Latest Posts

Writing Exercises

Writing Exercise – The Fibonacci Poem

by | September 6, 2014 | | 3 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 I’ve never liked mathematics. When I was at school, pocket
calculators had just been invented. For me that seemed to make the concept of mathematics
redundant. Why did I need to learn algebra and equations when I could get a pocket
calculator to do that stuff for me? Nowadays, when I possess a smartphone that’s
capable of doing advanced mathematics with very little input from me, my need
to know how to manipulate numbers has become almost obsolete.

However, I think it’s important to know about Fibonacci numbers.
For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, this is the number series that
goes 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21… As you will have noticed each number is the sum
of the previous pair of numbers.

This can be applied to poetry, specifically with the syllabic
form of the Fibonacci Poem:

You

Me

Us two

Together

Naked and awkward

Until you do that special thing

And I respond with a kiss that never seems to end

The length of the Fibonacci Poem is your choice. The one I’ve
penned above goes up to a 13 syllable line, the one below only goes as far as
the eight syllable line.

Spank!

Ouch!

Buttocks

Warm and red

Deserving much more

Spank spank, spank, spank, spank, spank, spank, spank.

Whatever length you decide to work with, it would be fun to
see your Fibonacci Poems in the comments box below.

Ash

Writing Exercise – the shadorma

by | August 6, 2014 | | 4 Comments

 By Ashley Lister

The shadorma is something of an enigma. Authorities are
unsure about its ancestry. Is it an overlooked Spanish form that has been
around for ages? Or is it a relatively new innovation that has been brought to
us in the guise of something with a history?

These questions won’t be answered here. This is partly
because I’m not clever enough to know how to respond but mainly, because I don’t
care one way or the other. Whether it’s ancient or modern, the shadorma is a
fun poetic form that’s worth the time and effort of any writer wanting to stretch
literary muscles with a brief warmup exercise. To my mind, this is the only
detail worth considering with regards to any poetic form.

I don’t want
your lace-topped stockings
black thong or
fuck-me shoes.
I just want you without your
designer labels.

The shadorma is a six lines stanza made up of lines that
contain 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllables respectively. There is no fixed rhyme scheme. A
shadorma can consist of a single stanza, or the form can be used to produce a
longer poem with multiple stanzas.

Sad to say

despite best efforts

(replacing

batteries

shaking it ‘til it wobbles)

the rabbit is dead.

Take comfort
or consolation
from this fact:
that rabbit
died doing what he loved best.
His last words were, “buzz.”

The shadorma can be a lot of fun and, as with all poetic
forms, it’s a great way to discipline your writing muscles. The majority of online
material discussing this form reiterates the need for six unrhymed lines in the
format of 3-5-3-3-7-5 syllables. If you do get a chance to play with this one,
it would be great to see your poetry in the comments box below. 

Writing Exercise

by | July 6, 2014 | | 5 Comments

 By Ashley Lister

 Did I ever mention the cinquain? I can’t recall if I’ve covered it on
here. And, even if I have, the cinquain is always worth revisiting.

Invented by Adelaide Crapsey, not a name that most would want associated with their poetry, the traditional cinquain is five lines of
effective syllable based poetry.

spanking

giggling groans

a ripe rosy red rump

cheerily cheeky chastised cheeks

pleasure

Note the syllable count for this form:

Line one                               =
2 x syllables

Line two                               =
4 x syllables

Line three                           = 6 x syllables

Line four                              =
8 x syllables

Line five                               =
2 x syllables

Note also that the last line refers back to the first line, to give the
poem its cyclical feel.

oral

lips against lips

licks, kisses and nibbles
your scent, your taste, your sweet flavour

you’re mine

There are different interpretations of the cinquain, each one perfectly
valid. But I do love the rigidity of the traditional form. As always, if you
fancy sharing your cinquain in the comments box below, I’ll look forward to
reading your work.

Writing Exercise

by | June 6, 2014 | | 2 Comments

By Ashley Lister

This is what the Encyclopaedia Britannica has to say about the Rispetto:

rispetto, (Italian:: “respect,” ) plural rispetti, a Tuscan folk verse form, a version of strambotto. The rispetto lyric is generally composed of eight hendecasyllabic (11-syllable) lines. In its earliest form the rhyme scheme was usually abababcc. Later, the scheme ababccdd became more prominent, and other variations can also be found.

Here’s an interpretation of the second cited form of the
rispetto that was written for me by an anonymous colleague.

Won’t you tie me to the bed before we start?
At least secure my wrists so I’m held rigid.
You may take my body like you took my heart
I’m motionless and cool but far from frigid.

I’ll surrender to your absolute control
Let me languish in my loved submissive role
Make each punishment seem painful and unjust
I’ll be bound and tied: a prisoner to your lust.

There are other versions of the rispetto. There are heroic interpretations when written in iambic pentameter. I’ve even seen versions written in tetrameter.

The key things to remember for this form are:

1) Regardless of which meter or rhyme scheme you select, retain the strict meter.

2) Have fun.As always, please post your best rispetti in the comments box below. I look forward to reading your work.

Ashley Lister

Writing Exercise

by | May 6, 2014 | | 7 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 There are many interpretations of the phrase ‘found poetry.’
To my mind, found poetry is the result of taking an existing text, refashioning
it on the page, and presenting the words as a poem. It’s a technique that’s been used by Ezra Pound, William
Carlos Williams and T S Eliot amongst many others. It’s an exercise that’s fun
and produces surprisingly effective results.

The following two poems come from text within a piece of my
own short fiction, a short story called ‘Victoria’s Hand.’

Found Poem #1

The words
hung
between them like
a thrown gauntlet. 

The Grandfather
in the hall outside
continued to tick
loudly. 

Algernon studied her face
with an expression that was
almost
comical. 

“Victoria?” he whispered
meekly.  “I don’t think
I heard you correctly.  Could you
please forgive me and
say that again?”

Victoria said,
“Get your cock out.”

Found Poem #2

A young lady has a
right
to know about these things
before making
a commitment
of this magnitude. 

Would you care
to tongue
my hole
for a moment so I can decide
whether
or not you
may keep your
moustache?

The notion behind this exercise is to give a writer a more
acute awareness of prosodic features, such as the pauses suggested by line
breaks, and to allow authors to interpret the layout of their work on the page
as poetry.

As always, it will be a pleasure to read your found poetry
in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise – the canzonetta

by | April 6, 2014 | | 0 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 The canzonetta is a lyric poem. It contains varying line
lengths, varying metrical patterns and a refrain.

A typical canzonetta consists of at least two octaves. Each
octave should use a series of alternating couplets and the last line or phrase of
a stanza is repeated in each subsequent stanzas.

The rhyme scheme is:

a b a b c d c D 

or

a b a b c b c B

Note that the capital letter indicates a repeated line. Does
this sound complicated? Would it be better illustrated with an example?

I think it’s time we
played a game
A game you’ll know from way back when
Get naked and embrace the shame
Although you’re in the lion’s den
You’ll touch your toes, spread both your cheeks
Conclude your prayer and say, “Amen.”
In my domain no other speaks
So close your eyes and count to ten

You hold your breath
and worry hard
Because it’s time to play again
You fear your backside might get scarred
As once perhaps it did back then
You wonder what’s about to come
A sigh of leather and you ken
The pain is aimed right for your bum
So close your eyes and count to ten

You’ll notice here that I’ve gone for the a b a b c b c B
rhyme scheme. My refrain, ‘So close your eyes and count to ten’ will continue
to work through this poem if I go on to develop it into further stanzas. As
always, I look forward to reading your poetry in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise

by | March 6, 2014 | | 9 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 Since we started looking at poetry as a writing exercise we’ve
considered various syllable forms. The most famous of these is the haiku, usually
interpreted in Western writing as three lines containing 5-7-5 syllables.

As I’ve said before, I enjoy the discipline of syllable forms
because it forces us to approach words from a different angle. We’re counting
syllables as well as considering the perceived denotations and connotations of potential
synonyms.

There are other variations on this syllable-counting theme.
One of the more popular is the tanka.

The tanka is similar to the haiku except it’s longer in that
it’s usually five lines and interpreted as 5-7-5-7-7 syllables. Given that it’s
almost double the length of the haiku, the tanka can still be surprisingly
restrictive.

However, this month’s form is not the 5-7-5-7-7 syllable tanka.
This month we’re looking at the somonka.

The somonka is made up of two tanka-sized stanzas presented as
an exchange of love letters.


Note to my master
I come to you on my knees
Ready and willing
My bare flesh is yours tonight
Do with me as you see fit


To my submissive
Thank you for your love letter
It was not needed
Your bare flesh is mine tonight
But only if I want it

Does that look simple enough? Two tank-sized stanzas (5-7-5-7-7
syllables) presented as an exchange of love letters. I look forward to seeing
your somonkas in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise

by | February 6, 2014 | | 3 Comments

 By Ashley Lister

 In the drinking-well
(Which the plumber built her)
Aunt Eliza fell,
We must buy a filter.

Col D Streamer,
Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes

The original Ruthless Rhymes (Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes or check out the ruthless
rhymes web page) were written by Col D Streamer, pen name of Harry Graham.
These were published in the early 1900s at a time when dark and sinister humour
was prevalent in the pages of published works. Graham is also the name most
commonly associated with the poetry phenomena of Little Willies. Little Willies
are poems that catalogue the dark catastrophes and grim activities surrounding
the eponymous Little Willie.


Little Willie from his mirror
Sucked the mercury all off,
Thinking, in his childish error,
It would cure his whooping-cough.


At the funeral, Willie’s mother
Smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
”T was a chilly day for William
When the mercury went down.”

Samuel Reynolds Hole
A Little Tour in America

Poetry pages soon became replete with Little Willies,
produced by a broad variety of authors and written to varying degrees of
success. These set a precedent that paved the way for the line drawings and memorable
couplets of Edward Gorey with works such as his delightfully deviant Gashlycrumb Tinies.


A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil assaulted by bears…

Edward Gorey
Gashlycrumb Tinies

What does any of this have to do with writing erotica? Well,
that’s your exercise for this month. Produce quatrains or couplets that are
delightfully deviant. Write something that blunders into rhyme and tells a cold
and brutal story in the shortest and most simplistic manner. Dare to be vulgar
and write something about little willies.

They climbed the hilltop just to have sex
Did the nursery rhyme Jackie and Jilly
But she pushed him down and made him her ex
Disappointed by his little willy.

I won’t write any more here this month. I’ll simply end by asking
you to share your little willies in the comments box below.

Writing Exercise

by | January 6, 2014 | | 7 Comments

By Ashley Lister

Happy New Year. In a bid to keep things lively around here, I’ve decided to alternate each month of 2014 with a writing exercise one month and a poetry exercise the next month. This month we’re looking at one of my favourite writing exercises: the swiftie.

Tom Swift was the central character in a series of books produced between 1910 and 1933, the majority of which were attributed to author Victor Appleton.  One of the characteristic (and much parodied) features of the narrative in these stories was the speech attribution. These attributions, usually adverbial, have become the source of an entertaining parlour game where the attributive adverb has to be humourlessly linked to the content of the sentence, usually with a pun.

“We must hurry,” said Tom swiftly.
“I’m working as a security officer,” she said guardedly.
“I have a cold,” he said icily.
“Do you want to see my pussy?” she purred.
“But I asked for a cabernet sauvignon,” Tom whined.
“I was just looking at pictures of my mother,” Oedipus ejaculated.

Take a shot at producing a small handful of your own swifties in the comments box below. It goes without saying that these swifties are entertaining as a writing exercise, and a great way for warming up your pen hand and getting words on the page, but they should not enter into serious attempts at fiction unless you’re determined to stop your readers from enjoying your work.

Writing Exercise – The Minute Poem

by | December 6, 2013 | | 9 Comments

 by Ashley Lister

 The Minute Poem is a form that follows an 8, 4, 4, 4 syllable count
structure. It usually has 3 stanzas that are exactly the same: 8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4, 4, 4;  8, 4 , 4, 4 syllables.

A traditional Minute Poem has 12 lines in total. It is written in a
strict iambic meter. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff.

In this traditional example I’ve included both the rhyme scheme (aabb,
ccdd, eeff) and the syllable count (8,4,4,4 for each stanza).

You come to me in saucy mood

You’re feeling rude

You want my dick

You want it quick

At first we cuddle, then we kiss

It feels like bliss

Our passions soar

We both want more

It’s all over too fast for you

What can I do?

Speed’s in my plan:

the minute man

Alternatively, there’s also a non-traditional minute poem. This adaptation
doesn’t have to rhyme but it should follow the established syllable count.

Our naked bodies give shared warmth

they entertain

arouse, inspire

and so much more

We’ve been together for so long

It feels just like

eternity

but I want more

As long as our shared pleasures please

I’ll always try

to be with you

and give you more

As always, I look forward to seeing your poems in the comments box
below. 

Hot Chilli Erotica

Hot Chilli Erotica

Categories

Babysitting the Baumgartners - The Movie
From Adam & Eve - Based on the Book by New York Times Bestselling Authors Selena Kitt

Categories

Archives

Pin It on Pinterest