister

Writing Exercise

by | March 6, 2014 | | 9 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 Since we started looking at poetry as a writing exercise we’ve
considered various syllable forms. The most famous of these is the haiku, usually
interpreted in Western writing as three lines containing 5-7-5 syllables.

As I’ve said before, I enjoy the discipline of syllable forms
because it forces us to approach words from a different angle. We’re counting
syllables as well as considering the perceived denotations and connotations of potential
synonyms.

There are other variations on this syllable-counting theme.
One of the more popular is the tanka.

The tanka is similar to the haiku except it’s longer in that
it’s usually five lines and interpreted as 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. Given that it’s
almost double the length of the haiku, the tanka can still be surprisingly
restrictive.

However, this month’s form is not the 5-7-5-7-7 syllable tanka.
This month we’re looking at the somonka.

The somonka is made up of two tanka-sized stanzas presented as
an exchange of love letters.


Note to my master
I come to you on my knees
Ready and willing
My bare flesh is yours tonight
Do with me as you see fit


To my submissive
Thank you for your love letter
It was not needed
Your bare flesh is mine tonight
But only if I want it

Does that look simple enough? Two tank-sized stanzas (5-7-5-7-7
syllables) presented as an exchange of love letters. I look forward to seeing
your somonkas in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise

by | February 6, 2014 | | 3 Comments

 By Ashley Lister

 In the drinking-well
(Which the plumber built her)
Aunt Eliza fell,
We must buy a filter.

Col D Streamer,
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes

The original Ruthless Rhymes (Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes or check out the ruthless
rhymes web page) were written by Col D Streamer, pen name of Harry Graham.
These were published in the early 1900s at a time when dark and sinister humour
was prevalent in the pages of published works. Graham is also the name most
commonly associated with the poetry phenomena of Little Willies. Little Willies
are poems that catalogue the dark catastrophes and grim activities surrounding
the eponymous Little Willie.


Little Willie from his mirror
Sucked the mercury all off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure his whooping-cough.


At the funeral, Willie’s mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
”T was a chilly day for William
When the mercury went down.”

Samuel Reynolds Hole
A Little Tour in America

Poetry pages soon became replete with Little Willies,
produced by a broad variety of authors and written to varying degrees of
success. These set a precedent that paved the way for the line drawings and memorable
couplets of Edward Gorey with works such as his delightfully deviant Gashlycrumb Tinies.


A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil assaulted by bears…

Edward Gorey
Gashlycrumb Tinies

What does any of this have to do with writing erotica? Well,
that’s your exercise for this month. Produce quatrains or couplets that are
delightfully deviant. Write something that blunders into rhyme and tells a cold
and brutal story in the shortest and most simplistic manner. Dare to be vulgar
and write something about little willies.

They climbed the hilltop just to have sex
Did the nursery rhyme Jackie and Jilly
But she pushed him down and made him her ex
Disappointed by his little willy.

I won’t write any more here this month. I’ll simply end by asking
you to share your little willies in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise

by | January 6, 2014 | | 7 Comments

By Ashley Lister

Happy New Year. In a bid to keep things lively around here, I’ve decided to alternate each month of 2014 with a writing exercise one month and a poetry exercise the next month. This month we’re looking at one of my favourite writing exercises: the swiftie.

Tom Swift was the central character in a series of books produced between 1910 and 1933, the majority of which were attributed to author Victor Appleton.  One of the characteristic (and much parodied) features of the narrative in these stories was the speech attribution. These attributions, usually adverbial, have become the source of an entertaining parlour game where the attributive adverb has to be humourlessly linked to the content of the sentence, usually with a pun.

“We must hurry,” said Tom swiftly.
“I’m working as a security officer,” she said guardedly.
“I have a cold,” he said icily.
“Do you want to see my pussy?” she purred.
“But I asked for a cabernet sauvignon,” Tom whined.
“I was just looking at pictures of my mother,” Oedipus ejaculated.

Take a shot at producing a small handful of your own swifties in the comments box below. It goes without saying that these swifties are entertaining as a writing exercise, and a great way for warming up your pen hand and getting words on the page, but they should not enter into serious attempts at fiction unless you’re determined to stop your readers from enjoying your work.

Writing Exercise – The Minute Poem

by | December 6, 2013 | | 9 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 The Minute Poem is a form that follows an 8, 4, 4, 4 syllable count
structure. It usually has 3 stanzas that are exactly the same: 8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4 , 4, 4 syllables.

A traditional Minute Poem has 12 lines in total. It is written in a
strict iambic meter. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff.

In this traditional example I’ve included both the rhyme scheme (aabb,
ccdd, eeff) and the syllable count (8,4,4,4 for each stanza).

You come to me in saucy mood

You’re feeling rude

You want my dick

You want it quick

At first we cuddle, then we kiss

It feels like bliss

Our passions soar

We both want more

It’s all over too fast for you

What can I do?

Speed’s in my plan:

the minute man

Alternatively, there’s also a non-traditional minute poem. This adaptation
doesn’t have to rhyme but it should follow the established syllable count.

Our naked bodies give shared warmth

they entertain

arouse, inspire

and so much more

We’ve been together for so long

It feels just like

eternity

but I want more

As long as our shared pleasures please

I’ll always try

to be with you

and give you more

As always, I look forward to seeing your poems in the comments box
below. 

Writing Exercise

by | November 6, 2013 | | 12 Comments

Writing Exercise – the rondeau

 By Ashley Lister

 This month I wanted to work with the rondeau. The reason why
I wanted to tackle the rondeau this month is because arguably the most famous
example of the rondeau is ‘In Flanders Fields’ by Canadian army physician, and
poet, Lieutenant John McCrae. ‘In Flanders Fields’ is a poem we hear often
during this month of remembrance and it seemed apposite to consider the
structure that supports this great work.  

The rondeau is a
form of French poetry with 15 lines and a fixed, distinctive rhyme scheme.  The rondeau also makes use of refrains, which
are repeated according to the stylized pattern.

The rhyme scheme for the rondeau is: a a b b a  a a b C  a a b b a C, where a and b are the end
rhymes and C is the refrain. 

Technically each line of the rondeau should consist of eight
syllables (except for the refrains which are half lines of four syllables).  Ideally, the poem should be laid out in three
stanzas and the refrain should be identical to the beginning of the first line.

All of which is easier to illustrate with an example.

I slash the strap across your back

And thrill to hear the brisk wet smack

When leather strikes unbroken skin

And you beg me to push deep in

To tight confines within your crack

And beg for a more forceful whack

Whilst reaching back to clutch my sac

You’re shrieking with a sated grin

I slash the strap

The pinwheel left a pretty track

The paddle’s bruises ne’er turned black

But stripes of leather suit this sin

You tell me this one’s for the win

And urge more force in my attack

I slash the strap

Fifteen lines of rhyming poetry will always be a challenge,
especially when you’re expected to find a refrain and use only two rhymes. The
main challenge is finding something to say that bears repeating. I was
fortunate here that the phrase ‘I slash the strap’ has a hypnotic rhythm and
seems to work within the context of sexual punishment.

As always, I look forward to seeing your poems in the
comments box below. 

Writing Exercise – The Rhyme Royal

by | October 6, 2013 | | 10 Comments

James I of Scotland

 By Ashley Lister

 The rhyme royal (sometimes called the rime royale by those
who prefer to spell things incorrectly) is a fairly straightforward poetic
form.

It refers to a stanza of seven lines, each line containing
ten syllables, and the whole poem following a rhyming pattern of a b a b b c c.
The form, according to the Poetry Foundation, was popularized by Geoffrey
Chaucer and termed “royal” because his imitator, James I of Scotland, employed this
structure in his own verse.

Here’s an example of one I wrote earlier.

We talk about our plans for this evening

Things we’d love to do when at our
leisure

I long to give your sexual bells a ring:

Thrill you with a night you’ll always
treasure.

In return you give a choice of pleasure

But I care not if you swallow or spit

I’m happy if you put your mouth round it.

Note that there are ten syllables per line. This isn’t iambic
pentameter. This is merely ten syllables per line. Writing in iambs might make
for something more profound but, as regular readers of these exercises will be
aware, I am an exceptionally superficial poet.

One of the many fun things about this form is that the
stanzas can be used to form verses in a longer poem. This is the way Chaucer
used it in his work and we can see examples of this in Wyatt, Auden and many
others.

I pluck your pubes from twixt my teeth
and smile

The taste of you still lingers on my lips

Your scent’s a mem’ry that’s made to
beguile

I yearn to squirm beneath your fingertips

And play with toys like canes and crops
and whips

And savour pleasures borne beyond belief

Then pluck more pubes from in between my
teeth

As always, please feel free to share your rhyme royals in
the comments box below.

Writing Exercise – the villanelle

by | September 6, 2013 | | 20 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 The villanelle is
a nineteen-line poetic form consisting of five tercets followed
by a quatrain. There are two refrains and two repeating rhymes, with
the first and third line of the first tercet repeated alternately until the
last stanza, which includes both repeated lines.

This is a
complex form – but it’s worth persevering.

The
villanelle has been used for such memorable poems as Dylan Thomas’s ‘Do Not Go
Gentle into that Goodnight’, Theodore Roethke’s ‘The Waking’ and Sylvia Plath’s
‘Mad Girl’s Love Song.’ Writing a villanelle is not easy but, once you’ve
accomplished it, you’re in good company.

You may do me, and I will owe you one

Or until then I shall owe one to you

This lovers’ trade is really not a con

I guarantee it will be lots of fun

For me, at least (which might be nothing new)

You may do me, and I will owe you one

We shouldn’t start a sexu’l marathon

I know we’ve both got other things to do

This lovers’ trade is really not a con

But I’d like it if you could get me done

I don’t care if you suck or if we screw

You may do me, and I will owe you one

We’d celebrate with chilled Dom Perignon

I’ve brought a demi and champagne flutes: two

This lovers’ trade is really not a con

To get me off we’ll have to get it on

My need for satisfaction’s overdue

You may do me, and I will owe you one

This lovers’ trade is really not a con

There is a
formula:  A1 b A2 / a b A1 / a b
A2 / a b A1 / a b A2 / a b A1
A2. Here the letters (a and b) indicate the two rhyme sounds.
The use of upper case letters indicates a refrain. And the superscript numerals
indicate the different use of refrain one and refrain two.

Would
another example help to illustrate the form better?

You ask me if I’d like to be restrained

A1

You think our love could flourish with me bound

b

You claim you want to see me being chained

A2 

This interest in restraint is unexplained

a

And I think our relationship is sound

b

You ask me if I’d like to be restrained

A1

You say I should be physically detained

a

Or tied up like some safe/secured hound

b

You claim you want to see me being chained

A2 

I say, “Perhaps I might like being caned?”

a

Your eagerness does not get off the ground

b

You ask me if I’d like to be restrained

A1

You say my problem is that I’m untrained

a

You bring out rope next time we fool around

b

You claim you want to see me being chained

A2 

We tried it way back once and I complained

a

But with a gag I didn’t make a sound

b

You ask me if I’d like to be restrained

A1

You claim you want to see me being chained

A2 

The
villanelle is a lot of fun to work with. It is a complex form but I figure
those who’ve been reading these columns over the past year or so will be ready
for the adventure of a greater challenge.

As always, I
look forward to reading your villanelles in the comments box below.

Ash

Writing Exercise – the Ottava Rima

by | August 6, 2013 | | 17 Comments

 By Ashley Lister 

 We vow tonight will be an early night

We both have work to do tomorrow morn

But now, before I kill the bedroom light

I plead for you to tend to my hard horn.

The mood is set. The time seems very right.

We’re both fired up from watching hardcore porn

I do those things you tell me you adore

And then I stop ‘cos you’ve started to snore.

The Ottava Rima describes eight lines of poetry set out in the
form: a b a b a b c c. These eight lines can represent a single poem or a
collection of these stanzas can make up a longer work.

Originally, when it was brought to us from the Italian language,
the Ottava Rima had 11 syllables per line. Because this form was then appropriated
by English speakers in the 16th century, when iambic pentameter was
all the rage, those 11 syllables were reduced to ten. In the following you’ll
note that I’ve used some lines with ten and some with 11 syllables.

We did it whilst you cooked a sweet ‘n’ sour

We did it on the table in the kitchen

We did it whilst I read King’s The Dark Tower

We did it whilst you sewed and did some stitchin’

We did it in the bathroom in the shower

We did it even though your crotch was itchin’

On that morning we earned a world renown

To kill time whilst our ISP was down

The Ottava Rima is a lot of fun. It’s been used for a
variety of disparate purposes including religious verse, comedy, troubadour
songs and dramatic narratives. It’s been used by a host of impressive names
including Fairfax, Byron and Burgess. As always, the challenge this month is to
use this form to present something erotic.

I look forward to seeing your responses in the comments box
below.

Writing Exercise

by | July 6, 2013 | | 16 Comments

 by Ashley Lister 

 The quatern is a sixteen line French form composed
of four quatrains (four line stanzas).

The quatern has a refrain (a repeated line) that is
in a different place in each quatrain. In other words, the first line of stanza
one is the second line of stanza two, the third line of stanza three and the fourth
line of stanza four. It’s surprising how much this affects the meaning of the
words in that refrain.

A quatern should have eight syllables per line. It
does not have to be iambic or follow a set rhyme scheme.

I don’t know why you won’t undress

Your clothes are getting in my way

I say this to you night and day

It leaves our love life in a mess

And so I tell my therapist

I don’t know why you won’t undress

It stops me trying to caress

The parts I think you needed kissed

But he tells me to give you time

He says you don’t need my duress

I don’t know why you won’t undress

I worry you’re no longer mine

I hear my therapist confess

He’s seeing you: You’re deemed a slut

He wants some advice from me but

I don’t know why you won’t undress

I have to admit, I love poems that work with refrains. All poems get us thinking about words and the way we use them in different fashions. The use of a refrain, especially with such a didactic placement as the one in the quatrain, makes us think more about our selection of choice phrases.

As always, I look forward to enjoying your quaterns
in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise – the tritina

by | June 6, 2013 | | 15 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 Whenever I teach
poetry, there will often be a student arguing against rhyme or railing against
the discipline of meter or battling the regimented notion of syllable counting.
My usual response, that the practice of poetry is assisted by working to the
structure of established forms, often seems like a poor comeback. Oftentimes,
as a compromise, we’ll end up working on the tritina.

The tritina is a
ten line form of unrhymed poetry, broken into three tercets (three-lined
stanzas) with a final, solitary, line. 
The device that makes the tritina remarkable is its use of repeated
words, once in each line, in the pattern of A B C, C A B, B C A. The final line
of the tritina includes all three of the A B C words.

Kisses, Crops and Canes

For years they met and shared their kisses
Sating a passion for crops
Exploring a passion for canes

They learnt each other’s favourite canes
Then chased each stripe with tender kisses
And chased each kiss with cruel crops

Eventually they outgrew crops
Their need for pain outgrew the canes
But never once did they eschew kisses

Kisses do so much more than crops and canes

You’ll notice here
that the ABC words kisses(A), crops(B) and canes(C) are repeated at the end of the lines in the aforementioned
pattern: A B C, C A B, B C A. In the final line it doesn’t matter about the order
of the three words as long as they’re all there.

Kneel
and Worship

When we meet you insist that I should kneel
(before we undress, touch, or kiss) and
you insist that at your feet I worship

It helps that you’re so worthy of worship
and that I need to kneel
at your feet and

remain there paying homage and
promising other forms of worship
that I might still do whilst I kneel

How I love to hear you whisper: “Kneel and worship.”

There is no fixed
meter, although the poem appears to work best when each line contains a similar
number of syllables. In this one you’ll notice that the ABC words kneel(A), and(B) and worship(C)
are repeated (again) in the aforementioned pattern: A B C, C A B, B C A. I’ve
managed to get my ABC words as the last three in the final line – although this
isn’t a necessity.

As always, I look
forward to seeing your poems in the comments box below.

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

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